Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis fowl.

Artemis Fowl and the Search for Mulch Diggums

Up, down, up down. Artemis was working out on his body improvement machine. Ever since he got back from Russia, he wanted to be in top physical condition. He almost died 10 times because of weak fingers or something. It was thanks to Butler, Holly, and even Root that he was alive today. Now, Artemis was careful. He exercised for 1 hour each day to get stronger. He didn't want his life to be at risk. After about 15 minuets of exercising, he went and took a shower. Now he had to do his most hated thing in the world. Homework! Yes, Artemis Fowl had to do homework. Ever since both his parents were back home, his "plans" was near impossible to concoct. Even worse, his parents sent him to school and treated him like a stupid little kid. Artemis was forced to commute with kids who didn't even know the exact speed of light. His classes were boring and teachers were oh so predicable. But as usual, he played his little "games" and well, sent a dozen teachers packing.

Artemis had endured school, and now it was winter break. No trace of school except the small piles of homework that sat on his desk. Oh well, it would only take 10 minuets or so. After homework, Artemis would do something much more enjoyable. Plan his criminal acts. His parents were angry with Artemis for spending so much or the Fowl fortune. He needed something to bring the fortune back and have a little money for himself. He climbed to the study and scrolled the Internet for something that could help.

Beeeeeep! His intercom system rang. A staticy voice came through.

"Artemis, its me"

"Of course it you, Butler. What is it?" Artemis replied.

"LEP just rang. Said they wanted to talk."

"LEP? They want to talk? Oh great, I hope I wasn't accused of something again. Those sprites think I am so untrustable. Well, when are they coming?"

"Not sure. But they said it was going to be very soon. I told them to come in through your study window so your parents won't notice." Just as Butler said those words, Artemis felt a rustle and a breeze. He noticed streams of blue light come in and seem to hover though the air.

"Holly, Commandant Root, is that you? You know I haven't done anything!" Artemis said annoyingly.

"Yet", Holly bellowed as she and Commandant Root landed and turned off their shield, leaving them visible.

Artemis rolled his eyes. Holly was the most annoying fairy he knew and lets just say Root earned himself the name "Beetroot" because of the color of his face. As annoying the two might be, they both had good hearts and could be trusted. Artemis pressed his intercom button.

"Butler, they're here, come up. They seem to want my help." He turned his attention back to the sprites. Holly had changed a little since he last saw her. Her old auburn crew cut had been grown longer to a thick mane of hair, but she was as pretty as usual. Root was still a little red in the face and seemed to have gained some weight.

"OK mud boy, here's the deal. Mulch has escaped and we need you to catch him because he threatened to steal the ransom gold that all the fairies has saved. So, will you do it? ", Holly explained.

"And what's in it for me, a pat and a hug? ", Artemis fired back.

"No, mud boy. We thought you might ask, so we offer you a small sample of our latest technology, invented by Foaly." Holly replied. Artemis though about it for about two seconds. Brand new ideas were popping in his mind. Fairy Technology, Patent money, fortune, fame, connections with the fairies, Diggums with gold.

"Deal", Artemis answered, as he took out his hand to shake.