I wrote this back in November 2017, a month after I had taking a liking to the Loud House. I added some finishing touches this April 2019, and have decided to post it. Note that it's definitely not my best fanfic, and I, as of currently, am no longer a big Loud House fan like I used to be, so don't expect any updates.
Lisa Loud woke up early one summer, her room musty and humid. She got up, yawned and stretched. Returning to her bed, she restlessly tossed and turned. Getting back to sleep was not easy. In fact, it was now hopeless. So the little genius put on her glasses and tiptoed over to Lily's crib.
"Look at this little child," Lisa sighed. "She is so innocent, yet so guilty." Lisa spun around to face the pile of dirty diapers by her bed. She held her nose and tried not to gag.
Lisa, still wearing her pajamas, quietly made her way down the stairs for a much needed drink. Lucy sat mysteriously in the living room.
"Good morning, Lucy," Lisa said. "What are you going about?"
Lucy was not startled by Lisa's silent entrance. Her nose was deep in the book she was holding.
"Reading," Lucy groaned. She turned a page quickly, eager to find out what the next chapter was about.
"May I peer over your shoulder and read with you?" Lisa asked, crawling onto the couch.
"No thanks. This book is, err, not your type." It was clear that she was lying.
"How am I sure until I take in the information for myself?" She peeked at the chapter title: "Love in the Night".
Lucy pushed her away and blushed furiously. "Lisa! Why are you peeking?"
"I am the one who should be asking the questions. Do the other siblings know what you are reading, Lucy?" Lisa inquired, adjusting her glasses and crossing her arms. "It seems most unsuitable for your age range."
Lucy shut her book. "No. And don't tell them. It would be embarrassing!" Tucking her book under her arm, she prepared to walk upstairs. Lisa stopped her.
"Can you even comprehend what this book is implying?" the prodigy asked her with seriousness in her voice. Quickly she added, "Besides vampires and fairytales partaking in courtship?"
"Lisa, I get what it's about, sure," she replied at the base of the steps. "And I know it doesn't sound the most appropriate, but I still think it's interesting."
"Only read what you believe you can process correctly, I suppose," Lisa warned as she watched the goth head upstairs with her book.
Lucy silently crept into her and Lynn Jr.'s room as not to wake her. She snuggled her body under the warm blankets of her gloomy bed, and with free arms, held the book out in front of her. The chapter read:
Vampiretta entered the cottage. Bells that hung from the roof chimed softly. A warm presence flooded over her. This was it. A night at the phantom's.
"Come here, my darling," the phantom coaxed. "Sit down beside me." He patted a stool by the table. "I prepared a delicious meal of Gutter's soup. Extra blood broth."
Vampiretta licked her lips. She did love a hardy bowl of Gutter's soup. "Why, thank you!" she said politely. "This soup looks lovely." She sat down and dipped a silver spoon deep into the steaming blood broth and brain matter.
The phantom eagerly watched her sip her soup. He had something planned for his dear Vampiretta. Something juicier than the Gutter's soup he watched her fill her mouth with.
Vampiretta set the empty soup bowl down. "Thank you, Mr. Phantom," she said as she smiled. She got up from her seat at the table and followed the eager phantom into his bedroom. "What is it that you would like me to do in here? Shall I stay the night?"
The phantom smiled romantically. "Yes, my dear. Stay very long. There is much Gutter's soup for you." He flopped onto the dusty, old bed. "Come here."
Vampiretta quickly laid herself on the bed with him. "What is it, Mr. Phantom?" She noticed him smirk.
"I was wondering if tonight could be... the night?" A blush swept over his pale face. "If you may?"
The vampire felt her face heat up. The blankets were startling to ruffle with the movement. "Oh, you handsome devil!" And they rolled amongst each other in bed, wildly.
Lucy blushed and ducked further under her covers with the book and Edwin to pretend she was in the place of Vampiretta. "Oh, tonight?" she asked Edwin.
"If you may," she made Edwin reply.
"You are so romantic, Edwin, that I must ruffle up the covers with you." She stroked the Edwin bust.
"But who will make the bed afterwards?"
Lucy smiled. "I will."
"Lucy, quiet down," Lynn mumbled, half-asleep. She moaned as she tossed and turned. Lucy's face flushed as it reminded her of the "blanket-ruffling" she read about in her book, "The Phantom in the Cottage".
"Sorry," Lucy groaned. She then quietly resumed her talk with Edwin. "So, Edwin, after dinner? Maybe we are having Gutter's soup."
Edwin bobbed up and down as Lucy talked for him. "That would be splendid. We can ruffle the blankets and kiss, perhaps, after supper."
The goth smiled happily, something that was unusual for someone like her.
After the entire Loud family had awoken, they gathered at the table for breakfast. Their stomaches rumbled furiously.
"C'mon, guys! Who's gonna prepare the grub? I'm starved," Lynn complained.
"Let's not go through hectic shenanigans again. Remember the consequences of the meal we all cooked together?" Lisa reminded them.
Everyone nodded. A loud bang rang through the kitchen. The children jumped. Lynn Sr. had slammed his fist on the table, hangry.
"Someone, please just think of something!" he stressed.
Lincoln shyly raised his hand. "I can make eggs for guys." He got up from his seat and opened the refrigerator, pulling out three cartons of eggs.
Luan grinned widely. "I don't wanna 'crack' any jokes, but this pun was 'well-done', don't you think?" She laughed wildly.
"Good one, Luan," Lincoln laughed, cracking an egg over a heated pan.
After filling themselves, Lucy met up with Lana and Lola at the base of the steps. "Can we talk in your room, please?" she asked shyly, running her fingers through her hair.
"Sure," Lana and Lola simultaneously replied. "What's up?"
"I'll tell you when we're in your room." Lucy headed up the steps quickly and quietly.
Lola noticed Lucy head into her dreary side of the room. "Whatcha doing?" the pageant queen asked curiously.
"Just grabbing something real quick. Head to your room," she called.
In Lana and Lola's room, the girls sat crisscross in the middle of the floor, door shut and locked. The twins bounced impatiently on the carpet.
"So what is it?!" Lola wanted to know.
"Shh," Lucy growled. "It's about this book: 'Phantom in the Cottage'." She blushed. "It's a fairytale romance, but I need Lana to read this part to you." She pointed a pale finger at the end of the chapter "Love in the Night".
"...'And they rolled amongst each other in bed, wildly.'" Lana finished.
Lola shrugged. "What does it mean?"
"I don't know," Lucy admitted. "I was hoping you would. Lisa obviously knows what it is, but if I asked she would probably threaten to tell our parents. She said it is not the most suitable read for my age range, or something like that."
"What's the rating?" Lana asked. She looked at the back of the book. It read: "Teen. Not recommended for younger children. Contains sexual scenes." "I can't read some of these words," she whined. "What is the third statement about?"
Lucy frowned. "I am not sure. Maybe we do need to consult Lisa."
"I wouldn't," Lola growled, pounding her fist on the carpet. "That smartypants would ruin the fun in trying to figure it out ourselves. Plus, do we really want a long explanation, words we don't understand, and a face full of spit? I don't think so..."
The other two siblings nodded in agreement. "Also, what if it's a bad word, and Lisa thinks we're reading grown-up books?" Lana shuttered at the thought.
"Well, it's rated teen," Lucy reminded her. "It's still above my age range, though. The book made me feel weird, anyway." Touching her pale face she could feel her cheeks were burning up. "It made me want to do 'blanket-ruffling' with Edwin. It felt deeper than just a kiss. It felt- We need Lisa!"
Lola gasped in horror. "I will not stand for that stuck-up genius!"
"But Lucy's right," Lana tried to tell her. "Lisa can explain everything. Then there'll be no more guess work. Just straight up answers!"
Lucy nodded. "Thanks! Now, let's find Lisa." She opened the door.
A knock could be heard on Lisa and Lily's door.
"Come in!" Lisa said as she solved complex equations on her chalkboard.
"This room smells awful," Lola whined. "Did you have an accident in here?" She fanned her personal space to rid it of the rotten atmosphere.
"I most certainly did not!" Lisa insisted with a strong lisp, sounding quite offended. Pointing at a pile of Lily's diapers, she said, "That's the explanation for the cause of the air pollution."
Plugging her nose, Lucy held out her mysterious book. "We have a question for you," she said plainly.
"Sit," Lisa told them, patting the rough carpet beneath their feet. "Show me what's puzzling you."
She took the book from Lucy and read the back of it. "'Teen. Not recommended for younger children. Sexual scenes present...'"
The three other siblings could see Lisa's face begin to heat up, turning a glowing bright red. "You okay?" Lucy asked with worry.
"Yes, it's just that," Lisa stuttered, "what you're reading is inappropriate and I will not allow you to continue reading it. It will corrupt your developing minds." She pressed the back of her hand to her red cheek, surprised at it's hotness.
"Give me a good reason why I should stop reading it," Lucy said with a growl. "I love this book."
"Look, Lucy, there are some things you don't need to know about until you're older."
Lola huffed. "Might I remind you, Ms. Brains, that you're only four?"
"Hey, there are some things I wish I didn't know until I were older. That's why I'm trying to protect Lucy's innocence."
"Can I be honest with you, Lisa?" the goth said, looking nervous behind her hair.
Lisa nodded.
"This book, it's... doing something to my head. The words on the pages spark something inside of me. Something romantic, but more than just that. More than kissing and stuff. I can't really explain it."
Lisa smiled, inhaling. "...Lucy, I think we need to have 'The Talk'."
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Also, I write SpongeBob fanfiction, so you may want to check that out.