What to say? I guess I knew my fairytale ending wasn't really the ending it promised to be. But I hadn't realised another type of ending was on the horizon.

I raced to the beach, expecting Bella to be there waiting for me. I felt guilty, leaving her alone all the time, but what else could I do? I had to help the guys hunt down the red-haired bloodsucker (Victoria, apparently) and I hoped I'd get a piece of the action. I wanted to kill that leech so bad I had trouble not hitting the nearest thing to me. In this case, it would've been a tree. Rangers tended to notice when these trees fall down. I think they had some rare bird type nesting in them or something.

I smiled as I rounded the familiar corner to First Beach and saw Bella's rusty old Chevy in the otherwise empty parking lot. I ran to the beach, unable to stop grinning- maybe, just maybe… today would be my day.

She wasn't on the beach, or sitting on our tree. For some reason this worried me. Don't be stupid, I thought. She probably went back to the house. It's too cold for Bella out here anyway. Yeah, she would've gone inside to grab a hot drink or something.

I ran up the empty road, trying to ignore the pessimism that was slowly taking over my brain. It whispered rhetorical questions to me, and each question was a knife, penetrating my thick emotional skin and eating at me before I could yank it out.

Why would she leave her truck at the beach? What if the red-head got to her? What if she tripped in the woods? What if she fell in the sea? What if…

And then I stepped through the door, and the only thing I could see was my dad's face.

Hey, dad. I wanted to say, Where's Bella? But the sight of his tear stained face had the words stuck in my throat. His hand rested on the phone, like he'd just put it down, and he was staring at me as if trying to communicate some silent message to me. When that failed, he finally spoke.

"I… I'm so sorry, Jake." His throat caught on the last few words. I couldn't do anything but stare, but he seemed to understand my wordless plea for an explanation. He nodded and sighed, closing his eyes as he forced the words out in a whisper.

"A couple of kids from Forks found Bella on the beach- friends of hers. She was unconscious under that old driftwood tree, and her heart…," He choked, but I said nothing. My own heart thumped violently against my ribs as I waited. "Her heart was barely beating. They didn't have a phone, so they ran to the nearest house- here. I rang for an ambulance, and she's at the hospital now. Charlie is with her. They did some scans…"


Spit it out, Dad, I would have said- if I could find my mouth. My body was nothing now, just a shell for the emptiness that was me...

"Turns out the tumours' been developing for a few months now. Left side of the brain…"

I was barely aware of anything now, so I didn't notice when he stopped speaking to stare at me. I could only think one word…

Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella…

"I have to get to the hospital." I heard a voice say- with a start, I realised it was me.

Billy nodded and picked up the keys to my bike, which were right next to him, throwing them to me.

And then, without knowing how or when I had gotten there, I was at the hospital, sitting by my comatose best friend's bed as she struggled to breathe.

"You can hear me, can't you?" I smiled sadly at my best friend, too deep into her coma to acknowledge me. Billy and Charlie had thoughtfully given me some time alone- something that I tried to avoid at all costs these days. Time alone meant time to think. And the pessimism I'd fought against since the beginning was rooted deep into my brain now. Like I had a tumour of my own…

I was having treatment for stress, and also had to see a counsellor four times a week to deal with my "bereavement". This is stupid, I'd always argue. Why don't you spend time on fixing whatever the hell is wrong with Bella instead of messing around in my head?

But they never listen, do they?

Not like Bella. I knew she was listening. I'd never say it, but I knew that she was in there somewhere, fighting to live.

"Whatever you do, Bells," I whispered to her, whilst the still intact side of my brain thought about how corny this was going to sound. "Don't stop fighting."