This storyline came to me today as I was doing dishes...yeah, I know, my creativity comes out at the most unusual times. I also want all my readers to know that I AM going to be finishing a lot of my old stories now that I'm back to writing again so stay posted and if you have a story you want me to get working on again, let me know and I'll make it a priority.
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The sound of that gunshot was still ringing in Carol's ears as the silent procession made their way down the stairs, through the halls and out the doors of Grady Memorial Hospital, their eyes blank with shock or filled with tears of grief. The walk seemed to be going in slow motion and the edges of Carol's vision seemed to keep going in and out of focus, causing the walls on either side her to feel surreal and unstable.
Beth is gone. It had happened so suddenly that Carol still wasn't sure exactly what went down back there. What had Beth been thinking? Why didn't she just walk away?
Would you have just walked away?
Carol wasn't quite sure how to answer that. Noah meant nothing to her, he was expendable but Beth was one of their own.
The sound of Maggie's devastated scream brought Carol's mind back to reality, back to the horror of the world as it was now...without Beth. Maggie was on the ground, her face twisted in anguish as tears flooded down her cheeks and onto the pavement and Carol swallowed thickly as she watched Daryl carry the small, lifeless body of their ray of sunshine towards her broken sister. Carol hated that Daryl had to be the one to do that, she had seen him nearly break back there as he knelt down to pick her up off the blood soaked floor, but she knew that it was something he felt he had to do for Beth.
Glenn finally snapped out of it and knelt down next to his wife, pulling her close in his arms and letting her bury her face into his chest to block out the horrifying sight of her little sister's blood slowly dripping out of the gaping hole in her skull to the ends of her blonde hair and down onto Daryl's boot.
Carol hadn't thought for one second that both she and Beth would be leaving that hospital alive, but she had maintained the thought that it would be herself who wasn't leaving, and she had been prepared for that, so when Rick struck the deal and both she and Beth were safe behind their leader it had been a pleasant surprise and she had allowed herself to hope for a moment that maybe it was all going to be alright for once.
What a foolish thing to do.
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Carol winced as she sat down by the fire next to Tara, whom she was now tent mates with. She had been a bit leery at first when Tara told her she had been part of The Governor's group that attacked and destroyed the prison, but her explanation was so genuine and her eyes were so full of regret that Carol felt her heart squeeze uncomfortably in pity for the poor girl. Tara was a lesbian and Carol actually found it kind of refreshing, she added an interesting factor to the group with her tomboy attitude and her awkward fist bum attempts. When Carol had returned said fist bump, it had sealed the deal on their friendship, she was the first one to return the gesture with a smile and some gusto instead of an awkward light knuckle knock.
"You still sore?" Tara asked.
Carol just gave her a look that clearly stated "Thank you, Captain Obvious" and held her ribs tight for a moment while her body adjusted to the new position.
"It's gonna take a while to be back to my old self," Carol admitted through gritted teeth.
Tara just looked at her with pity and when back to roasting her frog on a stick over the flames.
Oh, yummy. Carol eyed the pile of frogs with distaste but her stomach growled so loudly that Carl looked up at her in shock from across the fire. Pickings were scarce lately, mainly because their main provider of wild game was down for the count.
Daryl had shut down after Grady, his eyes were either blank or filled with rage all day, every day and he rarely spoke to anyone anymore, even Rick had a hard time getting more than a few short words out of him. Daryl Dixon was hurting and Carol wanted nothing more than to make him feel better...but sometimes it just takes time.
To be honest, she'd tried to approach him a few times only to be grunted at and left standing alone as he stalked off into the forest. The only thing he'd said to her since the hospital was "Be back soon" when he was going hunting once...but he had returned empty handed and Carol swore his eyes were red and swollen from crying, but he kept his head down and his dark hair kept his face in shadows so she couldn't confirm it.
Beth's death had left a hole in the group, that was for certain, but Daryl, Rick, and Maggie were hit the hardest. Maggie because she'd lost her sister, Rick because he knew he should have stopped her, and Daryl because he felt responsible for losing her in the first place.
Carol pulled her stick away from the fire and gave her frog an experimental squeeze, it was hot and firm and the skin was crispy. She was about to bite into the leg of it when she noticed that Daryl wasn't in the group around the fire.
"Where is Daryl?" she whispered to Tara. Tara looked around and finally pointed at the top of the rock wall they had sheltered behind, he was sitting up there keeping watch in the moonlight. Carol wanted to give him her frog but standing on her own was nearly impossible and she didn't want anyone hovering while she spoke to Daryl, their conversations weren't for everyone to hear.
"I can give it to him," Tara offered, offering Carol a knowing look as she reached out for the frog. Carol smiled genuinely at the young woman and gave the frog to her, watching as she walked to the wall and softly called to Daryl who looked down and accepted the frog with a nod. Tara pointed back at the fire and Daryl's eyes flicked over to meet Carol's and she quickly looked away.
"He said thank you," Tara informed her upon her return as she sat back down in the dirt and continued roasting her own frog. Carol nodded and began roasting a new frog for herself, her eyes focused on the ever changing flames of the fire, lost in thought.
They had lost so many people over time, T-Dog and Lori and Andrea and Hershel, so why was this so hard? What was it about Beth that her death had so deeply affected the group unlike any other loss before? Sure, she was sad about the loss of Beth, but it was nothing like the pain of losing her daughter or T-Dog or Lori. She wanted to ask Daryl, but she knew she would only sound insensitive and cold.
"Did you know Beth well?" Tara's soft voice interrupted Carol's wandering mind and she snapped back to the present.
"Not as well as some, but well enough," Carol replied, pulling back her frog when she realized it had burned slightly as her mind had wandered. "She was good with the children, a natural nurturer. She loved to sing. She had a sense of acceptance about the world and it never seemed to get her down. She was kind and soft spoken. She was strong, but she wasn't always logical...I think that was her downfall."
"Why do you think that?" Tara asked, her eyes wide.
Carol felt a lump in her throat as the scene played over again in her mind: Beth's defiant eyes as she walked slowly up to Dawn and looked her in the eye, her soft yet bold statement of "I get it now" and her brazen attempt at hurting Dawn...and the sudden sound of a gunshot that resulted in Beth's brains exploding out the back of her skull, staining her blonde hair red. Carol still wasn't sure what she had meant by "she got it now" and why she had thought stabbing Dawn with tiny scissors was a good idea...she figured Beth was just tired of the shit.
"Because I honestly don't see any reason why she did what she did," Carol replied quietly, "We all could have walked out of there."
"Not Noah," Tara reminded her gently.
"No..."Carol agreed, her eyes wandered over to where Noah sat, chin on his knees as he gazed out into the darkness of the woods. "But I can't tell yet if he was worth losing her."
Tara was silent for a while and then she sighed.
"I'm sure I wasn't worth losing your people at the prison," she said sadly, "But you all took me in and treated me like one of your own. This wasn't Noah's fault and he is suffering too, don't forget that. He's just a kid."
Carol looked at Tara and sized her up. Maybe there was more to this girl than met the eyes, she had a gentle strength about her that Carol suddenly found herself admiring.
"You're right, Tara," she admitted, "He's one of us now. He's a tough kid from what I saw of him and I think he's going to be fine. You ready for bed?"
Tara looked down sadly at her frog that she had stripped every bit of meat from, her stomach growled but she nodded.
"Yeah," she sighed, "Not getting anything more off these bones anyway. Maybe Daryl will get some squirrels tomorrow."
Carol doubted it. Daryl's hunting skills were not top notch lately and winter was coming on fast, game was getting scarce. But there was no point in adding to the morbid atmosphere so she nodded and smiled up at Tara who had stood and was stretching her back.
"You're right, Tara," she said as chipper as she could as Tara helped her to stand, "Tomorrow is always a new day. Maybe tomorrow we'll get it right."
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Here's the start. This is going to be a Caryl fic and will stray from any known storyline out there that I know of...but I promise it'll be all kinds of good :)