Wash The World Away
Timothy McGee sat like a fixture at his desk, not long after hearing the news. He was finding it hard to breathe, let alone speak to anyone. Tony had ran off in search of Gibbs after hearing of it and he was left with nothing to do except absorb it. So he did. Breathing in and out…blinking his eye lids and any other automatic thing the body did to stay alive, even if it felt like his heart was no longer beating…
"McGee…" Gibbs voice shook him to the core. He looked up to see it was him, but his voice was different.
He didn't respond.
Gibbs nodded towards Tony as if pawning the consoling onto him.
"Probie…"
McGee made eye contact with him and the tears came in an instant.
Tony knelt down on one knee and wrapped a hand around the back of his partner's neck, gently embracing him. "It's okay…"
Tim shook his head back and forth, against Tony's shoulder. "I…can't…breathe…"
Tony leaned him upright. "Easy McGee."
He slowly moved away and stood up, unsure of his next move. Gibbs was quick to approach him.
McGee took a moment to look deep into his eyes. "Why?"
Gibbs swallowed hard. "I don't have an answer to that."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know."
Tim started to move away from both of them, and found himself up against the far wall. His breathing was more rapid than he realized.
"Probie…you gotta breathe man…"
McGee tried, a concerned group of co workers now starting to form.
Tony took a step towards him when Gibbs gestured that he move away.
"Time to go Tim."
He shook his head, and swore the room was starting to spin.
Gibbs recognized the signs and reached a hand out to steady him. McGee looked into his eyes a second time. "Why aren't you crying boss?"
"Fresh out of tears."
Tim's lip quivered violently. "I don't know how to do this…"
Gibbs understood. "No one does."
A few moments passed before McGee found his footing and walked beside his friends. It was months before Tim functioned in any state of normalcy.
"Buy you a drink Probie?"
McGee shook his head. "Uh, no thanks Tony. I'm gonna try and write again tonight."
"Still fighting that writers block eh?"
"Something like that.
McGregor did everything he could to put her out of his mind, but nothing helped. Nothing.
Any free moment of thought was focused on her and his own regret would soon over take him. He loved her, that was no secret, but none of that mattered now. She was robbed away and no matter how unfair it was, nothing would change that. So he went on, hour by hour and day by day, hoping that the love he had for her would be enough to pull him through.
And with time, it was.
McGee settled into bed, Jethro close to his side and whispered quietly to no one.
"Night Abs…"