My name is Lillian Yang, most people just call me Lily. Well, those who knew me before the war did. But that's a story for another time.
For now, my name is Lily.
I was a normal girl, at least what I considered normal. When I was a baby, I was given up for adoption, and I got adopted when I was about 5 or 6-I can't really remember. They were a nice family, they were newlyweds and wanted children, but found out they couldn't have any. So they adopted me.
I remember just moving in with them, they were sweet and caring, trying to make me feel accepted because I was shy. I liked living with them for a while. They spoiled me and treated me like royalty. It wasn't until about a year of living with them did they show their true colors.
My 'mother', Megan, was a short, beautiful woman who always needed everything to be perfect. She was the perfect little housewife that was a perfect match for her husband, Steven.
My 'father', was quite the man. He worked for this company that manufactured spaceships, so you can imagine how much money he made. He wasn't an engineer or anything, he was a boss. Not necessarily the boss, but….just a boss.
I guess Steven and Megan wanted children to show off. Since Steven was a big part of his company, he was interviewed and liked to show off everything in his perfect life. Megan and Steven had decided one day that adopting a child would be such a huge boost in their social aspects, showing the world how nice and selfless they were. Of course, I didn't find out until much later.
One day, when I was in the second grade, I remember coming home super proud because I got a B+ on a test. Math was a subject I was really struggling in at the time, so finding out I passed with a good grade made me very excited to show my mother.
I jumped off the bus and ran all the way home, a wide grin on my face the entire time. I walked in and called out to my adoptive mother. It took me quite some getting used to, calling her 'mom'. I eventually got the hang of it but, I didn't really call her that for long.
Megan came out of the kitchen, flour on her apron and a sweet smile as she saw her 'perfect little angel.' She asked me about my day, and we talked until I was finally able to show her my test.
That moment completely changed my view on Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer for the rest of my life.
The look on her face was unrecognizable. Megan's face went from smiling to frowning in mere seconds, something I'd never seen on her before. She laughed nervously, gripping the paper so tight it crinkled as she began stuttering out a question.
"Wh-why did you get… a-a B?" She asked, grimacing rather than smiling.
My own smile faltered. My seven-year-old mind couldn't comprehend why my mother-the sweetest person on the planet-sounded disappointed. Wasn't she proud of me?
"Um, well, it's hard… and-and I did my best? I thought you and St-Dad-would be proud of me," I mumbled out, utterly confused. Megan laughed bitterly before ripping up the paper. I was shocked, and kind of scared. I'd never seen her act like that before. Unfortunately, it wasn't the last.
"I will not tolerate a B in this house young lady!" She screamed at me, for the first time ever.
I broke, tears spilling out of my eyes and sobs wracking my skinny body. "I don't-" I tried to speak but it all came to an end when she slapped me.
I was glad I had decided to keep my own last name, rather than change it to theirs. Because in that moment I realized I was not a part of this family, and I would never be. If I could even call it a family.
The abuse gradually got worse overtime. It didn't happen right after, though. When Megan slapped me I stayed quiet and brought home straight A's for the rest of my elementary school years.
It was about eighth grade when thing began to fall apart. Steven lost his job. The company was bought by an even bigger company, and they got rid of everyone they deemed useless to the renovating. Steven had been the first on the list.
My mother, was furious. She blamed Steven of course, and always complained about how she would have to get a job to support them. After she got one, she was always cranky about something.
Steven never got a job after that. He used all the money they had saved up on alcohol. It was only a little at first, but he bought all the expensive stuff, until the point where he could only afford a 6 pack of beer.
It was around that time when Megan found out that Steven was cheating, too. I had known for a while, but I never said anything in fear Megan would hit me, or they'd get a divorce. I didn't care how bad our lives were, I was never going back to the orphanage.
Steven would bring home women he used to work with, or those who cost less money an hour. Megan didn't really seem to care, she just began doing the same thing. She didn't care anymore about her 'perfect' family, and all the money. She only cared about getting revenge. Every time Steven brought home a new girl, she'd go out and sleep with someone else. It became a gross part of their routine, and I was the one who suffered from it.
And that's how I grew up. In a broken home where I was to be the perfect daughter who never did anything wrong, while the only form of love my parents showed was fucking some random stranger.
During high school, I did some things I'm not very proud of. I hid all of my hurt and suffering behind a pretty smile and some cheap perfume. I wore very revealing clothes, and never went a week without a boyfriend. Though, I wouldn't really call them 'boyfriends' I guess, just whatever guy I was sleeping with that week. We'd fool around for a bit, they'd begin to like me, and I bailed. I guess I was scared. I was scared of the commitment, and the relationship. I didn't want to turn out like Megan and Steven. I wasn't going to.
Having sex was the only way I knew how to show affection, I guess. My parents never showed any love to me when I was younger, and the only thing I can remember is all the sex they had, with other people. So, that's the way I did it.
I didn't know how to hold hands, or hug and kiss. I didn't know how to love somebody, and I sure as hell didn't know what it was like to be loved by somebody. That all changed eventually though. When I met David.
But that's part of that story for later.
In high school, I decided I wanted to join the military. Space travel had been abundant for years now, and everyone was always going off to fight space aliens, or look for another planet to inhabit. I knew I wanted to get away from my shitty life. I wanted to get the farthest away from my parents that I could. What better way to do that than to travel to space?
Megan was completely against the idea of me joining the army of some other planet.
"You spent all your life getting straight A's, and you're gonna go waste it on some stupid alien fight," she'd complained when I first told her.
"It's not just aliens, Megan, it's-" She cut me off with a slap.
"I'm your mother," She growled, and that was the end of that conversation.
But that's pretty much how all of our conversation went. We'd argue to the point where Megan would have to shut me up by doing something physical, and Steven would yell at us through a drunken slur until he passed out. It got to the point where I was almost never home. I'd stay over for a few nights at a friends house before coming home for a few hours, then staying at a different house for the rest of the week.
I finally left the summer after graduation. When I did, I was seventeen, but I don't think age was a really big deal in space. I had unofficially moved out a few months before graduation. I stayed with the longest boyfriend I've ever had until that point (I really didn't want to be with him, I just needed a place to stay). His name was Charles, and he was absolutely heart broken when I left for the rocket that would be flying all cadets to the military space station.
"You're leaving me?" Charles whimpered, as I hurriedly shoved all my belongings into a suitcase. I zipped it up and sighed, looking up at him.
Charles was two years younger than me, barely 15. He stayed with his uncle who was literally never home, so we basically lived by ourselves. I didn't want to leave him, but I needed to go. The kid was sweet, and he was surprisingly good in bed, but I had to leave.
"I'm not really leaving you, Charles. I mean I'm leaving, yes, but not because of you," I reasoned, wincing as he cried in relief.
"Oh thank goodness, I don't know what I'd do if you broke up with me, I'd probably kill myself," he laughed, wiping his eyes and he hugged me.
"No, um, Charlie..." I sighed, really not wanting to say this, "I am breaking up with you, just not because I don't, um, love you," I mumbled.
Charles stiffened and backed up, looking at me as his tears filled with eyes again. His lip quivered and I barely let out a sigh before he started sobbing, gripping tightly onto my arm as he begged me not to go. I felt pretty bad, Charles was really nice and I knew I was going to miss him. I think my eyes filled up with tears, too.
"G-get off of me, Charles," I pushed him back and put my hands on his shoulders. I forced my watery grey eyes to look into his own, very watery brown eyes.
"Charles, you have to understand that I'm not leaving because of you. You've known for a long time that I've wanted to do this, and you have to understand that this is hard for me to," my voice died down to a whisper as I finished the sentence. It had just sunk in that I would actually miss him. I mean, he was still young, and inexperienced, but he was the best boyfriend I'd ever had.
Charlie finally seemed to comprehend what I was saying, because he wiped his eyes and looked down. "What am I supposed to tell my friends when my super hot senior girlfriend stops giving me rides to school?" he pouted. I chuckled and ran a hand through my hair, shaking my head.
"If it means that much to you, Charles, you can tell all your friends that I got a job and had to work the morning shift," I teased, smiling at him. He chuckled before frowning again.
"What about after school?"
I sighed, "Look, Charles, I'm no good for you anyway. You're 15, you're gonna be a sophomore. I just graduated. It never would've worked, babe."
"But...but I love you, Lily," more watery eyes.
"No, no you don't. Goodbye Char-" I began walking to the door.
"No, no Lily wait, just let me talk-" he tried to stop me.
"Goodbye, Charles," I wouldn't let him, I had to do this.
"No please, Lillian. Lils, wait ple-" the door slammed shut.
I never heard from Charles Palomo again.
A week later I found myself at the San Francisco International Airport. I was flying to Texas where I would train for a few months before being launched up into the International Space Military Academy, where I'll enlist in the UNSC. I'll admit, I was a little nervous. I'd never been to space before, even though humans have been exploring it for hundreds of years now. But ever since the Great War, I've realized just how much fighting there would really be, and how dangerous this is.
Don't you dare back out now, I thought, you've been waiting your whole life for this.
I was ready.