The Cool Chicks: by Preston J. Richardson.
The season is summer, and the place is New York City. It was such a beautiful morning. The people crowd and the city is loud, and everybody is in a hurry to get to their workplaces on time so that they're not being late. The cars, cabs, busses, trains, and subways are doing okay as well. And around New York City, there's a police station called "The New York Police Department where all the policemen, and policewomen do their business to make sure there is no crime in the city. One of the women in that business lived a very beautiful, pretty, attractive, sexy, strong, and hot looking as well, and she's in her twenties with olive skin, high cheekbones, long beautiful hair, and a beautiful voice. She is Irish, Filipino, and Mexican. Her name is Eliza Alvarez, and she's a secret agent detective in New York City. She's in her office right now doing a bunch of paperwork. Plus, she happens to work alone, and she likes it this way. After she was done with her paperwork, she decided to rest a bit, that is until she had a speaker call from the commissioner on her speaker. So she answered it right away.
Eliza Alvarez: Yes, Commisioner!
The commisioner's voice: Detective Eliza Alvarez. I need you to come down into my office right away. This is very urgent.
Eliza: Yes, sir. Right away.
So Eliza leaves her office to head down to the commisioner's office first off, walking pass the computer room saying good morning to her friends. First, a guy named Tim said good morning to Eliza. And Eliza said good morning back to Tim. Then a woman named Sarah said good morning to Eliza. Then Eliza said good morning back to Sarah as she kept walking by. Then one of her very best friends of all, another beautiful woman with high cheekbones as well named Willona Fox also said good morning to Eliza. Then Eliza said good morning back to her friend Willona. Then Willona had something to say to Eliza before Eliza starts taking off to the commisioner's office.
Willona: Oh, Eliza.
Eliza: What's up, Willona?
Willona: Are you planning on going to this AC/DC concert this Friday night?
Eliza: Oh yeah. I've already got my ticket in advance. So I'm ready.
Willona: Me too. I just can't wait. I'm dying to see AC/DC live here in New York City again.
Eliza: Well listen, I have to head down to the commisioner's office right away to see what he wants. So I'll talk to you real soon. Okay, Willona?
Willona: Okay, Eliza. You take care.
Eliza: You too, dear.
And Eliza went on her way out the halls, to the elevators. She pressed the down floor, the signal rang, the elevator doors opened up, and she went in. After she made it to the first floor, she went out of the elevator, headed straight to the commisioner's office just straight ahead, opened the door, and she went in the office to see the commissioner. The commissioner is a black older man, in his late sixties, dressed up in a gray suit, and a black tie. His name is Commissioner David William Gibson. He also has an assistant that helps him and he's especially a black man, the same age as Commissioner David Gibson's, but sadly, he's getting ready to retire soon. His name is Preston Jones. So Eliza went to the office to see the commissioner.
Eliza: Good morning, Commissioner Gibson. You wanted to see me. Right?
Commissioner Gibson: Good morning, Eliza. Yes I do.
Eliza: What's up?
Commissioner Gibson: You've been around the police force as a secret agent detective for quite about a year. Right?
Eliza: Yes, sir.
Commissioner Gibson: And after all, you have been working very hard trying to keep the big apple safe and sound for everybody so that no crime waves are happening around here.
Eliza: (smiling.) Yes, sir. Too hard, I'd say.
Commissioner Gibson: And of course, you remember my assistant of the police force Preston Jones?
Eliza: Yeah, I remember Preston Jones! I haven't seen him for so long! How's he doing?
Commissioner Gibson: He's doing pretty well, thanks for asking.
Eliza: No problem. But where has he been all his life? He hasn't been around the police force to help me out again lately.
Commissioner Gibson: He was on vacation with his family for five weeks to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and he had a great time over there.
Eliza: Is he back now?
Commissioner Gibson: Yes, my dear, he's back, but only for a little while.
Eliza: Why a little while, sir?
Commissioner Gibson: Well, in about three weeks from now, He's going to retire.
Eliza: But I like Preston Jones. I like it when he helps me whenever I need it. Sometimes he helps me get all the criminals that do wrong and stuff, sometimes he doesn't because mostly, I've been taking care of this whole big city all by myself with help from no one, not even him.
Commissioner Gibson: And you always do a fine job at it, Eliza.
Eliza: (laughs.) I know. Heheheheheheheheh!
Commissioner Gibson: In fact, I'll get him over here for you. Is that alright?
Eliza: That's fine, sir.
So Commissioner Gibson used his speaker to get Preston Jones up front to see Eliza right away.
Commissioner Gibson: Hey Preston?
Preston Jones: (on the speaker.) Yeah.
Commissioner Gibson: Could you come up front to the office for a moment please? Detective Eliza Alvarez wants to see you.
Preston: (on the speaker.) I'm on my way.
Eliza: Boy, am I sure gonna miss Preston Jones after all he's taught me when I first came here.
Commissioner Gibson: We're all going to miss him, Eliza. Believe you me, it just won't be the same without him.
So another old black man who is the assistant to the commissioner was none other than Preston Jones came to the office with a big smile on his face to see Detective Eliza Alvarez, and Eliza smiled at her right back.
Eliza: Hey there, Mr. Jones! I missed you!
Preston Jones: Hello, Eliza. I missed you too. How have you been?
Eliza: I'm fine thanks. I hear that you're gonna retire in about three weeks from now.
Preston: Yes, Eliza. I'm retiring from the NYPD. It's obvious that I've been in the police force for fifty five years. And since I'm getting old, it's time for me to quit this business, take it easy, and keep in touch with my family of course and see how they're doing.
Eliza: Wow, that happens to be a lot of years you've been working here. Have you?
Preston: Yes it has. But before, or even after I leave this police business, you'll be having a new female partner who happens to be a little bit younger than you because she's taking up criminal justice in college.
Eliza: Criminal Justice?! Well, I don't know, you guys. You see, I happen to work alone, and I like working alone. I don't know if I'm even ready for a partner at this point.
Commissioner Gibson: Eliza, this woman would make a fine detective partner for you. She's smart, brave, strong, and very beautiful looking too, just like you are. And she's also Hispanic.
Eliza: Is she Mexican?
Preston: No, she's Puerto Rican. She's also part Irish, and part English.
Eliza: She must have a British accent on herself. Right?
Commissioner Gibson: Nope. She's got an American accent just like all of us here in the USA. She was born here in the states.
Eliza: And what's her name?
Preston: We're just getting to that, Eliza. Her name is Charlene Marie Melendez.
Eliza: Charlene Marie Melendez? That's a very odd name for a Hispanic.
Commissioner Gibson: It maybe an odd name at first, Eliza. But you'll get use to it when she comes here. And she's from Chicago, Illinois.
Preston: Yes, the Hispanic side of Chicago.
Eliza: I'm sorry, you guys, but I don't do Chicago. I only do New York and New York only.
Preston: But you'll like her a lot, Eliza. She's extremely cool once you get to know her. And I'm sure she'll get to know you too.
Eliza: Well, okay. But I can't promise that I'll get along with her. But we'll try to make a great team. When does she come in?
Preston: She comes in tomorrow morning.
Eliza: Tomorrow morning?! That's too soon!
Commissioner Gibson: Look, Eliza, I'm sure you two will make a great team. You'll may think she's a screw up at first. But once you two start working together, you both will become good partners, and great friends.
Eliza: Hmm! I doubt it.
Then Eliza leaves Commissioner Gibson's office very unhappy because she'll be having a new partner tomorrow.
Preston: (to Commissioner Gibson.) David, was it something that we said? She doesn't look a bit too happy about this partner thing with the new girl tomorrow.
Commissioner Gibson: (to Preston.) Aw, she'll get over it, Preston. She'll get use to Charlene. I have faith in Eliza.
Eliza went back to the elevators up to the computer room back to her office, until Willona Fox her best friend was worried about Eliza's angry look. So Willona asked Eliza what's the matter.
Willona: What's wrong, Eliza?
Eliza: I'm getting a new stupid partner by the name of this Puerto Rican chica by the name of Charlene Melendez who happens to be still in college studying criminal justice?! This is insane to me, Willona! I don't work with college students! They mess up everything big time in the big leagues! What am I going to do?! I can't have a college girl be my partner! It doesn't work that way!
Willona: Take it easy, Eliza. It's not all really that bad to have a partner with you. At least she's studying criminal justice at her school. And I'm sure she'll make a great cop just like you.
Eliza: Yeah? Well what if she starts to mess up in this business? It would be my ass!
Willona: Don't worry so much about it, Honey. You'll make it with her. All you have to do is just show her the ropes of being a detective, explain to her what she needs to do, and what not to do, how to fight crooks, and other nasty people like that. We all serve and protect together. And I'm obviously sure she'll remember that as well. What does she look like?
Eliza: I don't know. I haven't even met nor seen her face yet. She'll be coming here tomorrow morning. I swear to God, Willona. This does not quote well.
Willona: Eliza, breathe. You're intense right now. And it's not good for your body. Just give her time to learn things like this tomorrow once you show her the ropes. It took you a long time to learn this stuff too when you first got started, including me, and everybody else who first got started here. Now we're all good.
Eliza: Well the only problem with this picture, Willona, is this! She happens to be from the windy city in another state! And I've told Commissioner Gibson and preston Jones "I don't do the windy city! I only do the big apple!" I don't think I want to be partners ever with this Charlene what's her face! She's gonna screw it all up! I just knew it! And when she does, then I'll be out of a job as a detective forever while this dumb college Puerto Rican girl from Chicago Charlene gets all the credit, and I won't work in the police force anymore!
Willona: Now Eliza, you're intense again. I can see that from you. Did you take your medicine this morning?
Eliza: Yes, Willona. I took my medicine this morning.
Willona: Then you really need to calm down. Okay? It's not good for you to blow your top like that. I'm sure this girl Charlene won't be such a bad partner for you once you two work together tomorrow. You'll be alright. I promise.
Eliza: Thank you, Willona. You're always there for me whenever I need you the most.
Willona: Anytime, sweets.
Eliza: (looks at her watch.) Oh, it's time for me to take my fifteen minute break! Hey, thank you for your advice, Willona.
Willona: Have a ggod break, Eliza.
So Eliza heads down to the elevators again, and straight to the NYPD breakroom where there's three vendor machines. One is coffee, another is cold drinks, and one more is donuts. Three other police officers in regular blue uniforms were first in the break room eating donuts, and drinking coffee. Their names are Fred, Kyle, and Mitchell. They saw Eliza walk inside the break room, and they said hello to her.
The three policemen: Hello, Eliza.
Eliza: Hello, fellows. What's new?
Fred: Nothing at all too much. Same old shit day and night like always.
Mitchell: Us too, Eliza. What's new with you?
Eliza: Well, I don't know how to tell you guys this, but I'm getting a new partner tomorrow, only she's a college student.
The three men: A college student?!
Eliza: Yes, a college student. I don't know how I can handle working with a college student as my partner. This is ridiculous.
Fred: Well, just show her the best you can the way you do it.
Mitchell: And once you show her all the steps, I'm practically sure she'll get it right the first time. Just have faith in her, just like the boss has faith in us when we first did it.
Eliza: Prehaps you guys are right. And I think Willona's right too. Maybe I should have some faith in her when she comes in tomorrow morning.
Kyle: There you go, Eliza. That's the spirit! Once you show her the moves and stuff, you two are gonna be alright.
Eliza: Well I sure hope so. Because I sure don't want to lose my job either because of some college student.
Kyle: Is it a male or a female, Eliza?
Eliza: It's a female. A Puerto Rican one. Her name is Charlene Melendez. And she's from Chicago.
Mitchell: But she'll get use to New York City. After you're done teaching her the stuff here, you can even show her around the city.
Eliza: Well, I might as well take a deep breath before I start to get myself worked up over this Chcago Puerto Rican college girl when I see her tomorrow.
Fred: Yeah, there you go. Just give her some time to learn the police work here. And most important, Eliza, always be cool about it. You don't want to lose your temper on her too much. This is her first day, you know.
Eliza: Thanks, guys. I really needed that.
The men: Anytime, Eliza. Good luck.
Soon, it was five o'clock in the afternoon. Time for Eliza to close her office, lock it up, and head for home. As she walks pass the computer room, she says goodbye to everybody including her best friend Willona Fox.
Eliza: Good bye, everybody. See you all tomorrow.
Everybody: Good bye, Eliza.
Willona: Whoa, wait a minute, Eliza! You're going home already? What time is it?
Eliza: It's two minutes after five, Willona. That means I have to lock up my office and head for home.
Willona: (looked at her watch.) Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot. You do go home at this time. (Laughs.) I didn't realize what time it was until now. What are you doing tonight?
Eliza: Well I have a dinner date downtown with my boyfriend Jose at this Mexican restaurant called "El Gato's." We're gonna be there in about 8:00pm.
Willona: Well you two have fun tonight, and I will see you tomorrow.
The next morning at 8:00am, another beautiful, and very pretty woman walked over to the New York Police Department for her very first time to do police work. She's very attractive, sexy, with olive/bronze/ caramel/super tanned skin, also high cheekbones, long brown/brunette hair, a beautiful voice, and with a great big smile on her face a lot, plus, she's very positive about everything and never negative. Her name is Charlene Melendez; an Irish, British, and mostly Puerto Rican Chicago native who's still in college in New York City taking criminal justice. She walked in the police station, went straight over to Commissioner Gibson's office, knocked on his door so that she can see him.
Commissioner Gibson: (heard the knock on his door.) Come in!
So Charlene opened the door, walked in the office with a great big smile still on her face, and said good morning to Commissioner Gibson.
Charlene: Good morning. Are you Commissioner David William Gibson?
Commissioner Gibson: Why yes I am. And you must be the beautiful Charlene Melendez from Chicago.
Charlene: (laughs.) You got it, dude. I'm here to see Detective Eliza Alvarez. (She pulls out her new New York City badge.) I'm her new partner as a detective too.
Commissioner Gibson: Yes, of course. We've just been expecting you to be here today, and so has Eliza. Welcome aboard, Charlene.
Charlene: (shook hands with Commissioner Gibson.) thank you, sir. I'm happy to be here. Wow! This building is huge!
Commissioner Gibson: It's been huge for many years, Charlene.
Charlene: Well, just to caution all of you, I'm still learning criminal justice at college. So I still have many ways to go. But at least I'm a fast learner, and very strong. I'm also very smart.
Commissioner Gibson: Of course you are. But don't worry about still learning in school. Eliza Alvarez will teach you everything of how to be a great and wonderful detective just like her.
Charlene: Where is Eliza anyway?
Commissioner Gibson: Just take the elevator up to the fourth floor, pass the computer room, and her office is straight ahead in front of you. The door will say Detective Eliza Alvarez. You can't miss it.
Charlene: Thank you, Commissioner Gibson.
Commissioner Gibson: You're welcome. Good luck.
Then Charlene walks out of the Commissioner's office, takes the elevators up to the fourth floor, walks pass the computer room, and sees Eliza's office straight ahead. Meanwhile, Eliza was checking up a lot of stuff around New York City on her own computer she brought with her to see if there's anything urgent she needs to check out, until she heard a knock on her office door.
Eliza: (looking up from her computer.) Come in.
Then Charlene opened the door, walked in with a great big smile on her face, then introduced herself to Eliza for she's her new police partner as a new detective.
Charlene: Good morning. Are you Detective Eliza Alvarez?
Eliza: Yeah! I'm her! Who are you? And what about it, huh?!
Charlene: Hi, I'm Charlene Melendez! I'm your new partner! And I can hardly wait for you to teach me all the ropes of how I can become a great detective just like you.
Eliza: You're sick! You know that, do ya?!
Charlene: (confused.) What do you mean by that?
Eliza: Your smile is starting to get on my nerves! And may I remind you here that this is serious police work we do around here! Okay?! This is the real deal! So if you ever want to participate into this business, you must learn the exact proper ways of how to be a detective! Still interested, Miss Cheekbones?!
Charlene: More than ever, Eliza.
Eliza: Well I'm gonna work you hard! So you had better pay close attention to what I'm teaching you!
Charlene: I'm all ears, dear.
Eliza: Also, this is not neither high school, nor college either! Like I said, this is the big leagues! Now first of all, we need to show finger prints. It's a good thing that I brought my papers and printing ink here in my office.
Charlene: (checking out Eliza's high cheekbones.) You know, Eliza, you've got great cheekbones too, just like mine.
Eliza: (snapped at Charlene.) Never mind my cheekbones like yours! Okay?! Just make with your finger prints here!
Charlene: Boy, you sure enough are grouchy. Aren't you?
Eliza: (pointing the print, ink, and papers to Charlene.) Hey!
Charlene: (worried.) Okay! Okay! I'll do my finger printing!
And quickly, Charlene puts her right two fingers on the ink, and then puts them on the blank paper. And that was it.
Charlene: How's that, Eliza? Did I do alright?
Eliza: (checking them out.) Hmmm. Not bad. Now it's my turn.
Then Eliza does her finger printing as well on the ink and paper.
Charlene: (checked out Eliza's finger prints.) Wow! I can't believe it!
Eliza: Believe it or not, dear. I've been around the police business for a year.
Charlene: Okay, Eliza. Now what's next?
Eliza: Next, we're gonna be working on some shooting skills, but not here in this office because I don't have any of this up here. So that means, we have to go to the second floor when there's a practice room just on the first door to the left.
Charlene: Awesome!
Eliza: Come with me to the elevators so that I can show you.
Charlene: Alright.
So Elisa and Charlene left the office to head straight to the elevators to the second floor to the practice room.
Charlene: Wow! What a huge computer room with so many people on their computers. I can't wait to get my own computer one of these days.
Then Charlene stops for a while to meet another smiling beauty also with high cheekbones as well. And it's none other than Eliza's best friend Willona Fox.
Charlene: (to Willona.) Good morning, miss. You sure have such a gorgeous smile on your face.
Willona: (to Charlene.) Oh, why thank you! You do too.
Charlene: Thank you. I'm Charlene Melendez. What's your name?
Willona: Willona Fox.
The two girls both shook hands with each other.
Charlene: Nice to meet you, Willona.
Willona: You too, Charlene.
Eliza was getting impatient with Charlene. So she grabs her by the back of her blouse, and raves at her.
Eliza: LET'S GO, WILL YA?! COME ON!
Charlene: (annoyed.) Okay!
Willona: (to Charlene and Eliza.) Good bye, ladies!
Then Eliza and Charlene went to the elevators to the second floor to practice room on the left of the hallway. They went inside the practice room where other trainees are learning how to shoot, fight crooks, and all other important stuff that a cop should do and know.
Eliza: Here we are in the practice room. This is the room where other people are learning how to stop criminals, shoot, fight, and all other important stuff everybody should know to be a cop.
Charlene: Cool! It's a huge room too. I've never seen such a practice room in here before in my life. This is amazing!
Eliza: (angry.) Will you stop acting like a damn cartoon character and pay attention for God's sake?!
Charlene: Oh, sure, Eliza. I'm sorry. But I just couldn't help myself on my first day, you know.
Eliza: Oh boy, you're impossible. (She points to Charlene at the target practice section on the left.) Look over there. This is the target shooting department. (They both walk over there closer.) In this practice, you need to know how to shoot bad criminals like each and everyone of them shown in the seven targets. Now watch me. I'm picking up one of the guns from here, aiming straight to the criminal on the target, and shooting him like this.
And Eliza shoots the target directly at the paper criminal shown on the target three times.
Charlene: Damn, that was awesome!
Elisa: (gives Charlene the gun.) Now it's your turn. And you better remember what I've just shown you.
So Charlene takes aim, looks directly at the criminal on the target, and fires three times at the criminal on the target. And Charlene was so surprised that she actually did that.
Charlene: Man! I can't believe I actually did that! (She laughs and slaps her left thigh on her leg.) This is so cool! I can't wait to tell everybody back at school this fall, and tell them that I'm a real detective!
Elisa: Excuse me, Honey! But there is still a whole lot more where that came from! So you're not there quite yet!
Charlene: You mean there's more?
Eliza: Yes, lots more! This way with me. I want to show you something else.
Charlene: Alright.
They both walk to the right of the room to fight, and arrest criminals with stuffed criminal dummies.
Eliza: Now over here, these are stuffed criminal dummies. You need to know how to fight, and arrest criminals with these dummies in order to fight real criminals with these dummies in order to fight real criminals whenever they start to break the laws here in this city. But be warned, all criminals are very dangerous just like these dummies you see here. They're very movable, and they can knock you right down the floor if you didn't fight them right. Watch me.
Then Eliza went up to a dummy close by them, started fighting it with punches, karate, and all sorts of stunts being alert at all times so that the movable dummy doesn't hit her.
Charlene: Oh my God, how impressive!
Eliza: Now you try it.
Charlene: You bet I will, Eliza. Besides, I used to take karate lessons back when I was in junior high, and I still know how to fight.
Eliza: (annoyed.) JUST DO IT!
Charlene: Alright already!
So Charlene went up to the dummy, started fighting it real good almost like Jackie Chan fight his bad guys. After that, she handcuffs it and says to the dummy "You're under arrest on suspension of committing crimes.
Eliza: (to herself about Charlene.) What a showoff, and a loon at the same time.
Charlene: So how was that, Eliza? Did I do okay this time?
Eliza: (pretending to praise Charlene.) You couldn't do better, my sweets.
Charlene: Alright! Now what's next?
Eliza: We need to go outside for a moment. I'm gonna show you how to watch over the whole city to see if there's a lot of things that are either urgent, or if this is a real emergency.
Charlene: Excellent! I can enjoy some fresh air outdoors as long as we're working as cops.
The girls leave the practice room back to the elevators to the first floor on their way out the doors to look for any urgent crimewaves, or real emergencies. That is until that day while the girls are outside away from the station for a while, an old seventy five year old woman cried for help because some mean man stole her purse with a one million dollar check inside there.
The old woman: HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY STOP THAT CRAZY MAN!
The girls rushed right over to the old woman, pulled out their badges, and asked her what happened.
Eliza: (to the old woman.) We're police officers at your service, madam. What just happened?
Charlene: We've came here just in time for you, ma'am.
The old woman: Some mean man stole my purse with a one million dollar check inside that I just won at a casino last night! (She finally saw the guy with the purse.) And there he is now!
Charlene: (spotted the guy as well.) There he is! I'll stop him for you guys!
But before Charlene was going to get the guy from stealing the old woman's purse, Eliza pulled Charlene back and said this to her.
Eliza: (to Charlene.) No! I'll get the guy! You stay here and watch the old lady until I get back!
Charlene: (to Eliza.) Why do you always want to get him and I can't?!
Eliza: Because I'm the best cop around here, that's why! I've been here for a year! Now stay here and watch the woman!
Then Eliza takes off to chase that guy that stolen her purse.
Charlene: Boy, I never get a chance to chase criminals like Eliza. How come she always have to get all the breaks?
The old woman: (to Charlene.) You'll get your chance, my dear. I promise. I have faith in you.
Charlene: Thank you, Miss.
The old woman: (smiling.) You're welcome.
But meanwhile, Eliza started chasing that guy from block to block trying to stop him to get the old woman's purse back.
Eliza: (to the man.) HALT, IN THE NAME OF THE LAW! HALT, I SAY!
The mean man: HEY, BEAT IT, YOU LITTLE FEMALE LATINA FREAK!
Eliza started ganging on him. So she jumped up, grabbed the man, handcuffed him, and took the old lady's purse away from him.
Eliza: You will be locked up behind bars for what you did here, pal!
The man: Hey, what is this?! You can't do that! I want that million dollars here!
Eliza: It does not belong to you! It belongs to that old lady in her seventies that you took from her! Let's go, buddy! You're under arrest!
So Eliza brought the man in, and brought the purse back to the old lady.
The old woman: (to Eliza.) Oh, thank you so much, Officer, for catching that man, and bringing my purse back.
Eliza: It's all in a day's work, ma'am.
The old woman: (to the man.) You ought to be ashamed to yourself, you young whimper snapper! Just what the hell do you come off stealing my purse like that, you worm?! (Then she bashes him in the head with her cane real good and hard.) TAKE THAT!
The man: OW!
Eliza: (to the man.) Let's go, Buster! (And to Charlene.) You too, beautiful!
Charlene: Right.
Then Eliza and Charlene went back to the police station, put the man who stole the woman's purse in jail, went to Commissioner Gibson's office, then they both told him what happened.
Eliza: Commissioner Gibson, some creepy man had just stolen an old lady's purse which has a million dollar check from a casino which she was on her way to the bank to deposit it.
Charlene: But now he's in-
Eliza: (snapped at Charlene again.) Let me speak to the Commissioner, for crying out loud!
Charlene: Gee wiz, Eliza! You won't let me talk to him!
Eliza: (to Commissioner Gibson.) So anyway, that guy is sentence to prison for life. He won't ever steal things like this again.
Charlene: (to Commissioner Gibson.) So that case is close
Commissioner Gibson: Well, I'm very proud of you ladies.
Eliza and Charlene: Thank you, sir.
Commissioner Gibson: You're both welcome. So do you ladies think you can work together as a team?
Eliza: I don't know, sir.
Charlene: Of course we will! What do you think, Eliza?
Eliza: (confused.) Oh boy.
Commissioner Gibson: Good! If you ladies want to right now, you both can go back outside and check around the city again and see if there's any more crime waves, and urgent emergencies out there.
Charlene: You want us to do that right now, sir?
Eliza pinches Charlene's left arm trying to get her to be quiet.
Charlene: OW!
Eliza: (to Commissioner Gibson.) We'll do it sir. Or at least I'll do the rest of it.
Commissioner Gibson: Go for it, ladies.
The girls went back outside again to solve more crimes, and more urgent emergencies. They tried to work together as a team as detectives, but Eliza does not want to be any part of Charlene's partnership at all because she's from Chicago, and Eliza is from right here in New York City. So Eliza feels that Charlene is different from the others, and she thought it's time they go their separate ways.
Charlene: Say Eliza, aren't you and I glad that we can be partners, working together as a team solving crimes, clues, and helping everybody else in need?
Eliza: Look, don't give me anymore of your crazy bullshit, alright?!
Charlene: What do you mean, Eliza?
Eliza: Look, you're from the Goddamn windy city, and I'm from right here in the big apple! We don't fit in with each other at all! You're different from everybody here in New York, and everywhere around the world! And that's bad!
Charlene: What?!
Eliza: You heard me! From now on, you need to go your own way, and I'll go my way! I was never into this partner thing with anybody, especially you! Now if you don't mind, Missy, LEAVE ME ALONE! And don't ever follow me around either! If you do, you're dead!
Then Eliza took off on Charlene saying she doesn't want to have nothing to do with her ever again. So while Charlene had her head right down to the ground feeling sorry for herself, Eliza walked along in the streets without Charlene to check out crime waves and emergencies herself. And Eliza did a crime wave by herself! She saw two female teenage bullies picking on a poor nine year old little girl on her way home from a playground. So Eliza rushed up there and talked to those two teenage girls about that mess.
Eliza: Hey ladies. This little girl does not like being picked on like that. Okay? She was having a good time by herself on the swings and slides. Now she wants to go home with her parents. So either you two leave her alone this instant, or I will report this to both of your parents, and they'll probably be yelling at the two of you. Now, don't you both owe that little girl an apology?
The two teenage ladies: Yes, Officer.
So the two teenage ladies go straight to the nine year old little girl and apologize for what they did to her.
The two teenage girls: (to the little girl.) We're sorry for what we've did to you. We won't bother you like that ever again.
The little girl: (to the teenage girls.) It's okay. Besides, we all have our bad days.
The teenage girls: Yes. Absolutely.
Then the two teenage girls take off and head for home themselves. Then Eliza talked to the little girl for a while.
Eliza: Are you okay, sweetheart?
The little girl: I am now. Thank you.
Eliza: You're welcome. Say, what's your name?
The little girl: I'm Daphny.
Eliza: Hi, Daphny. I'm Detective Eliza Annette Alvarez.
Daphny: (shook hands with Eliza.) Nice to meet you.
Eliza: Nice to meet you too. Those two teenage ladies didn't give you any grief and stuff, did they?
Daphny: Well, sort of when they came over to me when I was minding my own business.
Eliza: Well I took care of them for you so they won't bother you anymore. So if anybody else starts to threaten you with rotten nonsense like this, or if you're ever in a jam by bad people, (She gives one of her business cards to Daphny.) Here is my business card with all of my information. So whenever you're in trouble, just give me a call. Okay?
Daphny: Gee, thanks, lady!
And Daphny starts taking off running all the way home happy.
Eliza: You're welcome!
And Eliza continues walking along the streets of New York City to see if there's anymore emergencies like that.
But meanwhile still alone by herself as just a beginner detective without Eliza, Charlene heard a little boy's cry for help, and it was right near by her too. So Charlene rushed over to that neighborhood, and another lady was standing by a big tree trying to get her grandson down from there, but she couldn't do it because the tree was too high for her. So Charlene went over real fast and asked the lady what happened.
Charlene: What's going on, Miss?
The lady: Oh, Officer, you've got to help us! My grandson Ben was just trying to save his cat from up that big tree! We've got the cat here in my hands, but Ben is up there and I can barely catch him! Please help us quick!
Charlene: Don't worry, ma'am. I'll catch him for you.
The lady: Oh, bless your wonderful heart, young woman.
But even Eliza heard the boy too. So she went up there as quick as she can and already saw Charlene taking care of this first. And Eliza was very furious because Charlene has got this rescue that Eliza wanted to take.
Charlene: (to Ben, the boy.) Alright, son, listen to me. Just jump off from there, and I'll catch you. Okay?
Ben: I CAN'T! I CAN'T DO THIS!
Charlene: Yes you can. Just let go, and I'll catch you.
Ben: BUT I CAN'T HOLD ON ANY LONGER, NOR LET GO! I'M GONNA GET KILLED!
Charlene: No you won't. Okay? Trust me. Just let go, and I'll catch you.
Ben: (lets go from the tree.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
And Charlene caught the boy right on time before he ever hit the ground.
Charlene: I've got you, son. I've got you.
The lady: Oh thank goodness.
So Charlene puts the boy down to the ground safe and sound.
Charlene: Your grandson is okay, ma'am.
The lady: Oh, thank you so much, my dear. Thank you.
Ben: Yeah. Thanks, miss.
Charlene: You're both quite welcome. (To Ben.) And kid, try to stay out of trouble like that next time. Okay? From now on, let an adult get over and get your cat.
Ben: (smiling.) I will. I most definitely will. Thanks a lot, lady!
Charlene: (smiling.) You're welcome, son!
Then Charlene walks off and waves goodbye to Ben and his grandmother, and they both wave goodbye back to Charlene. But Eliza was really frustrated at what Charlene did for both Ben and his grandmother. So she went "OOH!" Then she walked off from them as well, all upset and angry at both Charlene and herself. But meanwhile, Ben and his grandmother started chatting for a while about what a very good job Charlene did for them, and then headed back to their house.
Ben: Gee, Grandma, that lady seems very nice, and looks very pretty too. I would like to have a nice girl like her when I grow up.
The lady Oh, of course you would, Ben. And someday you'll find someone like that.
Meanwhile, Eliza took a cab back to the New York Police Department. When she arrived back there, got out of the cab, and paid the driver the money, she said thank you to him with a smile on her face. The cab driver took off, Eliza went back inside the police station, but she didn't smile too long when she walked in the building. She still was too mad after what Charlene did. So she took the elevator up to the fourth floor, walked pass the computer room to head back to her office. But meanwhile at Eliza's office, Charlene Melendez had her own flattop she just recently bought with her money. She was minding her own business humming an easy listening tune that she likes called "If I only have eyes for you" with a smile on her face checking out a lot of cute, and handsome guys on the computer because she doesn't have a boyfriend yet. One of the cute guys on the computer winked an eye at Charlene, and she just laughed. But suddenly, Eliza opened the office door real quick and fast, and started raving at Charlene.
Eliza: HEY YOU! DUMMY!
Charlene: (turned around and got very annoyed with Eliza.) Hey, what's your problem, huh, Eliza?! And just who do you think you're calling a dummy?! My name is Charlene, alright?! Charlene Melendez!
Eliza: (pointed at Charlene.) You did all your police work ALL WRONG!
Charlene: (got up out of her chair and stood up to Eliza.) What are you talking about?! All I did was saved that little boy's life from a very bad situation for his grandmother's sake! Besides, that kid would've gotten killed up there in that big tree all by himself with nobody to catch him because his grandmother couldn't do it! She was too short! Oh, by the way, Eliza, I really don't like your tone of voice at me at all! You and I are supposed to be a team, not break up from each other like that the way you want it because it's all disrespectful, very very mean, and extremely uncalled for! This is becoming a big turn off!
Eliza: YOU! YOU'VE JUST STOLEN AN IDEA THAT I ALREADY HAVE GOT, YOU LITTLE SLINKY PUERTO RICAN WHORE!
Charlene: (slapped Eliza's face hard for calling her that!) YOU DON'T EVER CALL ME A PUERTO RICAN WHORE, YOU MEXICAN SKANK!
Eliza: (slapped Charlene right back hard across her face.) FUCK YOU! AND HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A MEXICAN SKANK, YOU TITO PUENTE SLUT!
Then the two girls started slapping each other's faces again the second time, and started getting into the huge crossover catfight, pulling hairs, scratching, pushing each other, kicking everything down inside the office. Eliza swung Charlene to her china, broke it all, and swore at her with rage!
Eliza: GODDAMMIT!
And Eliza slapped Charlene left and right real good and hard across her face. Then Charlene punched Eliza across her stomach, then punched her in the face. And after Eliza fell to the ground, Charlene jumped up on Eliza by letting out a yell! Then the two girls continued catfighting each other still knocking everything down. Then Charlene swung Eliza to her drinking water machine with white plastic cups, knocked it down, got Eliza's face all wet with the big jug of water, then Charlene picked up Eliza and slapped her real good and hard across her face. Then Eliza threw Charlene over to the closet doors. Then she rushed over to Charlene, and the girls continued catfighting each other again.
Then suddenly, Commissioner Gibson came to their office and he saw the two Hispanic girls fighting each other. So the Commissioner rushed over there and separated the two girls from fighting.
Commissioner Gibson: Hey! Hey! Break it up! Break it up! Both of y'all, break it up! There's no need for this, ladies!
Charlene: JUST LET ME AT THAT BITCH, COMMISSIONER GIBSON!
Eliza: NO, LET ME AT HER! SHE'S THE ONE WHO CAME IN ON MY TIME!
Charlene: OOH, I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR DADGUM ASS FOR THIS, YOU SMARTYPANTS!
Eliza: YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A BIG CRY BABY, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! I'M THE BEST!
Charlene: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!
Eliza: AND YOU'RE A SELFISH LITTLE BRAT!
Charlene: HEY, EAT MY SHORTS!
Eliza: KISS MY ASS!
Charlene: GO TO HELL!
Eliza: BITE ME!
Commissioner Gibson: (to the girls.) I SAID CUT OUT THIS SHIT NOW!
And Commissioner Gibson started slapping the two girls real good and hard across their faces just to stop the fight real quick, and started yelling at them.
Commissioner Gibson: NOW JUST WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO FIGHTING ABOUT?! WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?!
Charlene: (pointing at Eliza.) WELL SHE STARTED IT FIRST!
Eliza: (pointing at Charlene.) NO, SIR! SHE STARTED IT FIRST!
Charlene: Well first of all, Eliza, you haven't any business of calling me a little slinky Puerto Rican whole, also a Tito Puente slut, and even a dummy as well!
Eliza: And you, bitch, have no right calling me a Mexican skank! Plus, you just took an idea I once had first of saving that boy from that tree into this police business! That's why you did it all wrong! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, YOU BOOB?!
Charlene: WHY YOU ROTTEN, SNOTTY, GOO FOR NOTHING-
Commissioner Gibson: CHILL OUT, BOTH OF Y'ALL! Now first off, I am getting sick and tired of you two ladies fighting against one another, calling each other, calling each other names, criticizing, underestimating, yelling, and screaming at each other like you're yahoos, and telling each other who's the best cop in the world who knows how to serve and protect the most just to impress those gorgeous and handsome guys you girls like the most! So either you two in the courtesy to start working together as a team as detectives, and start getting along with each other real soon, or you both will be out of the police force for good! Do I make myself clear?! Think it over, ladies!
Eliza & Charlene: (calmly and sadly.) Yes, sir.
And the Commissioner walked out on their lives after he was done talking to them. Then the girls started looking at each other with very angry looks, then called each other names again, but this time, a little softer and lower.
Eliza: (to Charlene.) You slut!
Charlene: (to Eliza.) You bitch!
Commissioner Gibson: (turned around at the girls again.) Hey, I heard that!
Then Commissioner Gibson walked out of their office and left the girls by themselves, while the girls continued looking at each other still with angry looks talking nasty to each other.
Eliza: For your information, Miss Cheekbones, I've already got a boyfriend, and you don't! So there!
Charlene: I don't give a shit about your Goddamn crummy boyfriend, Eliza! There happens to be plenty of fish here I can find anytime I want!
Suddenly, it was Friday night, Downtown New York City was packed with a whole lot of people at Radio City Music Hall waiting to see AC/DC live in concert in there. Another cab driver stopped his car to Radio City Music Hall, Eliza Annette Alvarez, Willona Fox, and their friend Sarah Fiorentino from the computer room at the New York Police Department also with olive skin, high cheekbones, long beautiful hair, pretty deep low voice, also beautiful, pretty, attractive, sexy, but a short Italian woman, but very cute, all came out of the to get in line like other people to catch AC/DC live. So they all said "Thank you" to the cab driver with big smiles on their faces.
The cab driver: You girls have a great time at the concert. Alright?
Eliza: We will. Thank you, sir.
And Eliza closed the cab driver's car door, and the cab driver drove away. Then the girls walked together to get in line like the other AC/DC fans did.
Willona: Wow! I can't believe this whole line is packed with people, Eliza. Everybody's waiting to see the show.
Eliza: Yeah, you're telling me, Willona. Everybody's waiting in line to see this show, including us because we love them to death.
Sarah: I hope we get first front row seats so that we can get up close and personal to see them as if we're feeling them with their touch.
Eliza: Yeah. In fact, it would be a totally way cool oppritunity if we sat up front really close to the band. I wonder what weird things they'll do this time on the show.
Willona: I don't know. We're just gonna have to find out when we get inside the building.
Sarah: Oh yeah, I'm with you two on that.
And the three girlfriends started laughing, chatting with each other about going up front and close with AC/DC while waiting in line like the others. Then suddenly, a ticket man with a beard, and a moustache started collecting the tickets from everybody so that they can get ready to see AC/DC live in concert at Radio City Music Hall. Then Eliza, Willona, and Sarah made it to the ticket booth to give the man their tickets.
The ticket man: (to the ladies.) Hey, you ladies made it just in time. The show hasn't started yet, the band is just getting ready backstage. So they shall be coming out real shortly.
Eliza: Wow, how about that, ladies! We did make it on time!
Willona & Sarah: Yeah!
And the girls walked straight over to the auditorium where there's a whole lot of seats down the front, and up in the balcony.
The ticket man: ( to the girls.) You ladies have a good night! Alright?
And many other people walked in the auditorium as well to see this show. Finally, Eliza, Willona, and Sarah got front row seat to the stage to see the band up front and close. And they were all so very happy that they did that before anyone else tried to.
Eliza: See, ladies! What did I tell you! We finally got front row seats real closer to the stage to catch them up front personal!
Soon, everybody got a seat as well, upstairs, downstairs, and the balcony. The whole place is now packed with people getting ready to see AC/DC live.
Sarah: I think the show is getting ready to start, you guys.
Willona: Yes, I believe so too. They're dimming the lights here, and setting the stage lights on.
Eliza: Well, ladies, this is it.
So the show is getting ready to start, and a speaker says this to the audience.
The speaker: Hello, New York City! Are you all ready to rock'n'roll?!
Everybody: YEAH!
The speaker: Well here they are! Live in person, AC/DC!
And the band starts playing one of their grammy award winning songs called "For those about to rock," and everybody gets out of their seats rooting for them because they love them.
Then Charlene came over to Radio City Music Hall to see AC/DC as well by walking over there a little later. The line was all empty so she was the last to go in there to see the show. When she walked in, first off, she asked the ticket man how much is it to see the show.
Charlene: (to the ticket man.) Excuse me, sir. How much for the tickets to AC/DC?
The ticket man: Eighteen bucks.
Charlene: (pulled out her gold American Express credit card to give it to him.) Her you go, sir. My American Express card.
The ticket man: Ah yes, don't leave home without it. (He laughs.) Hehehehehehehe!
And Charlene laughed with him while the man charges the card on the machine, the prints come out on the paper, the man takes it out of the machine, then gives it to Charlene for her to sign on the dotted line.
The ticket man: Okay. Sign here please, my dear.
Charlene: (smiling.) Thank you.
Then Charlene signs the autograph on the paper, gives it back to the man, and the man gives Charlene her credit card back. And Charlene was on her way to take a seat to see AC/DC.
The ticket man: (to Charlene smiling.) You have yourself a great night! You hear?
Charlene: (smiling back.) You too!
Then Charlene went to the auditorium looking for a seat while the band was already playing. Meanwhile, Eliza, Willona, and Sarah started singing along with the band while they were up front and close to them. One of the wild guys in the band started taking off his shirt for all the ladies to show off his sexy chest. All the girls got so turned on with that, they all started screaming, and rooting for that guy. Eliza, Willona, and Sarah got turned on with that too that the three beautiful girls slapped each one of their own cheekbones real good and hard across their faces and grunted "UNH," and another time again grunting "UNH" as their heads were tilted on their left sides.
Willona: These guys are such hotties! I want to do hot sex with one of them, including that one guy who just showed his hot chest for us!
Eliza: I told you this concert is something else! You didn't quite believe me, didn't you?!
Sarah: Damn, I'm with you guys right there!
All three girls: (still rooting for the band.) YEAH!
Then meanwhile up on the balcony in separate seats by themselves, there stood a twenty two year old black woman who is very mean, snotty, and extremely self centered and dangerous as well because she's a criminal, crook, thief, drug dealer, and never cares about anything, nor anybody but herself. She keeps thinking that she's all gorgeous, pretty, attractive, sexy, smart, and just about everything that a hot guy desires in a woman like her, but she's really not anywhere of being close to being those type of things. She's really ugly, fat, trashy, loud mouthed, cruel, too picky about certain things and people, and just plain grumpy and grouchy all in one. That's why she's a dangerous, and very selfish criminal and drug dealer. She's also a picky music listener, movie, and television watcher. Plus, she kills lonely and tender hearted people for fun because she hates them all, and only likes the perfect, hot, and gorgeous people that are real famous and popular, even with weapons carried with them. Her name is Nafisa Khoner, along with her sweet and handsome younger stepbrother named Lamar Dawkins who is just not into that kind of filthy, disgusting, and very nasty stuff that his stepsister Nafisa is always into all the time.
What's even worse than that, Nafisa does not want Lamar to go to college ever again, nor stay close to any of his friends, nor make any new ones, neither is he to talk to any girls that he sees, likes, and even wants to meet ever! Because Nafisa wants to marry his own stepbrother Lamar, wants Lamar to marry her right back just to join her stupid criminal drug addict gang, rape him, do him, do him a lot of nasty harm, and Lamar is just not into those crummy, disgusting, and very bad and evil things at all that Nafisa and her gang get into all the time. All of that kind of stuff makes Lamar very sick to his stomach all the time. He doesn't even like rap music as much because he knows that type of noise from those disgusting rappers are just plain filthy, nasty, too violent, too sexual, and just completely irrationally irritating, and hurting to him, and he wants out of those drug addicts' lives right now so that he can go back to college in the fall again, get an education, spend time with his friends again, and can spend time with a real beautiful, sweet, nice, positive, open minded, down to earth, and all around outgoing way cool girl he really wants to come into his life, and his mean older stepsister is not one of them. In fact, he happens to be the same age as Charlene Melendez for Charlene is very nice. During the AC/DC concert, Nafisa and Lamar were up in the balcony watching the band as well.
Lamar was really enjoying himself having himself a ball watching the band play, but Nafisa didn't care for any of this at all. So she said to both herself and Lamar this crummy lie.
Nafisa: Aw man, I tell you right now, this is the most worse shit these damn losers listen to all these times on the radio in certain radio stations! Man, I don't like any of this oldies but goodies classic rock shit these stupid folks are playing on that stage, that includes all of the 1980's jive! This is all some cold shit! (To Lamar.) Let's go.
Now Nafisa may have left the show so early because she didn't like any of AC/DC's music, nor the band, but her stepbrother Lamar stuck around, enjoying the music, and the show watching all of these other cool people, and the pretty and sexy girls enjoying themselves too with great big smiles on their faces such as his as well dancing and singing with the music as well, that was until Nafisa stopped him from enjoying himself with the show trying to get him to come with her out of Radio City Music Hall immediately.
Nafisa: (to Lamar.) LAMAR!
And Lamar had to leave the building directly with, and by his stepsister Nafisa with his head down to the ground feeling bad because he had to miss the rest of the show Nafisa said. Charlene Melendez saw the exact whole thing up there about what's going on between Nafisa and Lamar. Now Charlene sort of felt very bad for poor Lamar Dawkins because he's always putting up with Nafisa's grief against him all the time. So she said to herself this.
Charlene: Oh my God. Just wait until Eliza hears about this. That poor African American up in the balcony with some mean woman! That guy could be in great danger with her anytime, non-stop!
But little did Charlene knew that Eliza was also in the concert up to the front row with her best friends, Willona Fox, and Sarah Fiorentino. That was until she finally found Eliza Annette Alvarez and her friends just now. So Charlene was a bit surprised to see Eliza there as well.
Charlene: Wait! There's Eliza! And she's with that nice girl I've met named Willona Fox, and I don't know who that other girl is!
So when the show was finally over, one of the guys from AC/DC said "Thank you! I hope you all enjoyed yourselves! You all have a great night! Go home safe! God bless!" So everybody left the building because the AC/DC concert was over. Everybody had such a great time, even Eliza, Willona, and Sarah.
Eliza: Well, ladies, what do you think?
Willona: I thought the whole show was excellent! I love AC/DC!
Sarah: Me too! Especially when one of the guys started taking off his shirt! That was so wild that it turned me on!
Willona: Me too!
Eliza: That was the reason why we had to slap our faces hard because of what he did at the show! That was so hot! I want my boyfriend to do that for me as well so that I can slap my face for him. I want him to turn me on so that I can turn him on right back, then we'll strip off each other's clothes and do each other real good. Mostly, I'll do him real good because he loves that kind of shit in women like me.
Willona: I especially want my boyfriend to do the same thing for me so that I can turn him on too.
Sarah: Same here with my boyfriend so that I can really turn him on as well, and then touch him all over.
Eliza: And he'll do the same for you too. Right, Sarah?
Sarah: Oh yes. You know, just thinking about it so much is getting me horny right now.
And all the three girls started laughing about it while walking out the building. That is until a second later, Eliza heard a voice calling her name. So Eliza turned around, and it was Charlene Melendez hiding from a fake big bush on a giant vase inside the building.
Charlene: (to Eliza.) Psst! Hey Eliza! Come here for a moment! I've got something to tell you!
So Eliza rushed over to the fake bush to Charlene to find out what she wants. So Eliza asked Charlene this question.
Eliza: (to Charlene.) Charlene, what are you doing here?
Charlene: This is very urgent. While I was getting a ticket to see AC/DC, I spotted some suspicious black woman up in the balcony while watching those hot AC/DC guys play because I like them.
Eliza: (agitated.) Hold it! Have you been spying on me all night when I was with my friends?!
Charlene: No! Please listen to me for once in your life! Okay?!
Eliza: I'm listening. Shoot.
Charlene: Alright. I looked up in the balcony where there is a suspicious black woman who looks very trashy like some kind of fish out of water, along with some young cute black guy who happens to look so handsome. Actually, I couldn't tell if they're either boyfriend or girlfriend. But I think that woman happens to be some kind of gang leader all dressed in black leather just trying to use that poor guy as some kind of walking carpet.
Eliza: So are you saying that she might either be a crook, or a drug dealer or something like that?
Charlene: Maybe. I'll look for more information about her, and tell you about it the next time I see her again It's obvious that poor sweet black guy needs a true friend for life. You know, some people like you and me.
Eliza: Well here, tell you what. Why don't we talk about this strange black woman when we go back to work on Monday. Okay? Right now, I'm here with two of my best friends, and I came with them. So I've got to go with them right away. Okay?
Charlene: Okay. And Eliza.
Eliza: Yes?
Charlene: I'm sorry that we faught at the office the other day. I wasn't really thinking straight at all. I should have let you save that little boy's life from that tree and had your permission first before I did it. And you're right, even though this was my first week on the job as a police officer.
Eliza: I'm sorry too, Charlene. I didn't mean to rave at you like that. That was so darn foolish of me to piss you off that way. This whole thing was my fault. You were just doing me a favor, and I just didn't realize it right away. And you were right. You were the one that saved that kid's life from that tree after he was trying to rescue his cat. And I didn't quite make it there on time because I came in too late. So you were right there on the ball before I came, Charlene. You didn't really deserved that lecture from me. I did because I wasn't thinking straight, neither was I using my head, especially when I was trying to train you of how to be a detective trying to make us go our separate ways after that. I'm sorry, Charlene.
Charlene: Thank you, Eliza. Me too.
Eliza: Say Charlene, can you and I work together as a detective team? Can you and I become good friends?
Charlene: (smiling.) You got it, Eliza. And I promise you, I'll never be some kind of a screw up like I did on my first day here.
Eliza: (laughing.) Hey, that's quite alright, Charlene. We'll both be screw ups together.
Charlene: (laughing with Eliza.) Yeah. Absolutely.
Willona: (very impatient with Eliza.) Hey Eliza, are you coming with us, or are you staying with her?!
Eliza: (to Charlene.) Well look, I better go right now. Okay? My friends have been waiting patiently impatient with me at the moment. So I'll see you later. Okay?
Charlene: You have a good weekend, Eliza.
Eliza: You too, Charlene. Are we partners forever?
Charlene: Yes, Eliza. We're partners forever.
So Eliza and Charlene shook hands on it, and hugged it out as well as they promised each other that they would be a team together, become good friends, and no more separations, neither will they drive each other crazy anymore. As Eliza left the Radio City Music Hall to be with Willona and Sarah, Charlene and Eliza waved good bye to each other as they both left the building on their separate ways happy for the weekend is here, and they don't work on weekends.
Soon it was Monday morning again, Lamar Dawkins is walking the upside of town closer to his neighborhood, which is almost the bad side of town was just walking straight over to some New York City drug store to buy some black female hairdo for his stepsister Nafisa Khoner, when all of a sudden, a beautiful Swedish American, pretty, attractive, sexy, with high cheekbones as well, long blonde hair, big, tall, slim, and very hot looking, and looks exactly like a fashion model was walking another direction until her cellphone was loose on her belt. The cellphone got loose from the belt, and it dropped on the city sidewalk. But it didn't break. When Lamar heard that noise while walking straight to the drug store, Lamar turned around, saw her cellphone on the ground, walked over to pick it up, and was happy to give it back to her which was very polite of him to return the favor to her by saying this to her in a sweet, and simple handsome tenor voice.
Lamar: (to the lady.) Excuse me, Miss. (The lady turned around with a very angry look at him.) You just dropped your cellphone.
But the lady snatched the cellphone away from Lamar, and started snapping at him for no reason at all.
The lady: GIVE ME THAT, ASSHOLE!
Then the lady slapped Lamar's face very hard, and she raved at him some more.
The lady: JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU COME OFF IN A VERY DISGUSTING VOICE OF CROSSING ME WITH YOUR ROTTEN HIGH STANDARDS AGAINST ME, AND PICKING UP MY CELLPHONE FROM THE GROUND BY FLIRTING WITH ME WITH YOUR ROGER RABBIT/BART SIMPSON GRIEF LIKE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME OR SOMETHING, HUH?!
Lamar: I wasn't flirting with you! I was just being nice by giving you your cellphone because you dropped it!
The lady: DON'T BE FUNNY WITH ME, YOU NIGGER GEEK! JUST WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF WOODY WOODPECKER IMITATOR WANTING TO MARRY ME IN THE FUTURE SOMEDAY?! I OUGHT TO BREAK YOUR EVER LOVING, GODDAMN NEGATIVE BLACK BONES FOR THIS, STARTING NOW!
Lamar: (frightened.) What are you talking about, Miss?! I didn't do anything wrong, I tell you! I was just doing you a favor!
Lamar ran for his life away from that woman, and the mean lady started chasing him.
The lady: COME BACK HERE, YOU SICK TWISTED, PLAN JUMPING SHITDOG! I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS! DO YOU HEAR ME?!
Lamar: (still running from her.) Ma'am, please! I'm just trying to help you out! I don't mean no harm! Honest! HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY, HELP! THERE'S A PSYCHO WOMAN WANTING TO KILL ME JUST BECAUSE I WAS JUST BEING POLITE TO HER BY GIVING BACK HER CELLPHONE!
Then suddenly, the lady stopped chasing Lamar, but Lamar still ran on, and on. Then the mean snotty lady stood and yelled at Lamar with negative grief while Lamar ran on.
The lady: YEAH, YOU HAD BETTER RUN, YOU STUPID CARTOON PIG! IF YOU EVER WANT SOMEONE TO FLIRT WITH, WHY DON'T YOU FLIRT WITH A MAD DOG, OR EVEN YOUR MOTHER, AND LEAVE THE PRETTY GIRLS OUT OF THIS!
Then the lady walked away mad at Lamar for absolutely no reason of the sort. So she punched her right hand with her fist shouting "OOOHH!" And she continued walking away mad. Meanwhile, Lamar was still running away from that nasty woman all the way almost to the drug store but not there yet, then Charlene Melendez came walking by in the same direction that mean woman did after threatening Lamar. But Lamar didn't see Charlene walk by at all, neither did Charlene see Lamar run towards her. So Lamar accidently ran into Charlene, and they both fell down on the sidewalk, but they weren't hurt at all.
Lamar: (to Charlene.) Oh, Miss! I'm terribly sorry about that. I didn't see anybody else walk by here.
Charlene: (to Lamar.) Oh, I'm sorry too, my friend. I even didn't see you run towards me here.
Lamar: (grabbed her right hand to pick her up.) Here, let me help you up. Okay?
Charlene: Oh, thank you. That's so very nice you. Gracias, Amigo.
Lamar: De nada. Anytime, Ma'am. Anytime at all.
As Lamar grabs Charlene's left hand to pick her up from the ground, Charlene gets up and expects Lamar's great kindness to her.
Charlene: Hey, thanks, dude.
Lamar: You're quite welcome. Look, once again, I'm very sorry about running into you like that. I didn't see anybody walk by this way until now. The reason that I ran so fast here is because some white psycho woman said that she was gonna kill me. All I did for her was picked up her cellphone, and gave it back to her because she dropped it here on this concrete, but it didn't break. I was only trying to be nice to her, but she got all mad, then she smacked me real hard in my face. She thought that I was doing something to mess her up by taking away her future plans. That's why she wants to kill me. Man, I can't believe people like her that just judge me like that when they don't even know me at all.
Charlene: Hey, it wasn't your fault, Honey. Maybe she was just having a very bad day, or something.
Lamar: Yeah, well either a very bad day, or she's just nuts. She might even have a thing against black people.
Charlene: Well don't worry about it. She's probably not use to other nationalities, including blacks. But at least we are.
Lamar: Oh yeah. I feel you big time, girl.
And they both started laughing with each other, and they talked some more.
Charlene: So, isn't this a wonderful day out here?
Lamar: It sure is. It's not too hot, and it's not too cold. This is just right.
Charlene: So where are you off to in this great day?
Lamar: Oh, I'm just heading over to the drug store to buy my stepsister some hairdo to put on her hair because she really needs it right away.
Charlene: Well that's kinda nice of you to do things for one of your siblings. That's so sweet, just like you.
Lamar: (laughs.) Why thank you. I'm extremely flatered. And tell me. Where are you heading to in this outstanding day as well?
Charlene: Well I'm just walking around parts of this big apple city keeping watch over things around here to make sure that everything, and everybody is safe in these neighborhoods making sure that there are no crime waves, gangs, robberies, and all sorts of bad issues nobody should be doing at all. So I'm trying to make the city safe for everyone.
Lamar: (almost scared.) Woah! Hold up! Are you saying that you're some kind of secret agent police detective?
Charlene: Yes I am. Here, I'll show you my first badge. (She pulls it out from her belt and shows him.) Here it is. Isn't it a beauty? Now don't worry about all of this from me at this point. I'm not here to arrest you, or anything. This is only my second week here because my first week was last week. I'm still learning the techniques of how to be a good detective because as you would know by now, I'm still in college studying criminal justice here in New York City.
Lamar: Is it New York City College?!
Charlene: Dude! You've hit it right on the noggin there! Do you go there too?!
Lamar: I do. I'm taking music, arts, and theater.
Charlene: (slapped one of her cheekbones real good and hard across her face and grunted.) UMM! Wow, we go to the same school, you and I! That is so amazing! You're taking up music, arts, and theater, and I'm taking up criminal justice! That's so very way cool!
Lamar: Thank you. But I've never seen you around my school before. Maybe in the fall I'll look for you one day back there, that is if I ever go back there again, but I don't know if I will at all.
Charlene: (worried about him.) Why not, dude? What's going on?
Lamar: (real upset.) Sadly, my stepsister does not want me going back there ever again, nor talk to my friends over there, including new faces, neither should I be talking to any females. And the reason of all that because my stepsister and her nasty gang does not trust me with a girl, nor an education I want in my life, she doesn't even want me being myself. She and everybody else around here in this city thinks that I'm a cartoon character no goodnik geek, and it's all because of my dreams and high standards about what I want in my lifetime that would make me happy. They all just want me to change for people, do their expectations, and beat myself up, and none of that is right.
Charlene: What?! Was that the reason why that other lady got off on you when you gave her back her cellphone after she dropped it?
Lamar: Yes, that's why. Ever since my parents died, including hers as well, she's been turning herself into a big life of crime with her nasty friends, robbing, killing, doing drugs, and carrying on like this. And blaming this jive on me because of my Mr. Happy Go Lucky reactions to people. They don't like it. My real parents died a long time ago back when I was a freshman back in high school for I don't know what they died from. I miss them very much, you know. Then, my stepparents and my stepsister Nafisa took over my life by giving me too much nasty grief, including her. And it's all because of my positive thinking, and dreaming about what I want around my future. Then seventeen years later, they died as well. Now, it's just me and my stepsister, along with her nasty gang wanting me to do all sorts of very bad things that I'm not interested in doing ever! Plus, my stepsister and I are not getting along too well at all, and it's all because of me. I really need to get out of there big time.
Charlene: Well I'm always here to help you, man. And I feel your pain.
Lamar: Thanks. My stepsister and them are a bunch of crooks, and they want me to join with them. But I told them many times "NO!" But they don't want to listen to me. Plus, they don't want to hear any of my honesty at all because they all think that they're better than I am, all of them. They even have the nerve to fix me up with my own stepsister, marry her as well so that she can rape me very sexually, and also work with this black, nasty, ugly looking, fowl mouth rapper dude by the name of Dirt-B! They want me to be bad partners with him, along with my bad stepsister! They all just want me to suffer by making me do all of their evil, and dangerous trash for them, and everybody else! And by the time Nafisa starts wanting to marry me, after that, she's gonna marry this big strong hunk of a black dude who is also part of her evil gang. And I'll be stuck with these monsters forever. The reason of all that is because everyone in this city thinks I'm a little creep for being myself, and I'm really not. That's why they all want me dead so that they can have all the happiness for themselves, and I can't have any of it because they say I get my hopes too high on things long enough, and that all needs to stop right now! That's why we didn't stay at the AC/DC concert at Radio City Music Hall too long because my stepsister thinks their music is for looney toons. That's why me and her left so early.
Charlene: (surprised.) Yeah! That's where I saw you and your stepsister Friday night, at the AC/DC concert! You two were sitting way up in the balcony. Right?
Lamar: Yes we were. And I was really enjoying myself over there because I like AC/DC a lot. In fact, I like all kinds of music, except for that nasty rap, hip hop, and all that violent junk. That's what my stepsister, her, gang, and Dirt-B like. I don't. I think it's all awful.
Charlene: I know exactly what you mean, sweets. And you know what? Don't pay any attention to what your stepsister, or anyone else says about your happiness, dreams, goals, or so on. These are your dreams, your goals and stuff. Nobody should take any of that joy away from you. If anybody does so, and if they all think you're a no good geeky creep because of all of this, that's their loss, not yours. Because one of these days, they are the ones that are gonna get what they deserve in the end, and believe you me, it won't be very pretty for them at all for threatening other people, especially a real sweet, kind hearted, handsome, and an all around, way cool, good person like you.
Lamar: Hey, thank you so very much! I could use that. My real parents use to tell me those same words of wisdom just like you did, Miss Cheekbones!
Charlene: Well you should listen to your real parents, even though they're gone. But remember, you still have them inside your heart always. Don't ever forget that, my friend. Okay?
Lamar: I won't forget it at all. You're the best, whoever you are.
Charlene: Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Charlene Melendez by the way. I didn't quite introduced myself to you, did I. Well I did it now. What's your name, my dear?
Lamar: My name is Lamar Dawkins.
They both started shaking hands with each other on their first friendship together.
Charlene: Lamar. I like that name. My grandfather's name is Lamar. Nice to meet you!
Lamar: Nice to meet you too, Charlene. And I like your name too. Charlene is a real cool name. In fact, I've always wanted to meet a beautiful girl named Charlene a lot ever since I was twelve years old. And you look so beautiful, Charlene, especially for a detective.
Charlene: Aw, why thank you, Lamar, so very much. And you look very handsome, sweetie.
Lamar: Thank you.
Charlene: You're welcome, Honey.
Lamar: You know, I would love to stay and chat with you some more, but I must head over to the drug store right away and buy this hairdo for my stepsister before she starts slaughtering me big time.
Charlene: Can I walk with you by any chance, Lamar?
Lamar: Sure. You know, I could use some company if you don't mind, Charlene.
Charlene: Mm-mmm, not at all, Lamar. Let's go, huh.
And they both walked together over at the small drug store just down the road. They arrived there just in time. Then they started to talk some more.
Charlene: So where are you originally from, Lamar?
Lamar: I'm originally from Minneopolis-St. Paul, Minnesota. What about you? Are you from right here in New York City?
Charlene: Well actually, no. I'm really from Chicago, Illinois.
Lamar: The windy city, huh? One of my cousins live in Chicago. (Then Lamar picks up one black hairdo for his stepsister while still talking to Charlene.) His name is Philip. He is now the assistant manager of the Chicago Cubs baseball team.
Charlene: Oh, I love the Cubs! I just love them to death! My family and I used to watch them play on TV, and live at Wrigley Field all the time back when I was a kid.
Lamar: And that was before you moved here in New York City, right?
Charlene: Oh yeah! Now that we all moved from Chicago to New York City, times have changed now.
Lamar: And you know something else, Charlene? I even love your last name too. Tell me. Are you Mexican?
Charlene: Well no, mm-mmm, I'm Puerto Rican. I'm also part Irish, and British.
Lamar: I like that a lot, Charlene. I've always wanted to meet a beautiful Hispanic girl like yourself, and all nationalities.
Charlene: And I've always wanted to meet a sweet and handsome black guy like yourself as well, Lamar.
And they both started laughing with each other while walking straight to one of the registers so that Lamar can pay for the hairdo. There was another beautiful woman with red hair on one of the registers, so Lamar and Charlene went over to her.
The woman: (smiling with Lamar and Charlene.) Hello, you guys.
Lamar and Charlene: (smiling back with her.) Hello.
The woman: Are you two together?
Charlene: Well, we sort of ran into each other when we first met recently. So yeah.
Lamar: (to the woman.) This is mine right here, Miss.
The woman: Oh, the black hairdo. (Joking with Lamar.) This isn't for yourself, isn't it?
Then the three of them started laughing.
Lamar: No, actually. This is for my stepsister Nafisa.
The woman: (smiling.) Oh yeah, I know. I was just being silly with you.
Lamar: Oh yeah. As they say, if you don't have any humorous actions into your life, then you're better off dead. (To Charlene.) Am I right, Charlene?
Charlene: You sure are right, Lamar.
The woman: (to the both of them.) Yes, I agree with you guys right there. (She scans the hairdo, and says this to Lamar.) That will be three dollars, sir.
Lamar takes the three dollars from out of his wallet, then gives it to the smiling woman.
The woman: Thank you, sir.
Lamar: You're welcome, beautiful. You know, you've got such a very gorgeous smile just like my friend Charlene Melendez. I like both of your smiles.
And the two girls started laughing.
The woman: Why thank you, dear.
Charlene: Yes, thank you, Lamar.
Lamar: You're welcome, ladies.
The woman: (to Lamar.) You've got such a gorgeous smile too, handsome.
Lamar: Why thank you, ma'am.
The woman: You're welcome. Anytime.
Then she was done checking. So she put the hairdo in the bag for Lamar, and she thank both Lamar and Charlene.
The woman: You two have a great day. Come back again.
Lamar and Charlene: Thank you.
And Lamar and Charlene left the drug store, walked back outside together with great big smiles on their faces getting aquainted with each other. But, from coming walking straight towards their direction looking all tough and cool was none other than that nasty elder stepsister of Lamar's "Nafisa Khoner." She walked, stopped, and looked at her younger stepbrother Lamar with Charlene Melendez talking back and forth to each other. And Nafisa was not a bit happy with this picture at all.
Nafisa: (to herself looking at Lamar with Charlene.) Man, what the hell?! Didn't I tell that boy not to talk to anybody else, except me, Dirt-B, and my gang?!
But meanwhile, Charlene gave some positive words of wisdom to Lamar.
Charlene: Lamar, you stay as sweet as you are, always. Okay? Don't ever change for anybody, not even your stepsister Nafisa.
Nafisa: (overheard what Charlene said to Lamar.) Excuse me? Say don't ever change for what?! I don't think so!
Lamar: (to Charlene.) Hey, thank you for taking the time to talk to me, Charlene. I sure really needed that a lot.
Charlene: Sure, pumpkin. And if you ever need somebody to talk to, share your feelings and other things with whether they're good or bad, and if you ever need any friends to spend any time with, and go out places with here in this city, (She pulled out one of her business cards with all of her information, and email address.) Here is my business card I want to give to you to keep in touch with me whenever you're either in great danger, or feeling really lonely in needing of a cool gal pal to spend time with, like go out, or anything at all like that.
Lamar: Hey, thanks, Charlene. You're the best. Not only that you're a really cool detective, but you're also a very beautiful, pretty, and very attractive lady. And I would like to stay close to somebody just like you because you're very nice, and I like that.
Charlene: Aw, you're very nice too, Lamar. And you're very charming.
Lamar: Why geepers! No one has ever told me that I was charming before in my life. You're about the first cheeky gal that ever said that I was charming. Thank you. And I'm glad that I'm charming.
Charlene: No prob, dude.
Lamar: And Charlene, you also have very gorgeous high cheekbones on your face. I love your cheekbones. In fact, I love everything I see in you. You're hot, and you rock!
Charlene: You rock too, Lamar! Not only that, but you rule! You must have a fetish for girls' cheekbones, do ya?
Lamar: I do lots. I always had this fetish ever since I was a little boy.
Charlene: Your parents probably know that you had that weird fetish for quite a while. Right?
Lamar: They did a long time ago. I told them once back when they were still alive, and they both started laughing. Do you know why I love women with sexy cheekbones, and their hot looks so much?
Charlene: Mm-mmm. Tell me.
Lamar: I love it when a cool, and sexy woman like that slaps one of her cheeks real good and hard across her face and grunts "UMM" because it's real hot and sexy that way in a woman. Plus, it turns me on, gets me excited, makes me want to give her this great big long cheek to cheek hug on her cheek that she slapped herself with, never let go of her, and she'll hug me right back as well.
Charlene: Wow, you sure know exactly what you're looking for in a woman, do ya?
Lamar: Yes I do.
Charlene: Well did you see me slap myself in the face a little bit earlier when we just had a conversation with each other?
Lamar: Yes I did, and you grunted for me when I told you that I go to the same college as you do. I like that grunt! It's sexy!
Charlene: Here, Lamar. Do you want me to do it again for you so that we can give each other a great big long cheek to cheek hug goodbye? Because I really have to go right now and do my duty as a detective.
Lamar: Sure, most definitely! I would like that very much.
Charlene: I'll do it three times and grunt for you each time I do. Are you ready?
Lamar: Ready as I can be Charlene. Bring in the juice!
And Charlene slapped her face real good and hard three times for Lamar, and grunted to get him turned on, and excited. Then they both went up to each other and gave each other a great big long cheek to cheek hug, and they didn't let go of each other at all. And Nafisa was as mad as a moose seeing Lamar hugging Charlene cheek to cheek. So Nafisa said this to herself.
Nafisa: (with jelousy.) Aw, hell no!
And Nafisa ran all the way straight to Lamar and Charlene real fast, then pushed Charlene furiously hard away from Lamar, and started raving at her with a very disgusting threat to her! And Charlene yelled "HEY!"
Nafisa: (to Charlene.) YOU TAKE YO' GODDAMN SALSA HANDS OFF OF HIM! YOU HEAR THAT, MISS TIMBALE PRINCESS?! (Then she grabs Lamar away from Charlene to her with great force!) STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY STEPBROTHER! He's my man, my boyfriend, and my husband to be! And he's most definitely not yours, girlfriend!
Charlene: Stepbrother, boyfriend, and husband to be?! That doesn't look too cool, my dear!
Lamar: (to Nafisa.) Yeah, Nafisa! That's right!
Nafisa: (to Lamar.) YOU SHUT UP, DUMMY! (And back to Charlene.) And you, you need to find a dude your own stupid Spanish kind, and leave my nationality black man out of your folks! You got that?!
Charlene: But you can't marry your own stepbrother like that! That's illeagal ! It's also against the law.
Nafisa: (to Charlene.) GIRL, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK IS AGAINST THE LAW AROUND UP IN HERE! ILLEAGAL OR NOT, I LOVE HIM! AND I ALSO HAPPEN TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE AS WELL! AND HE HAPPENS TO BE MORE HANDSOME LOOKING, AND MORE OF A MAN THAN LAMAR, AND BIG AND STRONG TOO! PLUS, HE'S PART OF MY GANG BECAUSE HE'S SMART, AND MY STEPBROTHER IS STUPID!
Lamar: (to Nafisa.) HEY GIRL, YOU TAKE THAT BACK! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M NOT STUPID!
Nafisa: (whacked Lamar's head.) I SAID SHUT UP, BOY! (And back to Charlene.) Now girl, I want you to clear out of this city at once! Do you hear me?! You don't even belong here in this town anyway! And once me and Lamar get married together, and also, when I marry a real hot man I really like because I don't love my stepbrother at all, he'll be doing hard labor as one of us and teaming up with another hot man who is also into our thang here because he's a rapper that is also with us! His name is Dirt-B who is also part of my gang, and more dangerous as I am, so you, Miss Cheekbones, had better watch your ass, or you'll be slapping yourself in your own face through the damn mirror, or I'll come down and slap you!
Charlene: (pulled out her badge on Nafisa, and gave her almost a warning.) Not so fast, my sweet! Either you-
Nafisa: (pointed her gun at her and stopped her from warning Nafisa.) UH-UH-UH! Don't even think of using that Dragnet shit on me, girl! Let me warn you around here that I rule this city, and I kill cops for fun that ever try to handcuff me, and all that ignorant jive y'all do all the time because I'm too damn strong, and too damn smart for you flatfoots! I'm even smarter than you, cheek girl! And I'm better than you as well, freak! AND GET THAT GODDAMN BADGE OUTTA MY FACE!
And Charlene slowly drops her badge from Nafisa's face with a fearful sad look on her face.
Nafisa: (started threatening Charlene some more.) Now, when I rule all of New York City, saving the popular, and destroying the lonely, getting everybody high on my stuff, soon, everybody's gonna know my name, and so will you, bitch! And when I take control of this whole town whether uptown, or even downtown, y'all need to do what I say! And don't ever touch my stepbrother no more, nor even see him again! He's getting married to me, and teaming with Dirt-B, and will not join you dumb folks! Do you hear me?!
Lamar: (agitated.) Nafisa, have you flipped your brainshell?!
Nafisa: (grabbing Lamar back home away from Charlene.) And as for you, stupid, didn't I tell you never to be seeing nobody else, not even her, huh?! You know that you're my guy, and Dirt-B's as well, boy! Just what's your problem anyway, huh?!
Lamar: Nafisa, I don't love you, nor do I want to do bad stuff with Dirt-B! I told y'all that many times, but you don't want to listen to me at all! Not any of you!
Nafisa: BOY, I SAID SHUT UP! DO YOU HEAR ME?! You stop acting so crazy to people! That ain't right, dummy!
So Nafisa took Lamar back home with her nasty gang again in one of those poor four story apartment buildings just two blocks down the road. Then Charlene knew that Lamar was in very great danger with Nafisa, his nasty, no good stepsister. So she grabbed her smartphone to call her partner Eliza Annette Alvarez about Lamar's stepsister being a real monsterous crook to him, and everybody else.
Charlene: Oh God, I better call Eliza real quick. That black woman Nafisa, or whoever she is, is real psycho.
So Charlene dialed Eliza's office number to talk to Eliza about Nafisa harming Lamar in so many bad ways. So Charlene waits for Eliza to pick up while the phone is ringing, and Eliza picked up.
Eliza: (on the phone with Charlene.) Hello. NYPD. This is Detective Eliza Annette Alvarez speaking.
Charlene: Hello, Eliza. This is Charlene Melendez.
Eliza: (at her office at the station with her cellphone.) What's up, Charlene?
Charlene: Do you remember at that AC/DC concert at Radio City Music Hall when I told you about that crazy black woman up in the balcony with that poor lonesome black guy all by themselves?
Eliza: (at the office.) Yeah?
Charlene: That's the same black girl from the concert, and the same black dude! First, I've met the black dude when he accidently ran into me while I was going in another direction, then we talked for a while I was walking with him to this small drug store buying hairdo for his stepsister. After that, that woman came and grabbed him with very anger issues on me.
Eliza: (at the office.) Did you get their names, and their information?
Charlene: I did get their names. They are Lamar Dawkins, and Nafisa Khoner. Lamar was a real sweetheart who is never into crime ever, but Nafisa, the evil black woman started threatening me with bad shit, and told me never to see the poor guy Lamar ever again because she, and this nasty rapper dude by the name of Dirt-B, whoever he is want to use him for another ornament of crime. Nafisa wants to marry his stepbrother just to make things absolutely worse for him, and this Dirt-B guy whom I've never met at all just want to frighten him to join his drug addict gang because they both want to put him on display for good without anybody not even us to help him out of this shit! They all want to kill him. Everybody does because he happens to be different than other people, and nobody likes that of him at all.
Eliza: (checked Nafisa's picture on her computer at her office.) I know why this chick Nafisa, and Dirt-B wants him, Charlene. They're both drug addicts that want him dead big time so that they and everybody else here in New York City want all the happiness for themselves, and he can't have any of it, they say.
Eliza: (back outside.) You know all about this too, Eliza? You've met those two before I did?
Eliza: Well, I haven't met them personally. I've just checked out their names, their faces, their information, and what they both do for a living on my computer that those two, and their gang are very dangerous. Is her younger stepsister Lamar one of them as well?
Charlene: Mm-mmm! I've just told you that he's innocent! He needs to be rescued from those nasty drugies so that he can be with a bunch of nice people that love him, care about him, can help him out of a jam whenever he's in one whatever it is such as right now so that he can get a better education for his future this fall, kinda like myself, be with his friends again, and to have some peace with people into his life that do not do any of those bad things like that overall black bitch Nafisa does with her gang wanting Lamar to do the same things just like they do. And I don't think Lamar is into that shit!
Eliza: (at her office.) But let's be cautious about it. Okay, Charlene? I hear that this Nafisa bitch happens to kill cops for a living if we ever try to stand in her way, or even thinking about arresting her.
Charlene: I know. The mean girl just told me all about it recently when I pulled out my badge just to give her a warning. Then she even have the nerve to put her gun out at my face and threaten me! What a villanist snob! What are we gonna do about this, Eliza?!
Eliza: (at the office.) Here, come back to the office. I have a very special plan that just might help Lamar from this issue.
Charlene: Oh you do? Well I sure hope this plan of yours works, Eliza. Because I sure as hell don't want to be in such a deadly rut with this chick Nafisa. I'm on my way.
As Charlene shuts off her smartphone after she was done talking to Eliza, she rushed back to the New York Police Department right away back to Eliza's office.
But meanwhile just two blocks away from the small drug store at an old broken down four story apartment building made of bricks, on the fourth floor inside door number 10, Nafisa started walking back and forth all frustrated, and angry at Lamar for spending time with Charlene Melendez thinking about what she's going to say to her stepbrother while Lamar is sitting down on his old bed worried about Nafisa because she's not feeling right. So Lamar asked her this question before Nafisa starts yelling at him.
Lamar: Hey Nafisa? Are you alright? Are you okay?
Nafisa: (started raving at Lamar.) BOY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, HUH?! AND EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING OUT THERE?! I TOLD YOU TO BUY MY HAIRDO, NOT TO MINGLE OUT AND ABOUT AND CONNECT WITH SOME PUNK ASS PUERTO RICAN FEMALE SENORITA! JUST WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, GODDAMMIT?! DIDN'T YO' MAMMA AND DADDY EVER TELL YOU NEVER TO BE TALKING TO NO STRANGERS WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY, HUH?! AND YOU'RE STILL A LITTLE BOY, DUMMY!
Lamar: Nafisa, she's only a cop! Alright?!
Nafisa: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT SHE IS, BOY! YOU'RE MINE, NOT HERS! You are not to ever see that damn Hispanic bitch no more! DO YOU HEAR ME?! AND WHERE'S MY HAIRDO?!
Lamar: (showed her the bag.) I've got it right here in this bag! Alright, Nafisa?! Chill out!
Nafisa: (snatched the bag away from Lamar.) GIVE IT HERE, FOOL! And this better be my brand too, boy! If it ain't, I'm gonna kill you!
Then Nafisa opened up the bag, and it is her brand. It was "Sulffer 8." And without saying thank you to Lamar, she started threatening him some more with rage.
Nafisa: Now Lamar, you need to quit being yourself and loving yourself and everybody else all the time! Don't none of that mix with the future! Nobody loves you because they all love me, I love me, and we're better than you are! Do you hear ?! BETTER!
Lamar: Why are you so agrivated with me all these times just because I have these big dreams that I prayed for, and want to come into my life that would make me happy?
Nafisa: SHUT UP, BOY! Now you know better than to be going to that dumb college, talking to stupid losers, praying, reading a crazy, disgusting, filthy bible believing all that God and Jesus shit! That ain't nothing but stupid ideas them old fools out in our heads just to turn us off like that! That ain't right! And you've been instructed many times not to be going those crazy shtidog ways! You were warned that many times, Lamar! Why can't you listen to what people keep complaining about against you, huh?! You know that's their stuff, and not yours! You need to be changing for people, instead of you keep getting into their way by just being yourself all the time against folks! This is the 21ST century, not the 1900s anymore!
Lamar: (angry.) So what are you getting at, girl? HUH?!
Nafisa: BOY, I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP! Don't you go raising your ugly cartoon voice at me! I'm talking here, and you just chill! Don't be taking anything I say likely, boy! You need to be taking all of what people are saying about you seriously, and fix the mess you did to them, and us too! You can't keep being yourself! You need to be like a hot, cool, winner man from the movies, comic hero books, and the famous rappers, rockers, and do the things they do, and we do, and GET RID OF ALL THAT OTHER GODDAMN NERDY TRASH! And like I told you before, you stay away from that Puerto Rican slut because she's causing you to get your hopes too high on other people's plans again just like you did to us, and you did it to yourself! STOP IT! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M TIRED OF IT! WE ALL ARE! No wonder you ain't got no friends! Now practice your cool moves like I taught you, boy! God damn! A black man, and a Puerto Rican woman together?! That just doesn't sound right! That's just so stupid! As a matter of fact, that's super stupid! Don't ever do anything like that to us no more, boy! Or you're in big time trouble! Understood?! Creep!
Then Nafisa left Lamar as flat as a pancake by saying what she had to say to her younger stepbrother, she walked out, slammed Lamar's bedroom door real loud, and Lamar didn't feel too good, nor encouraged about Nafisa's negative feedbacks against him because of what he believes, and wants for his future that would make him happy. But Nafisa just doesn't go that way. So Lamar said this to himself with his face down to the ground.
Lamar: Man, I've just got to get out of here one way or another. Nafisa and her gang scare me so, this apartment building gives me the creeps, and I don't have any close friends whom I can share my good and bad with because nobody likes me here in this city, that was until I met this cool chick who is really a true friend of mine, and she's Puerto Rican, also a detective. Well, at least she's learning how to be one. Besides, she happens to go to the same college I go. Oh Charlene Melendez, where are you when I need you, girl? (He almost forgot that he has Charlene's business card in his left pocket.) Oh wait! Charlene just gave me her business card today. I can give her a buzz right now! And I believe that I'm going to.
So Lamar used his Verizon Wireless smart phone to call Charlene up immediately so that he can chat with her about this issue.
But meanwhile, Nafisa, and her six boy gang, along with her five bad girl gang all looking cool in their cool clothes, and they're also very dangerous. Their names are Mooky; a black man, Crab; another black man, Brick; a white guy, Plug; another white guy, Lucifer; one more white guy, and Burrito; a mean and dangerous Colombian guy. Now the girls. They all look beautiful, pretty, attractive, sexy, big, tall, slim, powerful, strong, quick, and fast all have very sexy unique skin, all have high cheekbones, three ladies have long hair, but two of those ladies have short hair, and almost look like lesbian dykes. Their names are Shriek; a white girl with long blonde hair, Shelly; a black woman just like Nafisa, but with long hair, Gum; a tanned woman with long red hair, Smarty; another black woman with almost no hair at all looks like a dyke, and last but not least, Ball; a part tan, part olive skinned woman with brunette short hair. They all have deep low sexy voice, and they're part of Nafisa's gang too. Then, there's this big, tall, gorgeous, handsome, and very strong black dude whom Nafisa is really in love with a lot, and his stepbrother Lamar. Es's part of her gang as well, and he's also a monster drug addict, and a crook as well, and Nafisa loves him very much and he loves her right back. His name is Moose, with one earing in his right ear. Nafisa started discussing a few things with her gang, and her real boyfriend Moose as well about what are they going to do next.
Nafisa: Yo yo yo, y'all!
Every person in her group started clapping and cheering for Nafisa because she came to her gang to talk to them about their big job plan here in New York City.
Mooky: Hey yo, Nafisa! You really rock, girlfriend!
Smarty: Yeah! Mooky's right, you rule big time, Nafisa!
Shriek: You're the best, Nafisa!
Crab: Get down, Nafisa! Go on with yo' bad self, foxy lady!
Nafisa: Thank you! Thank you all!
Gum: You and Moose are the gorgeous two heros around, and your stupid stepbrother is not anywhere of being close to looking as hot as you two. He's an ugly monster, he's gay, and he needs to drop dead!
Nafisa: Oh yeah. I agree with you one hundred percent, Gum.
Brick: So what's our mission for today, Nafisa?
Nafisa: Well I'm mighty glad you asked that, Brick. We're all gonna rule all of New York City. We're gonna salute all of the winners, and destroy all of the losers. We're gonna rob all banks, cars, all other good stuff that we want for our future, sell drugs to people, have sex with a lot of men and women, including the kids and teenagers. And if they, or nobody else does what we tell 'em to, we'll kill them. And we're gonna fix every single lonely man up with their moms, sisters, stepsisters, along with their dads to go steady with and marry, so that way these mean dunces, including my dumb stepbrother as well can do something with their geeky ways, and start changing for people instead of being themselves all the time just like my idiotic stepbrother Lamar. He does that a whole lot, and that just bothers me big damn time, y'all!
Moose: I see exactly where you're coming from, my dear. That just bothers us too. I don't like anything from, nor about him one bit! He just makes me want to beat, and slap the damn shitty daylights out of him, or even kill him!
Ball: (smiling.) Yeah, that's why he has no friends at all, but you do, Nafisa. You've got us, and this whole wide world! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe!
Nafisa: You better belive it, Ball.
Ball: Honey, I always do. Heheheheheheheheheheh!
Moose: And when all of this is done and over with, sweetie pie, we'll go to that cool celebrity dance place in the city of Los Angeles in California, and travel all over the world like you and I promise. Right, baby?
Nafisa: Moose, I knew you will always take good care of me, darling.
Moose: Baby, I will always do everything for you big time. Our dreams are gonna happen one day. You just watch, girlfriend. And we'll get one of those big cool mansions up in the rich coast somewhere, or even a big place over at Washington D.C.
Nafisa: Oh Moose baby, I love your words of wisdom already. They just tangle me with cool futuristic stuff big time. I love it! Every single one of it! And we will make it big someday! All of us!
Mooky: (to Nafisa and Moose.) Hey yo, save your romance for on in the future! We've got a lot of work to do! And Nafisa, you still need to call Dirt-B about tutering Lamar to be like us, and the superstars, and not some dumb cartoon character!
Nafisa: Oh yeah, that's right, Mooky. And speaking of that no good, stupid, disgusting little bugger lover stepbrother of mine, the monster himself, I'm gonna go to his room and check on that creep! He better not be doing anything foolish by getting his hopes too high on folks again! Let's see if the evil dummy can get away with this!
Crab: Get down, Nafisa! Get it on!
Then Nafisa went over to Lamar's room, kicked the door open real loud and hard, and she caught Lamar texting people he knows on his smartphone. Now Nafisa was very very angry.
Nafisa: (to Lamar.) Lamar! (Lamar turned around to Nafisa.) Are you texting your stupid loser friends from that dumb college you go to, or connecting with that Goddamn Puerto Rican fuzz girl with the cheekbones again which you ain't got no business too?! GET THAT DUMB ASS PHONE OUT OF HERE!
And Lamar quickly shut off the whole system on his smartphone, and put it away just like his stepsister Nafisa told him to.
Nafisa: Boy, you are so ugly, and stupid!
And Nafisa left him flat again, slammed the door at his face real loud, and went back to her gang.
Nafisa: (smiling.) I'm back again, y'all. I just had to say something to my crazy, dumb, and disgusting stepbrother, and lover Lamar because he started texting that Puerto Rican ass bitch, and plenty more of his stupid so called friends from his dumb school again. Well they're definitely no friends of mine. They're real frenemies!
Mooky: Say what?! That little backstabbing, sabotaging, low down jive turkey! Just what the hell is his game?!
Crab: Yeah! Only a fool would get into that kind of shit that no one else would get into!
Plug: Not even us, if you know what I mean!
Moose: Yeah, I'm with you on that, Plug!
Nafisa: Well, I'm gonna call Dirt-B right now. For he's the only cool, and special super dupeer rapper man that can put some sense into Lamar's head from all that junk fetish he still has! That boy needs to learn how to start being cool and dangerous like all of us in here, and stop being such a weird loser nerd! That's just sick big time!
Brick: Yeah, you're telling me, Nafisa. His whole dreams suck!
Nafisa: That's right, Brick! I better hope that Dirt-B is in his studio along with his two bodyguards Grady Sims and Gavin Mews.
So Nafisa waits for Dirt-B to answer while the phoneline was ringing, then someone picks it up, and it was rapper Dirt-B on the phone with Nafisa on her own cellphone.
Dirt-B's voice: Yo, what's up, y'all?
Nafisa: Hello, Dirt-B? This is Nafisa Khoner. What's up, my man?!
Dirt-B's voice: Hey, what's up, Nafisa! How are you doing girlfriend?!
Nafisa: I'm doing fine, brotha! Are you up to a mission with us at all today?
Dirt-B's voice: Yo, what kind of a mission do you have in mind, girl?
Nafisa: Tell you what. Come over to my apartment right away, you and your bodyguards. I've got a big plan I want to show y'all.
Dirt-B's voice: Yo, we're on our way right now. Are your gang here with y'all as well?
Nafisa: yes, everybody's here. Just come on down, homeboy.
Dirt-B's voice: Yo, you got it, beautiful!
But meanwhile back over at the NYPD, Eliza Alvarez and Charlene Melendez are looking through Eliza's flattop computer checking out Nafisa Khoner, her picture, her history, and what she does today.
Eliza: EWW! She does not at all look one bit pretty. No wonder she's such a drug addict!
Charlene: And a thief too, Eliza. Just take a look at this fine print here in the computer. It says here that Nafisa's parents did not teach her any manners at all back when she was a little girl because they're drug addicts too. She keeps acting out too many times, watches a lot of horror, and X-rated movies with plenty of her wrong crowd friends, never watches any cartoons, nor any good clean stuff, very mean to everybody in high school which is why she's a dropout, which is why she picked a whole new strong gang to take over all of New York City!
Eliza: Why her parents ought to be ashamed of themselves letting her do all sorts of very bad things to people like that! Now she wants to take over all of New York City just to rob everybody out of their own fortune, do stupid things, and get wasted big time!
Charlene: That's why she's a drug dealer, and a crook! And she even wants to get Lamar into their dirty work! Marrying his stepsister, and being partners with this nasty drug addict rapper named Dirt-B?! That's just insane, Eliza!
Eliza: Of course it is! Here's Dirt-B's picture in the computer right now. And he happens to look as twice as worse than Nafisa with that ugly gold teeth in him as he was part of some angry mob or something.
Charlene: I hear that he's not a very friendly, nor a charming guy at all. He's about as mean as her.
Eliza: Yup, that's just exactly what I've read in the computer fine print. He robs, steals, does and says a lot of mean and nasty stuff with all of his CDs he makes, and rapes and kills single men for fun! This does not look too good, Charlene.
Charlene: I know. This guy is twice as psycho as Nafisa. Even he's been treated badly by his parents. That's why they both want Lamar!
Eliza: As for Dirt-B, he wants Lamar to be his partner as a not so cool drug addict crook just like him, along with Nafisa, and the rest of that bad gang so that they can do him a lot of harm, and to everybody here in New York City! Nafisa just wants to marry her own stepbrother just to make him do too much nasty crap for everybody just to make a big fool out of him only for a little while so that she can take the time with this big guy named Moose who happens to be part of her gang as well. And that's the type of guy that Nafisa is really into and not his stepbrother.
Charlene: Moose?! No wonder she and Dirt-B want to get everybody high, and stop Lamar from achieving his goals of what he really wants to do in life that would make him happy. Now Nafisa is telling him to start doing very rotten, and evil stuff to make him mad! Eliza, we need to do something!
Eliza: But the two of us can't do this alone, Charlene. This girl is tough and we're gonna need more help to stop those creeps before they go any further.
Meanwhile back at that old broken down apartment building, Nafisa, Dirt-B, the two bodyguards Grady Sims and Gavin Mews that are also black men tough and strong, and the rest of the men and women are here to hear what Nafisa is about to plan next with her gang, all except for her younger stepbrother Lamar.
Nafisa: Alright, y'all! Listen up! Here's our plan that we're gonna do.
Crab: Yo, we're listening, girl! Preach it, child!
Nafisa: Alright. There's this Hispanic fiesta that's gonna be happening at noon today. This New York salsa band from the Bronx that's gonna be there, a Puerto Rican male group, only six dudes with their instruments. We're gonna go there to see them play first because I never heard these guys before in my life. They call themselves "The Pintos." But after their show is over, we're gonna make those Spanish fools play with our man Dirt-B here which is our man right now here, they will take off all their clothes, and we'll make them do a lot of real jammin' dirty dancing while Dirt-B is rapping, and everybody else will give us their belongings.
Burrito: Cool, Nafisa! For you know I do speak Spanish as well as English, so just in case they don't know any English at all, I'll confront them in Spanish to do what we say.
Lucifer: Yeah, that's right, Burrito! We'll teach those musical Santana imitators that we rule the city!
Nafisa: Right on, Lucifer! (To Dirt-B.) Dirt-B, you know what to do with Lamar before we do our thang?!
Dirt-B: Oh yeah, Nafisa. I know just what to say to my partner about you, me, and all of us saying that nobody loves him but you, and me when I go into his room. (He started using an evil smile.) The boy must be crying over you, but mostly, it's me that he wants because I'm his durg dealing manager, and he wants one of us really bad. Here I come, Superstar of the gang!
Gavin: Yo, Dirt-B, do you want me and Gavin to guard that room while you hammer the creep to death?
Grady: Yeah?
Dirt-B: (to his bodyguards.) Yeah. Don't let anybody in this room I'm going in now while I train my new partner Lamar. All of you. Okay?
Moose: Yo, you can count on us, Dirt-B.
Dirt-B: Thanks, Moose.
And Dirt-B opened the door of Lamar's room normally without kicking it open like Nafisa did, and gave Lamar such a disgusting,and very evil smile. Lamar was scared completely because he knows just what Dirt-B is going to be up to with him, and it's not good news.
Dirt-B: (to Lamar, and he closed the door.) Hey, Mr. Cool! How's it going, Mr. Bride to Nafisa Khoner?
Lamar: Just what do you want this time, huh, Dirt-B? Your rap music stinks, your body is bad, your manners are disgustibg, including that nasty smile, and you smell like an overall billy goat! Why don't you just be a man for once in your life and leave me alone!
Dirt-B: But I can't do that, Little Boy. You know that I have to teach you how to become a hot hero for people like me, and not some damn zero. Nafisa don't like that, and neither does anybody else. They all know what you look, sound like, and they all know what you are. You're no good. That's why I brought the drugs for you to try and do because Nafisa want it.
Lamar: No! You stay away from me with your stupid drugs and pot! Do you hear me?! I'm sick of your shit, and Nafisa's too!
Dirt-B: Uh-uh, child. You know we're trying to make you a man, and not a boy before we get outta here with my gang, and your woman Nafisa! Let's do our thang! Shall we?!
Lamar: No! I said get these drugs away from me! I'm into my education, and staying clean with everything I'm trying to accomplish for myself! I'm not into marijuana, drugs, or any of that othenasty, and dangerous stuff! I don't go that way like my stepsister does!
Dirt-B: (still being very mean to him without thinking straight at all!) Oh yeah?! Maybe you do go these ways, and you just don't know that just yet! We want you to be part of our gang! It's the only way to stop you from being lonely so much! You know Nafisa loves you as a lover, and not a stepsister anymore! That's why she's always cranky because you never ever change for anybody, and you must do that at all times! Come on! Let's do this!
Lamar: (angry!) NO, I SAID! I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY BAD STUFF WITH ANY OF YOU! ALRIGHT?! NOW GET OUT OF HERE!
Dirt-B: DAMN, BOY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! WHY DO YOU WANT TO JUST BE A NOBODY WHEN WE'RE TRYING TO MAKE YOU A REAL SOMEBODY, HUH?! YOU KNOW THAT NAFISA IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND, AND YOUR WIFE TO BE, AND HE WANTS A REAL MAN LIKE YOUR FRIEND MOOSE, NOT SOME STUPID LITTLE CARTOON CHARACTER LIKE WOODY WOODPECKER, YOU LITTLE IDIOT! NAFISA CHOSED YOU, AND WANT MORE FROM YOU THAN JUST YOU BEING YOURSELF, AND NOT BEING LIKE A REAL HERO BECAUSE NOBODY IN THIS WORLD LIKES THAT, NOT EVEN NAFISA, AND YOU KNOW YOU'LL GET IN BIG TROUBLE FOR ALL OF THAT!
Lamar: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE YOURSELF! EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKEN! AND I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MY STEPSISTER NAFISA! I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT IN A SOULMATE, AND IT SURE AS HELL NOT NAFISA!
Dirt-B: Yeah?! Well just who is your damn love interest this time, and Nafisa ain't, huh?! Is it Selena Gomez, or Beyonce from Destiny's Child?! You've got to be in love with that white bitch Miley what her face from that one show called "Hannah Montana!" Am I right, nigger,huh?! AM I RIGHT, I SAID?!
Lamar: (crying.) Look, Dirt-B, just leave me alone, alright?! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT! I DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH YOU, NOR NAFISA, NOR ANY OF THOSE OTHER NASTY PEOPLE THAT THINK BAD ABOUT ME LIKE THIS! I'N NOT INTO DRAMA! OKAY?! GO!
Dirt-B: (frustrated.) Okay fine! But let me just tell you this news, fool! One day, you're gonna wake up for yourself and realize that no beautiful woman of any kind is gonna be with such an ugly little chicken shit nigger like you at all! And when you're with that girl from your dreams, and if she starts turning you down, you're gonna really want Nafisa, and makeyour mind up about being one of us! You'll see!
And Dirt-B walked out of Lamar's room, slammed the door at his face just like Nafisa did too many times, and Lamar felt that he was going to throw up. So he went out of his room to the bathroom real quick, closed the door, and he started to vomit in the toilet bowl. After he came out of the bathroom when he was done, before he went to his room, he had this to say to Dirt-B.
Lamar: (to Dirt-B.) DIRT-B, YOU'RE A FILTHY DISGUSTING, NEGATIVE PIG! THAT WAS A VERY DISGRACEFUL MESSAGE YOU'VE JUST TOLD ME, AND I DIDN'T LIKE THAT ONE BIT! I'LL NEVER BE YOUR PARTNER, NOR MARRY NAFISA! DO YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER!
Everybody: BEAT IT, GEEK!
So Lamar ran back to his room after everybody told him to beat it, closed the door, and felt very scared and uncomfortable with everybody who hates him very much, that he started crying again because he's very lonely without any friends that would stick by him and help him whenever he's feeling this way like now. So he went back on his smart phone, turned it on, called Charlene Melendez to see if she's in her office with Eliza Alvarez.
But meanwhile, Nafisa, Dirt-B, and the rest of the gang are getting ready to move out of the building, to head down Spanish Harlem to check out this Spanish band called "The Pintos," and rob them, all other bad stuff!
Nafisa: Okay, everybody ready?!
Everybody: YEAH!
Nafisa: Let's all move out!
Everybody: Yo yo yo, it must be the money!
So they all left the apartment building to do their first big job plan down over at Spanish Harlem. But while they were all gone, Lamar, still in his room, just dialed Charlene and Eliza's office number to see if Charlene is there. Then back at the New York Police Department, Eliza and Charlene at their office heard their phone ring because Lamar is calling.
Eliza: I'll get it, Charlene. That's probably my boyfriend Jose. He was going to tell me about that Mexican band that's happening downtown.
Charlene: Okay, Eliza.
So Eliza rushes to the phone as fast as she could while the phone is still ringing.
Eliza: (thinking that's her boyfriend Jose.) Hold on, sweetheart, I'm coming!
Then Eliza picks up the phone saying this.
Eliza: Hello. New York City Police Department. This is Detective Eliza Annette Alvarez speaking. How can I help you?
But that wasn't Eliza's boyfriend Jose at all. It was Lamar Dawkins trying to get a hold of Charlene Melendez.
Lamar: (in his apartment.) Hello. Is Detective Charlene Melendez available at the moment please? This is extremely urgent.
Eliza: She's here. Yes. May I please ask who's calling for her?
Lamar: My name is Lamar Dawkins. And this is a very serious matter.
Eliza: (excited and wanting to talk to Lamar so badly.) Lamar Dawkins?! (And she slapped her own face very hard on her right cheek.) OOH! Oh my God! Holy shit! I've been wanting to meet and talk with you face to face, dude! Charlene Melendez keeps telling me so many wonderful stories about you, man! Oh, I'm Charlene's partner Detective Eliza Annette Alvarez! How's it hanging, kid?!
Lamar: Well, not quite very good until now! I've been hearing a lot of cool adventures about you too, Detective Eliza Alvarez! I've checked you out many times on the computers at school! You've been helping a whole lot of people around all of New York City as one cool detective! Not only that you're beautiful with the same olive colored skin, and the same sexy cheekbones just like Charlene has as well, you're both very pretty, and very talented ladies, and I would love to see you foxy ladies both!
Eliza: Aw, why thank you, Lamar! That is such a sweet comment you said!
Lamar: Any time, Eliza!
Eliza: So what do you want to talk to Charlene about?
Lamar: Well, I've been trying to get a great education for myself at college again this fall because I like to write screenplays, music, and do a lot of art as well. You see, I want to get into showbiz. But the whole issue with my future is this. My stepsister Nafisa Khoner wants to pull me away from my future, education, my friends, my long lost family from all over after my parents died. She doesn't want me having no future for myself. She doesn't even want me meeting any new faces, like I've met your partner Charlene the first time because she's been very nice to me all these times when we first met at least four days ago. But Nafisa advised me against that too. She wants me to do all sorts of negative, unlawful, dangerous, and very disgusting trash that I'm not interested in doing. That's why she's a crook, thief, and a drug dealer. Plus, she's always getting drunk everytime. That's why she has a bad gang, having this nasty rapper to molest me to join his and her gang and stuff, and wanting me to be alone all by myself with absolutely no friends at all. I can't take this anymore!
Eliza: Aw, you poor thing. Have you told her parents about what she and they keep doing to harm you in all sorts of bad ways?
Lamar: Her parents are gone too. Both our parents are gone. It's just me, her, a creep named Dirt-B, and the rest of those nasty bad people whom I just want to get away from starting now. I can't take any of this from them, Eliza. I've just got to get out of here so that I can be worry free, get an education, and see the world whenever I become famous, but I don't know when will that be. I've been saying a whole lot of my prayers to God asking him to forgive Nafisa, and everybody else around New York City that keep turning against me all these times, see my friends again, make a better future for myself, and wherever my family would be, I want to see them all again. And most important, Eliza, I've also prayed about a certain special girl to come into my life, and I don't want just anybody at all. She's not only have to be special, but she's got to be fun, adventurous, exciting, sweet, funny, very talented, rich, famous, and real nice just like you and Charlene. And speaking of which, I could really use a sweet and funny gal pal to keep me company now.
Eliza: Well you can always come over to the New York Police Department. We can help you out with all those heartbroken situations. Plus, we can find you several nice places to live with a bunch of nice people to talk to, and not mean jerks that just give you less encouragement when you need a lot of encouragement.
Lamar: Yes, I really need all of that right now, and fast! But the only problem with that is "I don't have a car to go there at all, and no money because I don't have a job." That's why I'm stuck in a dead end future with Nafisa and her bad guys. They don't even want me going anywhere ever! They want me to stay at home all day and all night so that I have to put up with their nasty negativity while they go out to rob, steal, get stoned, and all sorts of very bad, and stupid things while I remain at home feeling miserable, and beating myself up all of the times with no single close friend to help with three issues.
Eliza: Hey, don't even think of worrying about a single thing here, Lamar. One of us, either Charlene, or myself will come and get you so that you can have an adventure with us, and everybody else again.
Lamar: Hey, thanks a lot for everything, Eliza. Do you two know where I live?
Eliza: We do, Lamar. We have your address on our computer here in the station. So we'll swing by there and pick you up so that we can serve protect, help, and give you the time of your life away from those maniacs.
Lamar: I can't wait until one of you get nere.
Eliza: Here, do you want to talk to Charlene?
Lamar: That would be extremely nice if I did.
Eliza: Well Miss Cheekbones is here with me. So I'll tell her.
Then Eliza tried to get Charlene's attention.
Eliza: (giving the wireless phone to Charlene.) Oh Charlene.
Charlene: Yeah, Eliza?
Eliza: (hands the phone to Charlene.) For you, Miss Smiling Puerto Rican beauty pagent. It's your friend Lamar.
Charlene: (slapped one of her cheekbones across her face very hard and grunted.) UMM! I can't believe he actually called here! I am so very proud of him! Give me the phone, will you, Eliza?
Eliza: (gives it to her.) Here you are.
Charlene: What's up, Lamar! How are you doing, Kiddo?!
Lamar: I'm really trying to hang in there, Charlene. I swear to God. I really must get out of my stepsister's factor with the bad people here, and this nasty apartment before things start to get any worse here, and before my mean stepsister starts coming up with many bad ways to get me in trouble with the law, and have my life and all of my dreams come to a quick end.
Charlene: Well hang in there, dude! I'm coming to get you right now so that we can help you breathe again, and give you the greatest adventure you've always been looking for a very long time. So just hold tight, my dear friend! I'm on my way there now!
Lamar: I'll be waiting. Thank you, Charlene.
Charlene: You're quite welcome, babe. I'm coming.
As Lamar shuts off his smart phone after talking to both Eliza and Charlene, Charlene tells Eliza she's heading out to get Lamar so that he can have a great life, and some good friends to be with as well. When Charlene walked past the computer room away from the office, everybody said hello to Charlene. And Charlene showing her cheekbones with a great smile on her face said hello to them right back.
Willona: Hey Charlene! Are you on your way to pick up Lamar?
Charlene: Yes I am, Willona. Besides, he does not need to be couped up in that nasty apartment building with those damn thieving villans. He needs an adventure for himself for good behavior.
Willona: Well I want to meet this guy Lamar too.
Charlene: You'll get to meet him when I bring him here with me, Willona. I promise.
Willona: Okay.
And Charlene went on her way to get Lamar.
As Charlene went straight to the elevators, heading down to the first floor straight over to the parking lot to get into her shiny new silver two door, four seat 2012 and a half Saturn. She starts the car, leaves the NYPD parking lot, heads down the roads to pick up Lamar Dawkins. While Charlene was driving, she pulls out one of her CDs, puts it in the slot, and some Puerto Rican salsa music from back in the sixties was playing in there with a Spanish song by Celia Cruz. So Charlene started singing along with the music in Spanish.
Meanwhile, Lamar is just about ready for Charlene to come pick him up to show him a real great time of his life with a smile on his face. He was also hoping that Nafisa and her rotten gang do not come home first before Charlene ever gets here.
Lamar: Aw man! I sure hope Nafisa, Dirt-B, and the rest of that nasty gang don't get any ideas of coming home first and keeping me on display here all the time before Charlene gets here to getme. No telling what those creeps would do to mess me up bad.
Suddenly, Lamar heard a knock over by the front door of the living room. So Lamar went to answer it right away.
Lamar I sure hope it's Charlene at the door, and not anyone else.
So Lamar eagerly opened the front door hoping it's not one of the bad people getting ready to take him away to kill him. But when he opened the door wide finally, it was Charlene Melendez. They both started smiling at each other, giving each other a great big hug because Lamar knew that Charlene was going to come and give him the best times of his life from all misery, and humiliation.
Charlene: Que pasa, amigo?! What's happening, dude?!
Lamar: Wow! You made it, girl! I thought you would never get here! But you came, I'm so glad!
Charlene: Thank you, Lamar. I'm glad too. So are you ready for a way cool adventure of your lifetime?
Lamar: Ready when you are, Miss Cheekbones!
Charlene: Okay! Let's rock and roll! Shall we?
Lamar: Right on!
Then Lamar and Charlene left that sticky apartment building, and were on their way.
But meanwhile over at Spanish Harlem, Nafisa, Dirt-B, and the rest of those other meanies went over to the Spanish Harlem Latin Fiesta to the big main stage to see if The Pintos are going to come here and play for everybody while they were all getting Puerto Rican, and Mexican food from sixteen of the booths, and the Hispanic kids and teenagers were at the young latins entertainment stage farther to the left of a couple of buildings. The young latinos, and the young Latinas, not to mention the Spanish kids were waiting for some cool entertainment for the young people on that stage while listening to a cool hit song from that stage from Victoria Justice which is called "Make It Shine" from the Victorious television soundtrack from the Nickelodeon cable television network. Some of the Spanish teenagers were dancing up a storm to one of Victoria's songs from the show. And Make It Shine was it!
Meanwhile over at the big main stage, Nafisa and the gang were waiting for the show to start. Then Nafisa talks to the gang for a bit.
Nafisa: Hey yo, now when the Latin men start doing their thing, when their final act is over, we're gonna show them some real jams, and give everybody else to stop this Mango Santamaria shit, and start getting into our jive, and follow our leads of being like us, and making sure they all do it all right. Because if they don't, we'll kill them all. Are y'all with me on this?!
Everybody: Yo, we're down with you all the way, Nafisa!
Nafisa: Cool! As soon as them Tito Rodriguez salsa men get here on this here stage to play, as it ends, we'll rule them all! Am I right, Dirt-B?
Dirt-B: Yo, I'm jinky with it, Nafisa! As Salt'n'Peppa would say, "Push it good!"
Crab: HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! Brotha, you done said a damn mouthful!
Dirt-B: Yeah, that's right! I'm bad! (Laughing.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Moose: We're all bad, Dirt-B!
And the two nasty boys started laughing like ignorant plan jumping fools with such stupid nonsense, nor any common sense. Suddenly, some beautiful Puerto Rican Latin lady in her twenties with olive/bronze skin, high cheekbones, long black hair, and a very pretty, deep low, and way cool New York City tomboyish voice accent came up on stage to talk to everybody on the microphone on stage.
The Latin lady: Hey! Buenos Tarde, Amigos! Como estas?! How's everybody doing today?!
Everybody: MUY BIEN!
Nafisa: (to the Latin lady.) GIRL, KISS NY BLACK PERFECT ASS! YOU HISPANIC JIVE SHAKIRA FREAKS ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF DAMN JENNIFER LOPEZ, FANIA NUTCASES! I DON'T KNOW WHO INVENTED Y'ALL! Y'ALL SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BORN NO WAY! HUH?!
Tha Latin lady: Are you all ready to get your salsa freak on?!
Everybody: YEAH!
Nafisa and her gang: NO!
The Latin lady: Alright! Well allow me to introduce myself to all of you! My name is Annette Sanchez, and I am with the New York City Spanish culture Latin entertainment fund raising staff for the lonely men with no women to love them, nor be with them, and they need our help to encourage them with positive people and dates to take good care of them with a lot of great things they really need and want to make them happy so they're not being lonely as much! I know women go through the same thing too! But this fund raiser program is only for the men, and the men only that need our help! Sorry, ladies. And I've been in this business for twelve years and I love helping the men that need female role models that would be there for them whenever they need us! And they don't nessacerely need to be Spanish like us either! They can be any nationality, color, race, anybody! We don't care! That's where I come in! I'm their main hero, and general manager!
Everybody: YOU GO, ANNETTE!
Nafisa: TAKE A HIKE, YOU SPANISH MERENGE BITCH!
The Latin lady: And if for some reason that some of you lonely men out there watching right that need our support of a great miracle that you really want into your lives immediately, please come and see me after the show is over.
Dirt-B: (to the Latin lady.) Yo, up yours, Miss Peanut Butter skinned slut with the cheekbones!
The Latin lady: (to all of her audience. Now before we get started with our show, I have some more announcements to make, at least three of them.
Then, three good couples, or at least, four good couples came over to Spanish Harlem to catch this Hispanic party event with the Spanish people as well to catch The Pintos out here as well were none other than two of the most coolest, strongest, and very beautiful, and pretty Hispanic female detectives around with the cheekbones, and their male BFFs, Eliza Annette Alvarez, and Charlene Melendez, with Lamar Dawkins, and Eliza's real cool boyfriend, Joes Arevalo. They all came to this Hispanic event for the fun together.
Lamar: Wow, y'all! I've never seen such a crazy event like this before in my life with a lot of Spanish people around here. I like this, and so many beautiful Spanish women.
Charlene: It's really cool, Lamar. I go to these type of fiestas with my family all over the world all the time. And because of the fact that I'm Puerto Rican, also Irish, and English, I love every single minute of it too.
Eliza: And you're gonna love this too, Lamar. Plenty of my friends, and family members come here every year for these things, including my favorite boyfriend. Right, Jose?
Jose: Si, muchacha. And Lamar, this will also help change your life in the future because Annette Sanchez is hosting the whole show here, and we love it!
Lamar: Who is Annette Sanchez?
Charlene: Annette Sanchez is another Puerto Rican cute girl with the cheekbones besides mine is the woman in charge of this support place for men who are down on their luck financially, have no job, no friends, no future, no woman wants them at all in their lives, trying to do a career for themselves, but couldn't make it for the world, and everything else that upsets them, and messes them up, Annette always comes to their rescue to help them all, and she wants to help you too. That's why we brought you here.
Lamar: Do you think she'll help me find some good people to live with, parents, roommates, or what not?
Eliza: You got it all right in the noggin, Lamar! She'll even help look for you a job, hook you up with plenty of good friends to really be with that can really be your BFFs for life, help support you with the next time you go back to college, and even take the time with Annette herself, just the two of you so that she can also get to know you extremely well, and help you out of a bad jam that you are in right now.
Charlene: We've known Annette for so many times now. And she's a real cool woman. One day, my cousin Pablo had some dreams and goals that he wants to come into his life that would make him happy which hadn't even happen yet. That's when Annette came by to help him.
Jose: Annette's a good sport. You'll like her, Lamar.
Eliza: She's down to earth, friendly, funny, very outgoing, and she's very rich, and also believes in God just like we do.
Lamar: So do I! I've been saying my prayers everyday for good peace.
Charlene: And you've got good peace right here with us, Lamar. Don't ever forget that.
Lamar: I won't. (He laughs, and the good people laugh with him.) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Suddenly from up front of the stage, Mooky looked around everybody else around this fiesta, then looked around again and he spotted Lamar with Charlene, Eliza, and Jose (Eliza's main squeeze.)
Mooky: Holy shit!
Then Mooky turned back then grabbed Nafisa's attention about her younger stepbrother Lamar, and his new heroic friends, except Jose because he's not strong to fight, neither is Lamar.
Mooky: (to Nafisa.) Hey yo, Nafisa. If you can hear me, girl.
Nafisa: Yo, what's up, Mooky?
Mooky: Girlfriend, you ain't gonna believe me if I tell you this right now, but I've just spotted your lover Lamar up in the farther back with that dumb Puerto Rican cheek girl and two others.
Nafisa: (hurting mad!) SAY WHAT?! DAMN IT! THE HELL!
And Nafisa turned around to look way in the back to see if Lamar is there with Charlene, Eliza, and her boyfriend Jose.
Nafisa: (to Mooky.) Where exactly did you see Lamar, huh, Mooky? I don't see that boy anywhere, not even with that Puerto Rican cheekbones chick! (Then she finally spotted Lamar with Charlene, Eliza, and Jose.) Wait! There's that fool with that salsa queen with the cheeks! And he even has got a lot of nerves to be with another Hispanic chick with cheekbones also, with some Spanish dude with them! I thought we done told that little nothing to stay at home and not go nowhere with nobody!
Dirt-B: (to Nafisa.) Who are you talking about, Nafisa?
Nafisa: Just look behind you, Dirt-B, to the way back row of the audience. That stupid trainee of yours had just betrayed us with his stupid sabotaging standards again!
Dirt-B: (angry.) MAN, WHAT THE HELL! DIDN'T WE TELL THAT CLOWN TO STAY THE HELL AT HOME WHILE WE GO OUT?! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE MINDING YOU AS HIS LOVER, AND ME AS HIS BOSS! We need to get him away from them losers RIGHT NOW!
Nafisa: Tell you what, Dirt-B, we'll take care of those creeps later. Right now, I want to check out these crazy salsa men with their trash, after this, we'll give it to them big time!
Then Annette Sanchez was done with announcements, and starts greeting The Pintos Band.
Annette Sanchez: Okay, amigos! Are you all ready to salsa, merenge, and get your groove on, or what?!
Everybody: YEAH!
Nafisa: (to Annette.) Girlfriend, why don't you, and your Desi Arnez bunch, along with Roselyn Sanchez start something here to kill y'all selves!
Annette: Okay, everyone! Here's the moment you all have been waiting for! Fresh out from right here in New York City from the Bronx, these hombres know how to get everybody to party big! So here they are "Riccardo, Bernardo, Miguel, Tito, Pablo, and Diego, "THE PINTOS!" GIVE THEM A HAND, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
And everybody clapped for them to get started, and there are the boys all very gorgeous, cute, and very handsome looking. Riccardo is on the timbales, Bernardo is on the conga drums, Miguel is on the bongo drums, Tito is on the keyboards, Pablo is on the electric bass guitar, and last but not least, Diego is on the morocas. Eliza, Charlene, Lamar, and Jose were rooting for The Pintos too.
Lamar: You know something, guys? I've never heard of The Pintos before. And I do listen to all kinds of music from around the world, and music here in the states. I like just about everything, except for rap music, unless the rap music happens to be clean, and not dirty.
Charlene: Well you will sure to love The Pintos, Lamar. In fact, I've got their first CD when I first moved here and they're very cool.
Lamar: I bet! There ain't no better life like this life!
Eliza: Uh-uh! As a matter of fact, this is most definitely a living!
Jose: I'm with all of you all the way!
Then the lead singer Riccardo is about to speak.
Riccardo: Buenos tardes, amigos, senors, y senoras!
Everybody: YAY!
Riccardo: Are you all having fun so far?!
Riccardo: Alright! We have just came up with some new material stuff we wrote on our newest, and latest CD! And one of the songs on that CD that we are going to play for you right now is based off of a cute, adorable, pretty, and gorgeous sexy Puerto Rican hottie with the cheekbones who is now one of our biggest fans, and she's here in this audience right now as a detective, but she's still in college doing other things like she wants to act, sing, dance, write songs, and be a disc jockey for parties, and weddings!
Nafisa: (to Riccardo.) Yeah, I know who the hell you're talking about, fool! This girl you is talking about happens to be right here around this audience and right now! And she's way up in the back with my stupid stepbrother Lamar, along with two other people with them! DAMMIT!
Riccardo: Charlene Melendez, this song goes out to you, Miss Cheekbones, because you've been our truly number one fan for such a long time!
Charlene: I can't believe it! They're talking about me! Hey, Riccardo! I love you!
Riccardo: (heard her.) I love you too, Charlene! And this is called "The Melendez Salsa!"
Everybody: YAY! YAY!
Riccardo: COME ON PEOPLE! EVERYBODY UP! WE'RE GONNA BE WORKING UP A SWEAT! UNO! DOS! TRES! QUATRO!
And everybody started getting up from out of their seats, headed straight down to the dancefloor, and they all started to dance to this new salsa hit of an E9TH chord song. It's an Azucar Pa Ti like fast paced, four count jamming, swinging, Hispanic salsa hit dedicated to Charlene Melendez in the Melendez salsa. Charlene, Lamar, Eliza, and Jose were in the dancefloor with the others dancing to this new salsa, merenge beat from The Pintos. But Lamar does not know how to salsa at all. That's why Charlene is his dance partner, and showing Lamar how to salsa.
Charlene: Okay, Lamar. The first thing you do id first move your feet like this. Watch me.
Then Charlene started moving her feet just like the Puerto Rican salsa pro. Lamar watched her carefully, then he even started to try it getting into the fun with her and everybody else. Charlene tagged along with him while watching him very carefully to see how he's doing.
Lamar: How am I doing here, Charlene?
Charlene: You're doing great, Lamar! You're a real cool salsa king!
Lamar: Thanks!
And the band still played, and Riccardo started to sing with the band switching the chord to a G major for a moment for Riccardo to sing his part.
Riccardo: (in Spanish.) Who's the girl we all love the most?
She's been in our lives from coast to coast.
She didn't yet fit in anywhere for she was almost shy.
That was until help came to her and now she's flying high!
People introduced themselves to her, and she did the same for them back.
Now we all know just how cute she is and we know just where it's at.
She's now very famous as a cop, but the haters don't care about her.
But this pretty girl, she doesn't care. She knows good things came straight to
Her!
Charlene: (slapped her face very hard!) UNH! That's me they're singing about!
Then the band played the wild stuff again, but kept it into the G major chord, but only for a short while, until they change it back into the E9TH chord again. And they all started singing in that band. But Nafisa, Dirt-B, and the rest of her nasty gang didn't join the dance party at all. They just stood there looking very sour seeing everybody having such a great time dancing to The Pintos' new song. Nafisa started judging the song, the band, and the people dancing over there to herself.
Nafisa: Jesus Christ! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! SHIT!
And Riccardo and his band started singing.
The band: Everybody, dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: You know she is now our superstar!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: The girl is going to go real far!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
The band: This cool chick's got quite some style!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She'll be in our hearts for a whole lot while!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She's the girl you want to hang with and call her on the phone!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: And we couldn't keep our eyes off her high cheekbones!
Charlene: You guys like my cheekbones?!
Nafisa: (to the band on stage.) SCREW YOU!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She's more hotter than any American girl!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She helps you out whenever your head goes in a whirl!
And the band did the instrumental part on this show. First, they made the music mellow for quite twenty five seconds, then it started to get wild again after that, this time real wild! And Charlene started going crazy with Lamar dancing with her!
Charlene: BRRRRRRRRRRRRR, HAHAHAAAA! (Now in Spanish.) This is all too cool, and I love every minute of it! YEAH!
Eliza: So Jose, when is this Mexican band coming downtown?
Jose: You know, Eliza, I can't remember off hand. The flyer is at my house at home. So as soon as this fiesta is all over, I'm heading straight home to my room, look at it again, the date, and time, and invite you, Charlene, and Lamar to come along with us. So I'll let you know tomorrow morning.
Eliza: Awesome! We all can't wait! After we're done dancing, I'll tell Charlene; Miss Cheekbones, and our friend Lamar and see if they can come with us as well.
Jose: Cool! (He started checking out Charlene and Lamar.) Wow! Looks like your best friend and her black male friend are getting along great.
Eliza: Oh, they've been getting aquainted with each other for days now, dancing, laughing, and talking up a storm. Charlene really likes Lamar, and so do I because he's such a real true down to earth sweetheart for a black man.
Jose: Yes he is. I think Lamar deserves to be with a pretty woman like Miss Cheekbones herself; Charlene Melendez. That's why the band is playing her song.
Eliza: Well I've got high cheekbones too, Jose. And you happen to like the same qualities like that in a beautiful woman as well just like Lamar does. That's why my partner Charlene's got him just like you've got me. Don't forget that, muchacho.
Jose: (smiling.) I won't Eliza. Not at all. Besides, you're the only girl for me.
Eliza: (smiling back.) And you're the only boy for me.
And Eliza and Jose stared kissing each other long, non stop. Suddenly, the band; The Pintos started to sing again.
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She's the queen of the cool!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: And she's nobody's fool!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She's more funnier than Woody Woodpecker and Scooby Doo!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: She does all weird and freaky things for me and you!
Dirt-B: (to Riccardo of the band.) BULLSHIT, LATIN MASHER!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Then the keyboards man plays a short solo, then the band sings again.
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
The man plays another quick solo on his keyboard piano again. Then the band sings again.
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Nafisa: Hey yo, we ain't gonna dance to any of that damn salsa shit!
The keyboard man plays another quick solo, and the band sings again.
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Then the keyboard player plays his last quick solo, then the band sings again followed by Riccardo again.
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: That's just exactly what we're gonna do!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: Great encouragement for me and you!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Riccardo: Mambo mambo Charlene mambo!
The band: Everybody dance to the Melendez salsa!
Then the band started doing the big finish back to the G major to the very end, and saying something good for Charlene in Spanish.
Riccardo: (in Spanish.) Charlene, you really have touched our hearts big time, and we thank you!
Then the band did a great big ending of this song, everybody clapped and cheered because they were all dancing to this salsa hit dedicated to Charlene Melendez, and they love it a lot! All except for Nafisa and her gang. Now Nafisa and those crooks started shooting at the band, the band started running for their lives, everyone else got frightened because of Nafisa and her gang, even Lamar her younger stepbrother was scared as well, plus, he didn't even know that Nafisa and those crooks were going to be there as well to start a lot of trouble for the Spanish people at that fiesta at Spanish Harlem.
Lamar: (scared stiff!) Hey, that's my stepsister Nafisa and her drug addict gang starting trouble for everybody again! I didn't even know that they were gonna be here too! What gives!
Nafisa: ALRIGHT, I WANT ALL OF Y'ALL DAMN MEXICAN, AND PUERTO RICAN LOSERS TO DO WHAT I SAY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE'RE TAKING OVER THIS DAMN TOWN, AND AIN'T NOTHING GONNA STOP US! WE'RE BETTER THAN Y'ALL IS, AT LEAST I'M BETTER THAN Y'ALL IS!
Eliza: Jose, you and Lamar stay right here while me and Charlene deal with Nafisa and her sabotaging bunch!
Lamar: But what about meeting Annette Sanchez?
Eliza: We'll take care of that later. Right now, me and Charlene have a job to do.
Jose: Go for it, ladies.
Eliza: Come on, Charlene. Let's deal with these psychopaths.
Charlene: You got it, Eliza. And Lamar, I've got all of your information which I'll give to Annette later on. So when I hear from her, you'll hear all of that from me first. Okay?
Lamar: No problem.
So Eliza and Charlene go straight up front to put an end to Nafisa's threat to the Spanish people, and the whole fiesta everyone loves.
Lamar: They better be careful, Jose. I'm worried about them so. Nafisa's the strongest girl in all of New York City, and she kills cops and detectives for fun big time.
Jose: It's okay, Lamar. The girls know exactly what they're doing. They're cops, and they're tough girls. So I believe they're gonna be alright.
Lamar: Well I hope so, man. Because no telling what Nafisa just might do to them just to come after me again. I hate violence, and I hate pain.
Eliza and Charlene came quickly to the front of the stage, pulled out their guns and badges to stop Nafisa and her gang from doing harm to others.
Eliza: FREEZE, NAFISA! POLICE!
Charlene: NAFISA, YOU AND YOUR GANG COME ALONG WITH US QUIETLY! You're all under arrest!
Nafisa: IN Y'ALL'S DAMN DREAMS, LATIN BITCHES! (Now to her gang.) GET 'EM, Y'ALL!
Nafisa and her gang started shooting at Eliza and Charlene, but the girls jumped away from their bullets and started fighting those nasty gang criminals. Everyone else was very frightened that they all ran from the Spanish fiesta, and so did The Pintos band.
Moose: KEEP ON TRUCKIN' BABY!
Then Moose joins in on the fight. Nafisa "while she was fighting the two beautiful detectives, and other cops with uniforms" had spotted Lamar with Jose way in the back trying to make their way up front to touch base with Annette Sanchez for help. So Nafisa started running straight to the middle in the back of the people pushing them down without saying excuse me to them just to stop Lamar from going to Annette. Nafisa was as mad as a raging bull.
Nafisa: LAMAR! LAMAR! BOY, I'M GONNA GET YOU! DIDN'T WE TELL YOU TO STAY AT HOME WHILE WE GO OUT, HUH?! AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU COME OFF GOING TO ANOTHER PUERTO RICAN GIRL NAME THAT SLINKY ANNETTE WHAT'S HER STUPID FACE?! YOU AIN'T GETTING ANYTHING FROM HER!
Lamar: (to Jose.) Jose, Nafisa just spotted me way up here, and even saw me going to Annette Sanchez! Now she's coming here to get me! Where are the girls?! I don't see them up front anywhere!
Jose: Just calm down, Lamar. Okay? The girls are not too far gone at all, and Charlene said she'd get a hold of Annette Sanchez for you. I have my faith in them, and you should too.
Nafisa: (grabbed Lamar's right arm.) There you are, boy! You were not supposed to be going anywhere with nobody! (Now pointing at Jose talking to Lamar.) Not even weird folks like him!
Jose: (to Nafisa.) Hey, who are you calling a weird folk, muchacha?! I'm only Mexican!
Nafisa: (to Jose.) I don't care what you are, fool! And just where in the hell do you come off calling me such a Goddamn name like muchacha?! Boy, I ought to tear your damn head off for that!
Lamar: NAFISA, LET GO OF ME! I AM HERE WITH SOME GOOD HISPANIC PEOPLE! I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK HOME WITH YOU GUYS IN THAT OLD NASTY BUILDING! THAT'S WHY I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO ANNETTE SANCHEZ!
Dirt-B: (came up to the middle as well just to comfront with Lamar.) BOY, DO YOU REALIZE YOU'VE JUST SABOTOGED OUR FUTURE BY YOU GOING OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE INSTEAD OF BEING WITH US?! AND YOU AIN'T GOING OVER TO NO ANNETTE SANCHEZ, OR WHOEVER THAT WEIRD GIRL IS EITHER BECAUSE WE AIN'T GONNA LET YOU AT ALL!
Lamar: (to Dirt-B.) CAN IT, DIRT-B! YOU'VE BEEN EVEN MY WORST NIGHTMARE THAN MY STEPSISTER FOR SO LONG NOW! AND I'M GETTING REALLY TIRED OF THIS SHIT Y'ALL TRYING TO LAY ON ME, AND THAT IS NOT COOL!
Jose: (to Nafisa and Dirt-B.) You two need to clear out of here right now!
Nafisa: We ain't doing shit for you, boy! Don't go telling us what to do!
Dirt-B: Yeah, you started tellin' us that damn garbage again, your next words will be your last!
Then Eliza and Charlene came over to Nafisa and Dirt-B just to stop them from doing any harm to Lamar and Jose.
Charlene: Nafisa, hold it right there! Both of you!
Nafisa and Dirt-B took their guns out at the girls as well just to threaten them with negative grief.
Nafisa: No, y'all hold it right there! (Now both Dirt-B and Nafisa point their guns on Lamar's head.) Y'all take one damn step further near any of us, this little dude gets it with this!
Dirt-B: So we want both of y'all oliveskinned Mexican witches with them damn cheekbones of y'all's to clear on out of here while y'all can!
Charlene: Hey, I'm Puerto Rican! Eliza's Mexican!
Dirt-B: We don't give a damn what y'all is! Y'all both the same related shit!
Nafisa: That's right! And we is taking Lamar with us from now on, and nobody else is taking him no where no more!
Lamar: Forget it, Nafisa! And you too, Dirt-B! I ain't going with none of y'all! Alright?! So LET ME GO!
Nafisa & Dirt-B: (to Lamar.) NO!
Nafisa: (to Lamar.) And you ain't got no damn right being with them crazy Spanish folks no way when we all told you to STAY AT HOME!
Dirt-B: (to Lamar also.) FOOL! We could've gotten all messed up with our future by the police because of you! What the hell exactly were you thinking, huh boy?!
Lamar: What I'm really thinking at this point is YOU GUYS ARE HIDDEOUS RUTHLESS MONSTERS!
Eliza: You both let go of Lamar RIGHT NOW!
But Nafisa, and Dirt-B took Lamar away from the two Hispanic female detectives with the cheekbones, and other police, especially all the other Spanish people, went straight to a parking lot where Nafisa parked her old beat up 1969 ½ red Pontiac GTO, the rest of her gang came there too with their cars to get in on right now, along with Lamar on Nafisa's car with Dirt-B with them. Lamar started screaming for help from Charlene and Eliza, including Jose; Eliza's boyfriend.
Lamar: CHARLENE! ELIZA! AND JOSE TOO! HELP ME!
Nafisa & Dirt-B: (to Lamar.) SHUT UP, BOY!
Ball: Hey Nafisa! What do you want us all to do when we go back home?
Nafisa: We're all gonna teach my dumb stepbrother a lesson first off!
Dirt-B: Or should we say "Stepbother" because he bothers all of us, and everybody else with his futureless dreamy nonsense he thinks it'll all come true into his life, and it never will!
Mooky: Yeah, y'all! The creep needs to be taught some realistic future dream manners!
Nafisa: (to Lamart.) Did you hear that, Lamar?! You just ain't got no right bein' with anybody else ever, not even Spanish wierdos, and those two cheekbones Spanish ladies are the worst!
Lamar: They maybe the worst to you, Nafisa! But they sure as hell are no bad influences to me! You are, (To Dirt-B,) And so are you, Dirt-B!
So Nafisaand Dirt-B put Lamar in the car, closes the doors, locked them, Nafisa started the car, drove away from the parking lot, and straight to the streets real fast like a flying jet. Her gang did the same thing with their cars. Eliza, Charlene, and Jose with the girls inside Charlene's silver two door, four seat 2012 ½ Saturn with a police radar of her own on top of the car waiting for Nafisa and her gang to come, and Charlene and her friends went and followed them around with her own radar flashing on top of her car on the crooks real fast.
Eliza: Oh how I can't believe that Nafisa would start to stoop so damn low like this! She is such a shit dog!
Smarty: Aw shit! How did them Spanish girls find us like that?! Well I'm gonna show them!
So Smarty used a grenede, opened it up, and threw it at them, and other policemen in their police cars.
Charlene: SHIT! I knew one of Nafisa' slinky dykes was going to throw a stupid grenede at us because it just hit one of the police cars! And that would be car 67!
Eliza: Well I think it's time we start fighting fire with fire!
Charlene: You're right, Eliza! I'm ready to open up a can of whoopass on that Nafisa bitch!
And they did just that! Eliza used her big boom gun, aimed it straight at Nafisa and the rest of her gang, shot at Nafisa's car first, but missed because the bomb hit the ground.
Dirt-B: Man, now what's up?!
Nafisa: It's them shit Latina cheekbones cops again! They even have some Goddamn nerves shooting shitty bombs at us now!
Lamar: Well guess what! Y'all are in trouble now! What have y'all to say about that, huh?!
Nafisa: (snapped at Lamar.) SHUT UP, BOY! DO YOU HEAR ME?! WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR DAMN MOUTH NO MORE! WE TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE, THAT EDUCATIONAL NONSENSE IN YOUR DAMN HEAD FROM THAT DUMB SCHOOL YOU GO TO, AND SEEING THAT PUERTO RICAN CHICAGO COLLEGE TORI VEGA LOOK ALIKE WENCH!
Dirt-B: (to Lamar.) Boy, we need to talk about you betraying us for those damn Mexican bimbos that you ain't got no business being with at all because you're not good enough for them, nor ANYBODY!
Lamar: (to Dirt-B.) YOU JIVE DUDE! YOU TWO ARE JUST SAYING THAT SHIT JUST TO PUT ME ON DISPLAY AWAY FROM EVERYBODY JUST TO DO ME TOO MUCH DAMN HARM! AIN'T NONE OF THAT SHIT IS TRUE! HELP, CHARLENE!
They all continued racing around the streets of New York City from Time Square to the parks and all other parts of the city shooting at each other, throwing bombs, driving through alleys everywhere knocking everything down, blowing everything down with bombs and stuff like that. While the crooks were trying to defeat the two beautiful Hispanic detectives and other policemen in their police cars from the NYPD, Lamar started crying in tears realizing what Nafisa and the crooks are going to do to hurt him next.
Lamar: (crying and hurting inside.) I swear to you, Nafisa, and Dirt-B, you also! You evil, stuck up, snotty villanist rats will not ever, or even think about getting away with this NASTY CRAPPY JIVE TIME TURKEY SHIT! NOT NOW! NOT EVER! IN FACT, Y'ALL REALLY NEED TO GET A LIFE IF YOU KNOW WHAT GOOD FOR Y'ALL!
Nafisa and her gang finally made it back home to that nasty broken down apartment building to where they belong, parked their cars on the streets near by, went straight upstairs to their apartment, sat Lamar in a chair in the living room, tied him up with a big rope, and Nafisa started raving at him while the whole gang watched it all so that they can laugh at him very silly.
Nafisa: BOY, JUST WHERE IN THE HELL DO YOU COME OFF LEAVING HERE WITH THOSE LATIN EXPLOSION WIERDOS, HUH?! I KNOW THAT JENNIFER LOPEZ ACTION FIGURE WITH THEM GODDAMN HIGH CHEEKBONES, EVEN THOUGH SHE DON'T LOOK LIKE J-LO, SHE LOOKS LIKE THAT OTHER PUERTO RICAN FROM THAT OTHER TV SHOW ONLY MADE FOR KIDS, AND NOT ADULTS! SHE HAS TREATED YOU TO THAT SPANISH SHIT, AND YOU WENT OUT WITH HER AGAIN! DID YOU?!
Lamar: What about it, huh girl?! WHAT ABOUT IT, DAMMIT?! For your information, Nafisa, I've got a THING for Spanish girls! I like them a lot, including Europeans, Asians, Canadians, Britishes, and many others just like that! I always have a fetish for olive skinned girls with high cheekbones, beautiful, pretty, attractive, sexy, and truly great BFFs for me ever since I was a little kid! Plus, I've always wanted a woman like that to do my weird fetishes for me so that I can get a hug, a kiss, and all that other damn good stuff for so long! And I finally found her! She maybe born in the land of Lincoln, and not of this Empire State, but she's here in New York now! My future Hispanic gal pal and role model is here! That chick has been the answer to one of my prayers all these times, and you're not! I'm a child of God, not of man! DO YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!
Nafisa: So you really got a thing for this Hispanic, Puerto Rican Roselyn Sanchez acting, Victoria what's her face look alike woman who looks just exactly like that Spanish female kids hero star from that damn kids TV show from one of the kids television networks, am I right?!
Lamar: Yeah, you're damn tootened that I am into her, and not you because you're just only my stepsister! And it's not right to fall in love with your family home siblings like that! That's crazy, uncomfortable, and too very dangerous! Not cool, Nafisa! Not cool!
Dirt-B: The little geek just turned against us, Nafisa!
Nafisa: (to her ladies gang.) Okay! Shriek! Smarty! Ball! All you ladies!
Gum: What's up, Nafisa?
Nafisa: I need y'all to do something for me.
Ball: What do you want us to do?
Nafisa: I want y'all to give Lamar the entertainment that would teach him a lesson of double crossing us with those damn cool chicks that are just not so cool to any of us at all. Okay?
And the five bad girls did just that. They all formed a line with each other, getting ready to give Lamar a very bad issue that would really make him feel more hurting, and agitated.
The five bad girls: Lamar and the Puerto Rican sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
They could never settle for any other
So the girl slaps her face, and they do each other!
And they all started laughing at him, calling him all bunch of very nasty names. And Lamar was not very happy about any of this at all. So he started raving at them.
Lamar: HEY YO, JUST WHERE IN THE HELL DO Y'ALL COME OFF SAYING THESE DAMN LIES ABOUT ME AND CHARLENE LIKE THAT, HUH?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF CHARLENE HAS ANY KIND OF INTEREST IN ME JUST YET! YO, THAT'S BULLSHIT! WE'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS FOR RIGHT NOW! ALRIGHT?! Y'ALL NEED TO TAKE THAT CRAZY MESS SOMEPLACE ELSE! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!
Dirt-B: Just friends?! BULLSHIT! You and that windy city Puerto Rican female cop with the cheekbones are happening to be more than that shit!
Nafisa: I swear!
Smarty: (to Nafisa.) So what do you want us to do now, Nafisa?
Gum: Do you want us to slap him left and right across his stupid face for being with people he shouldn't be with ever?
Nafisa: Naw, y'all, that's cool. Me, Dirt-B, and my boyfriend Moose will take it all from here. The rest of y'all stay here! Okay? (To Moose.) Come on, Moose!
Moose: (to Nafisa.) I'm with you all the way, my dear.
So Nafisa starts to untie Lamar from the ropes, grabbed him, send him to his room, slammed the door at his face again, and Nafisa, and Dirt-B started raving at him some more.
Nafisa: BOY, YOU DID IT AGAIN! DID YOU?!
Moose: (to Lamar.) You and those stupid dreams of yours against everybody! When are you ever going to start learning things in life of the 21ST century around here, boy?!
Lamar: I DON'T KNOW WHAT Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT! AND Y'ALL NEED TO QUIT RUNNING MY LIFE DOWN WITH Y'ALL STUPID NEGATIVE BAD ADVICES ON ME LIKE THIS! THAT'S VERY INAPPROPIATE, AND EXTREMELY DISGRACEFUL!
Nafisa: BOY, WE'RE TALKING HERE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU NEED TO HUSH YO' DAMN MOUTH!
Dirt-B: (to Lamar.) THIS IS WHY NOBODY WANTS TO BE AROUND YOU AS MUCH AT ALL IS BECAUSE YOU KEEP DOING, DREAMING, TALKING, THINKING, FIGURING OUT, AND TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT TOO MANY THINGS YOU ALWAYS DO THAT DON'T MAKE ANY KIND OF SENSE EVER! WHY DO YOU DO THINGS LIKE THIS TO HURT PEOPLE AND NOT HELP ANY OF US HERE IN NEW YORK CITY, HUH?! YOU'RE ROBBING OTHER PEOPLE'S FUTURE! THAT AIN'T RIGHT, DUMMY!
Nafisa: I TOLD YOU, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE BEING YOURSELF! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CHANGE FOR EVERYBODY AND GET INTO THEIR THANGS, AND DO OF THEIR EXPECTATIONS AND NOT YOURS ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, BOY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
Lamar: NO! NO! I'M NOT DOING SUCH DAMN CRAZY THINGS LIKE THAT BECAUSE CHANGING FOR PEOPLE IS MURDER, AND GOD DOES NOT LIKE MURDER OF ANY KIND, AND THAT INCLUDES THAT! SO Y'ALL NEED TO GO ABOUT YOUR OWN NASTY BUSINESS AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
Nafisa: (went up to Lamar and punched his face in hard with her right fist!) DON'T BLASPHEME LIKE THAT ON US, BOY!
Dirt-B: (to Lamar.) BOY, PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT ARE NOT HUMAN AT ALL OUGHT TO ROT IN HELL FOR GETTING YOUR HOPES TOO HIGH ON OTHER PEOPLE'S ACCOUNTS BY BEING WITH JIVE TALKING MONSTERS LIKE THOSE TWO LATIN TOUGH GIRLS WITH THE GODDAMN CHEEKBONES!
Moose: And that stupid Latin dude of course! Those are the type and kind of people you really need to stay away from and don't go anywhere near them anymore. You really need to stay with us. We've got your future right here. You don't need to be with other nationalities. That's bad. That's not healthy to others.
Nafisa: BOY, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DID TO EVERYBODY HERE IN NEW YORK?!
Dirt-B: YOU HAVE SABOTOGED EVERYBODY'S FUTURE PLANS WITH YOUR BEING YOURSELF NONSENSE SHIT TO PEOPLE, AND THEY DON'T LIKE THAT!
Nafisa: NIETHER DO WE, STUPID! YOUR FUTURE IS TO BE LIKE US AND A MACHO MAN HERO LIKE DIRT-B, A LOT OF THOSE SUPERSTAR HEROS, AND TO MARRY ME BECAUSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THAT GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS AS YOUR WIFE TO BE, NOT SOME DUMB SPANISH FEMALE, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR STEPSISTER ANYMORE! I WANT TO BE YOUR WIFE! YOUR WIFE THAT WANTS A SUPERHERO, NOT SOME NERDY GEEKY ZERO! AND YOU CANNOT DO THIS TYPE OF GARBAGE TO US ANYMORE! DO YOU HEAR ME, BOY?! YOU CANNOT DO THIS NASTY TRASHY SHIT TO US BY JUST BEING YOURSELF AND LOVING YOURSELF ANYMORE!
Dirt-B: You'll never amount to anything, NOR ANYBODY! AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR CRUMBY HIGH STANDARDS! THEY'VE RUINED US ALL, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, CRAZY DORKMIERY IDIOT!
Nafisa: Drop dead, Zero!
And Nafisa and Dirt-B have walked away from Lamar from out of his room, all except for Moose. He is getting ready to give Lamar lots of very bad advice that's going to even make things worse for Lamar again just like Nafisa and Dirt-B did. Now Moose is going to do the same exact thing to really hurt Lamar as well, but only calmly. He won't yell and scream like Nafisa and Dirt-B did.
Moose: (to Lamar.) Lamar. (He closed Lamar's bedroom door real softly without slamming it.) Lamar. Now, Nafisa, Dirt-B, and the rest of everybody in New York City are real truly nice people. And they all had great future plans for themselves too until you've erased everything off for them for this Puerto Rican girl you keep seeing all the time just because she happens to be a police officer. And that was not very nice of you to be doing this to everybody. Wasn't it? Not cool.
Lamar: (to Moose.) What are y'all saying around here, huh Moose?! Are each of you saying that I'm not allowed to do what I most love doing that would make me happy and not anybody else, I can't love me for me, that I have to change for others, can't reach forward for my goals ever, nor talk to any of my close friends, not even an education that I want in my life, neither should I have any girl that I would like to call my own in my dreams, THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO MAKE VERY BAD CHOICES JUST LIKE YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE DOES EVERYDAY, WHICH IS NOT MY STYLE?! YO, FOR YOUR INFORMATION, MOOSE, I'M NOT LIKE THOSE CRAZY NASTY FOLKS THAT DO TOO MUCH OF THAT BAD SHIT ALL THE TIME! OKAY?! I AM NOT LIKE THAT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M ABOUT! I WASN'T BORN LIKE THAT, MOOSE! THAT'S ALL CRAZY!
Moose: Lamar, there happens to be a big difference between you and us. We're the humans because we're special. You're not any of us at all because you're not special and you're not human. You're just don't belong to anybody, not even to us, nor that Hispanic female detective with the beautiful facecheeks of hers. Nobody wants to be friends with you, not even her at all.
Lamar: Now that's bullshit right there, man! None of that jive talking mess is true at all! I'm not interested in Nafisa because she's just my older stepsister, and does not have the direct appeal for me like Charlene Melendez does! After all, it's not right to marry your stepsister! It's just feels uncomfortable!
Moose: Lamar, you're misunderstanding me! Now you're sounding and acting like Curly from The Three Stooges and not making any kind of sense about today ever! When are you ever going to wake up and smell the twenty first century around here? You're scaring everyone away with that awful craziness you keep having in your head. And that all needs to stop right this minute! You know better than all of that! So until you do something with this planning your own things against other people's plans you have stolen from others they once have first off, including seeing that Spanish woman, we will have no other choice but to see about whether or not we should kill you dead and gone with something we can find to kill you with which I don't know what at this moment. It all depends on your stepsister, and wife to be Nafisa for she's the only one who is in charge, not me. She's the boss.
Lamar: Get the shit out of here, Moose! ALRIGHT?! JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, WHY DON'T YOU! Y'ALL MAKE ME SICK! YOU, NAFISA, DIRT-B, AND EVERYBODY ELSE!
Moose: Well, okay, if you want us all out of your life so badly. But may I remind you of this, Lamar. If you keep being and loving yourself with those evil standards you still have against other people's accounts, including that Latin cheeky chica you keep being with without anybody's permission to do these things, every single piece of your fetishes like that are gonna come right back to you and haunt you for the rest of your life big time because you've stolen those plans from other people, especially poor Nafisa, your woman to be. So don't say I didn't warn you.
And then, Moose walked out of his room opening and closed the door softly, and Lamar started breaking down crying on his pillow feeling sorry and guilty about himself for having such very high standards of what he really wants in his life that would make him extremely very happy just like Charlene and Eliza did when he first met them. So Lamar started shouting all the needs for her while crying in tears.
Lamar: CHARLENE, HELP ME! I NEED YOU!
But meanwhile at the broken down living room inside that apartment building, Nafisa has got more big plans to first off take down Charlene and Eliza, and conquer all of New York City.
Nafisa: Y'all, we've got a major issue in our hands!
Shelly: Yo, we're down with you all the way, Nafisa. What's up?
Nafisa: That dumb pupil of y'all's and stupid stepbrother and lover of mine has did this messy mess to us again! He still hasn't learn things about life of the future! That stupid assmunch!
Ball: What did he do now, Nafisa?! I would like to beat the living crap out of that not so human, not so cool jerk!
Nafisa: Well, I'll tell y'all first off what's our next move! We're gonna find those two spiritual but not religious detective Latinas and teach them and those other Goddamn flatfoots a damn big thing or two for having our punching bag Lamar get his hopes too high on people, loving himself, and being funny in a very bad way, then we're gonna conquer all of New York City to make sure everybody does what we tell 'em to so that they're not being themselves and being stupid like Lamar!
Gum: I hate that little geek already. I still want to slap him across his cartoon character facial!
Ball: Me too, Gum! I'm good at doing stuff like that to geeks that ever cross that double line. I'm Italian.
Smarty: You two are telling me.
Nafisa: Alright, y'all! Are we ready?!
Everybody: YEAH!
Nafisa: First, we're heading straight to the NYPD to deal with them cops, including the two Latina detectives both with the men turn oning cheekbones, blow the whole damn police station up, and then command all of this whole damn big apple city, demand everybody to do our future, and make sure Lamar marries me, and goes to his boss Dirt-B!
Dirt-B: That's me.
Nafisa: So that I can marry THE REAL DEAL HERE MY WAY, AND EVERYBODY ELSE'S WAY! (Smiling.) And that would be nobody, not even Lamar, but my favorite big, strong, smart, and handsome boo that's around, that is not such a little geeky tramp like Lamar! His name is Moose.
Moose: (surprised with joy!) You're asking for me, Nafisa dear?!
Nafisa: (flirting with Moose.) Come here, Special Dude.
And Moose goes over to Nafisa, they both kiss across their lips, hug each other, and repeated the same things over and over with each other again and again.
Burrito: Mi amor, amigos.
Mooky: Moose, you and my cousin are made for each other big time, and not with Lamar.
Moose: Thank you, Mooky. It's all gonna be great. (To Nafisa.) Right, Honey?
Nafisa: (to Moose.) Right you is, Baby.
Moose: Oh yeah.
But little did Nafisa and the rest of her gang realize that from outside the building, Charlene, Eliza, and Eliza boyfriend Jose overheard them from up on the fourth floor of that old apartment building near by on Charlene's police recorder with a microphone connected to in on the building talking about their nasty move and hurting Lamar again and messing up all of New York. Charlene was not very happy with everything she's heard from Nafisa at all.
Charlene: Why the freaking nerve of that bitch Nafisa! First off, she's gonna do something very bad to get all of us to stop Lamar from believing in himself with his good goals for another creep in his gang, then they're gonna really take over New York City big time! It was a good thing that I finally got a hold of Annette Sanchez about Lamar, gave her all of his information, so Lamar is going to hear from her very soon, and us too! And boy, will he be very happy!
Jose: Man, that Nafisa is not a very friendly black woman, as ugly as she is.
Charlene: Yeah, that's very insane! Totally insane! (Now she's angry, and she slapped one of her cheekbones real good and hard across her face grunting "UMM" as her head was tilted to the left side of her real fast, and back into position real slowly.) That does it! I don't care, neither do I give a damn what a dangerous woman she is for cops, or anybody else! We've got to go back to the police station and tell Commissioner Gibson, and everybody else there in the police force that we need to move out and stop these drug addict crooks from doing harm to the whole city, and give Lamar the coolest support from people he needs by getting connected with Annette Sanchez!
Eliza: Well what are we waiting for?! Let's go back to the station and tell everybody!
Charlene: And I'll touch basis with Annette Sanchez for Lamar's sake, and mine as well!
Jose: Say ladies, perhaps I can be of sevice for you too, now that I especially know Lamar very well just like you both did.
Charlene: Of course, Jose. You're a strong dude.
Eliza: (to Jose.) And extremely big, tall, and handsome. We most definitely need a mighty strong man to help us ladies to help rescue Lamar, and defeat Nafisa and her gang at once before they make damn certain big time trouble with all of the big apple.
Charlene: Even if the guy doesn't necessarily work for the NYPD, and not even a policeman for that type of matter. But he's always willing to help out anytime.
Jose: Let's do this, ladies!
Charlene: (smiling.) Let's get dangerous!
Eliza: I'm with you two!
And the three of them left the old apartment building heading back to the NYPD to tell everybody, and Commissioner David William Gibson that they need to take Nafisa and her creepy gang down from destroying all of New York City, and rescue Lamar from nasty emotional negativity from them, and other people that hate him so much, get him connected with Annette Sanchez to get him to the people that do want him around. Then Charlene shouted to above the apartment building this great positive phrase to Lamar.
Charlene: HANG ON, LAMAR! WE'RE COMING BACK!
So when they all arrived back at the NYPD, they first off went to Commissioner Gibson's office to tell him what's been going on here. Commissioner Gibson was surprised to see the girls, along with Jose; Eliza's boyfriend to tell him what a real crime wave that's happening.
Charlene: Commissioner Gibson, you had better make a quick announcement to everybody here in the police business!
Eliza: It's about some black female crook named Nafisa Khoner! She and her gang are trying to take over New York for their own shame by doing everybody lots of harm!
Jose: Including her younger stepbrother Lamar, forcing him to marry her, making him join her gang until they all kill him dead so that she can marry someone else! Lamar is innocent, plus, he doesn't do any of that shit that they do! And he needs support right away from Annette Sanchez who is in charge of helping lonely people who need caring and sharing in their lives away from bad boys and bad girls!
Charlene: That's why I'm getting a hold of Annette Sanchez so that she can meet one on one with Lamar and help him out of this nasty shit Nafisa keeps putting him through! He happens to be the same age as I am, still a college student into arts and cool entertainment!
Commissioner Gibson: Actually, y'all, I just did all that.
Charlene, Eliza, & Jose: You did?!
Commissioner Gibson: I've heard about Nafisa and her kind and what they did over at Spanish Harlem at that fiesta. And now, they're planning on taking over New York City to mess everybody up.
Charlene: Including lonely guys like Lamar! He is innocent, and in serious trouble with his own stepsister and her nasty so called shitty friends that keep tearing him down all the time!
Eliza: Yeah, Charlene is right, sir! We've got to find a way to get him to a very safer place to live, to go back to college again in the fall, also he needs our email addresses to keep in touch with me, Charlene, and the person in charge of the help for lonely men; Annette Sanchez whenever he's in danger again, or just needs a gal pal to talk to, hang out with, or if he ever needs any good company, and not bad company like Nafisa and her druggy crooks!
Charlene: (to Eliza.) Yes, I'm for that too, Eliza.
And all the policemen and police women came to the office as well, including Eliza's friends Willona Fox, and Sarah Fiorentino. They all came to help stop Nafisa and her men from doing harm to people.
Everybody in the force: We'll all help you guys!
Jose: Cool! (To Charlene.) Charlene, you contact Annette Sanchez and go get Lamar, and we'll take car of the rest!
Charlene: But I still will help you all, will I? After all, I am a cop too.
Eliza: Of course you can help us, Charlene, as long as Lamar stays in your car where he's safe while you're touching base with Annette.
Charlene: (smiling.) You've got my words of wisdom, Eliza.
So everybody around the police force moves out of the station to get Nafisa and her men while Charlene leaves a message for Annette Sanchez saying she's going back to get Lamar so that she can help him, but Annette was already on the phone with Charlene just now. After she was done talking to Annette about the situation with Lamar, she heads back to that broken down apartment building to get him out of there for good. She goes inside the building, runs up the stairs to the fourth floor, knocks on Lamar's apartment building door, and shouts to see if Lamar is still in there.
Charlene: (knocking on the front door.) Lamar! Lamar, are you still in there, dude?! It's me, Detective Charlene Marie Melendez! I've just got a hold of Annette Sanchez for you!
Then Lamar goes straight to the front door, opens it up, and there is Charlene coming to his rescue telling him to pack up his bags because she had just gotten a hold of Annette for him.
Charlene: Lamar, you need to pack up all of your belongings right away because I kept in touch with Annette Sanchez for you, and she says she's got something very cool for you big time.
Lamar: You mean Annette wants to see little old me about something good heading my way?
Charlene: You better believe it, my sweet. Me, Eliza, Jose, and the rest of the police force are going to deal with your nasty stepsister Nafisa and her gang, and Annette wants to meet you face to face finally because she's finally found a great place for you to live with a bunch of very nice people who will love you, treat you right, and support you better than this rusty old busted mildew apartment building with nasty drug addicts like Nafisa and her gang.
Lamar: Alright! Cool! I'm finally away from a bunch of negative people! Thank you, Charlene!
Charlene: You're welcome. Now let's get busy so that we can meet the good girl Annette.
Lamar: Right.
And Lamar took both of his big suitcases from out of his closet, got all of his clothes, and his other belongings together. Charlene helped out as well by packing up the rest of Lamar's belongings by using two of her old big suitcases she never uses at all from her hometown in Chicago. They both packed up everything real good and fast. And when they're done, they zipped everything closed, and headed out of here.
But before they went any further to head downstairs, they paused for a moment and heard footsteps coming their direction heading up again.
Lamar: Nafisa?!
Charlene: Oh God, I hope not!
Then somebody kicked the apartment door open, and it wasn't Nafisa, it was Ball, one of the gang girls of Nafisa's.
Ball: (checking out Lamar with Charlene.) HEY!
Lamar: BALL!
Ball: (to Charlene.) JUST WHERE IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING WITH THAT NIGGER, YOU LITTLE LATIN LUPE LU BITCH?!
Then Charlene went up to Ball and punched her real good and hard across her face with her right fist, Ball fell down to the ground, and Charlene raved at Ball by saying this to her.
Charlene: DROP DEAD, PUNK ROCK GIRL! (Now to Lamar.) Let's go, Lamar.
Then Charlene and Lamar finally headed out of there, Ball tried waking up, got up from the ground, started following them unknown to Charlene and Lamar. In their cars, when Charlene and Lamar were heading to this great big ballroom called "The Royal English Hall" in downtown New York City near Time Square because Nafisa and her gang are there making a hold up because a British rock alternative band called Brere Rabbit, Nafisa, Dirt-B, and the rest of the bad crooks were helding everybody hostage including the band to listen to the nasty Dirt-B, and his revolving rap stuff that nobody wants at all. All the New York police, along with Eliza Annette Alvarez and her boyfriend Jose were all outside of the building surrounding the place getting ready to get after those nasty prostitude monsters. Nafisa started yelling at everybody inside the ballroom.
Nafisa: Now, I want all of y'all to hear this! If y'all would do what we say around here, ain't nobody gonna get killed! Y'ALL HEAR THAT?! SO NO FUNNY BUSINESS OUT OF ANY OF Y'ALL 'CAUSE WE AIN'T DOWN WITH THAT SHIT!
All of her gang: YEAH!
An old British man in his sixties: SCREW YOU, NAFISA! YOU AND YOUR MEN WON'T BLOODY WELL GET AWAY WITH THIS!
A British teenage female: The old man is right, you know! You filthy roges will never make it here in this town, no matter how bloody hard you blinking mugs try! The police are getting to fight all of you in a minute! Eh?!
And from outside of the building, all the policemen and women are all waiting for Charlene to get ready to get Nafisa and her gang while watching over inside the building seeing that nobody is hurt, nor killed.
Eliza: (worried sick.) Oh God, where in the hell is Charlene already?! It's sure taking her forever to get Lamar from that apartment and getting over here so that we can capture Nafisa and her gang! What is taking Miss Cheekbones?!
Jose: Maybe her and Lamar got stuck in traffic. I'm just guessing.
Eliza: Oh boy!
Finally, Charlene and Lamar have made it at the parking lot of the ballroom downtown, found a parking place so that Charlene can get ready to help all the New York police force to stop Nafisa and her gang from doing harm to all of New York City. And before Charlene was going to get out of her car to help Eliza and the rest of the force, she had to tell Lamar this safety tip.
Charlene: Okay, Lamar. Now you'll be safe inside my car here until I get back. And when I do, first off, I'll get a hold of Annette because we've just found the perfect family you will sure to love here in New York, then after that, I'll invite you to my family's house to a totally cool birthday party for one of my cool cousins. She's very sweet, and very funny, and I think you will like her a lot. But before all of that, and after I introduce you to Annette Sanchez, me and Eliza are going to be singing a song for everybody at Radio City Music Hall again, just like we went for that AC/DC concert last time. This song is mostly for you, Lamar.
Lamar: Awesome! What kind of a song is it, Charlene?
Charlene: That I won't tell. It's a surprise. Now, I'm going to that ballroom to help Eliza and the other police get Nafisa and the creeps. Now if someone tries to come to your direction to my car just to harm you in all sorts of very bad ways, get a hold of me through my CB radio here in front of you. Okay? And don't ever open these doors for nobody when I get back. Do you see where I'm coming from?
Lamar: (smiling.) You can count on me, Miss Cheekbones. Or perhaps that name Miss Cheekbones is really bothering you too much. Because if it is, I'm very sorry. I won't do that anymore.
Charlene: Oh it doesn't bother me a bit, Lamar. So it's okay.
Lamar: So the Miss Cheekbones thing doesn't bother you at all.
Charlene: Mm-mmm. Everybody calls me Miss Cheekbones a lot, even back at home in Chicago. They all love me.
Lamar: So do I, girl.
Charlene: (smiling.) Aw, why thank you, Lamar. I love you too. You're a real sweetie pie.
Lamar: Thank you, Charlene.
Charlene: Well I'm gonna help my partner Eliza and the rest of the guards of the police force. Okay? And remember, if you see anybody coming on to you in this car-
Lamar: Yes I know, contact you on your CB radio. No problem at all.
Charlene: Cool. And I shall be back shortly.
Lamar: And I shall be waiting.
And Charlene left Lamar in her car alone getting ready to help Eliza and the other policemen and women to get Nafisa and her gang, when she arrived, Eliza worried to death asked her this question.
Eliza: (to Charlene.) Well about time you showed up here! Where have you been so long?
Jose: (to Charlene also.) We thought you were stuck in New York City traffic or something like that.
Charlene: Hey you guys, give me a break, will ya? When I was getting Lamar from that nasty apartment building, this Ball woman "whoever she is" stopped us from leaving that nasty place, well at least, almost stopped us, but not enough. I showed her who's a real powerful tough chick around the face of this planet earth.
Eliza: Is Lamar okay?
Charlene: Oh Lamar is fine, you guys. Don't worry. He's safe inside my car right now. And I told him not to open the doors for any strangers.
Jose: Well thank goodness he's safe in your car where nobody can mess with him.
Charlene: They better not mess with him ever, Jose. They mess with me if they do.
Another policeman: (annoyed at them talking.) You guys, shhhhhhhh!
While still in the ballroom, Nafisa was still talking tough at those innocent British people in there frightening them, threatening them, telling all of them to listen to Dirt-B's nasty, dirty, and disgusting rap hit, starting now!
Nafisa: Now I want to tell all of you, if you keep yo' damn British accents zipped, and not make any moves outta this building without listening to what my main man Dirt-B is about to say around up in here, y'all won't get hurt! Get it?!
All of her gang: GET IT?!
An old British woman: Yes, we get it.
Charlene: (from outside the building.) Now you guys?
Eliza: Not now, Charlene. Just give it a few seconds more, and we'll be ready.
Charlene: Alright.
Nafisa: (inside the building.) Are you ready up there, Dirt-B?
Dirt-B: Yo, I'm ready! Let's roll with the juice!
Nafisa: HIT IT!
Eliza: (yelling from outside the ballroom.) NOW!
And Charlene did a trumpet imitation while the police were all charging after those nasty immigrants fighting, shooting with guns, and Willona Fox punched Dirt-B off the stage of the ballroom and down to the floor. Then he got up again and he saw Charlene and Eliza with the other policemen and police women fighting the crooks. Charlene warned all the British people to clear the building immediately.
Charlene: GET ALL OF THE BRITISH PEOPLE OUT OF HERE THIS VERY MINUTE!
Dirt-B: (saw Charlene and Eliza.) SAY WHAT?!
Nafisa: (saw the two lady detectives too.) WELL I'LL BE GOD DAMNED! IT'S THOSE LATIN AMERICAN FEMALE FREAKAZOIDS AGAIN WITH THEM SHITTY HIGH CLASSY CHEEKBONES! (She pulls out a big machine gun.) THIS TIME I'M GONNA DRILL THE HELL OUTTA THEM REAL GOOD!
Eliza: (saw Nafisa's machine gun, then pulled out hers. NAFISA, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!
And Nafisa turned around and shot at Eliza with her machine gun, Eliza did a fast paced cartwheel to clear away from the bullets so Nafisa missed her. Then Charlene jumped on Nafisa and they both started fighting with all sorts of stunts. Some of the British men and women went to help fight off the crooks too with the police knocking everything down inside the ballroom. That's when everything starts to get a little messy. Dirt-B used a gangster knife to kill Charlene with it. He shouted to her attention by calling her from behind big time on another name.
Dirt-B: YO, MISS TITO RODRIGUEZ!
Charlene turned around, Dirt-B came after her, Charlene took out her pistol and shot Dirt-B way out cold! Dirt-B fell on the floor dead, and Charlene had a call from her walkie talkie. So Charlene picked it up to answer it.
Charlene: Hello. Detective Charlene Marie Melendez.
Lamar's voice on the walkie talkie: CHARLENE, HELP ME! IT'S BALL! SHE WANTS IN YOUR CAR TO GET ME AND SHE'S NOT BEING VERY NICE ABOUT IT! HELP!
Charlene: Hang on, Lamar! I'll be right there, Buddy!
And Charlene ran quickly to save Lamar from Ball who is one of Nafisa's gangs. Eliza spotted Charlene running out of the ballroom to get Ball for messing with Lamar.
Eliza: Hey Charlene, where are you going now?!
Charlene: To save Lamar! He's in trouble with that slinky Italian punk rock girl again!
Eliza: Well hurry back because we still need you!
Then Gum pulled her gun out at Eliza and started threatening her.
Gum: (to Eliza.) I don't think so, Honey! Now, tell your Puerto Rican partner to call this shit off!
But Eliza turned around, slapped her face hard, and kicked her. Gum flew straight over to Moose and Mooky, the three of them flew straight to a wall with three elkheads coming down from that wall and straight to their heads.
Meanwhile, Charlene ran straight to her car and saw Ball raving at Lamar trying to open Charlene's left car door just to get him, and Charlene started yelling at Ball.
Charlene: (to Ball.) HEY, JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING OVER THERE?!
Ball: (to Charlene.) HEY, KISS MY NATURAL ALYSSA MILANO ASS, YOU MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ, ANNETTE FUNICELLO IMMITATING STUNT FREAK! You're not much of a J-Lo! To me, you look like that bitch from that damn Nickelodeon television cable network by the name of Victoria what's her face!
Charlene: I know! I get that a lot!
Then Ball ran over to Charlene. Charlene ran over to Ball, then Charlene jumped up and kicked Ball's face in with her right foot, and Ball went up and slapped Charlene's face hard, then punched her with her right fist, and the two olive skinned tough girls started fighting each other. Meanwhile back inside the ballroom, the cops and crooks continued fighting each other, knocking everything down, shooting at each other with their guns always missing each other. The crooks faught all the police in New York City straight to walls, chairs, speakers, all sorts of things. Then they started taking off in their cars again because they've got everything they need from other people, money, jewelry, credit card, everything the crooks got have stolen from people. So the crooks took off, Charlene stopped fighting Ball, saw the others go, Charlene tried to get back to her car, but Ball grabbed Charlene's shirt and started threatening her.
Ball: Where do you think you're going, Miss Huggybear?!
Then Charlene turned around and slapped Ball's face very hard. Ball let out a Joan Jett grunt going "OOH" then Charlene went back to her car with Lamar in it, started it up, and started following the other crooks as well with the other police. Then Ball went back to her shiny hot rod, 1967 red Ford Fairlane, and started following Charlene with Lamar.
Ball: (shouting to herself looking at Charlene and Lamar together.) YOUR ASS IS MINE, YOU LITTLE PUERTO RICAN SESAME STREET KIDS HERO! THAT INCLUDES THAT NERDY HISPANIC WOMANIZING NIGGER!
Lamar: (looking through Charlene's rearview mirror of her car.) Oh man, Charlene! Ball is right on our trail! And she ain't gonna stop at nothing to get me back to Nafisa and her troublemakers!
Charlene: Not for long, Lamar. That bitch Ball, Nafisa, and the other crooks are gonna really get what they deserve once we put a stop to their negative actions.
Then nafisa looked through her rearview mirror inside her car while seeing the other officers follow her and her gang from street to street real fast around all of New York City, she also saw Charlene with Lamar with her in her car again. And she was not at all very happy with this picture at all.
Nafisa: WHAT THE HELL?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT MY OWN STUPID STEPBROTHER AND LOVER WOULD JUST STOOP SO LOW WITH THAT DAMN LATINA COP AGAIN! THAT'S IT! THAT'S THE GODDAMN LAST STRAW! I'M GONNA DESTROY THOSE TWO ROMANTIC NOT SO RIGHT ODD COUPLE ONCE AND FOR GOOD, IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO, AFTER ALL I TAUGHT THAT BOY! HE SURE GOT HIS NERVES BETRAYING US AND SHIT!
So Nafisa used her cannon gun and first off shot at other policemen following her, then Charlene and Lamar, but she missed all, then tries again and again so many times, but still she misses and nobody is killed yet.
Eliza: (driving in her car with Jose.) Is she still throwing bombs at us again?!
