"Matthew, Matthew! I need to speak to you!" screamed Jesus on his cross.
"Out of my way, out of my way! Jesus calls for me!" shouted Matthew, attempting to pass through the loud crowd.
Matthew came upon Roman guards controlling the crowd, blocking the way to Jesus.
"Stop! None shall pass!" one of the guards said.
"But I have to speak to Jesus!" bellowed Matthew.
"I said NONE SHALL PASS!"
The guards slashed one of Matthew's arms off, and threw him into the crowd.
"Matthew, Matthew! Come, I need to speak to you!" screamed Jesus again.
Weak, bleeding, but not broken, Matthew got up and attempted to get pass the crowd again.
"Out of my way, out of my way! Jesus beckons me!"
He comes across those same Roman guards.
"You again? We said NONE SHALL PASS!" they shouted, as they slashed off Matthew's other arm and threw him into the crowd again.
"Matthew! Matthew!"
And Matthew, with whatever strength he had left, attempted to go through the crowd, and came upon those guards again. And again they chopped off a limb. A leg, this time. Then threw him back into the crowd.
"MATTHEW! MATTHEW! I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU!" Jesus screamed, visibly in pain.
And again Matthew went through the crowd, and came upon those guards. And again they chopped a limb. This time it was his last leg, and Matthew was a now stump. The guards threw him back into the crowd.
"MATTHEEEEEEEEEEEW!" Jesus howled.
With his last strength, Matthew crawled his way through the crowd again. And he came upon those same guards... again!
"Fine, fine," one of them said. "You've had enough, we'll let you pass."
Finally, after losing both his arms and legs, Matthew was before Jesus, his savior, at the cross.
"Jesus!" Matthew screamed in joy. "What do you want to tell me?"
Jesus nodded at the horizon and said: "Isn't that your house I see in the distance?"
Author's note:
This is based off of an old joke my local priest once told me. Good man, had a great sense of humor.
I apologize if this piece of fiction offended you, somehow.