Tracing my fingers along this notebook's parchment worn by pen and tear alike
These late night hours
While stars shine with the wishes of a thousand children
And weeping keeps me from sleeping
I contemplate what was worse
Receiving the gag award to begin with
Or my walk of shame up the aisle still not hearing of the award's name,
Face plastered in the idiotic joy of achievement.
Presenting my red dress
To peers unaware of my existence on any given school day
At the ceremony for the free food
With their hands folded in pray
For me, or for the fact
That the magnitude of embarrassment they felt for the piteous girl in the bloodied dress
Was sin in itself.
To a party I was overdressed for to begin with anyway
As the pool in the background invites me to drown.
If all the world's a stage
And the men and women merely players
With their entrances and exits
Then I think I'd rather be
In the audience
Where Susie Spineless rewardees
Like me
Belong.