The Tea Party 2: Henn no Majo
"And why is that stupid fan fiction called "The Tea Party" going to have a sequel?" The blonde girl with ribbons in her hair and on her frilly pink dress stomped her feet on the floor. "Plus, how come I, the witch of Certainty, Lambadelta can't get a shining role?"
Bernkastel, gloomy and lifeless as always, glanced over at her with the same cup of milk tea in her hands. They were taking a break from the Golden and Endless Witch's game. Or perhaps you could say when you weren't in their vicinity, "fooling around".
The purple haired witch then stood up when Lambadelta stomped the floor again. "It was your fault we got that girl appointed as the Witch of Repelling Perverts. Now she's deleting all of the perverts. Not that I really care."
The witch they were talking about was a girl they had met some time ago. She had been wandering around into Beatrice's realm or as the humans called, an island, Rokkenjima. Apparently, she was looking for the much respected witches, Bernkastel and Lambadelta, about their opinions of her fan fictions. When she had reached their tiny room where they held tea parties, they had her sit down. After two comments that almost resulted in her death, a boy around the age of 18 with red hair rescued her with a price. The price was a rub… a rub that involved her chest.
Of course, the young girl had none. But Battler persisted and chased after her. Panicking and having no other weapon than scripts she was writing for one of her fan fictions, she slammed the notebook into his face. A red circle with the word "repelled" surfaced onto his face. As a joke, the two witches then proceeded to give her a fake celebration to chase her out.
However, Bernkastel who certainly couldn't tell between a real joke, and just a joke, (what's the difference, I'm not sure) had already given her real powers.
Now, the girl, who went by her pen name at Fan Fiction dot Net, Mimi Mika was all around the world. Reports about sexual harassments and sexual assaults were all over the television. Rumors sprouted out about a girl wearing a weird red dress, running around in alleys with an army of pigs who farted on a man's face before repelling them. And all of the men loved none other than looking at girl's panties, flipping up their skirts, pulling down their shirts, and other things that aren't appropriate to put in this fan fiction.
Battler, the first unfortunate victim of the Witch of Repelling Perverts, emerged onto a chair beside them with the help of golden butterflies. His face still had the red circle on it and his blue eyes were full of annoyance. His red eyebrows were furrowed severely and his hand was holding up his head. His foot was also tapping the floor rapidly.
Almost shouting, he said, "I need to refill my pervert bar!" Eyes sparkling, images of women flew into his mind. "If I don't, I'm going to go insane from withdrawal!"
Lambadelta pulled off her boot and flung it at Battler. When his head hit the floor, her boot flew back to her automatically into her hand. "Stupid, stupid Battler! If you want to rub something, go get a cat or dog!"
Bernkastel floated from her seat and landed before him. He could spot her black Mary Jane shoes, polished nice and neat recently. "Would you like a black cat?"
Battler shook his head and got back up onto his feet. "I WANT A GIRL!" Then he began to cry.
In the distant night, somewhere, a scream from another perverted man was heard. The three of them spun their attentions in that direction. Lambadelta shot Bernkastel a look. "Bern, that was—"
The purple-haired witch finished her sentence. "—the Witch of Repelling Perverts!"
~O~O~O~O~O~
The girl, her hair messily tied into a ponytail, was cackling. A poor man, (not necessarily being in poverty) was kneeling before her. He was shaking and in his hand was a pink bra he had stolen from a woman's laundry basket. His brown hair covered his purple eyes and he seemed to be very scared.
"I see you are scheming evil things, young man. Hasn't your mother told you that undergarments belong to the owner?" The girl stabbed her thin and black fountain pen/staff at his face, poking the bangs from his eyes. "If I recall, that bra belongs to Ryuugu Rena, Sonozaki Mion, or Sonozaki Shion. Which one did you steal it from, Maebara Keiichi?"
Keiichi leaped away from the witch's presence. Her layered red dress, colorful arm and knee armor guards, white ribbon tied at her neck and black military boots was intimidating in his eyes. In fact, one might say the Hinamizawa Syndrome was taking effect.
"Scared? Shaking? Perhaps feeling guilty?" Mimi Mika leaned into his face, her face wicked but her eyes shining with justice.
"No… don't kill me… why… ARGH!" All of a sudden, Keiichi pulled out a black bat, with black characters spelling out a name such as "Satoshi" on the edge of it. Armed with the metal rod, he lashed it menacingly in front of Mimi Mika. She quickly backed away, still smirking. She brought down a hand onto the floor. A similarly crimson hue circle spread out from the floor.
"Arise, sisters of Repellent. Feed this man salvation or a curse, depending on his verdict of your choice!"
Pigs of all sizes, purple, blue, pink, red, brown, peach, black, silver, white, and even green materialized. They stood on stone pedestals, to which they jumped down from to confront Keiichi with the bat. Snorting and preparing their butts for their ultimate weapon, gas, they dug their noses into his shirt and legs. The boy hit them mercilessly with the bat, but they persisted until they received his scent.
"OINK, OINK, OINKIE OINK OINK." Those words seemed to make sense to the Witch of Repelling perverts, because she soon was staring at Keiichi with a pitiful look. She also shook her head disapprovingly.
"I thought you had a chance. But in the end…" Her fountain pen found its way in his face again. "You're nothing but a boy who has no life!"
"WEIRD PERSON!" he cried, and charged at her with the bat. The pigs that were caught in surprise were heaved aside from his feet. Clashing with her pen, they glared at each other with hateful eyes.
"Wait just a darn minute," Battler exclaimed, darting at the point where her pen and his bat met. When he was about to touch the weapons, he twirled around in the air once, making a full 360 degree turn, and smashed his foot into Mimi Mika's face. She flew into a building, breaking 17 windows, 2 desks, and 34 cans of soups.
She swiftly recovered consciousness and appeared at the scene again, to find Battler and Keiichi shaking hands. Keiichi's face was of gratefulness, because he was obviously saved. His hand still clutched the bra. When she spotted that, her face turned red from fury. She faced Battler with renewed hate.
"WHO ARE YOU? AND WHY DID YOU STOP GOD'S PUNISHMENT?"
Battler sprinted at her until he was an inch from her nose. He pointed his index finger at his face. "Remember this circle? REMEMBER? YOU REJECTED ME!"
Mimi Mika fluffed her hair with her hand, even though all her hair was tied up, so she was just patting imaginary hair and the air. "I don't remember sinful committers."
"I WAS and STILL AIN'T A SINFUL MAN!" He thrust a finger at her. "I'll prove it to you with my blue truth!"
Bernkastel and Lambadelta cringed. They knew the blue truth that was the counterattack for the red truth of the witches was powerful, if used correctly. What would Mimi Mika do, now that she was an official witch?
"Blue truth?" She cackled and sneered at him. "Okay, I'll play this little game of yours with you. According to this weird list of witch stuff I get to do, it says I can use a red truth."
"Yup. But it's no match for my blue!" He shut his eyes and reopened them, his shining azure irises becoming brighter with each second. "You were a mortal girl!"
She shook her head, her mouth opening to speak. "But you are a pervert," the words were said in red. "What I was before has nothing to do with this."
"Yes, because you are a mortal human, you are carried away by emotions too easily! Repeat this! Nothing that involved your private spots happened a long time ago in a big event!" The blue sentence became a stake and stabbed her arm. Surprised, she screamed and tried to hit it with her pen. She began to panic.
"I refuse," she said. "I have not participated in any big events in my life so far."
Battler grinned. "What I meant by events, is an incident! Repeat! Were you violated by a boy before?"
Mimi Mika almost tore her hair apart. How could she be losing to a pervert? No, all this was lies! Lies! All of it! Itmust be because she was a witch now that she was vulnerable to these lies! Then all at once, she found a way to "turn the chessboard around". Her mouth was stretched to a grin again as she felt her confidence return.
"Ushiromiya Battler," she said with a smug tone in her voice. "Are you sure you have claimed victory. Because I have a statement that will knock you off your toes!" She countered his finger with her own, the phalange aimed at his face rudely. "The one who violated Mimi Mika was Ushiromiya Battler! Therefore, he is a sinner, and punishment given by Mimi Mika is allowed!"
Bernkastel and Lambadelta, who were watching this with amusement, were shocked. "You met this girl before?" Their voices rose octaves when the red sentence had disappeared into thin air after being said.
The perverted eighteen-year-old shook his head. "L-Lies! NO! I didn't—" But the pigs had resurrected and began to charge at him. As the sweat trickled down his cheek, he was wondering what was worst, Beatrice's golden butterflies of death, or stinky pigs that farted after eating leftover hotdogs. Then the fur was on his face, the bruises all over his body. He screamed out in pain, in agony just as he did when the goats of Beatrice had eaten him.
However, the sound of a certain golden lion named Sakutaro saved; because the stuffed animal was running in the direction of their wit battle… with seven sisters of purgatory racing after him. He was yelling out nonsense words such as "uu" and "urdyu" until the Witch of Repelling Perverts noticed them. She was too late when she turned around, for he and the sisters had trampled her under their shoes.
The pigs dispersed into nothingness as Mimi Mika returned to a mild mannered girl wearing the oversized shirt. Battler sat up, still screaming until he spotted the sisters. His smile came back when he saw Mimi Mika was exposed and helpless.
"Heh heh," he murmured, walking around the sisters and his hands in a gesture that made the poor girl yelp. "You're going to pay," he said.
He dragged her into a hotel, where paper and fresh ink was ordered. There, for seven days and nights, she was forced to write a total confession of her loss to Ushiromiya Kinzo's grandson. Having signed her name at the bottom, she proceeded to write a fan fiction titled "The Tea Party: Henn no Majo".
And thus, that is why this fan fiction or as you might call it, revenge was written.
The End. Have a nice dream.