The Case of the Clumsy Criminal
A/N: Someone said there wasn't enough Moriarty humour on here so this is for them. :P Enjoy!
Jim Moriarty was a clever man; there was no doubt about that. He had outsmarted nearly all of his opponents with the exception of Sherlock Holmes. He was careful with who he associated with and was never in danger from any of the people he had cheated or hurt.
Lestrade was sitting in his office on a Thursday morning when the call came in that there had been an attempt on the life of a man near Brixton. As usual he grumbled as he was half way through a cup of coffee but he made his way to the scene. He regretted this as soon as he had gotten there as he now stood face to face with the most dangerous man in London.
"Ah DI Lestrade how good of you to come…no sidekicks today?" Moriarty sneered.
"Well if it isn't our favourite consulting criminal…" Lestrade replied the disgust evident in his voice.
"Now now don't you see someone has just tried to kill me!" came the over dramatic response. Lestrade looked around at the scene and tried to piece together what had happened. From what he could gather Moriarty had been walking along the street when someone had shot at him and he had been dragged to the ground by an unknown assailant before being interrupted. The story seemed plausible to Lestrade but something just wasn't adding up.
Lestrade cleared the scene and took the evidence back to the yard for further inspection. He examined all items which had been recovered at the scene closely as well as the photographs taken by CSU. No shell casings had been found which bothered him and the CCTV had not shown anyone fleeing from the scene after the failed attempt.
"Donovan! Come here and have a look at this for me!" he shouted in frustration. Sally came in and refused point blank to help.
"He deserved it if it's true I'll bet freak had something to do with it!" she scoffed. However, on seeing the look on Lestrade's face she reconsidered and reviewed the evidence. After half an hour she had come to a similar conclusion to Lestrade.
"It appears Sir, that there has been no attempt on his life and in fact it is much more humorous than that." She managed before letting out a giggle. Several minutes later most of Scotland Yard were watching the CCTV and laughing at the total stupidity of what had happened.
Moriarty arrived at the Yard on the request of Lestrade and entered the building, hoping he would be rid of yet another problem. On the contrary he entered to find the Yard laughing and pointing as he walked to the control room. Lestrade set the tape up and filled him on the events of the morning.
"As you can see Jim the truth is slightly different to your version of events. It has become apparent that the gunshot you heard was in fact a car backfiring and as for the unknown assailant well that's another story altogether. As you can see when I zoom in here…on hearing the gunshot your foot lands on a discarded banana skin and you slip onto your back…" Lestrade barely managed to keep his face straight for the end of the explanation as he watched Moriarty's face drop in horror. He had been well and truly foolish and was now the laughing stock of the Yard and much worse they would show Sherlock and John. He would be unable to show his face in public for a very long time. He turned on the spot and exited the building slowly losing his composure. He was never going to live this down and it was all his own fault!
A/N: Thank you for reading Let's get some reviews flowing now to find out what else could happen Jim :P