Once upon a time, there was a dude named Voldemort - then when he died, an annoying poltergeist gave him this awesome nickname: Voldy!
And the all lived happily ever after. Oh yeah, except for the fact that he was DEAD. But besides that, it was just great; a real feel-good tear jerker.
Oh and also, all of his followers were killed or sent to prison and the empire and regime of terror he had created over a country was shattered into a million tiny pieces. So just his entire life's work gone…no biggie, right?
Wait, are we getting a bit ahead of ourselves here?
One day, when Bellatrix Lestrange was applying some Zit Cream and trimming her nose hair; she turned on her laptop, Voldy Jr. and logged onto her IM account.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx is now online.
IDOhaveahairynose is now online.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: ZIT CREAM!
IDOhaveahairynose: Damnit, I thought I burned all those pictures.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx:I bought a pregnancy test!
IDOhaveahairynose: And I needed to know that because…?
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: IT SAID I WASN'T! OMG!
IDOhaveahairynose: Wait..what? And are you SURPRISED about this? If you are… I can't pretend I'm not a little… disturbed.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: I am surprised, cuz ya know what this means?
IDOhaveahairynose: I don't really care to know, but I doubt that there is any way to stop you from telling me.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: That's the spirit, big nose! Okay, it means I'm NOT pregnant! Isn't that exciting? And it came in shiny box! XD
IDOhaveahairynose: I do NOT have a big nose.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: Yeah, you do and apparently there's a lotta hair up there. According to your username, anyway!
IDOhaveahairynose: All the good ones were taken.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: Yep and I took the BEST. :D Mwahahahaha! Crucio, to you!
IDOhaveahairynose: That doesn't work over Instant Message, Bella.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: Oh yeah….uhhhh? Ummmm, who are you anyway?
IDOhaveahairynose: Snape, duh.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx : Oh… life sucks.
IDOhaveahairynose: And what is THAT supposed to mean?
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx :…
IDOhaveahairynose:?
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx : I'm NOT pregnant!
IDOhaveahairynose: -facepalm-
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: I'm NOT GONNA GET BIG AND FAT! YAAAYY! I'M NOT GONNA HAVE A LITTLE POOPY-BUTTED BRAT POP OUTTA…
IDOhaveahairynose: Ew! I do NOT want to go down this road with you.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx : You have the maturity of a five year old. I LIKE DUCKS!
IDOhaveahairynose: That would have been a great rebuke...
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: IT WAS!
IDOhaveahairynose: No, you Bellatrix-ed it.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: It was perfected by my personal touch! DUCKS! I LOVE DUCKIES!
Ilike2killducks is now online
Ilike2killducks: Hey, beloved sister! What are you talking about- oh! Never mind.
Ilike2killducks has signed out.
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx: CISSY! OMFG, YOU DIIIIEEEEE!
xxxLove_Boldy_Voldysxxx has signed out.
IDOhaveahairynose: …I wonder if Bellatrix has any extra pregnancy tests. I would like a shiny box…