Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything belongs to J. K. Rowling. Sadly.

Summary: Crackfic. Why is Harry screaming incoherent sentences? Nobody knows …. or does Ron? Slight RonxHermione. Very slight.

An easy girl

"I told you, Ron : Keep out of my personal affairs!"

"So, if you're draped all over Seamus Finnigan, I'm not allowed to say anything?"

"Although it should be none of your concern, I'll tell you once again: We were drunk and the kiss was absolutely meaningless! So would you please stop acting like a spoiled 5 year-old?"

"It is of my concern!"

"And why would that be?"

"..."

"You see, Ron? There's no reason for you to be that childish!"

"But, Hermione, didn't you tell McGonnagall just yesterday that Ron and I were deeply traumatized from our fight with Voldemort and one has to be considerate of that?"

"Yes, Harry, I said that, so that you two won't be kicked out of school after you turned the greenhouse to ashes absolutely positive Voldemort was attacking. As if a death could attack even a midge. And what did I tell you about eavesdropping at a closed door?"

"Not to … do it?"

"Correct, Harry, and why did you still do it?"

"Err … Hermione … we … I … well … -"

"Oh, my, Harry, don't wet yourself. What could she possibly do? If I want to eavesdrop that's exactly what I do. End of story."

"Really, Ron? Well, then I can kiss everyone whoever I want to."

"No, you can't!"

"What could Ronnie do to prevent me from doing so?"

"I will think of something, Hermione, even if I'll have to lock you in a secret passage!"

"Is that a threat, Ronald?"

"I'd assume - "

"HERMIONE, DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR? IT'S SO SHINY AND VELVETY TODAY. AND YOUR EYES BEAM WITH JOY! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FIGHT AND RUIN YOU PERFECT -"

"Shut up, Harry."

"Thanks, Harry, very kind of you, but didn't I tell you something about volume in public just yesterday?"

"..."

"And you, Ron? Since you interrupted Harry so rudely -"

"You were just as irritated as I was."

"- and now me, too, do you want to tell me that you don't agree with Harry? That would follow in you saying I was ugly. Is that so, Ron?"

"Hermione, would you please stop smiling like that? It's scary."

"Get a grip, Harry! To answer your question, Hermione: You aren't ugly but your hair is as bushy as ever."

"If you think so, I bet you wouldn't want to be seen with someone like me, Ron. Maybe I should sit next to Seamus today."

"Of course, Hermione, why don't you disappear with him and Dean inside the room of requirement? You'll definitely have a lot of fun!"

"How did Dean come into this all of a sudden? It was just a kiss, Ron. No reason to crack like this!"

"You don't want to tell me that you haven't heard the rumours that are all over school, yet, Hermione. You know how girls are called, who - "

"HERMIONE, HAVE YOU ALREADY FINISHED THE ESSAY FOR POTIONS ABOUT

MOONSTONE? I STILL NEED A PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE FURTHER PROCESSING, COULD I - "

"Harry, get lost! Make out with Ginny or something. The adults are talking now."

"..."

"So, Ron … Those rumours … what exactly do they say?"

"Well, they say you were easy to get."

"Really? And you think along the same lines?"

"..."

"Then I have nothing to say to you, Ronald."

"Ron?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"You know, she won't talk to you for another two weeks, don't you?"

"I'll bear it."

"But your marks won't!"

"..."

"We know that you think Hermione is the sexiest when she's angry but to provoke her like that … That's not worth it, buddy."

"..."

"You talk in your sleep, you know."

"... … … !!"

"Last night you babbled something about 'Hermione in all her angry glory'. You can have that easier, Ron. Talk to her or something. Preferably without screaming. AND GOING AWAY WON'T HELP A THING!"