AN: Help. I've fallen into the black hole of a Carmilla College AU.

AND DON'T ASK ME HOW MANY WIPS I HAVE. COLLEGE IS STRESSFULL.

I also have no clue how Twitter works, so forgive me.

Disclaimer: I am sadly not Ellen Simpson and Jordan Hall.

Title: Sunnydale Syndrome

Word Count: 567

Summary: The four times when some really weird things happened at Silas University, and the one time everything collapsed.

i.

"What we look for in our applicants," the woman in the powder blue suit said, "is a strong sense of workmanship, a history of voluntary and community work, have a Level Five Psychic Block—"

"I'm sorry, but what?" asked one of the parents that was scribbling down what she was saying. "What was the last one?"

The administrator smiled fully, quickly revealing sharpened teeth that were serrated like a shark's, before closing her lips into a funny thin line. "A history of volunteer work."

"No," the father said. "You said something about—" He suddenly stopped speaking, his eyes bulging from their sockets. His notebook and pen clattered to the stone floor as he squeezed his throat, gasping for air. He collapsed to the floor, dead, and no further questions were asked.

ii.

ALCHEMY CLUB

WANT TO BREAK THE LAWS OF PHYSICS? CREATE GOLD FROM LEAD? MASTER THE MYSTIC ARTS?

THEN JOIN US!

FAUST BUILDING, ROOM 118

MONDAYS AND FRIDAYS WHEN THE MOON'S SHADOW TURNS GOLD, AND THE CROW SINGS ITS LAST SONG

(NINE O'CLOCK)

(SUCK IT, CHEMISTRY CLUB. WE HAVE MORE MEMBERS THAN YOU)

NEW MEMBERS WELCOME!

PLEASE BRING A COPY OF YOUR LATEST HEALTH INSURANCE AND A PAIR OF SAFETY GOOGLES WHEN ATTENDING THE FIRST MEETING

iii.

REV 401 - Introduction to Necromancy, the Study of Resurrection and Renewal

Credits: 4:00

Providing students a revived course on controlling and maintaining the undead, this course will engage students in their lab intensive semester. They will be studying the rise and fall of famous necromancers in history—Circe, Koschei, and Kemmler — and learning from them during their lectures. Students will be exploring this course in various ways through their projects and practical exams. No prerequisites or previous experience required.

iv.

The swirling vortex of papery and fiery doom was unexpectedly unleashed in the archive of the library.

"New plan!" LaFontaine shrieked. They clutched Lauren's shoulders tightly from behind. Their hands were lacerated with thin cuts and had a fresh burn on their left thumb, a thumbdrive dangled from the other. "Holy fracking Thermodynamics! We need a new plan!"

Lauren screamed and started to blindly bat the bits of burning pages away from her face. "I—have—none!" Stands of her fine hair swirled around her head, dancing with the sparks, the ends glowing with embers. She screamed louder and dropped her aerosol can.

And then everything went white. Foam and the horrible smell of burned hair and priceless books filled the air. Danny and Lola appeared with fire extinguishers in their hands, bravely taking down the fire and antiqued pages.

"Hang in there, Lauren!" Danny shouted. "We're coming!"

"If you die, Suzanne," Lola screamed as the roar of the fire settled into something more dull, "then I will be very unhappy! Do you hear me?"

v.

S. LaFontaine LaFilphormes • Nov 26

Man, what a semester. Right, guys?

#guesswhosgonnalistentomyangryrantsnow? #suckitcreeepyballoflight #nomoreeyeballsinsoup #ohohohoh #stayinalinestayinalive

S. LaFontaine LaFilphormes • Nov 28

Memorial more like #memoriNO

S. LaFontaine LaFilphormes • Dec 28

Even without the creepy orb of whatever, they're still not listening to me

#seriously

S. LaFontaine LaFilphormes • Dec 1

Anyone felt that?

#weeeeeeiiiiirrrddd #sciencehelpmenow

Silas University SilasUniversity • Dec 2

We regret to inform you that Silas University had experienced an unexpected weakness in the infrastructure all throughout campus. Classes may not resume after the break. We at Silas University wish for you to have a happy and healthy extended vacation.