I watched her for a moment by the stairwell. Her face obscured by the hood of her cloak. She leaned against the window, watching the people down below in the courtyard.
It had been far too long since I had set eyes upon this familiar figure. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and surprised that the well-trained bard hadn't noticed me yet. A sly smirk stretched across my face as I crept forward with feather light steps, halting just behind the desk that was scattered with papers.
"Becoming careless in our old age, are we?" I jested, chuckling when the bard jumped and turned around with lightning speed, daggers drawn and ready to strike. I raised my hands in mock surrender, a full smile gracing my lips as the bards jaw dropped and her eyes widened to an almost comical size.
"It… You! It can't be!" She exclaimed, daggers clattering against the wooden flooring of the rookery as she flung her arms around my neck. A low chuckle echoed in the rafters as I pulled back the Spymasters hood, placing a deep and longing kiss to her rosy lips.
Salt mingled in as the bards tears slipped down her cheeks and she giggled with content and excitement. My fingers tangled in the fiery strands of hair, trying to bring my lover as close as possible.
When the need for air became too much, we finally pulled back, the bards sky blue eyes watery and a smile permanently etched into her features.
"How are you… How…" She stumbled, her usual eloquence lost in the moment of unabashed bliss. My thumbs wiped away tears as I held her face between my hands."You sent no word. I haven't…" Soft lips interrupted her once more. "I wanted it to be a surprise." A smirk spread across my lips once more as they continually assaulted the bards. Leliana placed her hands on my armored chest, halting me for a moment.
"Kit… Did… Did you…" Words failed her once more, searching for the answers but dreading their revelations. I smiled broadly, wrapping my arms around Leliana's waist. "Yes, Leli. I've found it."
A hand lifted to her mouth, trying to stifle the joyous sobs that moved in waves, blinking tears away rapidly to see my eyes clearly, searching for the truth I hoped to convey. I gripped my lovers hand, moving it to my lips and kissing the ring finger on her left hand. "Marry me." I whispered, voice low and hoarse with caged emotions. My heart beat painfully as I awaited her response. Another sob slipped through the Spymasters lips as she tried to reply.
Nodding furiously in response to the words that failed her, she wrapped her arms around my neck. "I take that as a yes." I chuckled again, holding my lover as close as possible, silently promising to never leave again.
When the bards sobs subsided, she pulled back to look at me, finally taking in my new appearance. My once long, dark hair was cut short, shaved on the sides. My once light green eyes were a shade darker, holding a haunted look that appeared after the defeat of the Archdemon and held the gaze of a stranger. A new scar ran across my face, stretching from my left eyebrow, across my nose and ending at my cheek. Leliana reached up with trembling fingers, tracing the red and ragged skin.
I closed my eyes, feeling the soft, cool tips of her fingers on my heated skin, hoping that she would still want someone so broken and scarred. "When?" Leliana whispered, feeling the rough edges and the torn skin on my nose. I sighed, grabbing her wrist gently and placing a soft kiss to the palm. "At Vigil's Keep. You should see the other guy." I smirked down at the redhead, trying to lighten the darkened mood again, laughing when a familiar disapproving frown graced her lips.
"I should have been there." Leliana said after sometime, looking down with guilt. I placed my fingers under her chin, making her meet my gaze and giving her a warm smile. "No, you had much more important things to do. I've seen some of the Inquisition and have heard much, it is rather impressive, though you need better guards." I winked at the bard, teasing her and felt my heart fluttered when the woman laughed, a sound that brought me back from my darkest moments.
"Leliana, I have reports from your scouts. They've reported no oddities near the Winter Palace as of yet, but…" An Antivan accent trailed off and a gasp of surprise filled the rafters as she took in the sight before her. Leliana stepped back from me, her demeanor completely changing into one of professionalism. I frowned slightly at her sudden change, but understood she had a job to do still.
"Josephine," Leliana said lightly, giving a small smile and drawing the hood of her cloak back over her head, "this is Kit Cousland, Commander of the Grey and Arlessa of Amaranthine." She flicked her hand in my direction dismissively, then folded them behind her back, squaring her shoulders. It was more than a little unsettling to see how quickly Leliana's role changed. I could see that she was no longer the shy, curious and optimistic bard I had fallen for…
"Oh my," Josephine gasped, covering her face as a blush of embarrassment appeared. "Leliana! You hadn't told me she would be here, I-I am unprepared. There should be… We need to… plan!" She stumbled, exclaiming protests and mumbling something in Antivan that I could not understand.
"My lady." She finally settled on, bowing at the waist rather clumsily, clenching her papers and books so tight her knuckles were white. I stepped forward, placing a hand on the dark skinned womans shoulder and laughed. "It's quite alright. I'm not one for formalities." I shot a quick glance in Leliana's direction, wondering why she had introduced me in such a way, knowing I had little interest in my titles. Her gaze, however, was hollow and focused on something distant.
This Leliana? I didn't know who this Leliana was. This was someone new, someone completely different from the woman I knew before. "Oh my, I can't believe it is you. I've heard so many things about you, Arlessa." Josephine rambled, staring at me with awe. I smiled at the woman. "All good things, I hope?" I teased, winking at Leliana for good measure. The bard, however, stood stock still, only the quick twitch of her lip assured me that she got the joke.
"Of course! Leliana speaks of you quite often." Josephine smiled at her, and I chuckled when a slight blush appeared on the Spymasters cheeks. There she is, I thought to myself, watching Leliana try to form a response. There's the cute bard I love. I smiled at her, moving back to wrap an arm around her thin waist. She stood still, but did not move away. "Josie, please inform the Inquisitor that the invitations for the Winter Palace have been acquired. We will need to meet in the war room for deliberations." Leliana said, tilting her head in a dismissive manner towards Josephine.
The Antivan bowed once more to the women, "of course, Leliana." She smiled and turned to me. "We'll have to have a banquet or something of the sort in your honor, my lady. Skyhold will be thrilled with your presence." She turned and descended the stairs before I could protest.
I huffed in frustration, feeling suffocated already with all the nobility and formalities. Leliana giggled, knowing my familiar signs of frustration. "Come now, my Warden. It will be fun." She said, intertwining her fingers at the back of my neck, pressing her body against mine. I frowned at her, even as my heart beat faster.
"First of all, you know I hate parties. Second, what was that?" I asked, trying to keep the annoyance from my voice. She quirked an eyebrow at me in question, "What was what?"
"The sudden change when Josephine showed up, you closed yourself off." I hadn't seen her so distant since they confronted Marjoline in Denerim during the Blight, but I kept that observation to myself, watching her mull over a response.
She sighed, resting her chin on my shoulder. "It's just who I am." She whispered and I scoffed, pulling back to look into the sky blue eyes that always spoke to me... But now, they were empty.
"It isn't, Leli, and you know it. What happened?" I gripped her hand, squeezing to try and assure her that I was here for her. She stared at me, her icy, empty gaze melting into a wavy ocean blue as her disguise faded and she became the soft hearted bard. "I... It's what I've had to do, Kit. What I have had to become working for the Divine. What I have to be to help the Inquisition." Leliana finished, her voice strong and full of resolve even though tears filled her eyes once more.
I wiped them from her cheek. I didn't know how to process this, it was painful to see Leliana so distant and ruthless, but I understood the necessity and I had no right to interfere. She leaned into my touch, closing her eyes and sighing softly. "I can't believe you're here." She whispered, squeezing my hand as though she needed the contact to believe. I squeezed back, kissing her forehead and her tears. "I am here," I breathed in her scent, Andrastes grace and the slight scent of vanilla filled my senses and I couldn't help but smile at the familiar smells that had soothed my soul for a year and more. "I will always be here. I promise to never leave you again." Voicing the thought that had been present ever since arriving at Skyhold.