He is sick and tired of being poked and prodded in the Bajoran laboratory. Sick and tired of being forced to entertain Cardassian pigs. And he is sick and tired of being alone.
Alone. Yes, that is what he is. All alone, with not even another of his kind, let alone a friend. Dr. Mora… Dr. Mora is not a friend. He is a tormentor, no matter how earnest and caring Mora seems to be about him.
He considers his options while lying dormant in his pail. This is the only time during the day that he is left to be himself, left to think.
But he doesn't want to think. He doesn't want to even ponder the utter pathetic mess he is. Instead, he listens to snatches of conversation from outside.
Today, there's a new assistant for Dr. Mora. She flirts with the doctor, uses feminine wiles but can't seem to convince him to let her do extra tests on "the shapeshifter." She pleads to just be able to do the regular cleanup, and he reluctantly agrees, leaving. From the sound of things, the big guards who usually stand in front of his room during the day have left with Mora.
The assistant is left alone in the room, but he doesn't hear her doing tests. Instead, it sounds like she's opening up a hidden door in the lab.
He realizes now that she's not an assistant, that she's here to gather research on him. He quickly returns to the solid form he often takes, a crude facsimile of Dr. Mora, and is surprised to see that she is now wearing a hooded cloak and holding a carrying container of some sort.
"You're not here for research!" he understands aloud. She hears him and turns, and he catches a fleeting sight of startled brown eyes. "You're here for me."
She nods, understanding that there's no point of lying. "Yes," she concurs, obviously masking her voice, too. He realizes that there are probably listening devices in the lab. "I'm a member of the Bajoran resistance. We thought that a shapeshifter would considerably up our chances of inflicting serious harm on the Cardassians."
He shakes his head. "What makes you think I'd help you once you kidnapped me?" he demands.
She looks at him again, but this time he doesn't see her eyes. He feels a stab of regret, then forcibly quenches it. "Were you planning on staying in a laboratory for the rest of your life?" she demands.
"What else do I have to do in life?" he counters.
She shakes her head pityingly. "Shapeshifter, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be satisfied here! A scientific curiosity with the occasional day off to entertain a bunch of drunk Cardassians? Face it- there's nothing for you here."
"And what's waiting for me out there?" he challenges. "A life full of discrimination and hatred? I'm not a normal person. I'm barely even a person! What use is it to go out into a world where I will never be accepted?"
She moves closer to him, placing a hand on his faux arm. "Shapeshifter, if you join us, you wouldn't be a freak of nature. You'd be a hero. And you probably would be accepted, too." She squeezes his arm. "I would accept you."
He pauses for a moment, trying to consider her offer. It seems so tempting. And yet… "I'm afraid not."
"Why?" she asks…no, demands. "What do you have to lose?"
What does he have to lose? He thinks of the lab and the cool darkness of his pail. He thinks of the contempt most hold him in. And he thinks of the solitarily life he leads..
That is why, he realizes. He likes being alone. Or at least is used to it. It is one thing about him that he will never change. And to suddenly join a group of people fighting for a cause… that would make him one of a group. He could have friends, friends like her.
But would he belong? Would he ever feel like he truly belonged?
"There are other factors here," he says finally, conceding to himself that he is being stupid. He doesn't know why silly fears would keep him from going.
She turns to go. "You're making a mistake," she tells him. "But if you ever change your mind… you'll be able to find us."
He allows himself to smile, that grotesque stretching of the mouth that solids do. This time, it doesn't feel grotesque. "Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."
She leaves, taking a part of him with her.
A few minutes later, he, too, leaves. He won't stay here, not after the enticing thoughts of freedom. No. He's leaving the lab for good.
And he does, at peace with his decision. He doesn't join the resistance. Instead, he works as a security officer on Terok Nor, even when it becomes Deep Space Nine.
And ten years later, Odo still stares into Kira Nerys's brown eyes and remembers a flash of eyes that he will always suspect are identical to his beloved's.