Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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What is Cake?

Chapter One

It all started out as a normal morning, except the fact that Relena wasn't there asking for gundam rides. Also, it wasn't morning, but more like afternoon. Quatre was happily munching on his bacon. He really loves his bacon. Trowa was supposedly reading a newspaper in the corner. Heero was couch diving for the remote that had been lost over a week ago. Wufei was practicing his knitting on an unsuspecting kitten. Duo, however, was missing. As usual he slept incredibly late and when he wakes up, he is incredibly loud.

"GUYS GUYS GUYS!! I've been reading some forums or whatever on the internet and can you BELIEVE it!! Apparently cake is a lie! That's not fair! I LIKE CAKE!" Duo yelled as he bolted into the kitchen and flailed. "Are you guys listening to me?" They weren't. Duo stomped around the room raving on since he knew they would have to listen to him eventually. "I mean what did the cake do to deserve to be called lies!!" Duo stepped forward and grabbed Trowa's paper. "It can't even defend… Trowa what the hell are you reading?" Duo turned the newspaper and revealed wrecking ball porn. "YOU'RE A SICK MAN!"

Trowa grabbed back his magazine blushing furiously, "I like to read the articles…"

"What, the ones in the pictures of naked people and wrecking balls?" Duo snickered.

"Duo, the cake is called a lie because it is a lie." Wufei said simply as he looked up from the kitten he was knitting a sweater on.

"What's that supposed to mean anyway? How did the cake become lies when it can't do anything to begin with?" Duo stomped his foot like a young child. "Ooh! Bacon!" Duo reached for a piece of bacon left on Quatre's plate.

"MY BACON!" Quatre yelled and stabbed his fork at Duo's oncoming hand.

"What the hell?!" Duo jerked back his hand a little too slowly and earned a small stab wound on his finger. "Heero! Back me up man! Wufei is mean." Duo shot a weird look at Quatre who was glaring at him over a mouthful of bacon.

After a moment of the cushion moving around Heero's head appeared between the couch cushions. "What?"

"Don't you 'What?' me! Wufei is being mean!!!" Duo flailed very annoyed.

"I don't know much about cake… although; I've never heard it called lies before." Heero frowned as he dove back into the couch to continue on his search to find the lost remote. The cushions continued to shuffle around as Heero searched.

"Heero!! Don't leave! I need you to defend me! Use your epic soldier skills to subdue him!" Duo ran to the cushions and began wrenching them off of the couch. "Huh?" Heero was nowhere to be found! Duo looked around confused, and then noticed a pair of eyes looking at him from under the other couch's cushions. "Damn Japanese ninja!" Duo threw the cushion he was holding at the other couch. Heero poked his head back out to hurl it back into Duo's face.

"Even with Yuy's help you won't be able to prove me wrong." Wufei smirked up at the outraged American.

"I BET YOU $500 THAT I'M RIGHT!" Duo slammed his fist on the table with a loud clatter of dishes and a yowling cat. Wufei's smirk widened as he unhooked the cat's claws from his arm.

"Ok then. I accept your bet Maxwell." Wufei smiled. "You have as long as you need to prove me wrong. If you give up, you have to eat my left shoe."

"Why not the right one?" Quatre asked.

"It's my favorite." Wufei nodded as though this was a good explanation.

"Okay. If I win… you have to… uhm… eat my RIGHT shoe. HAH!" Duo grinned widely.

"Very original." Trowa muttered. "And didn't already wager 500 dollars?"

"SHUTUP WRECKING BALL PORN!" Duo growled as Trowa's face reddened.

Heero jumped out of the couch with a confused sigh. He walked over to the refrigerator and opened it up reaching for a bottle of water, but much to his surprise he pulled out the remote. "How'd the remote get in the fridge?" No one knew the answer. Heero turned back to the other pilots deep in thought and finally asked, "How does wrecking ball porn even WORK?" All eyes turned to Trowa whose face somehow managed to turn a deeper shade of red.

"Well…" Trowa began to explain the grueling process of wrecking ball porn and the more he said, the paler everyone's faces became. Duo began to cough and sputter. Heero put his hands over his face and cried. Quatre began to suck his thumb and Wufei just looked interested and thoughtful.

"Anyways." Duo cut Trowa off not knowing how much more he could take. "We gotta prove the cake isn't a lie."

"What do you mean we?" Heero asked with an annoyed look.

"All of us! Even Wufei!" Duo grinned wickedly flinging his arms around Heero and Quatre's shoulders.

"Why me!? You're supposed to be proving me wrong not taking me along." Wufei glared at Duo. "Besides, what if I try to sabotage your mission."

"It'll be an adventure!!" Duo cried happily. "And I know you would never sabotage us, because you secretly want to know too!" Wufei just made a face.

"I think it'll be fun!" Quatre smiled. Trowa just shrugged still recovering from his embarrassment at being discovered.

"Ok! First stop… is… uh… the BAKERY!" Duo turned to go, but he was stopped by Quatre.

"Duo Pants! PLEASE!" Quatre yelled dragging Duo away from the door.

Duo looked down numbly. "Oh right. I guess I was so excited I forgot I was only in my boxers. OKAY! Clothes THEN to the bakery." Duo turned down the hallway laughing. The other pilots just watched him go before getting up and going to dress themselves for what promised to be a very long day.

When Duo ran out of his room he looked around. "Where is everybody?" Duo looked in the couches but didn't find Heero. He even checked the closets and ceilings for the ninja. Duo ran around the house before finally realizing they were all getting dressed like he himself had to do. He slumped down into a chair to wait tapping his foot impatiently.

Heero walked out first in his usual clothes. How boring. Didn't he have anything else to wear? Then Wufei. Also in his usual, boring, weird, dress thing. When Trowa walked out Duo wanted to explode from the USUALNESS. Then it dawned on him, all of them only had one real set of clothes. Feeling a little silly Duo waited for Quatre to come out. When Quatre finally did appear Duo almost keeled over and died.

Quatre smiled and tugged at the strange garment. "I found this in my closet and just felt like wearing it. You don't mind do you?" Quatre laughed before looking down at himself again.

"WHY ARE YOU WEARING A FRILLY, YELLOW, SUN DRESS?!" Duo squawked. "Why was it even in your closet? What is going on here!?"

"Relena used his room for a few days before he came to live with us remember?" Heero murmured. "She probably forgot it." Duo just stared at Heero dumbly.

Quatre looked at Heero for a long moment. "Oh. Well that makes sense. Hold on. I'll just be another moment." The guys relaxed thinking he would take off the dress, but they were very wrong. Quatre came back out with a small frilly hat and a parasol. "I thought I should use these too. To go with the theme you know?"

Duo dared to look down and choked when he saw pretty little white sandals on the blonde's feet. "You've got to be kidding me." Duo then sighed and turned to the door. "Whatever let's just go to the damn bakery and get this over with."

The pilots walked together and couldn't help but grin at the looks poor Quatre was getting, though the blonde appeared to be oblivious to the stares. Duo hoped he would survive this trip to the bakery. It didn't take long to walk to a little bakery on the corner where Duo would try his hardest to get the answer he was looking for. Why is the cake a lie?