AN: Yeah, I like Cartyle. A lot. I know it's usually called Kyman, but Cartyle sounds prettier, so I call it that. Anyways.
Enjoy this horrible peice of writing.
"What do you think is the most important quality in a person?"
A thin, auburn eyebrow raised in bemusement at the question. He turned his head to the left slightly to glance at Cartman, who was currently lying next to him in the bed of his cherry-red pickup truck. He was met with a pair of smoldering toffee-brown eyes that were lit up in anticipation for the red-head's answer.
Kyle's heartbeat tripped over itself and he did his best not to swoon. He was happy that his hand was gently intertwined with Cartman's, or he figured he might have fallen off the car.
"Hmm. Personality, I guess." he began slowly, still a bit taken aback by the randomness of the question. "A drive to stand up for yourself. Open-mindedness, you know, like tolerance. Sometimes intellect. I...don't like talking to people who aren't smart most of the time." he admitted, giving a little shrug. "...Why do you ask?"
Cartman tensed up slightly at his question, looking up at the pale, cloudy sky as red bloomed on his cheeks. He was silent for a long time, hesitant to answer. Kyle waited patiently, and finally, Cartman sighed.
"I...I'm no good for you." he said slowly.
Kyle narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to protest immediately, but Cartman cut him off. "No, wait, asshole. Let me finish." he pleaded, and Kyle rolled his eyes, allowing the other to continue speaking.
"I want you with me for a long time... so I want to know what you want in a guy." he admitted, looking slightly embarrassed. "So you can be happy with me."
Kyle stared blankly for a moment before bursting into laughter. Cartman glared at him, going red in the face.
"Ay! The fuck are you laughing about, ho?" he snapped, jerking his hand out of Kyle's grip and wriggling off the hood of the car. Kyle flushed sheepishly and sat up.
"No, Cartman, wait. I'm sorry. It's just, well, that's sort of ridiculous." The redhead informed him. "Trying to change yourself to be better for me. That's stupid." He said bluntly, hopping off the car and wrapping his arms around the surprised brunette.
"I like you for you, fucktard. Bitchiness and all." He teased, standing on tiptoes and placing a light kiss to the chestnut-brown haired boy's lips. The other instantly relaxed, wrapping his arms around Kyle's waist and leaning down to nuzzle his red curls.
"You're the bitch, Kahl, not me." He teased, his words not at all matching the affection in his voice. "I think you get it from your mom." He added slowly, giving Kyle a cheeky grin.
Kyle bristled at the other's words, pulling back from the embrace and shooting Cartman an angry look.
"Don't call my mom a bitch, Cartman!" He glared, narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms. "I thought we went over this. I hate it when you call my mom names. Stop doing it."
"Aw." Cartman pouted a little, pretending his feelings were hurt. "I thought you like me for me, Kaahl. That hurts. That hurts me right here." He sniffled, patting his heart. Kyle rolled his eyes, unable to help the small smile that tugged at his lips at Cartman's words.
"I do. That doesn't mean I have to like when you insult my mother." He said calmly, and Cartman grinned.
"Oh, but it does, my dear. Because thinking your mom is a bitch is a part of me. So you have to love it. Ha-ha."
Kyle tensed, clenching his fists and narrowing his eyes. Cartman could see that he was turning red from anger, and he smiled. For reasons he didn't quite understand, he'd always gotten satisfaction from pissing Kyle off.
"You're an asshole, Cartman. I don't want to have sex with you anymore." He decided, turning around and walking away from Cartman's house. "I'm going home."
Cartman scoffed, unfazed. "You don't even have a ride."
"It's not that far." Kyle shrugged, turning right and heading down Cartman's street towards his own neighborhood. "I can walk."
The seriousness of the situation was suddenly very apparent to Cartman, who hurried after Kyle, slightly panicked.
"Wait, Kyle, I-I was kidding! Haha, your mom's not a bitch! She's a kind, amazing, beautiful woman! really! C-come back!" He pleaded. But Kyle would not be swayed.
"Son of a bitch…" He sighed, watching the red-head go.
Cartman really needed to learn how to keep his mouth shut sometimes.
Sorry for the worst ending ever. Review?