Title: The Pack
Summary: Really, everything about Yuffie could piss him off. Even good natured humor...
Warnings: Grumpy Leon
Pairing: Hinted Cleon, but not the focus; Cloud isn't even listed in the characters.
Disclaimer: Leon would totally be a smoker if I owned KH... But, don't be smoking, guys!
Leon looked lugubriously to the hyperactive teen, clearly not amused at her antics. She'd been trying to get him to quit since...well, the day she met him. It wasn't like he smoked around the others, in the houses or cars, in fact going quite out of his way not to fill his friends' lungs with the fumes, unlike Cid who smoked anywhere and everywhere he pleased. Though, for some reason, she seemed a whole lot more fixated on Leon's addiction.
"The Hell is this?" the ex-SeeD commander asked, a death-glare clearly directed at the youngest member of the Restoration Committee.
"I would think you of all people would recognize a pack of Marlboro," the ninja replied cheekily.
"I would. If it were filled with cigarettes instead of...Ghirardelli..."
"Hey, chocolate is equally addictive, right?"
Leon sighs, rubbing his scar. "You do realize the shop doesn't open for two more hours, Yuffie?"
"Of course I realize! Why else would I have done it?"
"Why exactly did you do it?" he asks moodily. Really, everything about Yuffie could piss him off. Even good natured humor...
"Because every cigarette you smoke takes off eleven minutes of your life, and that's eleven more minutes I won't get to spend with you!"
"What about Cid? He smokes way more. What about the hours of his life he takes off every day?"
"Cid's old, he's just about to kick the bucket anyway," the thief shrugs.
"You do realize he's only six years older than me?"
"What?! That means you really need to stop smoking!" the youth exclaims.
"Hey," the blond hero calls, entering the house. "I heard about Yuff's plan, so I picked these up for you," he says, tossing the red and white decorated box of cancer.
"Meanie!"
"Though, you know," he whispers, closer to the brunet. "I take her stance on it. I want every minute you've ever wasted back. Imagine all the things we'll never get to do -all because you'd rather smoke... Well, later guys," Cloud says, catching sight of a bed-headed Aerith, though not before a well hidden wink that the Cetra still somehow manages to catch, a crooked smile touching the corners of her sleepy face.
"Whatever," the leader shrugs, pushing away from the wall and following the other man's exit. He would debate on the way to the bailey if he really would smoke. But really, it wouldn't matter, shaking his head at the pack of candy cigarette sticks. Those little bastards...
A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this humorous take on what would happen if Leon smoked. I know I enjoyed it xD