A/N: er…first demon diary fic. I have to plug my site, gates of gehenna. If you wanna submit your fic…*wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

OK…this turned out a lot more like a poem than I intended it to be. I haven't written anything in first person for so long. Er…enjoy.

That idiot. There goes Raenef the Fifth. Big shot demon lord. Stupid twerp. If it weren't for Eclipse, I would pound his nasty little face into the ground.

Eclipse! Help me! I'm hurt!

Eclipse! Erutis is being mean to me again!

Eclipse! Do you love me?

Gods! I've never seen a more dependent moron.

What's Eclipse doing with him anyway? Geez…I'm sorry I'm not overdosing on Prozac of Zoloft or whatever antidepressants they have these days.

What's wrong with me?

Am I not pretty enough?

Am I not feisty enough?

Do I not have enough ditzy tendencies?

Why won't Eclipse even look my way?

I am a swordmaster. What is Raenef? A demon lord wannabe.

I'm the real thing! Look at me, Eclipse!

What don't you like?

Is it because my boobs aren't big enough?

My eyelashes aren't long enough?

My skin not baby soft like Raenef's?

That's okay!

I can change!

I'll be whatever you want me to be!

I'll be everything Raenef is and more!

I'll listen to you! I won't fall asleep at my lessons!

Just please, Eclipse! Look at me! If only a brief glance.

I want you to hold me, like you do with Raenef.

I want you to protect me like you do with Raenef.

I want you to smile at me like you do Raenef.

I wish I was Raenef.

But I'm not. I'm just plain 'ol Erutis. The tomboy. The girl no boy takes a second look at.

I feel hot liquid pouring out my eyes.

I see crimson waves wash over my vision.

My sword lies at my side, covered in dragon blood, or maybe my own blood.

Raenef keels at my side, shouting something frantically.

The pain is intensifying. Gods! My chest throbs.

I am going to die.

Eclipse.

His is standing over me, eclipsing the harsh, burning sun in my eyes. He holds my hand and shakes his head briefly.

The warmth of his being spreads over me

Such bliss.

Is this how it feels to be Raenef?

I would do anything to hold on to Eclipse's hand. But I won't. I know now what it's like to be Raenef.

I would never take that feeling away from him.

It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.