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The End of the Beginning by Thalia
I.
The child had barely let out its first shrill cry when it was washed, dried, swaddled in a soft blanket and thrust into the arms of the young Jedi. Obi-Wan looked down at the flailing child in his arms and found himself, for the first time, not knowing how to react. He had been trained for diplomacy, trained for battle, but the events of the last few months hadn't been anything his training could help him through. He had had to rely solely on the Force, and now the Force was telling him that this child was more important to the survival of the Jedi than anything else. Of course the Jedi Council - what still remained of it - had foreseen that, but the sweet sense of the Force that radiated from the child, now solidified all the predictions.
Obi-Wan tightened his arms around the child, holding him closer to his chest and wrapping him in the protective folds of his heavy cloak. The child's cries had ceased and he lay perfectly still in the Jedi's arms, as if he too knew of his own importance and the tenuous state of his survival.
He had glassy blue eyes and damp wisps of golden hair across his brow. Obi-Wan was reminded of the angelic looking boy that he had first met on the desert sands of Tatooine. The child that had been heralded as the Chosen One, the balance-bringer, the savior of the Jedi. The child that had grown up at his side, learned from him, gained his respect... and then turned on him. Obi-Wan still found it hard to believe that Anakin Skywalker, the man of black who called himself Vader, Lord of the Sith, had once been that same innocent child. Obi-Wan had always been told that the seeds of evil could lie even under pure and bounteous soil, but he never truly believed it until his own apprentice blossomed into the fiend that called itself Vader.
He had to remind himself fiercely that Vader was not Anakin. Perhaps he was physically, in what remained of his ravaged body, but his mind was different entirely. The purity and honor of Anakin's spirit had been distorted by the warped mirrors of the Dark Side. There was nothing left of Anakin in Vader's mind Obi-Wan had to tell himself. No vestige of his friend and apprentice lay inside the man-machine of darkness, only the treacherous Palpatine's sordid creation. Anakin was dead, but Vader lived, and it was Vader that he must keep this child from. In a small way Anakin had left a piece of himself behind though, now cradled in Obi-Wan's arms. Anakin's light shone through his son, brilliant and warm, but even this fair child could be brought to darkness by the wrong hands. It had happened before. This time Obi-Wan was determined to prevent it.
The young queen lay on the bed nearby, her face glazed with sweat and the tangled tresses of her dark hair spread over the pillows. Obi-Wan looked down into her tired, frightened eyes and tried to give her a reassuring smile. He hoped it would give her some small bit of hope and courage, but had a feeling it only looked pained. She was a strong woman, incredibly so. Her face was pale and lined, not only from the ordeal of bearing her child, but from months of pain and fear and brokenhearted loneliness. Despite it all though, her deep brown eyes still glowed with courage and determination. She was still beautiful as she had always been, but now her soft elegance had turned to the flinty grace born of trial and suffering. Though he was a Jedi, full of courage and strength, Obi-Wan had felt his own will was straining under the ordeals they were passing through. He looked with great admiration on this woman who fought the rising tide of defeat so valiantly without even the aid of the Force to guide her. Of course he had been there for her through the heartbreak of Anakin's turning and the confusion of life turned on its head, but even he could only do so much to comfort and protect her from the pain. Her survival had been her victory alone and the fruits of her perseverance were cradled in Obi-Wan's arms.
The Jedi approached the Queen's bed and kneeling, showed Amidala the face of her child, still wrinkled and red, squinch-eyed, but utterly innocent. A smile graced her lips and she touched the child's face with the tender, tentative fingers of a mother.
"Beautiful boy," she whispered to the child. She gazed on him with proud sorrowful eyes and stroked his cheeks for many long moments until Obi-Wan was forced to speak.
"It's time for me to go Amidala. It's dangerous to stay any longer." Obi-Wan's words were urgent, but the tone he used was soft. He could not begin to imagine the pain of having a child taken away before even having the chance to begin loving it as a person, instead of just a slight whispering inside.
Amidala nodded mutely and said, "Where will you take him Obi-Wan?"
"I can't tell anyone, not even you, but it will be somewhere safe... I promise." Obi-Wan took her cold hand in his as if making a vow and his next words were said somewhat pointedly. If the Council had forbidden him to reveal the name of the hiding place, he would at least take it upon himself to give Amidala a small reassuring hint. It was the least he could do for the mother whose child was being snatched away into oblivion. "I am taking him back to where this all began. Anakin will never think to look for him there. There are too many ghosts for him... enough even to protect the child. And he will be in good hands."
"I don't worry about his safety, Obi-Wan. With you watching over him, I feel almost as confident as if he were in my own arms." Amidala said bravely.
Obi-Wan smiled bleakly. He appreciated her undying trust, but he wasn't as sure of himself as she was. He had done many difficult things in his life, but with the Jedi dying around him and a new order of Sith rising from their remains, he knew this would be a trial more difficult than any before. It would be harder than it had been fighting the ferocious Darth on Naboo, more painful than the death of his Master or the loss of his Padawan, more draining than watching Amidala suffer a heart break that he could not begin to ease. Keeping this child safe until he could rise to restore balance to the Force, as Master Yoda foresaw, would be one of his longest and most demanding missions. He would, no doubt meet his fate in the process, but it was something he was proud, almost glad, to do. Obi-Wan was now one of the last remaining Jedi and he would pass his legacy on to Anakin Skywalker's son. He often felt as though he had failed Anakin in some way by not protecting him from the Dark Side, but by bringing this child to the power of Light he would gain a victory for the Jedi and maybe, in a small way, redeem his fault to Anakin.
Obi-Wan began to pull back. Time was slipping away and the urgency of his mission practically howled in his mind. Amidala gripped his arm however and kept him kneeling at her side. "Call him Luke," she said in an almost pleading tone. "It's a strong name."
Obi Wan nodded, "And the Force is very strong with him. There are many trials that lie in Luke's path, but he will grow to be a great man." Obi-Wan frowned deeply, "He is our last hope, and he will save us all."
A tear ran down Amidala's face and she leaned forward to kiss her child. "I love you," she whispered to him, "I will always love you, no matter what becomes of either of us."
When she looked up again, her face was streaming with tears and she put a hand to Obi-Wan's face. He leaned down to her slightly and she kissed him fiercely on the forehead. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan," she said. Her eyes practically flashed fire behind the tears and her look struck him to the heart.
He squeezed her hand once more, tightly, as if he could channel the strength of the Force to her through their tenuous grasp. "And it will be with you Amidala. Always."
Finally getting to his feet and walking away from Amidala was like cutting out his own heart. It echoed the pain of Qui-Gon's death and Anakin's loss. It was the pain of loosing someone forever, for he had the feeling he would never see her again. It was an awful, nauseating hurt, but it was familiar. Not dully familiar, but like an old wound brutally ripped open again, with the sharp twinge of scarred nerves freshly revealed.
As he made his way to the door the Jedi's heavy footsteps clapped emptily against the floor. Obi-Wan hugged the child closer to him, letting the Force wind around them both, binding their destinies together. Luke felt small and fragile next to his chest but the potential lying in him was more than evident to Obi-Wan's perception. The answer to all their troubles lay bundled in his cloak, now it was only a matter of protecting him and nourishing his spirit until he could grow into the Jedi he was meant to be. Only a matter of evading evil long enough for light to prevail.
Amidala's heavy sobs filled the room and Obi-Wan walked away from their wrenching sounds. He wanted to turn back, offer her comfort, offer her answers, offer her anything that might sooth her heart. He wanted to put Luke into her embrace and see her smile again. It took every ounce of will he had not to look back. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to focus on the child. Luke was the future. Though his heart begged him to, he could not afford to look back at Amidala. Before the heavy carved wooden door boomed shut behind Obi-Wan, one final sob reached his ears. Stronger and more wrenching that the rest, he heard only the pain and anger of heartbreak behind it. He shut his mind against it's pleading and walked away, never realizing the true cause of Amidala's cry.
Luke was not the only hope for the survival of the Jedi.
II.
Amidala knelt on the marble floor, the folds of her simple red gown pooling about her. Brilliant sunshine fell through the windows onto the columns and statues of the palace where she had once been Queen. Not too long ago really, only a month since the Empire had moved in on Naboo and imposed its own rule on her people, her planet. Amidala remembered a time she would have fought the take-over with stubborn ferocity. She had saved Naboo once from this fate, when she had had the power of the Jedi behind her and her own tenacity to make it possible. She would have done it again too; only now, it didn't seem worth it.
Amidala shuddered at the thought that she had practically given Naboo away to the Empire. When she had seen the Imperial Grand Admiral's face on the hologram and heard his demands for their surrender, her will had buckled. In that moment of weakness, all drive for resistance had fled her heart and she couldn't think of one reason to fight for freedom. Up until then she had lost the man she loved, lost her child and her friends; everything but her kingdom, and then some morbid voice in her head urged her to throw that in as well and make the defeat entire.
She was not a queen any longer. She would never again wear the robes, the makeup, the crest that marked her as Naboo royalty. She was only a woman now, with the bearing of a queen, and that too was slowly crumbling. Amidala tightened her embrace around the child that sat in her lap and looked up at the vaulted ceilings soaring over her head. Though chaos raged across the face of Naboo, Theed was a protected city. It had been left unharmed and the palace unscathed, perhaps as a reward for peaceful surrender. Perhaps because the Empire recognized her past and her connection to its own power.
But Amidala refused to accept that token of pity from the Empire. She would not allow Palpatine or Vader (the two men whose names brought bile to her throat thinking of her once trusting loyalty to them) to coddle her in such a way. She cursed her own weaknesses, but she would not have them put on display and publicly cosseted. Anakin... not Anakin, Vader, had defeated her heart, she would not let him defeat her pride. That is why she was surrendering Theed come the next sunrise. She felt for the people she was leaving to the Empire's wrath, but the sacrifice had to be made. A small victory of principal could be had robbing Palpatine of her sympathies. Even if she gave up this last grip on her kingdom, she would retreat and make her last stand for her own heart. They could have it all, but she would keep herself.
The child, who had been sitting quietly thus far, twisted around to follow her mother's gaze to the vaults. She was very young, dependent, innocent, but amazingly perceptive for a child her age. Her brown hair had only just begun to wisp into curls and her intent eyes were large and warmly brown like her mother's. Amidala looked down into her child's face and immediately felt the sting of tears that she had been fighting since the day the child was born. She was able to fight them back once more, but she knew that eventually they would have to flow, and soon. "It's alright Leia," she soothed, so much for her own sake as well the child's. "Everything will be fine my darling."
Though the child was seemingly young to understand the situation, her cherubic face deepened as if she felt her mother's distress. Amidala wondered if it might not be true. Leia had always seemed quick and bright. Her father had been a great Jedi, her twin brother was strong with the Force, Obi-Wan had said so. Perhaps Leia too was possessed by that greater power. Amidala choked back a sob and kissed her daughter's forehead. She prayed that the Force be gentle with her children, the one still in her lap as well as the one worlds away, who were embodied with that great power which could ruin as easily as it could bless.
A soft scuffing sound echoed through the silent hall and Leia turned away from her mother to stare at the diminutive creature shuffling toward them down the long corridor. His cane made a small clicking on the tiles, leading his shuffling feet forward, and his long ears twitched in rhythm with his movements.
"Master Yoda," Amidala solemnly greeted him, bowing forward in respect. Though she had never met the Jedi herself, she knew of his esteemed position and had heard Anakin speak respectfully of him many times during his training.
"Greetings Queen Amidala," Yoda said, nodding to her in turn and gazing at her with large limpid eyes that seemed to see deeper than her face.
The gesture made her blush slightly. "Not a queen any longer I'm afraid. 'Amidala' is enough."
"Hm," Yoda rasped, "Some a Jedi Master would call me not, because dead my fellow Jedi are. Yet 'Master Yoda' am I." He paused and inched slightly closer, the better to look into her eyes. "Though gone your kingdom may be, a queen you still are. A queen always will you be." Amidala felt herself relax a little. Master Yoda's direct manner was disarming and even she could feel the aura of the Force surrounding him like a cloak. Her heart and her trust seemed to instinctually open to this odd little creature, as it hadn't to anyone since Obi-Wan had left her side.
"I am surrendering Theed tomorrow, Master Yoda. It's all I can think to do. Naboo holds nothing for me now, especially in the grip of the Empire. It feels so wrong to give up like this, but-"
Yoda interrupted her with a small grunt, "Sometimes a step back must we take. Feel wrong it may, but a defeat it is not. Retreat often wins a battle." Yoda nodded to himself, "Clearer the mountain is when standing on the plain, than to the climber, though touches its very rocks he does. Give way for the moment, then a new opening will you find to thrust your saber into." Amidala almost smiled at the lilting enigmatic words, but her ease was upset by Leia's wiggling in her lap. The child was thoroughly intrigued by the hunched Jedi in front of her and she strained forward, clutching for the glittering saber that hung at Yoda's belt.
Yoda studied the child as if noticing her for the first time, which was undoubtedly not the case. "The second Skywalker twin this is," he said, his quiet tone holding a note of reverence.
Amidala nodded, "Her name is Leia."
"Hm. Strong she is with the Force." Yoda nodded, "Less obvious than her brother, but strong yet. Dangerous it is for her here. Protected her well you have."
"She's all I have left, I'd protect her with my life." Amidala stated plainly.
"Of course," Yoda agreed. "Greater the danger will be though, now that you leave Naboo. And with age will Leia's strength in the Force grow. More obvious will she become... more vulnerable to the Dark Side."
Amidala shivered at the thought. "You want to take her away," she guessed, hoping for and dreading the answer at the same time. Though the horror of giving up her child was gripping, more than anything, she feared her own inability to protect her against the Dark Side should that time come. "I admit I always wondered why Obi-Wan never took her away as well. Though I am not sorry he didn't." Yoda nodded, "Know of a second child Obi-Wan does not. Too focused was he on the first twin, too distracted by his own feelings, though I blame him not. Sensed her presence in the Force I did upon her birth, but by then too late to bring Obi-Wan back. Safe she has been up to now, though on treacherous ground. But the Dark Side is afoot. Safe she is no longer."
Amidala frowned but nodded in understanding. She felt a certain familiar ache wash over her. This whole horrible thing had happened before and was happening again. The mood was calmer now, her own mind less tumultuous, but the pain was the same. She didn't expect it to be otherwise, and she didn't expect it to ever go away. The slow twisting and tearing at her heart would persist no matter where she went or how long she waited for it to recede. It would simply be there, forever tormenting her, as long as her children were away from her.
"Where will you hide her?" Amidala asked through the obscuring landslide of sorrow that was burying her heart inch by inch.
"A beautiful place it is," Yoda told her, mollifying her desire to know, though he could not in truth tell her. "With a kind family will she live, who will love her as their own." He twitched one ear and smiled lazily, "A princess will she be, just as her mother is a queen." Amidala pressed her face into her daughter's hair and said, "Then this is what I must do."
Yoda nodded again. "Best it is for the child. Safer for both of you."
Kneeling before the wise Jedi, Amidala's mind slowly broke from its wavering flood of sadness with a steady determination. There was no choice here she realized, only a test of her strength. Leia must be taken away and she must find away to conquer the heartbreak or die. She drew in a deep breath and recalled the courage that had helped her so many times before. She gathered it about her heart and clung to it fiercely. She may not be strong with the Force as her children were, but she was strong of spirit, and with that she knew she could survive.
With only the single tear that she would allow to slip down her cheek, Amidala placed her daughter at Yoda's feet. She looked into Leia's eyes once more and kissed her tenderly.
"Remember me my darling." She whispered as Leia brushed her cheek with her small hand.
Amidala rose to her feet and turned away from Yoda without a word. As she walked away down the gleaming hall she denied every urge to turn back. She set her gaze in front of her, allowing not even one look back at the daughter she would never see again. Only then did the tears run thick.