This story is based off of the song Bluebird by Christina Perri. Anything that looks familiar is Christina Perri's work. All the rest is mine. Hope you enjoy!
"Brooke, you know, I think that new girl is trying to go out with Todd," Mikaela tells me.
"Yeah, I know. And Todd and I never dated. She can have him for all I care." I say, not looking her in the eye, but continuing to spoon mashed potatoes onto my
plate. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her pursing her lips, and giving me a knowing look.
It's true though, Todd and I never dated. We are more like, friends with benefits. And we've had our on and off flings. And we happen to be each others back up
date, when our original plans fall through. But whenever I try to explain this to Mikaela, she just rolls her eyes and mutters something about Todd wanting more.
I'm not sure she quite understands Todd and my "relationship."
"Well, I wouldn't be surprised if she were to come talk to you about him. She seems very friendly, and the type of girl who goes for what she wants." I grunt in
response.
"Sure she will," I say, sarcasm dripping from my voice. "Nobody goes up to someones ex." Oops, I let that one slip. And okay, maybe I did have feelings for him. But
I had to stop that immediately. I'm not that strong, strong enough to handle having my heart broken.
It confuses me, how some people can mend their hearts, hearts that have been broken in half, and teach itself to start beating.
Mikaela gives me that look again, but doesn't say anything. I knew Todd and I were never going anywhere. It just wasn't going to happen.
We sit down, in our usual seats, and I suddenly don't feel hungry anymore. I push my food around.
I can see the new girl, just across the cafeteria, feeling some guy's biceps. It's a wonder she's into Todd. She seems to be into the football players. Todd plays
soccer, and I love to see her reach down to feel his thighs, or calves.
"What's her name?" I ask Mikaela, now watching her laugh at something the football player said. It was probably something unintelligent.
"I think it's Ashley, or Alexia, or something like that," she says, biting into her hamburger.
"That makes sense. She has blonde hair, and looks popular."
"You just don't like her because she is interested in Todd."
"I don't care. Todd and I aren't even friends anymore. She can have him."
✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻
The new girl found me after school.
"Hey, I hear you dated Todd." she says, not even introducing herself.
"Nope," I say, continuing to my car.
"Oh really? Because from everyone I've heard from, you two dated for a while, and recently broke up. I heard it was a pretty bad break up." she says, still following
me.
"Yeah, well, why do you care?" I shoot back. This is pretty painful.
"I wanted to know if it was alright if I could go out with him," she says, and her voice sounds farther away. I stop, partly because I can tell she is struggling to keep
up, but also what she said surprised me.
"You know, you don't owe me anything. It's not girl code, if we aren't friends," I say, turning around to look at her.
"Yeah, I know. I think he might be the real deal."
I shake my head, unsure of what to say, unsure of my feelings. So I unlock my car, get in, and drive away. By the time I can't see her in my rearview mirror, tears
are flowing down my face. I didn't realize it would be this hard. So I wipe my face off, and pull my phone out of my pocket. I go into my contacts and call my one
reassurance.
"Hello?" Todd picks up.
"Are you alone now?" I ask him.
"Yes." he doesn't need any other explanations.
"I'll be there in ten."
✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻
"You know, I'm surprised you called," he says through heavy breathing.
"Just shut up and kiss me," I tell him, fumbling for my bra strap.
"Here, let me," he says, and snaps it off. It's gone now, somewhere with my shirt, and his shirt and pants.
✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻
"We need to talk," he says, rolling off of me, still out of breath.
"What's there to talk about?" I ask him, really wanting to avoid this conversation.
"This. Us."
"Right, you want to talk after you sleep with me? Not before? Because we both know how bad you wanted it." To avoid looking at him, I scramble for my clothes. I
mange to gather them all.
"Jesus, Brooke, you know that's not true. This is hard for me too."
"What, you think this is difficult for me? I'm fine." I'm still looking for my bra, and see it is right next to him.
"You know, I can't do this anymore. We are either dating, or we aren't."
"Oh Todd, don't be such a girl." I say, reaching over him, to grab my bra.
"You know what, you're not emotionally available. In fact, you might not ever be." he says, looking me directly in the eyes. I flit my eyes towards the alarm clock
on his bedside table.
"Oh, look at the time. I have to go." I say, pulling my shirt on, and heading towards the door.
"Brooke, stop. We need to talk," he says, grabbing my wrist. I try to pull away, but his grip is too strong.
"What?! What do you want from me? Do you want me to break down crying, coming to you for help? Do you want me to be overly sensitive? Because one of us
has to be the man in this relationship."
He looks at me with hurt etched on his face. I feel his hand slack, and I quickly pull it away, and go to the door.
"I'll see you around. Or maybe not," I say, closing the door behind me.
✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻
Again, I am in my car, and I feel like I am on the verge of a break down, exactly what I told Todd I can't do. Why does this hurt so much? It never did before. Until I
had to end this going farther. Or maybe I have been lying to myself. Maybe I didn't end things with Todd, maybe he ended things with me.
✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻
The next morning, she finds me at my locker.
"What?" I ask, slamming my locker closed, and looking at her.
"I came to check on you."
"Like hell you did. Just go out with him. I haven't seen him in a while, it's fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. This is clearly something you want."
"You know, if she goes out with him, you can't hook up with him anymore," Mikaela tells me later.
"Yeah, I know."
"No more calling him out of the blue."
"Yeah, I get it."
"No more asking if he's by himself."
"Yeah, I know."
"No more quickies in the empty classroom."
"Yes! I get it!" I say loudly, at least loudly enough for people to look at us. "Todd ended things officially," I finally tell her.
"When?" she asks.
"Last night, after school." I tell her, begrudgingly.
"Oh no. I told you she was going to talk to you! Didn't I warn you!"
"You did," I mumble.
✻ ✻ ✻ ✻ ✻
I waited a few days, hoping Todd would have forgotten about that night. And I hadn't seen her in a while.
After school, I decide to go to Todd's house. I know he's home alone, as he is most days after school.
As I pull up in the drive way, I can see another car. Maybe his mother is home. Or maybe his little brother finally got a car.
I knock on the door, and wait for a few minutes. I can hear two people talking inside, and finally Todd opens the door. He looks surprised to see me. Behind him is
her.