author's note: Okay, so presently this story will only be about 4 or 5 chapters long. This story has a lot to do with songs but I don't consider it that much of a song fic. I really hope you like it!

BPOV

I took a bite of my apple, mechanically, as I gazed, unseeing, at the floor tiles of the lunchroom. I couldn't tell you what I was thinking at that moment or if I was even really thinking. It was like I was on autopilot.

I was suddenly awaken from my trance by the sound of my name being called by a familiar voice. I looked up at the speaker. Jessica.

"Bella." she said emotionlessly.

"What?" I asked. I was shocked by my voice. Lifeless, solemn, grave. I flinched.

"We have an extra ticket to a concert tonight. Mike is sick. It's in Seattle. We'd love it if you came." Angela answered my question for Jessica, her voice was more pleasant then the emotionless tone of Jessica's but I didn't like how I detected pity in it.

I looked over at Mike's chair. It was empty. I hadn't noticed his absence and I wondered how many days he'd been gone.

"I don't think I can..." I said. I didn't like the idea of music. Too much of it reminded me of him. I shook that thought away. Why pour salt on the wound?

"Please Bella? I know you don't enjoy music but I'd like it if you came. We all would." Angela said hopefully. I knew she wanted me to go but I could tell Jessica and Lauren would rather I not come. I guessed that Angela had put Jessica up to asking me. It was nice of her to think of me and to make an attempt at reassociating with me (we hadn't had a real conversation for months) but I just wasn't ready to get out.

Could I do it? Probably not. I thought of Charlie. The pain in his eyes when he saw me. I knew it caused him hurt to see me the way I was but what could I do? You could go to the concert. A voice in my head said. I signed. Charlie would be delighted if I went to a concert.

"What do ya say Bella?" asked Ben. He was in on Angela's scheme, obviously.

"What concert is it?" I asked, starting to give in.

Angela smiled brightly, "Avril Lavigne! The concert is at 8 o' clock. We will pick you up at 5:30, 6 o' clock...if you go...that is..." Angela bit her lip and gave me some what of a pleading look.

"Fine." I said. It couldn't be that bad, right? I was kidding myself. I knew it would be horrible. Just horrible. All of the songs were sure to be about love of breaking up. This was going to infect the wound. I would have to work hard to return to my formal state of numbness.

Angela smiled and squealed. She hugged me and talked about what fun it would be. I guess me accepting the invite was real progress for her. I hadn't seen Angela ever this happy.

I smiled a small smile. I was glad to see her happy. I'd suffer for their happiness.

I was doing this for Charlie. For Angela. It didn't matter what it did to me. So what if I hurt a little more? I'd have to live with this hurt for the rest of my life. I'd better get used to it.