Lord of the Rings Self Help Classes-#1!
Please criticize, praise, etc (
*Random Self-help guy sidles in* (to be called SFG)
SFG: Hello, and welcome to my self-help classes!
*The LOTR characters stare at him stonily*
SFG: Ahem..um yes then. So- what problems are you all having?
Frodo: I'm corrupted with a wound
Sam: Too many children
Merry: I'm just here for the food
Pippin: Hangovers
Aragorn: Arwen
Arwen: Dear!
Boromir: I'm dead! It makes me feel unwanted (
Legolas: Fangirls! Tittering giggling fangirls, they drive me nuts!
Galadriel: MY lust for power and fame, my OWN!
Celeborn: What the world..needs now..is love..sweet love..
Galadriel: Celeborn dearie kins, MY husband, there is no love, love is all MINE
SFG: So it sounds as if you all have some mighty bad problems
Galadriel: Yes, but they're all MY problems, no one else's!!
Merry: This is really boring, where's the food?
Pippin: I've got a headache here, I want to go to bed! I'm not getting any help!
Frodo: Well I'm hurting and sick from this corrupting wound, why don't you care about me?
Aragorn: Oh yeah? Well look at this sorry excuse for a wife I have!
Arwen: Loveipoo! I'm not satisfying enough?!
Boromir: Well here I am DEAD and no one is comforting me!
Sam: Hmph. I'm got thousands of children awaiting me at home, which means thousands of HORRID STINKY DIAPERS to change! All the wife does is drink and smoke and leave me with them!
Legolas: I beat all of you! Fangirls are the worst! They rip your clothes and..*starts to break down* and..and..and..and..
SFG: *slaps Legolas*
Legolas: and stole my hair style!
Galadriel: Um..actually it's mine! Everything is mine!
Legolas: No way! It's mine!
Galadriel: OMG LOOK FANGIRLS!
Legolas: Fangirls?! OMG where?!
Merry: *looks bored* Up your butt.
Arwen: EWWWNESS that's gross! Legolas' butt is SO not the place for fangirls..
Frodo: Actually that's where they want to be..
Aragorn: Bah, no one cares about my butt! My butt is all sexy but do I have fangirls in my butt? No!
Celeborn: Love people! Sweet love, hugs and kisses, Valentines year round!
Pippin: Shut up and let me suffer in silence!
Boromir: Once again I'm left uncared for! My body is in a river and NO ONE CARES!
Legolas: *is looking around for fangirls*
Merry: I'm wearing a red thong
Arwen: H-huh?
Aragorn: W-what?
*stunned silence fills the room*
SFG: OH MY GOSH HE'S CORRUPTED
*pushes everyone out*
Hehe, next chapter soon (
Please criticize, praise, etc (
*Random Self-help guy sidles in* (to be called SFG)
SFG: Hello, and welcome to my self-help classes!
*The LOTR characters stare at him stonily*
SFG: Ahem..um yes then. So- what problems are you all having?
Frodo: I'm corrupted with a wound
Sam: Too many children
Merry: I'm just here for the food
Pippin: Hangovers
Aragorn: Arwen
Arwen: Dear!
Boromir: I'm dead! It makes me feel unwanted (
Legolas: Fangirls! Tittering giggling fangirls, they drive me nuts!
Galadriel: MY lust for power and fame, my OWN!
Celeborn: What the world..needs now..is love..sweet love..
Galadriel: Celeborn dearie kins, MY husband, there is no love, love is all MINE
SFG: So it sounds as if you all have some mighty bad problems
Galadriel: Yes, but they're all MY problems, no one else's!!
Merry: This is really boring, where's the food?
Pippin: I've got a headache here, I want to go to bed! I'm not getting any help!
Frodo: Well I'm hurting and sick from this corrupting wound, why don't you care about me?
Aragorn: Oh yeah? Well look at this sorry excuse for a wife I have!
Arwen: Loveipoo! I'm not satisfying enough?!
Boromir: Well here I am DEAD and no one is comforting me!
Sam: Hmph. I'm got thousands of children awaiting me at home, which means thousands of HORRID STINKY DIAPERS to change! All the wife does is drink and smoke and leave me with them!
Legolas: I beat all of you! Fangirls are the worst! They rip your clothes and..*starts to break down* and..and..and..and..
SFG: *slaps Legolas*
Legolas: and stole my hair style!
Galadriel: Um..actually it's mine! Everything is mine!
Legolas: No way! It's mine!
Galadriel: OMG LOOK FANGIRLS!
Legolas: Fangirls?! OMG where?!
Merry: *looks bored* Up your butt.
Arwen: EWWWNESS that's gross! Legolas' butt is SO not the place for fangirls..
Frodo: Actually that's where they want to be..
Aragorn: Bah, no one cares about my butt! My butt is all sexy but do I have fangirls in my butt? No!
Celeborn: Love people! Sweet love, hugs and kisses, Valentines year round!
Pippin: Shut up and let me suffer in silence!
Boromir: Once again I'm left uncared for! My body is in a river and NO ONE CARES!
Legolas: *is looking around for fangirls*
Merry: I'm wearing a red thong
Arwen: H-huh?
Aragorn: W-what?
*stunned silence fills the room*
SFG: OH MY GOSH HE'S CORRUPTED
*pushes everyone out*
Hehe, next chapter soon (