Treehouse of Horror: Naruto style II
A/N: Hey everybody just so you know that thanks to Hildebrant I'm going to be making more Naruto/Simpsons Treehouse of Horror parodies so enjoy.
Iruka: "Ahem. Hello, everyone. Before the last SimpsonXNaruto Halloween fanfic, I warned you not to read it in case you were sencitive. But you did anyway. Mm. Well, this new fic is even worse. It's scarier, more violent, and I think she snuck in some bad language, too. So please, go to bed early... (sighs) Well, if you didn't listen to me last time, you're not going to now. Enjoy the fanfic."
It was a dark and chilly Halloween night in Konoha and our very own Team Seven had just finished their trick-or-treat route and were invited to spend the night at Kakashi's house.
As they stepped inside through the back door (because when they reached the front door it was covered in egg) and turned on the light one could make out their costumes. Naruto was being a shirtless executioner complete with tatered pants, a black head mask with eye holes and a large plastic axe.
Sakura was being a Native American totumpole, who was curently having a hard time keeping her balance seeing as how the costume consisted of three lairs, the first lair was Sakura's main outfit the other two lairs where stacked on top of her head.
And finnally Sasuke was was dressed as the Grim Reaper which concisted of the long black hooded cloke and plastic sythe. Now normally Sasuke wouldn't go trick-or-treating considering the fact that he doesn't like sweets, but Kakashi had promised to teach him a new technique if he went along with it.
Little did Sasuke know was that Kakashi only wanted Sasuke to come trick-or-treating with the team because this year all the senseis had to take their students out for Halloween as a sort of 'fun' D-rank mission and file a report of it and turn it in the following day.
As the kids made their way to the center of the living room to dump out their candy, Sasuke was the first to comment on Sakura's costume.
"Sakura why did you wear that stupid totumpole costume? Even Naruto can tell that its too much of a hassle to travel in."
Sakura blushed at this.
'Sasuke is worrided about me?' Sakura thought that she should reasure her pressious Sasuke that she was alright, not only that but show off her costume to him.
"You've got nothing to worry about Sasuke, you see the totumpoles are conected," she said while unconsiously turning her back to Sasuke. This giving Sasuke a great idea.
"The only thing I have to worry about is falling. You see if I fall then it will be too much of a hassle to get up-"
But at that moment, Sasuke reached out his hand and gave Sakura a slight push which started to send her falling.
"Whoa--wha WHAAAAAAAA!!" screamed Sakura as she fell to the ground, face first, with a loud 'flop'.
"HA HAHA HA HAAHAHA HAHA!!!" Sasuke laughed at his own cruel act/revenge on Sakura.
At that moment Kakashi-sensei arrived inside (who had spent the whole small ordeal cleaning up his front door) and began to hang up is coat.
"Now kids you can have one piece of candy tonight and save the rest for--"
Just as Kakashi turned around he saw the kids currently shoveling candy into their mouths, even Sasuke, (who had just become addicted to the sugery treats after Naruto suffed a marshmellow in his mouth) as if it were going to disappearing.
"If you eat too much you'll have nightmares." said Kakashi in a warning tone of voice.
"Oh yeah, everybody who eats candy is going to have a bad dream tonight, ha!" said Sasuke mockingly while while chewing on a piece of taffy.
"Oh yeah, three bad nightmares!" Sakura said also in sarcassim while eating two candy bars at once.
"I like to see that! Heh heh heh heh heh!" mocked Naruto while opening a pack of gum.
Right at that moment thunder roared from outside, slightly scaring the three kids.
(Time Jump: Sakura's room)
Sakura had just finished eating a candy bar when she turned off her light and went to sleep, completly ignoring the candy wrappers on her bed covers.
(Dream starts)
Team Seven was sent to the Rain village to complete a mission involving trade agreements. When they had finished they decided to look around the village; only to see that it was nothing but one big poverted market place.
"What a dump! Why would Princess Koyuki live in a place like this?" asked Naruto.
"Naruto, that's Snow country." said Sakura in annoyance.
"Damn!" grunted Naruto.
As they continued to look at the sights they came across a contortionist, who was bending his body in different directions and ended up looking like a pretzel. When he couldn't unbend himself he walked away on his ears.
"I could do that, but I don't wanna." stated Sasuke.
At a market, Naruto began browsing when he saw something very interesting; in a desturbing kind of way. He picked up what looked like the hand of a monkey, but instead of having five fingers it had four.
"Ew! What the heck is this thing?" asked the curiose blond while holding up the hand a distance away from himself. At that moment the shop owner stepped out of the shadows.
"It is a monkey's paw dating back to King Nonocomon, it has the power to grant wishes to it's owner."
"Really? How much?" asked Naruto with interest.
"Sir I must strongly advise you do not perchase this item, for every wish will bring great misfortune. I myself was once Mizukage--"
"Come on pal I don't want to hear your life stories, paw me!" yelled Naruto.
Back in the center of the market, Kakashi was taking a picture of Sasuke and Sakura, who were sitting on top of a camal. When he turned around he saw Naruto coming towards him carrying the monkey's paw. He looked at it in disgust.
"Ew, Naruto, where did you get that ugly thing?"
"Why, at that little shop right over..." When Naruto turned to point out the shop, all that was there was a gust of wind.
"...there." Naruto gasped. But when he turned around he noticed that he looked the wrong way; and that the shop was on the left side.
"Oh, no, wait it was over there." he said while pointing to the correct direction. The shop keeper was waving at him.
"You'll be sari!" he cried out.
Back in Konoha Team Seven was having a meeting in there usual training spot; trying to figure out what to do with the paw. The team was sitting in a circle on the grass with the paw in the center.
"What should we do with it?" asked Sasuke while staring at it.
"I think we should wish for world peace!" stated Sakura.
"Forget it Sakura! It's my paw so I get to decide what to wish for!" said Naruto.
"Naruto, theres something I don't like about that severed hand." said Kakashi rather nervously.
"Oh stop being so nervous sensei! That monky's paw is gonna make our dreams come true!" replied Naruto reasuringly.
While Naruto and Kakashi were talking, nether of them noticed Sasuke reaching for the paw. The Uchiha avenger stared at it for a moment before lowering his face to it and began whispering his wish. When he finished, the pinky finger of the paw went down; indecating that the wish was granted. This image is what Team Seven saw when they turned around.
"Oh no, Sasuke made a wish!" exclaimed Sakura.
"What?! What did you wish for?!" asked Naruto, who was both surprised and pived that Sasuke beat him to the first wish.
"You'll see." said Sasuke with a smirk plastered on his fase.
Five seconds passed before the team got there answer.
"EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT! ITACHI UCHIHA WAS FOUND DEAD IN THE FOREST OF DEATH TODAY! READ ALL ABOUT IT!" came the cry of the paper boy, who was running around the training grounds.
All of Team Seven was staring at Sasuke in disbelif.
"You didn't." said Kakashi in shock.
"I did." replied Sasuke with that same smirk. "This paw has served it's purpose, I don't need it anymore." With that said Sasuke tossed the paw to the grownd. Naruto reached down and grabbed it in frustrasion.
"Okay, no more fooling around! Paw, this is Naruto Uzumaki! I wish for Team Seven to be rich and famous!" he stated.
"Now your using you're head for once dobe." stated Sasuke.
The insult went unnoticed for Naruto was too busy watching the second finger on the paw go down, the next thing Team Seven knew they were surrounded by piles of money.
"YAY!!" cried the two happy boys when they noticed themselves covered in money.
"WOOHOO!" cried Kakashi in delight as his wallet began to over fill with the green delight.
"Look guys! My purse exploded!" exclaimed Sakura while holding a butt load of money in her arms.
"Come on team, we're going to the fanciest restaurant in the village!" exclaimed Kakashi throwing the bills in the air.
The team made their way to The Golden Pearl, Konoha's most fanciest and by far expencive restaurant.
"I'm sorry but we have no tables left for you're kind of social status." said the maitre d' as he turned away a family. As he turned around he noticed Team Seven walking towards him. He gasped in shock.
"Team Seven! Right this way please." he said as he lead them to their're table.
"Naruto, maybe fame and fourtune aren't as bad as they say." said Sakura in saticfaction. Unfortunatly for them, there was a group of people who didn't take to kindly to the famous team.
"If I hear one more thing about Team Seven, I swear, I'm going to scream." said a women from a higher social statuse.
"At first they were cute and funny, but now there just annoying." said a woman to the first woman and her husband.
The sentiment is echoed around the village as our Favorite Ninja Squad becomes heavily merchandised.
"Eighteen bucks for this?! What a rip off!" exclaimed an angry department store costomer as he threw away a Naruto T-shirt with said ninja on it saying "Belive It!"
--
At a record store a new CD was launched featuring Sasuke and Sakura. One of the songs being sung as a sample was 'Bring Me To Life'
Sasuke: "Wake me up!"
Sakura: "Wake me up inside!"
Sasuke: "I can't wake up!"
Sakura: "Wake me up inside!"
Sasuke: "Save me!"
Sakura: "Call my name and save me from the dark!"
"Man this thing is really getting out of hand!" complained a costomer.
--
Outside there was a bill board advertising for mamograms. On the cover was Naruto along side a doctor who was saying "Get a Mamogram! Belive It!"
"Is there anything they won't do?!" complained a woman who saw the bill board.
--
The next day, back in Team Seven's usual training ground the team became fully aware of the way the villagers were glaring at them.
"Naruto this is terrible." stated Kakashi.
"Come to think of it, the guy that sold me this thing did say the wishes would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful." said Naruto cluelessly.
Sakura then picked up the paw.
"I wish for world peace." she said and the thumb of the paw went down.
"Sakura, that was very selfish of you!" Sasuke yelled in her face.
--
At a conference in Konoha, the Leaf Village and the Cloud Village where having a discusion.
"Sorry about trying to kidnap the Hyuuga heiress." said the Cloud Village representative.
"Oh don't worry, it was probably their fault for not going to the ceremony" replied the Leaf Village representative while pulling the Cloud representative into a brotherly hug.
Through out the five countries, weapons are being destroyed and changes are being made. For example the building were countries have their conferences was being turned into a mall. Children were begining to plant trees and floweres. One girl even changed the sign from 'DANGER' to 'GARDEN'.
All five contries joined hands, froming a giant peace sign across the contries and began singing
Come along people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now
--
As the five contries contined in their brotherly bondage they were being watched by an unknow horror.
"Foolish humans." said the first alien from the space ship hovering over the earth to his partner.
"Oh yes Cronus, and now earth is right for the taking." said the other alien while rubbing his hands together. Both aliens broke into laughter.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
--
The mother ship containing the aliens lands in the village square. The two aliens come out wilding a slingshot and a club.
"People of earth! We come to you in the spirit of hostility and menace!" anounced Cronus while flexing his slingshot.
"Now lets be reasonable," said the Third Hokage while aproching the aliens. "We can resolve our differences peacefully."
Jorell silenced him by bonking him on the head with the club.
BONK
"Ouch!"
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!" said Cronus as two more ships landed in the village.
"They're conking us with a club! Wished we saved an katana or two." said Izumo.
"Move along humans!" said Jorell as he and Cronus as they marched a group of ninjas into town.
"This is all Team Seven's fault!" exclaimed a women in anger.
"Before I was just board with their antics and their merchandise, now I wish they were dead." said a man menacingly.
--
The next day Team Seven was having their daily meeting in their usual training ground. Sasuke was reading the newspaper; the article read "Aliens inslave human race!"
"Jeezs now were're slaves! This paw sucks!" cried Sasuke in anger.
"You didn't think it was so sucky when you used it to kill your brother!" exclaimed Sakura, upset at the fact that her wish didn't turn out right.
"Yeah but know I have to worry about the alien fan girls stalking me." as if on cue a group of teenage girl aliens were standing ten feet away from the training grounds, making kissy faces at Sasuke.
"Theres one more wish left, here Kakashi sensei you take it." said Naruto holding up the paw to said man. Kakashi stepped back and put his hands up in defence.
"Oh no Naruto, I don't want it. That paw has caused nothing but trouble!"
"Fine, then I'll make the last wish. I wish I know that can't backfire." Naruto lifts the paw up so it leveled with his head.
"I wish for a bowl of miso ramen, with peas, carrots, and chesse, and, and I don't want any zombie ramen, I don't want to turn into ramen myself, and I don't want any weird surprises. You got it?"
The monkey's paw closes it's finger in understanding as a bowl of ramen materializes.
"Hey!" exclaims Naruto as he makes a grab at the bowl and starts eating it.
"Not bad. Nice, hot peas. Good broth. The noddles are a little dry--" Naruto freezes in realization.
"The noddles are a little dry! Naruto lifts the paw over his head and begins cursing it. "Oh, foe, the cursed teeth! What demon from the depths of hell created thee!"
"Give me that!" shouted Kakashi as he snatched the paw away from Naruto and begins walking away.
"Where are you going sensei?" asked Sakura.
"I'm throwing this paw out!" exclaimed Kakashi as he continued to walk away.
--
As Kakashi made his way into the village square he began to throw the paw into the local dumpster, that is until Guy came passing by.
"Hello Kakashi my eternal rival slash fellow slave!" Guy took notice of the paw in Kakashi's hand.
"Hey is that once of those monkey's paw thing that lets you wish for stuff?" he asked.
"Yeah, but I gotta warn you this thing brings--" at that moment Kakashi got an evil thougth in his head, smiling an evil smile from behind his mask.
"I mean yes. Why don't you give it a shot? Heh heh." said Kakashi as he handed the paw to Guy. Guy took the paw oblivious to Kakashi's obvious decite. As soon as Guy took the paw all the fingers went up; indication of a new owner.
"Oh would you look at that!" exclaimed Guy in amazment. At that moment the two men heard a distant scream.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" screamed Kotetsu as he ran away from Cronus the alien.
"Kneel before my slingshot puny earthling!" yelled Cronus flinging small rocks at the helpless ninja. Guy turned back to the paw.
"Well, I guess my first wish is to get rid of those awful aliens." the pinky finger goes down indicating the wish has been granted. Almost immidiantly Cronus began running away in fear.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! HE'S GOT A BOARD WITH A NAIL IN IT!!" screamed Cronus while running away from his previous prey.
"INSLAVE HUMANITY WILL YAH!!" screamed Kotetsu as he chased Cronus, whilding said board with a nail over his head.
"Run Cronus!" cried Jorell as he and Cronus made their way to there ship and took off, the other ships following them.
"Well Jorell, it seems the earthling have won." said Cronus in defeat. Jorell began to go into a pusdo speech.
"Did they? That board with a nail may have defeated us. But the humans won't stop there. They'll make bigger boards and bigger nails, soon they will make a board with a nails so big, it will distroy them all!"
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
--
Back on earth the villagers cheer and carry Guy on their sholders, the females toss flowers all around.
"Hey Kakashi, this little thing a mijiger really works great!" exclaimed Guy in pure bliss as the villagers put him down and makes his way towards his house.
"Now that I have saved the world maybe I'll fix up the house!" with that said Guy goes inside and before everybodies eyes it changes into a giant castle.
Poor Kakashi had his arms crossed over his chest and grumbled.
"I wish I had a monkey's paw..."
(Dream ends)