Thinking, ah what an underrated concept in such a stylized society. I sit here in my little chair and watch fools go in and out of everyday life, bumbling and tripping on every little crack and fissure that comes their way. Do they not see the problem in front of them, why not, perhaps, step over it? Yes, what a novel idea. To avoid a problem, let someone else fill in the crack. Why should it bother me?
I gaze at the screens around me and watch Yuuichiro Hikari work. The man is so brilliant yet so impressively naïve, just like his son. The man didn't even know I installed a silent camera into his office for the brief time they thought I was a comrade and didn't even suspect I had hidden one after I was discovered. Comrade indeed, how quaint to think of such things.
I yawn and look at the small digital clock in the corner of my monitor. It reads 4:23 in the morning. I smirk and recline in my chair. I do my best thinking in the morning or at night anyways. Just thinking alone helps me to relax, something sleep has never done me.
Not all problems are black and white, yet somehow to the child known as Netto Hikari he makes them seem that way. Black and white, good an evil, light and dark. No shades of grey seem to exist in the child's mind, yet I know they're there, somewhere. He and his navi proclaim to be best friends yet one does not live, or eat or do anything a human can do. His programming simply commands him to function, and somehow he is thought of as a sentient being by a 12 year old child who has saved the world more then most anime cartoons show. Amazing, simply amazing.
But, regardless of the perspective of that of a 12 year old, there is no such thing as black and white. Even to the most idealistic mind there exists doubt, pain and darkness. All I do is take such things and manipulate them to my interest. I do not hurt or corrupt people, society has already done it for them. Navi's who are used and hurt then can't deal with the emotion over drive in their programs, people who just have no will to go on. Such things wouldn't, shouldn't exist in the idealistic world of black and white. Yet somehow they do.
Am I a bad man? I do not know. Am I evil? No more or less then you are. You see dear people; we all have our doubts, and pain and selfish desires. Who am I to say I do not have such human emotions? And who are you to deny them? We all share the common ground of anger, ambition, selfishness and the need for power; I just know how to gain such things. Then I am looked down on because I obtain what everyone else wants. Well, fine with me, because I know what I want. Think about what your wants are.
See, you know I'm right. I can tell, you're thinking 'of course I feel that way, I'm human.' But, what is humanity if people feel that way but continue to deny the truth of such feelings unless it's in their own minds. So, am I evil just because I embraced my ideals instead of denying them? I think not.
And the one thing that continues to trouble me, and eat at my thoughts is the fact that out there is a 12 year old who can deny everything I just said and believe with all his heart that he is right. What a problematic thing.
And so, I sit here thinking, desperately trying to figure out how someone can think that way. However, it is only one person. And you, I'm certain have just gone through a wonderful journey of self doubt.
The brighter the light, the darker the shadows that are cast. Such is a law that means no light or dark can ever be destroyed, just concentrated. And that is exactly what I plan to do.