Hey guys sorry for the years of not posting anything. Here is my first Avengers fic that is postable. I'm finally writting again this year. Now this prompt was given to me by my Beta/ little sister Esme aka Ninja-on-the-run.

Hope you all enjoy.
Kat

Falling. Into a dark abyss.

Torture. That which he could do nothing against.

Loki sat up gasping for air, his heart pounding underneath his black silk pajamas. The same nightmare always woke him up. This time at the early hour of 4:47. Sleep having had evaded him, Loki left his room, the one graciously given to him within Stark Tower.

Helping the Avengers during Thanos' attack, giving the team the extra assistance needed for victory against the Titan had led Loki to gain some semblance of trust within the hero group.

Thor, the great puppy, was ecstatic to have his brother back. And never to be admitted out loud to anyone, Loki was still wary of the presence of Dr. Banner...Bruce, as he was often reminded to call him, and his "Other Guy". Faint whispers of the thrashing he received at the hands of the beast still plagued him with phantom pains.

From the lone woman of the team, who had bested him, he had received cold indifference. From her partner on the other hand, he had been at the bad end of the archers bow, it having been used to hit him in the face, along with a threat of what would happen were he ever to put one toe out of line. The good captain, though still apprehensive gave him a second chance, but cautioned against another.

And lastly Tony.

Tony was a surprise that was unforeseen. He had taken over the Midgardian's tower and then threw him out of his own window. Yet other than his own brother, the closest resemblance to a true lord this realm had to offer, had showed him no malice and had simply welcomed him in.

He had headed to the kitchen on that particular floor, which was Tony's and his by extension. The hero had arranged for Loki to be roomed down the hall from his own room on his floor, and Loki was thankful for not having to reside with his brother.

Anyways, a cup of coffee, a treat that had gained his fancy, is what he sought after.

Now familiar with one of the many coffee machines the tower housed, Loki had set the machine to brew, and went to the watch the city that he had both tried to take over and had most recently protected.

That very window he was looking out of, he noticed, was the one he had once thrown Tony out of in rage. The repairs had been seamless, as though nothing had ever happened there, granted the person who was paying for these repairs would ask for nothing less than perfection.

He could admire that in the Midgardian... Tony.

Genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist. That was how Tony described himself to others. But if Loki could, he would add perfectionist to that list of adjectives. It would perhaps seem arrogant to others, but Tony sought for the best in things in life, not accepting anything considered average. The man worked hard for what he wants and would make sure he received it. He lived a hedonistic life. It was admirable, in Loki's perspective of course. The captain thought it was a bit eccentric or even arrogant in Tony's part, but the god of mischief thought differently.

More differently than anyone else.

When he was taken out of the Tesseract's control, his time awaiting the verdict that Odin Allfather would set, was spent on hours of deep reflection. From the information gathered from Barton, he learned much about the people who now called themselves The Avengers.

He learned of the captain who woke up after 70 years of being frozen. "The man out of time." Quite literally. Just as out of place in this world as he or Thor. But out of all of them, the one he did truly learn more about was Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, former assassin, and now one of the top agents in S.H.I.E.L.D. What he found interesting was that she was constantly on Barton's mind, even under the Tesseract's control. On the doctor and his beast, he received the minimum of information. Seeing as Barton did not have knowledge beyond that the mild mannered doctor was a failed experiment that resulted in an enormous green creature when angered.

And then there was the Man of Iron.

There was a sympathy to be felt towards the mortal who once attempted to threaten him. This Tony Stark knew about years of suffering.

Loki himself always in the shadow of his golden brother, ridiculed for his use of sorcery. Always feeling out of place in his home. Never equal to those around him. Never down right disrespected though, no one would be so foolish to try, he was a prince of Asgard after all. Always placed in second place, never enough in Odin's eyes. But still... life would have continued for the better if he had never followed Thor into Jotunheim, if that Jotun had never laid a hand on him.

Constantly on the outskirts of his own people, and for some reason he still strived to be the best, to be admired.

But everyone admired the first born, the golden one, the true Odinson, the man he used to be able to call a true brother.

With Tony, it wasn't much different. THey both know what it was like to be overshadowed. He was in the shadow of his brilliant father. From a young age being held to such high expectations. Then a company thrust upon him, the inheritance of warfare. He grew to become known as the Merchant of Death. Later when he was held prisoner in Afghanistan and had his heart replaced with a car battery as constant reminder of what damage he could do, and of what he could be, he noticed it. It only took one of his own weapons to see. Death was his legacy, the fruit of his labors. That's when Tony saw everything clearly. Everything around him, and inside him. He recognized his mistakes. His eyes were opened.

Much like himself.

He and Tony lived a similar life, only he didn't have the support of friends like the Potts woman or the one called Rhodey. The closest thing to companionship Loki had ever experienced was at the company of the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif. And they only tolerated his presence, because of Thor.

He with all of his power could cause much more destruction in a much shorter time, than it had taken Tony. After witnessing the absolute calamity he and the Chitauri had caused in New York, he felt it. The change. The mistakes he caused. The mistakes that caused hundreds of lives. And a plethora of damage. He had no other choice but to unleash the Chitauri, he was so tired and didn't care what would happen. He knew that the agent he had brought down was right. He knew that Tony was right. There was no throne. There was no end where he, Loki, could rise victorious.

He was right when he said that the Tesseract touched everyone differently, only its touch controlled you. It changes you to its whim.

It went to the bottom of your mind and pulled out thoughts and memories and manipulated them. He had witnessed it with the archer's mind. The thoughts and memories of Barton's troubled past came afloat.

Memories of witnessing, and causing death, harming others. Being tortured, the fighting, the life of lies, the internal exhaustion and many sleepless nights. He witnessed the archer in his darkest of days. He saw the days of blood that was not his own, but of his target. The life of an assassin that left behind scars, scars that harmed his mind and body. And that was only before S.H.I.E.L.D. came in and recruited him.

Loki saw everything. The Tesseract showed him everything. It showed him pure, undeniable truth.

When he said that it touched everyone differently; it did.

Including your memories, and your desires.

It played with them.

It played with you.

Just like a small little toy in the hands of a child.

He remained so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice the footfalls announcing that he was no longer alone.

TBC