all through the night
I'll be awake and I'll be with you
All through the night
This precious time when time is new
Oh, all through the night today
Knowing that we feel the same without saying
The same without saying
The first time she saw him after their escape Sansa was caught totally off guard. Someone had asked to see the Targaryen queen and Sansa could have easily decided not to go with her. She already had enough things to do. And she definitely did not wish to spend another minute in the presence of Her Royal Highness. But then again if she didn't greet the new guests who were about to stay in her home, what kind of Lady of the North would she be? So she clenched her jaw and forced her cold mask to stay a little longer on her face.
These kind of thoughts were running through her head while she followed Daenerys Targaryen. Sansa lifted her gaze as she came through the doors and almost halted. Was she dreaming this? Was this another one of her desperate twists of reality her mind loved to play late at night?
He was standing there, in the middle of the room, his eyes seeking hers. Gods, she swore her heart jumped as he took a tiny step towards her, as his gaze pierced her. Then he started talking and for a moment everything else faded away. All the sounds, all her thoughts and the wind howling outside, everything just disappeared, paving a path for his voice. She wasn't hearing his words, no. Just the timbre of his voice. It calmed her. It made her feel as if all of her broken pieces came back to her and made her whole again. It was strange and unbelievably crazy. It was all so surreal. Then his attention was on her again and her heart acted on its own again.
"I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa," he said, a different emotion to the ones she'd seen before was now written on his face. "if you'll have me."
Sansa pressed her lips tightly, afraid of the sounds that were threatening to come out, but her eyes were more honest than her mouth and her vision blurred.
This wasn't a dream. This was real. He was real.
Her feet moved on their own, her hands embraced him and the cold, perfectly held control she'd been proudly wearing day after day, cracked under the heavy raging waves in her soul. And as his own hands came around her, Sansa realized that she hadn't felt so safe in a long, long time.
Something had changed. He was different. It was not just in the way he freely expressed his opinion on all kinds of matters. It was how relaxed his shoulders were, how high he held his head. His footsteps were confident, his voice unwavering. But the biggest change was in his eyes. They were bright and calm and so much filled with life. He was different. And she was happy for him because this version, this man who stood alongside her family, alongside her, had finally found himself. This was Theon Greyjoy.
So really why was she so surprised by the fact that he volunteered to protect her little brother. It was all him. Just Theon being Theon, she realized. This act, it was bravery, and selflessness and atonement all in one. And everyone knew what it truly meant. How it would most probably end. The warm feeling inside her chest, which she associated with him, magnified even more, followed by the quiet murmur of the fear. She was tired of losing people dear to her. So, so tired.
They were all going to die anyway. All of them. Sansa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Being somehow content was a hard task, but not an impossible one.
After the meeting she went to him and asked if he was hungry. He nodded and they went outside. Both grabbed two bowls of soup and sat under the night sky. Their last night before all chaos spread its wings. Her thoughts took her through a quick walk in her life right from the beginning, when she was a young and innocent girl, to this day, to this moment. Here. With him. She may had regretted a lot of things but this evening, her last evening on the earth, was not one of them and would never be. It was something to be grateful for. He'd saved her. Or she'd saved him. Or they both had saved each other. It was still only half the truth of what had truly happened between them. Even Sansa wasn't quite aware of what this shift in their dynamic meant.
So she looked at him. He was sitting right in front of her, bathed in the warm reflection of the campfires. His face suddenly looked younger. His expression was open, his gaze soft, so lovingly soft.
This feeling, whatever it was, brought her peace, warmth, safety. Three words. Three things she never thought would be capable of experiencing again.
His gaze dropped down and she wanted to ask him if he could explain what he was feeling, what was happening, where were they going with this. She wanted to ask and she didn't want to, because deep down she had already understood everything. She knew.
Sansa relaxed her knee, moving her leg into a more comfortable position until it bumped into his right one. Nobody pulled away. They just ate the rest of their soup in silence, never breaking the touch. Just enjoying their company and wondering what would become of them if somehow, someway they both survived the coming battle.
After 8x02 I just have a lot of feelings... All I want from this series is for Theon and Sansa to have their happy ending, okay! That's all! I mean I want a happy ending for a couple of other characters too but Theonsa is the big otp! Pls pls pls pls don't kill Theon off in the next episode!