A Thousand Words
Summary—She swore to him that she'd come home. "Save your tears. I'll be fine, and you know it," she'd said. If only he could turn back the pages and keep her where she belonged—with him. Whether it's AJ or AG is open to interpretation. Songfic.
Disclaimer—I don't own the rights to the song, or to TP's work. Just playing with it for a while, if that's alright.
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I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me.
Your words were like a dream,
But dreams could never fool me...
Not that easily.
He paced angrily in his study, his normally calm visage contorted with worry and pain.
Twenty-six days. Twenty-six days, she had gone without writing. She always wrote every few days, normally a tiny scrap of paper reading only, "I'm alive," but it was enough for him.
Oh, Alanna. His Alanna. What wouldn't he give for just that one tiny scrap of news?
But twenty-six days. It was twenty-six days too long for him. Not even his flawless spy network had been able to tell him anything. They'd give him the daily death toll counts, but then…
"What about the Lioness?" he'd ask.
"Still no news, sir," they'd say.
"Fine," he'd reply, thank them, and then go back to his pacing.
I acted so distant then.
Didn't say good-bye before you left,
But I was listening.
You fight your battles far from me...
Far too easily.
'Save your tears 'Cause I'll come back'
I could hear that you whispered
As you walked through that door,
But still I swore to hide that pain
When I turn back the pages.
Shouting might've been the answer then.
What if I cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But she swore. She swore on her honor as a knight that she would return from this.
"Save your tears," she'd said. "I'll be fine, and you know it." And with a smirk, she'd just walked out. Out of his life, and probably forever.
No. No! You cannot think like that!
He ran a hand through his dark hair, growling angrily at himself the whole way—in his shock at her decision, he hadn't even said goodbye. He cursed himself every day for that. What if he took her and kissed her with such ferocity that it changed her mind?
No. That wouldn't do it. Such a small thing had never deterred her before.
What if he'd cried? Pleaded? Begged? Done all the things that she'd never expect from him?
No. That would never have happened—his pride would have never allowed it at the time, but in hindsight…
Why couldn't he just go back? Prevent all this horrible pain? This horrible feeling whenever he hears about a new death toll, but nothing else. What if one of those tallies was hers?
He looked down at the paper. Two-hundred, forty-six today. Gods, Alanna. What if one in that total is you? He ripped the paper up, knowing that a copy had already been sent to the other captor of Alanna's heart. He could always ask for that one, but he couldn't look at the one in his hand any longer.
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart...
He loved her. Gods, he loved her! Why had not said it as often as he should have? Why had he not told her every second of every day how much she meant to him, and his sanity? So long had they been together…he didn't know if he could go back.
'Cause a Thousand words,
Called out Through the Ages.
They'll Fly to you,
Even Though I can see,
I Know That Reaching you,
Suspended on Silver Wings.
Her children, too.
He hadn't even considered them within the last few days. How would her children survive with the death of their mother? They'd still have a father…but the fact remained that it would be one mother short of a family. The thought sickened him to the core.
He balled his hand into a fist, but otherwise removed himself behind his calm façade—There was only one thing for it.
He marched out of his study for the first time in days and straight to his favorite carrier pigeon.
He wrote two simple words on a tiny scrap of paper, a direct compliment of the two words she'd sent to him:
Come home.
What he sent with those two words—all the love, all the worry, all the fear—couldn't have been replaced by a thousand. He was sure she'd get the message, and Death itself wouldn't get in her way.
As the pigeon flew away, hope and faith replaced the doubt and fear that had been festering in him for twenty-six days
She would receive his message, and whatever had been holding her back would lose its grip. She would cling to those two words like a child to its mother, and with them, she would find her way home.
It was something he should have done ages ago.
Oh a Thousand Words
One Thousand Embraces
Will Cradle You
Making all of Your Weary Days Seem Far Away
They'll Hold you Forever…
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A/N— When I wrote this, I was writing it from Jon's point of view, and then realized that it could be from George's too, so whichever pairing suits you is fine by me! Also, songfics aren't normally my thing, but I couldn't resist this. I reread one of my older works—Come What May—and I wondered, "Why can't I write like that anymore?" I must be getting old and sloppy. (
So, I decided to retrace my roots and see if I could get any of my old luster back, and that meant a step back into Tamora Pierce's world. That's where I started—it's my original home with writing, and I think I may have moved out a little too early.
So, that's my sob story, and I'll leave it at that, because chances are, you probably just came in here for the story I wrote (and not mine).
So, thanks for reading, and if you made it all the way through the author's note, well, then…I don't know, but thanks for reading anyway!
kt