Almost everything in the old warehouse was some shade of gray. Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby, an old janitor named Gus, and a police officer named Sergeant Wilson stood gathered around a person in a giant parrot costume. Mystery Inc. was about to unmask another semi-dangerous criminal. It would be false to say that there was a sense of excitement in the air but there was at least a sense that a series of events was about to reach its conclusion and everything was about to be neatly wrapped up in a nice, tidy package.
"Okay, folks," Fred said smugly,"the parrot ghost is really..." He then paused dramatically as he reached over to pull the parrot head mask off the culprit's face. When he did so, it was the elderly face of Gus the Janitor that stared back at him from the top of the parrot costume.
"Yes," Fred continued,"yes, Gus was the parrot ghost all along. Apparently, he couldn't handle the fact that he lost his job when the old box factory closed down and he wanted to prevent the new Glomco corporate headquarters from being built here out of spite."
"I'm right here, you moron," Gus said angrily,"that obviously isn't me in that costume over there."
"Hmm," Fred said as he looked around in confusion,"then you must not really be Gus the janitor. " Fred then reached over to pull the mask off Gus the janitor. When he did so, it was Velma's face that looked out at him from above Gus the janitor's body. The look of confusion on Fred's face intensified. Fred reached over to pull the mask off of Velma's face and it was the face of Sergeant Wilson that looked out from above Velma's body. Before long, the face showing above the bodies of everyone in the room didn't match the body that it was attached to.
"Jinkies," Velma's face said from up above Shaggy's body,"we can't all be lying about who we are. Ok, everybody, let's all get in a circle and everyone pull the mask off the face of the person to their left." Everyone in the room quickly gathered around in a big circle and did just as Velma had suggested. Suddenly, the face of everyone in the room was Fred's face and the bodies of everyone in the room also somehow all turned into Fred's.
"What?," they all asked in unison,"we, umm, aren't all Fred. Obviously not. So, umm, everyone pull off the mask of the person to your right." Each of the Fred's in the circle reached over and pulled off the mask of the Fred to their right. What was left underneath each of their masks were white, featureless blobs that were still roughly the shape of a human head but were completely blank and devoid of features or markings of any kind. Each of the faceless beings with Fred's body began to wander around the room. They strode around confidently and gestured as though they were discussing matters of grave importance with each other but the only sound that issued forth from each being was an endless stream of unintelligible nonsense. After a few minutes, a buzzer sounded and each of the beings walked back to their original places in the circle. The lights then suddenly shut off entirely.
A moment later, most of the light returned but the scene appeared to have shifted to a giant red and white striped circus tent. Each of the hundreds of spectators in the crowd was Daphne. Scooby Doo stood on his hind legs down on a small platform in the performance area. He wore a black top hat, red bow tie, and black cape. Underneath his big black nose sat a large handlebar mustache. A spotlight shone down on him from up above. Most of the performance area was still hidden in shadows. Each duplicate of Daphne that sat in the audience munched on refreshments and chatted quietly with other duplicates of Daphne in the audience. As Scooby Doo picked up his microphone and seemed to be about to speak, the crowd in the audience of which every member was Daphne quieted down as though to better listen to what he had to say.
"Salutations and Felicitations," Scooby said in a with perfect enunciation in a strange, cultured voice that was completely different from his own,"welcome to tonight's show. I feel I must warn you, however, that the entertainment on the agenda for this evening is not for the faint of heart. What you are about to see may shock you. That is because tonight we are going to be taking a journey deep into the darkest hidden corners of Fred Jones' soul." Slightly more than half the crowd applauded politely in anticipation of the spectacle which was about to unfold.
A spotlight turned in suddenly came on and shone with an almost blinding intensity on what was inside the giant ring to Scooby's immediate left. A blackboard had been set up in the center of the ring and several desks had been placed in front of it. Velma stood before the blackboard wearing her usual outfit and holding a piece of chalk. In the only one of the desks that was occupied, a chimpanzee dressed in Fred's clothes sat grooming himself.
"In the first portion of tonight's entertainment," Scooby began dramatically," we will attempt to answer an age old question. To paraphrase the old cliche, is it possible to teach an old chimp new tricks? An old, arrogant, and ignorant chimp, that is." An unseen orchestra started playing lighthearted music and many in the audience began to chuckle.
"Now please try and pay attention as I begin today's lesson," Velma said wearily. She then slowly and carefully wrote "2+2?" on the blackboard.
"Can you tell me the answer?," Velma said softly in a way that seemed to suggest very strongly that she found it difficult to believe that she would soon be hearing the correct response to the problem. The chimpanzee began grooming himself.
"I don't need to know this garbage," the chimpanzee dressed as Fred shouted at Velma a moment later. The voice in which the chimpanzee spoke was harsh and guttural. It also seemed to be almost completely devoid of anything that resembled human intelligence.
"This is important," Velma patiently replied,"so please try and pay attention." The crowd alternated between moaning as though shocked at the chimpanzees behavior and chuckling.
"Shut up!!! This is so lame," the chimpanzee shouted as it began to jump up and down in its seat,"I'm the leader!!! I only need to know about leading!!!! This learning stuff is for nerds like you!!!"
"Easy now," Velma said in a voice that sounded both frightened and disgusted as she backed away from the chimpanzee,"there's no need to throw a tantrum. If that's how you feel, we can end this lesson now and give you your prize for completing the lesson early." Velma reached into a bag which was on the floor near the blackboard and pulled out a large dunce cap. As she placed it on the chimpanzees head, the lights went out and the entire audience applauded.
Somewhere in the shadows, the orchestra began playing dramatic music as the spotlight on Scooby was turned back on. Scooby took off his top hat and bowed theatrically as the audience continued applauding. It seemed the cape that Scooby wore was waving slightly in a breeze from somewhere.
"Thank you," Scooby said as he put his top hat back on and the applause seemed to die down,"thank you. Our next act is even more spectacular. You see, our next act is somewhat different in tone. Get ready, ladies(and umm, other ladies), because this will leave you breathless. Get ready for a look into...the future" The audience erupted in applause and sighed with expectation.
"That's right," Scooby continued,"that's right. We will next look into the future of an old friend of yours and mine, Norville Rogers. You may also know him as "Shaggy". Next tonight we will get a glimpse into his unfortunate demise. In only a few short years, Shaggy will embark upon what will prove to be his final mission. It will all start out simply enough. Mystery, Inc. will be on the trail of another strange criminal. As usual, Fred will wish to spend time with the female members of Mystery, Inc. instead of doing real work. Actually, it is only one of the female members of Mystery, Inc. that Fred will wish to spend time with. Fred never really loved Daphne but nonetheless always wanted her for himself because she is the most popular girl he personally knows and it would thus make him the envy of everyone if he were to actually end up with her. Of course, as part of his continuing efforts to make this happen, Fred will once again decide to send Shaggy and myself to face the real danger. In his own inimitable style, Fred will even attempt to portray Shaggy and myself as the real cowards while doing so. This time, however, the odds of this particular struggle shall sadly prove to be too much for poor Shaggy.
"And now," Scooby said dramatically as he gestured to his right,"without any further ado, I give you the death of Shaggy." The spotlight went off on Scooby and shone on the ring to Scooby's right. Shaggy stood inside the ring. His hair was slightly grayer; he appeared to put a few more pounds on his almost skeletal frame; and there was the beginning of a few wrinkles on his face. However, it was still unmistakably Shaggy. His clothing was torn in numerous places and there were bruises all over his body. It looked like several of his teeth had been knocked out. Most importantly, a large arrow protruded from his chest.
"Whoa," Shaggy whispered as he stumbled about and attempted vainly to pull the arrow out of his chest,"it looks like I'm a goner, man." He fell to the ground after a few minutes later and then died. The light over the ring on the right then went out and the spotlight over Scooby doo then went back on.
"That was something," Scooby said,"wasn't it? Yes, yes. And now we reach the grand finale of our sordid little program. The next portion of the show is the most horrifying of all by far. We will next take a look at Fred Jones himself." The light over Scooby went out and the spotlight went on over the ring behind Scooby.
Fred Jones himself stood in the center of the ring. He combed his blond hair and flexed both of his large biceps. With great pride, he began to smile broadly and wave at the crowd. Suddenly, his biceps shrunk until they seemed to be about as thick as a pencil. They also began to feel as though they were made of rubber and Fred found himself having a hard time lifting them. Fred stopped waving at the crowd. His broad grin disappeared as thousands of warts and zits appeared on his face. A sudden breeze blew all the hair off the top of Fred's head while his stomach ballooned to an absurdly large size. Each duplicate of Daphne in the audience was now laughing so loud that the sound of it was deafening. Fred looked up into the crowd and saw a mixture of disgust and amusement on all of their faces. A wave of vertigo passed through him. Fred transformed into a swarm of hideous insects which flew into the crowd. The look of disgust and amusement on the faces of each of the copies of Daphne swiftly turned into a look of abject terror.
Fred abruptly woke up and found himself in the back of his van. The other members of Mystery, Inc. were scattered here and there throughout the van. All of them were still asleep. Daphne shared the back right hand corner with him. Her head rested on his shoulder and the lilac scent of her perfume threatened to drive him insane. Fred thanked a God that he did not believe in that he didn't scream upon waking up this time as he had several times in the recent past. Trying to explain that or the tears which were now streaming down his face would have been difficult. Fred was even having trouble explaining it to himself. He began working hard at pushing all of this out of his mind, denying the countless things wrong with himself and his life that he wasn't able to deal with, and struggling to work out how he would face the world when the rapidly approaching day soon arrived.