Can't Have You

I understand somewhere in the lowest recesses of my mind that I'm projecting my feelings into misdirected anger towards the stinkin' arrowhead, but I don't really care anymore.

Speedy, the "honorary" Titan whom I don't think should really be that honorary anymore, has asked Star on a date.

A date. Are you aware of the implications of said date? Because I don't think Starfire is.

Hand-holding is inevitable. Maybe he'll buy her a cheap bouquet of roses and a cliché box of chocolates, or maybe he'll go overboard and shoot heart-shaped arrows into the sky that'll explode into pink and red fireworks, as a profession of his undying love. They'll probably hug, more than once too, considering Starfire's penchant for restricting blood flow as a display of affection. And finally, at the very end of their date: the kiss. Undoubtedly a guy as sleazy as Speedy will try to get a kiss out of such an innocent person.

Starfire drops the bomb on us one movie night.

All conversation immediately halts and all eyes turn to Starfire. Raven is first to recover. "That's great," she says.

"Cool," Beast Boy adds.

Cyborg nods in agreement. "Good for you!"

I feel Star turn her brilliant green eyes on me, compelling me to say something. I tear my eyes off the TV screen, suddenly choked up and unable to form any coherent sentences in my mind. "That's great," I finally say, less inflection in my tone than Raven herself. "Speedy's a good guy." I secretly hope that Starfire doesn't buy my complete lie.

Starfire smiles brightly at me. "So my friends approve?" Fuck. She believes me.

I attempt a smile. "Of course!"

We continue the movie, but Beast Boy and Cyborg stop their commentary and Star remains strangely quiet too. I figured that she would ask me to explain all the cultural moments in the movie, but she doesn't.

I guess Speedy could answer all her questions about Earth now, I think childishly. I cross my arms and focus on the movie, trying to ignore the certain Tameranian girl sitting way too close to me for having a date coming up.

Arrow-shooting bastard.

Its breakfast when Starfire mentions to Raven where Speedy's planning to take her on a date. I wonder how she and Speedy are in contact until I remember that he's an honorary Titan, and I regret ever handing him his own Titan communicator.

"…and then, we will be watching a movie while enjoying the popcorn and the sodas. Tell me, Raven, how-"

I drop my mug of coffee. It smashes on the kitchen floor, brown liquid spreading around the linoleum and into my boots.

"Sorry," I mutter, going red. "My hand slipped; I'll clean it up now."

Starfire resumes her detailed conversation about her date with Raven. Cyborg and Beast Boy return to their videogames. Everyone is acting as normally as it gets around here, except me.

See, I'm not a touchy-feely kind of guy. I can't analyze my feelings and process my thoughts all too well, nor do I ever want to do so willingly. I'm strategic; I plan everything out. I can't flirt. At least, not like Beast Boy, who shamelessly throws himself at girls and easily picks himself up when they reject him.

Who said the hero always gets the girl? Because here I am, contradicting that statement in every way possible. Maybe badassery wins a few points, but only if you can keep the confidence going outside of battles. So basically, I've got no chance of anything happening ever, especially with Speedy in the picture.

"Can I speak to you, friend Robin?" Starfire's eyes are pleading.

I get up from my desk, rubbing my eyes wearily. "What time is it?" I stretch my arms up, hearing my back crack lightly.

"It is 9 o'clock, Robin. We are awaiting for you to join for dinner, but I have something to ask. Can I?"

I clear my throat. "Um, yeah, Star. What is it?"

She doesn't say anything at first, just picks up a spare birdarang from my desk and toys with it. "You are not experiencing the happiness for me," she says finally.

"What? No, I am, of course I'm happy for you, it's just-"

"You do not like Speedy?"

"Well... I just don't want you to get hurt."

She nods, looking down. "Should I not go tomorrow?"

I blanch. "What?" Why is she asking me, of all people? I think. Yes. Don't go. Dump his sorry ass and leave him- "No, Star. You should go. Unless you truly don't want to," I add.

She has nothing left to say, and I can't think of anything else to say, so we stand in awkward silence for a while, unable to look at each other. Suddenly, Cyborg and Beast Boy's voices echo through the halls and we jump simultaneously

"I, um… I'm gonna go... eat dinner now. Nice talk, bye!" I say hastily before running off into the direction of the voices. Real smooth, Robin, I berate myself. Running from your problems will definitely solve them.

So... First Teen Titan fic. First RobStar fic, actually. Any questions? Comments? Complaints?