He was a thief.
That much he knew.
But as he stood with his finger hovering over the trigger, there was only one person on his mind and one person only…
Sophie.
He needed her but she couldn't save him. Not this time.
Nathan Ford had been robbed once again, and no job, drink or high could take its place.
"Don't do it boss…it's not who you are…"
Who he was didn't matter anymore.
Not without her.
Parker was being held back by Hardison, but only in fear of what she might do. And Nate swore she saw tears of hatred welling up in her eyes.
They seemed to mirror his own.
"You took away, the best thing in my life…" his words were laced with anger, angst and inconsolable rage.
And the team knew it wouldn't be long.
"Nate! You're not a killer…"
He snapped his head towards Elliot quickly and let the tears in his eyes speak for themselves before the shot rang out and the body slumped to the ground. Hardison closed his eyes while Parker managed a small smirk at the sound.
"I am now."
Nate handed the weapon to Elliot and took a long glance at the body before walking away. He entered out onto the street and seemed to wander for what seemed like hours but was only minutes. He turned at corners with no direction in mind, but with one purpose.
To drink himself into oblivion and never wake up.
Life without Sam had gone on because of her. So what sense did living make now?
He stumbled into the closest bar and with each shot he took down he savored the sensation in his throat. The one feeling he could always count on. He let it numb the pain but knew all too well how temporary it would be. Tomorrow he would wake up and his son would still be gone…and so would she.
He closed his eyes for a moment and remembered his final moments with her.
"Sophie, don't you do this…don't you leave me…"
She managed to place her hands at his face. "I'm…sorry."
"Help! Somebody! Help!" He screamed louder than he thought he was capable. "No, don't…Sophie, please…"
"So…much to say…" She was writhing in pain but could feel him pulling her in closer.
Nate was cradling her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Shhh, don't…" He looked down at the blood pouring through his hands and drew in a breath. "Don't go…I can't…I wont…not without you…I need, I need you…"
And it was then she said it.
"I loved you…"
He wasn't sure what pierced him more…the fact that she said it or that it was in the past tense. But either way, that's where it would always remain. And he knew as he polished off his final glass that no amount of liquor would ever numb the pain coursing through him…and she, just like his San was irreplaceable…