A/N: Me: So I think this will be my favorite story I have written yet!

Fang: Me too!

Me: It's all about Dylan dying in several, very painful ways!

Fang: Like we said, best story yet.

Me: If you're a Dylan lover, don't read! I'll do like two, maybe three deaths a chapter, 'cause they're really short. Oh, and you horror fans should find some, or possibly all, of these… trapsfamiliar. First reviewer to get it right gets a shout out and some virtual food!

Fang: Is it edible?

Me: Ah… no.

Fang: Darn.

Me: *shrug* Fact: I do 250 crunch type exercises every other night, and I have partially visible abs. Yes, I am a girl, and yes, I could probably kick many guys' butts that I know.

Fang: Not me! :P

Me: … Some day Fang… someday….

Dylan POV

I woke up in a dark room. I felt cold concrete below me, and it was very cold around me. I realized I only had on boxer shorts- where are my clothes?

As I sat up, I heard a deep gravelly voice say, "Your futile attempt to take your own life the other day was pathetic, Dylan. The only way for you to recompense is to potentially experience the loss of your life. You have an hour. Do you have the will to live, Dylan?"

I was really scared now. Who was this psycho, and what did he want me to do?

Lights came on, blinding me for a second. After blinking a couple times, I saw rows and rows of… was that rusty barbed wire? It probably went on for fifty yards. At the end of it I saw a partially open door.

I started to panic when I heard the ticking of a clock. I looked wildly around, and saw a timer on the wall to my right. 59:50.

I was hyperventilating as I considered my options. Stay here, and with my enhanced DNA hope that I survive long enough to be found? Or risk the barbed wire to escape now? 59:30. Wait… with my healing spit, I could fix any cuts from the wire!

That thought cheered me up, and I started towards the wire. I climbed through the first row, wincing when it cut me.

In the little room between rows, I half stood up and started to heal myself. There was a lot of blood, I was having trouble healing! I tried to slow my breathing and heart rate. The bleeding decreased a little, but the cuts were still open.

I tried to squash my worry as I climbed through the next row. I got cut more. and now I wasn't healing at all. Oh fudge. 50:49.

I went into overdrive. I tore through the wires, not caring when I felt myself get oozy from blood loss. I was half way there. 45:18.

I was about two-thirds toi the door when I collapsed. I fell, slicing more of my face on wire. I saw a pool of blood surrounding me. There was also a clear liquid coming from my abdomen. It stung a little. Stomach acid.

The last thing I saw was a squeaky tricycle roll in. On it was a puppet. It laughed a demonic laugh, and then everything was dark.

Dylan POV

I woke up on cold concrete. I was being cut all over, but I don't know what was doing it. My entire back was cut all over. I had no clothes on- only boxers. The room was pitch black. No light what so ever. I sat up, felling dizzy and nauseous.

Out of hidden speakers came a voice. It was deep and raspy. "You faking an illness with your flock? Hm. Not worthy to be healthy, I think. Let's see if you have the will to survive this. There is an unlit candle and a box of matches next to your right foot. There is a slow acting poison in your blood. It will kill you in four hours. The antidote is in a safe behind you. The combination is somewhere on the walls of this chamber. Use the candle to see it. Oh, and the floor is covered in broken glass, and your body is covered in a highly flammable liquid. One misstep, and you'll go up in flames. Good luck, Dylan."

W.T.F.? Well, the broken glass explains my cut up back. But that's the least of my worries. I reached around for the candle and matches. I bumped against a lot of the glass, but finally I felt a small cylinder and a small box. Trembling, I lit a match and held it to the candle, careful to keep it away from my body. As the candle flamed up, I looked around me in horror.

Every square inch of the 10 cubic foot cell was cover in numbers! Literally. There were tens of thousands of numbers. And three were the combination? I hyperventilated, causing the candle to sputter.

I started at the top of the wall right in front of me. I went through the whole wall. I relit my candle three times. 9 matches left. With my enhanced speed, it took me an hour and a half. I was very panicked. I needed to go faster to find the combo in time!

I started on the wall to my right. I leaned in for a closer look at the numbers on the wall. I realized my mistake a millisecond too slow. My bare chest burst into flame.

I started screaming. It hurt so much! The flames rapidly spread to my other body parts. I ran in circles, trying to beat out the flames. By this time, my whole torso was on fire, and it was starting on my arms and legs.

In a few minutes, all I could do was fall onto the ground, slowly being incinerated. I raised my eye to the wall for the last time, and saw the blinking of a video camera in the far corner. How ironic. I had always wanted to be in TV, was my last coherent thought.

A/N: Me: Yay! If that doesn't cheer you up, nothing will!

Fang: Yup! Nothing like a good old dead Dylan. The only good Dylan.

Me: Ya got that right! Fist bump!

Fang: *turkey*

Me: Fang! What are you, eight?

Fang: *nods seriously*

Me: Ugh! I can't get anywhere with this boy! Fact: I really do say things like Ugh! in real life. 'I leave in a huff!' 'Epic fail' and 'No. Never. Again.' are my most used ones probably.

Fang: She's a very sarcastic person.

Me: Oh, and you're not?

Fang: Nope. Never! *innocence*

Me: *eye roll* Take your innocence and shove it u-

MooMoo: We'll take this time to ask you to review! Hehheh….

Rawr: So… yeah… review please! Tell us if it's worth continuing!