The five-year mission was over.

The crew of the Enterprise beamed down to Starfleet Headquarters to find that a crowd of people had gathered around the transporter pad to applaud them as they arrived. The banquets and ceremonies and speeches had seemed to drag on forever, but they too had finally come to an end.

James T. Kirk, however, remained a man on a mission.

So much had been going on that he had not had a chance to talk to the one person he wanted to talk to the most. He was not sure what Commander Spock's plans were, and he desperately needed to know.

Those smiling faces and clapping hands that had greeted the crew upon its return were mostly directed at him, he knew. Not only was he the youngest starship captain in the history of the fleet, he had also returned with the ship and crew relatively intact, which was something that few people managed. The medals Starfleet presented him with, however, were superficial. No one who had not been on the Enterprise these past five years could know just how much he had depended on Spock. They were both highly skilled individuals, but apart they would have remained relatively insignificant. Together, however, Kirk was beginning to think that they could literally do anything.

He had always felt deep affection towards his first officer, but it was not until he stated giving serious thought to his next move that he realized it would be a sin—downright illogical—to make it without Spock.

They wanted to promote him. That much was clear. Kirk was conflicted. On the one hand, he liked the way "Admiral James Tiberius Kirk" sounded. On the other hand, sitting around at Starfleet all day seemed a gray alternative to racing around the galaxy with Spock on the Enterprise.

Kirk glanced at the clock on the wall. He had invited Spock to come over at 19:00 hours, and he knew he could count on the Vulcan to be on time.

However, the clock read 17:06. Kirk started pacing. He had already spent at least an hour straightening up the rooms he was quartering in temporarily, making sure that they looked neat—but not too neat. He had showered for longer than usual and spent an inordinate amount of time getting dressed before he realized that this was going to be different from anything he had ever experienced. He had been in similar situations—he had (quite successfully) impressed many girls back home in Iowa, and this had not stopped when he joined Starfleet. As the year passed, a few men had slipped into the ranks as well, but the act was always the same. Kirk had fancied himself to be in love with some of them. Most of the time, though, all he wanted to do was seduce his partner.

Spock was not only a different species than any of Kirk's previous companions, he also meant more. Kirk knew that Spock was unlikely to be impressed by fancy clothing or smooth talk.

Kirk was still nervous. He decided that the best thing to do would be to take a walk.

He left Starfleet Headquarters and walked over to a nearby park. There he sat. No matter how hard he tried to stop them, his thoughts turned immediately to Spock.

There had definitely been a mutual attraction between the two of them for a long time. It had started sometime in between moves during one of their weekly games of chess and progressed from there. They flirted, teased, and eyed one another. Spock seemed to act differently around Kirk than he did around anyone else, and Kirk knew that he never looked at or talked to anyone else the way he looked at and talked to Spock. There was just something about him that made Kirk's stomach flip over violently.

Kirk shivered, then looked around to make sure that no one had seen. He recalled a conversation that he'd had with McCoy a few months into the five-year mission.

"Jim," he had asked, "what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" asked Kirk, genuinely perplexed. At the same time, however, he wondered—had he been too obvious? That seemed unlikely.

Apparently he had. "Jim, you are the captain. Now, I know that I spend more time around you and Spock than most people on this ship. So naturally, I notice more of your little games. That's why I didn't say anything before. But they're starting to talk, man!"

"Who is starting to talk?"

"They crew, everyone at Starbase Five when we were there last week…"

"Say what you mean, Bones."

"You need to lay off Spock."

The words hit Kirk like cold water. "Do you mean to tell me that someone has been spreading rumors about me and Spock?"

"Are they really just rumors, Jim?"

Kirk thought about this. No, he and Spock were far from being in any kind of relationship. They had barely ever come into physical contact, something that Kirk was admittedly trying very hard to fix. "Come on, Bones," he said, "Don't be absurd. If I paid attention to everything everyone said about me, I wouldn't have become the captain of the Enterprise. People like to talk. Now excuse me…"

But Bones was talking again. "Now, I know that every man and woman on this starship is entitled to have relationships with whomever they like, whenever they like. But it's damned unprofessional for you to be up there on the bridge all the time making important decisions while flirting with your first officer! You're the captain, and standards are different for you. Come to think of it, standards are different for him, too! He needs to be able to keep face with the crew as well. I know I'm just the doctor, and I can't order you to so anything. But I'm also your friend, Jim, and I've got to tell you—this thing is getting out of control!"

Kirk, who had tried unsuccessfully to interrupt McCoy several times during his speech, looked at the doctor. "What's your advice, Bones?"

"Stop. And if you really can't keep your pants on, which really seems unlikely, have him transferred. I know it's drastic, but things are only going to get worse from here."

There was an awkward pause in which both men looked at the floor.

"What's the big idea, anyway?" McCoy asked abruptly, "I'm sure I don't need to tell you any of this. You know what you should and shouldn't do on the bridge. Why are you acting like you don't?"

Kirk said he didn't know. "I can't have him transferred, Bones," he added, "That wouldn't be fair to the crew. It's my job to bring them home alive, and I need Spock to help me do that."

McCoy nodded, looking troubled.

Over the years, the doctor grew to accept that Kirk and Spock were both going to remain on the bridge of the Enterprise, and that trying to keep them from staring goggle-eyed at each other was like trying to keep Scotty out of the engine room for more than a couple of hours. It was natural, and countless lives were saved as a result of the bond the two had developed. It was, as they say, destiny. For once in his life, McCoy had been beaten by the mysterious logic of the human body.

Spock was due in Kirk's apartment in an hour. Kirk went back to start cooking.

As he had predicted, Spock arrived at precisely seven o'clock. Their dinner, while excellent, was nearly silent except for the clink of forks. Kirk had decided that music would be too much of a cliché, so he fought to make small talk to drown out the buzz of the all-too-meaningful silence. Kirk knew that Spock hated small talk, and Spock knew that Kirk knew that. Spock must have figured out by now that he was here for a reason, and for the first time Kirk felt slightly apprehensive in his presence.

It had taken Kirk a matter of weeks to begin to suspect that his attraction for Spock was mutual, but it took him much longer to be sure. Every time Spock spurned the advances of a girl he inwardly cheered. However, this was the Vulcan way. It was not until he had seen Spock experience ponn farr that he was sure about how Spock felt about him.

Spock had seemed pained the entire time, but never so much as when he was around Kirk. Kirk had seen his friend's body start to tremble as he approached him, and wondered if…but no, that couldn't be.

It wasn't until Spock revealed the nature of his condition that Kirk realized that yes, in fact, it could be. He laughed when he realized why Spock had looked precisely the way he had when Kirk has asked if what Spock needed was "something only your planet could do for you." The irony of the situation was, in retrospect, almost disgusting.

Still, years had passed. Spock was not the type to change his mind about a person, but he was the type to deny himself something he saw to be "illogical."

Dinner was over. Kirk took the plates into the kitchen. "That was very good," said Spock.

The two sat down in the living room. "Spock, there's something I need to talk to you about," Kirk said.

Something in his words made Spock stiffen ever so slightly in the armchair he was sitting on. Kirk had sat on the sofa, hoping in vain that Spock would choose to join him there. Spock's chosen seat, however, was halfway across the room. This, combined with Spock's almost imperceptible reaction to Kirk's words, did not bode well.

"I suspected as much when you invited me over tonight, Captain."

Captain. He had called Kirk "Captain." Not Jim. Had Kirk been any less brave (or any less stupid and impulsive, as he later came to think), he would have dropped the subject right then and there. As it was, he was Starship Captain James T. Kirk, and he had had at least two full glasses of wine with dinner as well as a few swallows of his favorite Saurian brandy before Spock's arrival. He abandoned the lines he had practiced nervously in front of the mirror earlier.

Kirk slid from the couch and sat on the coffee table directly in front of Spock. He leaned forwards a little. "What's the point in talking about something we already know all about and agree on?"

Spock's face remained impassive. "If that is the nature of the topic we are here to discuss, I submit that it is pointless for us to be here at all."

Typical evasive Spock. Kirk loved it.

Kirk took a deep breath. "Spock…"

He tried to finish, but the last three words just wouldn't come.

"Spock," he tried again, "you once told me to let you help." ***

"Jim…" started Spock, who had clearly abandoned any pretense of ignorance as to the point of their meeting. His hands twitched. Emboldened by the sound of his first name, Kirk stood up, took Spock's face in his hands, leaned forwards and kissed him.

For a moment, everything seemed to stand still. Spock broke away. The look in Spock's eyes sent a wave of happiness through Kirk. He was victorious.

All of a sudden, they had both started breathing again. For a brief moment, Kirk felt as though electricity was shooting up his arms as Spock reached up to touch Kirk's hands, but then Spock pushed them from where they had come to rest on his shoulders. He stood up and started walking towards the door. Spock paused just before exiting, then continued out. Faintly, Kirk heard him mutter something about still not being able to understand humans.

Kirk felt as though he could not move. He stayed in the position that Spock had left him sitting in for almost an hour.

***In The City on the Edge of Forever, we learn that some dude wrote a book in the future-for-us-past-for-Kirk-and-Spock in which he advocated using "let me help" as an expression of devotion, even over "I love you."

Spock says this to Kirk in the very next episode.