I don't own Sea Patrol.

Warning: This fic contains drunkness, alcohol and rape. Read at your own risk.

This is from Susan McGregor's POV incase you didn't know...

The sun was setting on a small town. Dust was blowing down the street and the paint was peeling away from the houses. A gate was swinging in the breeze, one of its hinges had broken off. The garden was overrun with weeds. There were floorboards missing from the porch and the flyscreen had a big hole in it proving it useless to flies. There were no lights on inside but there was obviously someone in there because there was a shuffling sound that could be heard if a person walking by strained their ears.

In the living room there was a huge fireplace that hadn't obviously been used for a long time and a big window that was open to let in the breeze. One of the sofas had been slashed and overturned. Paper and clothes littered the floor making the place look more cluttered than it actually was. A middle aged woman was slumped against a couch, with only her back touching the couch, the rest touch the floor. Her head lolled about and her had clutched a bottle which had a label on it saying 'vodka'. Her chest rose and fell indicating that she was asleep.

The sound of a car backfiring jolted the woman awake. Her blue eyes flew to the front door, looking as if she was expecting someone to come through the door any minute. After a few minutes of staring her eyes turned away and tears grew out of the corner of her eyes.

"Where are you?" She whispered, pleadingly to the wind.

Her lips pressed themselves together as she tried not to cry. She shook her head and staggered to her feet, taking the bottle of vodka with her. She managed to make her way to the front door. After four attempts to open the door she pulls the door open. As she looked down the garden path her eyes widened in surprise. Her next door neighbour was slowly walking up the path. The neighbour stops when she reached the woman.

"Susan." She said coolly. She had no emotion on her face as she hands Susan the peice of paper that she had in her hand. "Kate told me to give this to you." The woman smiled unpleasently as she watched the blue eyed woman read the note her eyes squinting as she made out the words.

Dear Ms. McGregor,

No, I can't call you mother because you have never been a mother to me. You've never tried to care for me or help me when I've needed it. You've hurt me and I've had enough. I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. Don't try and find me.

Farewell,

Katie

Susan who was sober now, clenched the piece of paper into her fist. She knew it was coming but still it was a shock. She looked up into the eyes of her neighbour. There was no compassion in them, in fact they were cold.

"You didn't think she'd leave you. Ha! Serves you right for treating her like you did." The neighbour sneers at her. "You deserved what you got, which is, nothing!" The neighbour turned and walked away leaving a stunned mother behind.

Susan slowly moved to one of the poles that held up the porch. She leant again it and then slowly slid down as she thought about the letter and its sender.

A blonde girl, with green eyes floated through her mind. Smiling when she saved a butterfly from a spider or when she saw the first star and made a wish. She was precious and beautiful but she also reminded her of the father. The one who had hurt her when she was young. She hadn't wanted Katie in the first place but it had happened and she had been shipped away to look after this small being. She had been a disgrace from her family though she had told Katie that it was because some man. She didn't want Katie to know that she had been born as rape victim.

'You deserved what you got!'

Repeated in her head until she snapped her head back into the pole. As she rubbed her head Susan glanced up at the sky and saw a twinkling dot. Susan smiled, The first star. Make a wish.

The woman murmered softly, "I may not have been the best mother but I wish the best for you and that no matter what happens in your life, you will be strong." She laughed bitterly, "Stronger than me anyway and that your life will be filled with happiness and be whole. I bear you no ill will." She paused then added in a whisper. "I love you Katie. I just wish I had a chance to say goodbye..."

The woman got up slowly and felt wetness on her cheeks, she quickly wiped them away. She walked back inside while taking a swig of vodka as she did. The broken flyscreen slammed shut after she had gone inside.

A/N: This story was inspired by a line from Mr. President by P!NK. "...How do you dream when I mother has no chance to say goodbye..."

I've always wondered how Susan would have felt when Katie left and this is what I've got. Please let me know what you think. I know its not happy but it just felt like it had to be written.

Merry Christmas,

Fantasy