Dreamer: Ok readers, I have kinda gotten side tracked from my other
stories, but this came to me one night when I couldn't sleep. The idea
struck me after I wrote a poem for Spike called Wildfire, and yes, that is
where I got my title ;)! I couldn't stop thinking about it so I finally
just decided to write it! This is my take on what could happen to our
beloved Spike after "Real Folk Blues Part 2". I guess I just am too
obsessed to accept that he might be dead :)! Anyway, here is the story...
Disclaimer: Ok, I'm sure you guys have read millions of these from other stories, so to save you from having to read it again... unless you own Cowboy Bebop, you can just skip this and scroll down to the story! : D And for the people who do own Cowboy Bebop... ok, ok... I don't own it!!! Sheesh! Are you happy now?!?
** ** = Flashbacks
' '= thoughts
" "= speaking
* * = lyrics/ poem words
~~~~~~~~~~WILDFIRE~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever wondered... If life really is a dream, then couldn't we make it any way we choose? What if one dreamer decided that the dream, was better than reality... could he not make that dream his reality? And if he did, how many lives could he change, if he awoke, but somehow, someway, managed to return to the dream he chose to make real?
~~~~~Chapter One: Awakening~~~~~
The blood dripped deftly off his trench coat, soaking into the stain on the drenched stairs below him. 'So cold.' He thought vaguely, his mind fogged by the loss of blood and the shock that it was finally over. He closed his mismatched eyes, shivering as the scene played once more before his mechanical eye.
**The blade thrust painfully into his flesh as the shot rang out through the hollow room. Spike gave a cold smirk as Vicious fell, still and silent, to the icy floor. Spike stood cautiously, staring down at his fallen nemesis, the man he had once considered a comrade, a partner, a friend. Vicious' face, once filled with such brutality and hate, was now empty, a lifeless shell, no longer even human. Pain surged through Spike's body and he solemnly moved on, there was nothing left for him here.**
Spike forced the image out of his mind. It was over, done, and he no longer needed to think of it. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. He felt so numb, as if he no longer had a heart to feel, as though it had been ripped out of his chest tossed into the ocean, where he would never see or feel it again. And in a sense, he mused darkly, it had. Spike took in a deep breath, wanting to feel what it was like, even just one more time, to breathe as a free man. He could finally die, let it all end. No more tiger- striped cat and no more dreams. Why did this sound so familiar?
"Spike!" A voice cried out in anguish so real, that he almost brought his head up to look for the source of the sorrow. But he caught himself. No one was there and he knew it. It had been Faye's voice. Faye. He would never see her or Jet or Ed or even Ein again. They were just part of a life that soon would dim and cease to exist. What had he done to them?
They were all he had left, and he had walked out on them, left them alone and empty. He felt a dagger, sharp and fierce, stab into the heart he thought he didn't have. 'Faye' He called out mentally. She was out there somewhere, out in the world with Jet, but even more so in his mind. Already he missed them. 'How pathetic, to think, missing Jet and the shrew woman.' He mused to himself. But his amusement was only a bitter one, because somewhere in the depths of his soul, he knew that he couldn't forget them. An image played over his vision, momentarily dazing him.
**Faye was staring at him, her eyes pleading. Her eyes. A pure, but enticing, emerald green. The one thing that could always bring out emotion from him, whether it was good or bad, he felt something. And now he felt guilt. He had to do something. He gazed deeper into her eyes, they were vulnerable and hurt... so hurt. He suppressed a gasp. He had never seen her eyes like this before, and they cut into him, like the stars cut into the night, as if she could see inside his ravaged and tainted soul. He came within inches of her face, not even realizing as he spoke, in a voice so soft, so gentle that it didn't seem possible that it came from him. "Faye. I'm not going there to die... I'm going there to see if I'm really alive." But he was alive, and he was going there to die. to throw it all away. Tears shimmered in her sea-green eyes, reflecting every speck of life that had every suffered within their depths. And all he wanted, all he really wanted, was to...**
To live. He suddenly realized it as if ice had melted and flooded his soul with emotion and life. He wanted to live. It scared him, it was new and strange, as if he had never felt it before, never wanted to feel before, but that was what he had so abruptly realized. Everything that he had been through with them, the whacky, but captivating crew of the Bebop, everything that he had ever said and done, suddenly hit him with the force of a tidal wave. He wanted, with all his heart and soul, just to live. But not only to live... not just to live... but to live this life, this dream, whatever it was, with his comrades, the people who never seem to give up on or desert him.
He didn't care if it was a dream. to him, it could be real, if he wanted it. And he did. But it was too late, his mind slowly started to fade into blackness, slipping gracefully from his desperate grasp. 'No!' Spike cried mentally, ' NO! I want to live, it's not a dream it's not! It can't be, let me live!' Darkness enveloped him, surging through him, becoming him. He felt his body go numb, and disappear, then his mind shattered into tiny pieces. In the nothing, he saw a pair of eyes staring at him pleadingly, frantically. Green orbs that pierced into his fleeting soul. The last bit of his life dimming, Spike whispered quietly, hopefully, his heart breaking... "Faye." And then he was gone
~~~~~~~~
Drip, Drip, Drip. The soft patter of raindrops falling steadily against the window slowly reached his ringing ears. He silently tried to ignore it. Drip, Drip, Drip. 'Grrr... why not just set off a car alarm next to my head?!?' Spike cursed in his head. Suddenly he jumped up and jerked open his eyes. His vision was slightly blurry and he blinked to clear the sleep from his eyes. Sleep? Where was he?
Spike slowly closed and reopened his eyes, and jolted slightly in shock at what he saw. He was sitting in a room, painted white all around him. There was a soft creamy leather chair a few feet from where he lay. Spike suddenly realized he was crouched in a bed in an apartment... a familiar apartment. Spike cursed quietly and held his head. Where had he seen all this before? Where was he? Spike casually slipped his gaze to the side of his and was startled to see a woman lying next to him. She had long, wavy blond hair, looking like an angel. His eyes widened and he jumped up from the bed and onto the cold floor beneath it. 'Julia' ~~~~~~~
Spike rested reflectively on the ledge of the balcony, his matched eyes staring off into the distant night. That's right... his matched eyes. They were the same color. He sighed, blowing smoke gracefully from his parched lips and flicking the wasted bud over the edge. He had been leaning there, his back against the rough brick wall behind him, since he had awoken in Julia's apartment 2 hours earlier.
Finally he brought his eyes from their stare into nothingness and glanced down at his bare stomach. No sword wound. Nothing, but unaffected skin. He furrowed his brow, knowing that the one conclusion he had come to, was the only one. Everything that he had lived with the Bebop and its crew, all those experiences he knew that he could never forget, never heal from... had just been a dream.
He had awoken in Julia's apartment and after all that deep thought, he had realized that this was the day that Vicious had found them, oh so many years ago. But wait, no, he shook his head in dismay. it wasn't so many years before. It had never happened. At least, not yet. He ran a strong hand through his fluffy green hair, trying in frustration to think clearly and disperse the muggy thoughts from his mind. This couldn't be, but it was.
A silent cry escaped his lips and he rammed his fist against the wall behind him. He couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend how it had happened. Suddenly an angelic voice reached his tortured mind. "It's only a dream." Yes, that was what Julia had told him when she had died, when she had finally put him to his own grave. Or at least, he thought that he was dead inside, but now he knew he hadn't been. But, she hadn't died had she? No, she was sleeping less than 20 feet away from him, perfectly peaceful and sound. It wasn't possible, and yet, it somehow was.
How could it be? That everything he had gone through, all the people he had met, all the emotions he had felt. had been a lie, a hoax. a dream? He had lived three years, dammit, three freaking years that had felt like an entire lifetime after he left the syndicate! How could all of that never have happened? How could all of that, all the people he cared about, be nothing more than a thought from his head while he slept? Pain ripped at him from the inside, attempting with all its might to tear him down. None of it had been real.
The whole time that he had lived that life, that life he cherished so much now that it was gone, he had felt, no he had known, that it was a dream. He had always told himself that, but he didn't really believe it deep down. he just wondered. But he never really intended to wake up from it. After all he had gone through in that 'dream' he had realized as it faded away that he wanted it to be his reality. He wanted to go back and live that life as if it was the only one he had. And now it was gone.
To awake and realize your life never happened. it couldn't be explained. A single tear slid silently down his cheek. He jumped in surprise and lifted a hand to the small, glittering drop of water. Pulling it away, he looked at it in bewilderment and uneasiness. He was Spike Spiegel. he wasn't supposed to cry. His body trembled under the weight that had burdened itself upon him, the weight of all that he had lost and all that he would never find again. Spike closed his eyes. His life was gone, and god how he wanted it back.
Spike lifted his head dejectedly and looked once more upon the city that he had dreamed he left during the night. Suddenly he jerked his eyes toward the horizon as a sudden idea struck him.
'What if.' Spike realized in surprise, ' What if, my life on the Bebop was not a dream, but. a look into what my life could become?' Spike reflected sternly on that thought. His life there, on the Bebop, had been so real, so. special. Sure, the whole time he had been a prick that just couldn't forget the past, but he really did enjoy living then.
A slight smile graced his lips as he thought about living through it all again. But it faded as quickly as it came. He couldn't live that life again. He couldn't put all those people, that as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he cared about, through all the pain and suffering that he did in his dark dream. He remembered with guilt and sorrow the hard times they had all gone through. He had done so much to so many people, affected so many lives that he didn't know if their marks would ever fade from his soul. Vicious, Julia, Jet, Ed, Ein. Faye, wait. Faye?
Spike suddenly jumped to his feet, realizing for the first time in his life exactly where he was going. Quietly opening the balcony window, Spike slipped in and headed through the shadows toward the apartment door. He stopped abruptly, his hand hanging listlessly onto the doorknob. Turning around, he slowly shuffled over to where Julia lay, still sleeping peacefully.
The early morning sunlight danced lightly over her features, making Spike wonder if he was doing the right thing. But then he remembered what that day was, this was the day that Vicious would find them, and his days of lifeless torment would begin. Not anymore. not anymore. After all they had been through together, Spike owed her that much. He owed her a life without the pain of Vicious' torture and the wonder of whether or not she would ever find him again. He owed her that and so much more, but that was all he had the power to give. Spike gently leaned over her and caressed her cheek with his hand. Standing reluctantly and turning his back on her sleeping form, Spike whispered coldly, "Good-bye Julia." And then was gone.
Spike wandered restlessly down the street, heading quickly toward the Sword Fish 2. He came to a brief halt, looking up at it in wonder. All the marks and scars of battles he had memorized in his dream, they were all gone. No, they were never there. Shaking his head and jumping in, Spike remembered what he had once heard Faye explain, to a dog of course, but he had heard it from the bathroom on the Bebop nonetheless. She had been describing the day she had first woke up from being cryogenically frozen. the same day that he had left the syndicate and found the Bebop. In his dream, he left for the Bebop 2 days after Vicious had found him and Julia. In 2 days Faye would wake up and he needed to be there, it was the only way he would ever find his own path. He had 2 days to reach her.
Spike stoically lifted off, narrowing his eyes, and headed toward space. A grin appeared on his handsome face, his eyes alive with emotion. The feeling of helplessness, of not having the ability to have his own life, the life he wanted and live, slowly drained from his tired body and mind. He had options, he had a choice. And her would chose how he lived his life and what life he lived. "Wait for me, Faye," He smirked, thinking of what the shrew woman might have been like before he met her, before she had been hurt and corrupted, " I'm coming for you."
*His eyes dance with hidden pain
He just keeps reaching higher
Until he finds his fallen star
He will live like wildfire*
Note from Me: So how did you guys like it? Please Read and Review! I would really, really love it!!! I'm sorry in the characters were kinda OOC (okay, so there was really only 1 character that this chapter was focused on, but I'm sorry if he was out of character! :D ) but I thought that he might act like this initially.
Oh, for those of you who didn't understand what happened (I know it was kinda confusing. sorry!) basically everything that happened in the Cowboy Bebop series, was just a dream that Spike was having, the night before Vicious would find him and Julia together. He awakens from that dream in this chapter and realizes that maybe he wanted the dream to be reality, and maybe he could spare a lot of pain if he went in search of his own life, the way he wants it. In the end, he is remembering the story that Faye told in "My Funny Valentine" and realizes that whatever happens, he thinks that the only way to change things, is to find Faye, even though he has never actually met her. since it was only a dream.
I think that pretty much sums it up, so I'm almost done annoying you guys with my typing. I want to continue this story, but I don't want to take up your guys' valuable time if you don't want to read it. What do you think? I will try to add the other characters into the story line during the next few chapters if you guys want me to keep going. Should I continue?
See ya Space Cowboy
Disclaimer: Ok, I'm sure you guys have read millions of these from other stories, so to save you from having to read it again... unless you own Cowboy Bebop, you can just skip this and scroll down to the story! : D And for the people who do own Cowboy Bebop... ok, ok... I don't own it!!! Sheesh! Are you happy now?!?
** ** = Flashbacks
' '= thoughts
" "= speaking
* * = lyrics/ poem words
~~~~~~~~~~WILDFIRE~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you ever wondered... If life really is a dream, then couldn't we make it any way we choose? What if one dreamer decided that the dream, was better than reality... could he not make that dream his reality? And if he did, how many lives could he change, if he awoke, but somehow, someway, managed to return to the dream he chose to make real?
~~~~~Chapter One: Awakening~~~~~
The blood dripped deftly off his trench coat, soaking into the stain on the drenched stairs below him. 'So cold.' He thought vaguely, his mind fogged by the loss of blood and the shock that it was finally over. He closed his mismatched eyes, shivering as the scene played once more before his mechanical eye.
**The blade thrust painfully into his flesh as the shot rang out through the hollow room. Spike gave a cold smirk as Vicious fell, still and silent, to the icy floor. Spike stood cautiously, staring down at his fallen nemesis, the man he had once considered a comrade, a partner, a friend. Vicious' face, once filled with such brutality and hate, was now empty, a lifeless shell, no longer even human. Pain surged through Spike's body and he solemnly moved on, there was nothing left for him here.**
Spike forced the image out of his mind. It was over, done, and he no longer needed to think of it. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. He felt so numb, as if he no longer had a heart to feel, as though it had been ripped out of his chest tossed into the ocean, where he would never see or feel it again. And in a sense, he mused darkly, it had. Spike took in a deep breath, wanting to feel what it was like, even just one more time, to breathe as a free man. He could finally die, let it all end. No more tiger- striped cat and no more dreams. Why did this sound so familiar?
"Spike!" A voice cried out in anguish so real, that he almost brought his head up to look for the source of the sorrow. But he caught himself. No one was there and he knew it. It had been Faye's voice. Faye. He would never see her or Jet or Ed or even Ein again. They were just part of a life that soon would dim and cease to exist. What had he done to them?
They were all he had left, and he had walked out on them, left them alone and empty. He felt a dagger, sharp and fierce, stab into the heart he thought he didn't have. 'Faye' He called out mentally. She was out there somewhere, out in the world with Jet, but even more so in his mind. Already he missed them. 'How pathetic, to think, missing Jet and the shrew woman.' He mused to himself. But his amusement was only a bitter one, because somewhere in the depths of his soul, he knew that he couldn't forget them. An image played over his vision, momentarily dazing him.
**Faye was staring at him, her eyes pleading. Her eyes. A pure, but enticing, emerald green. The one thing that could always bring out emotion from him, whether it was good or bad, he felt something. And now he felt guilt. He had to do something. He gazed deeper into her eyes, they were vulnerable and hurt... so hurt. He suppressed a gasp. He had never seen her eyes like this before, and they cut into him, like the stars cut into the night, as if she could see inside his ravaged and tainted soul. He came within inches of her face, not even realizing as he spoke, in a voice so soft, so gentle that it didn't seem possible that it came from him. "Faye. I'm not going there to die... I'm going there to see if I'm really alive." But he was alive, and he was going there to die. to throw it all away. Tears shimmered in her sea-green eyes, reflecting every speck of life that had every suffered within their depths. And all he wanted, all he really wanted, was to...**
To live. He suddenly realized it as if ice had melted and flooded his soul with emotion and life. He wanted to live. It scared him, it was new and strange, as if he had never felt it before, never wanted to feel before, but that was what he had so abruptly realized. Everything that he had been through with them, the whacky, but captivating crew of the Bebop, everything that he had ever said and done, suddenly hit him with the force of a tidal wave. He wanted, with all his heart and soul, just to live. But not only to live... not just to live... but to live this life, this dream, whatever it was, with his comrades, the people who never seem to give up on or desert him.
He didn't care if it was a dream. to him, it could be real, if he wanted it. And he did. But it was too late, his mind slowly started to fade into blackness, slipping gracefully from his desperate grasp. 'No!' Spike cried mentally, ' NO! I want to live, it's not a dream it's not! It can't be, let me live!' Darkness enveloped him, surging through him, becoming him. He felt his body go numb, and disappear, then his mind shattered into tiny pieces. In the nothing, he saw a pair of eyes staring at him pleadingly, frantically. Green orbs that pierced into his fleeting soul. The last bit of his life dimming, Spike whispered quietly, hopefully, his heart breaking... "Faye." And then he was gone
~~~~~~~~
Drip, Drip, Drip. The soft patter of raindrops falling steadily against the window slowly reached his ringing ears. He silently tried to ignore it. Drip, Drip, Drip. 'Grrr... why not just set off a car alarm next to my head?!?' Spike cursed in his head. Suddenly he jumped up and jerked open his eyes. His vision was slightly blurry and he blinked to clear the sleep from his eyes. Sleep? Where was he?
Spike slowly closed and reopened his eyes, and jolted slightly in shock at what he saw. He was sitting in a room, painted white all around him. There was a soft creamy leather chair a few feet from where he lay. Spike suddenly realized he was crouched in a bed in an apartment... a familiar apartment. Spike cursed quietly and held his head. Where had he seen all this before? Where was he? Spike casually slipped his gaze to the side of his and was startled to see a woman lying next to him. She had long, wavy blond hair, looking like an angel. His eyes widened and he jumped up from the bed and onto the cold floor beneath it. 'Julia' ~~~~~~~
Spike rested reflectively on the ledge of the balcony, his matched eyes staring off into the distant night. That's right... his matched eyes. They were the same color. He sighed, blowing smoke gracefully from his parched lips and flicking the wasted bud over the edge. He had been leaning there, his back against the rough brick wall behind him, since he had awoken in Julia's apartment 2 hours earlier.
Finally he brought his eyes from their stare into nothingness and glanced down at his bare stomach. No sword wound. Nothing, but unaffected skin. He furrowed his brow, knowing that the one conclusion he had come to, was the only one. Everything that he had lived with the Bebop and its crew, all those experiences he knew that he could never forget, never heal from... had just been a dream.
He had awoken in Julia's apartment and after all that deep thought, he had realized that this was the day that Vicious had found them, oh so many years ago. But wait, no, he shook his head in dismay. it wasn't so many years before. It had never happened. At least, not yet. He ran a strong hand through his fluffy green hair, trying in frustration to think clearly and disperse the muggy thoughts from his mind. This couldn't be, but it was.
A silent cry escaped his lips and he rammed his fist against the wall behind him. He couldn't understand, couldn't comprehend how it had happened. Suddenly an angelic voice reached his tortured mind. "It's only a dream." Yes, that was what Julia had told him when she had died, when she had finally put him to his own grave. Or at least, he thought that he was dead inside, but now he knew he hadn't been. But, she hadn't died had she? No, she was sleeping less than 20 feet away from him, perfectly peaceful and sound. It wasn't possible, and yet, it somehow was.
How could it be? That everything he had gone through, all the people he had met, all the emotions he had felt. had been a lie, a hoax. a dream? He had lived three years, dammit, three freaking years that had felt like an entire lifetime after he left the syndicate! How could all of that never have happened? How could all of that, all the people he cared about, be nothing more than a thought from his head while he slept? Pain ripped at him from the inside, attempting with all its might to tear him down. None of it had been real.
The whole time that he had lived that life, that life he cherished so much now that it was gone, he had felt, no he had known, that it was a dream. He had always told himself that, but he didn't really believe it deep down. he just wondered. But he never really intended to wake up from it. After all he had gone through in that 'dream' he had realized as it faded away that he wanted it to be his reality. He wanted to go back and live that life as if it was the only one he had. And now it was gone.
To awake and realize your life never happened. it couldn't be explained. A single tear slid silently down his cheek. He jumped in surprise and lifted a hand to the small, glittering drop of water. Pulling it away, he looked at it in bewilderment and uneasiness. He was Spike Spiegel. he wasn't supposed to cry. His body trembled under the weight that had burdened itself upon him, the weight of all that he had lost and all that he would never find again. Spike closed his eyes. His life was gone, and god how he wanted it back.
Spike lifted his head dejectedly and looked once more upon the city that he had dreamed he left during the night. Suddenly he jerked his eyes toward the horizon as a sudden idea struck him.
'What if.' Spike realized in surprise, ' What if, my life on the Bebop was not a dream, but. a look into what my life could become?' Spike reflected sternly on that thought. His life there, on the Bebop, had been so real, so. special. Sure, the whole time he had been a prick that just couldn't forget the past, but he really did enjoy living then.
A slight smile graced his lips as he thought about living through it all again. But it faded as quickly as it came. He couldn't live that life again. He couldn't put all those people, that as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he cared about, through all the pain and suffering that he did in his dark dream. He remembered with guilt and sorrow the hard times they had all gone through. He had done so much to so many people, affected so many lives that he didn't know if their marks would ever fade from his soul. Vicious, Julia, Jet, Ed, Ein. Faye, wait. Faye?
Spike suddenly jumped to his feet, realizing for the first time in his life exactly where he was going. Quietly opening the balcony window, Spike slipped in and headed through the shadows toward the apartment door. He stopped abruptly, his hand hanging listlessly onto the doorknob. Turning around, he slowly shuffled over to where Julia lay, still sleeping peacefully.
The early morning sunlight danced lightly over her features, making Spike wonder if he was doing the right thing. But then he remembered what that day was, this was the day that Vicious would find them, and his days of lifeless torment would begin. Not anymore. not anymore. After all they had been through together, Spike owed her that much. He owed her a life without the pain of Vicious' torture and the wonder of whether or not she would ever find him again. He owed her that and so much more, but that was all he had the power to give. Spike gently leaned over her and caressed her cheek with his hand. Standing reluctantly and turning his back on her sleeping form, Spike whispered coldly, "Good-bye Julia." And then was gone.
Spike wandered restlessly down the street, heading quickly toward the Sword Fish 2. He came to a brief halt, looking up at it in wonder. All the marks and scars of battles he had memorized in his dream, they were all gone. No, they were never there. Shaking his head and jumping in, Spike remembered what he had once heard Faye explain, to a dog of course, but he had heard it from the bathroom on the Bebop nonetheless. She had been describing the day she had first woke up from being cryogenically frozen. the same day that he had left the syndicate and found the Bebop. In his dream, he left for the Bebop 2 days after Vicious had found him and Julia. In 2 days Faye would wake up and he needed to be there, it was the only way he would ever find his own path. He had 2 days to reach her.
Spike stoically lifted off, narrowing his eyes, and headed toward space. A grin appeared on his handsome face, his eyes alive with emotion. The feeling of helplessness, of not having the ability to have his own life, the life he wanted and live, slowly drained from his tired body and mind. He had options, he had a choice. And her would chose how he lived his life and what life he lived. "Wait for me, Faye," He smirked, thinking of what the shrew woman might have been like before he met her, before she had been hurt and corrupted, " I'm coming for you."
*His eyes dance with hidden pain
He just keeps reaching higher
Until he finds his fallen star
He will live like wildfire*
Note from Me: So how did you guys like it? Please Read and Review! I would really, really love it!!! I'm sorry in the characters were kinda OOC (okay, so there was really only 1 character that this chapter was focused on, but I'm sorry if he was out of character! :D ) but I thought that he might act like this initially.
Oh, for those of you who didn't understand what happened (I know it was kinda confusing. sorry!) basically everything that happened in the Cowboy Bebop series, was just a dream that Spike was having, the night before Vicious would find him and Julia together. He awakens from that dream in this chapter and realizes that maybe he wanted the dream to be reality, and maybe he could spare a lot of pain if he went in search of his own life, the way he wants it. In the end, he is remembering the story that Faye told in "My Funny Valentine" and realizes that whatever happens, he thinks that the only way to change things, is to find Faye, even though he has never actually met her. since it was only a dream.
I think that pretty much sums it up, so I'm almost done annoying you guys with my typing. I want to continue this story, but I don't want to take up your guys' valuable time if you don't want to read it. What do you think? I will try to add the other characters into the story line during the next few chapters if you guys want me to keep going. Should I continue?
See ya Space Cowboy