Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King, or any of the characters. (If I did, I wouldn't be here.) I do, however, own Aella and Usoa. So...no suey me! TT!
Inspiration: Song: Inconsolable Artist: Backstreet Boys, Song: A Little Pain Artist: Olivia. Yes, I listen to them. Shocker, but really, that's a good song. The other song is from the Anime Nana. Both songs are good, and worth listening to.
A little...
Too Late.
He sat there keeping his usual stature. Golden orbs glaring out of the window; his right leg propped up, being used as a holster for his right arm. His left hand was down behind him, being used to keep his upper body up in that same old sitting position.
He wore a white, tight fitting long-sleeved shirt; a large design of his family's symbol resting on the back. The ying-yang symbol staring out towards the girl. His pants were baggy and black, as usual, but lacking the usual holes along the side. His hair, the purple mass that it was, was up in the usual pointed spike.
Silence.
That's what was clinging to the room, nothing was spoken between the two. No words were really needed, both understood one another. At least, she believed they did, but he..
No, he knew that she wasn't in total understanding of his silence. Slowly, his lids closed; a grunt lifting from his closed lips, causing the girl to blink.
The girl, in question, was someone close to him. At least, to his knowledge she was close, but to her...
She didn't think that. She didn't believe she was important to him, but who would, with his closed up-self. It was hard to understand him sometimes.
There he sat. Quiet as ever as he watched the outside world through the large glass window; at least from the girl's view it would appear so, but his hues were closed.
There. Standing behind the twenty-two year old male, was none other than the girl that viewed him as her world.
Her long, dark magenta colored hair was held up. A bun placed on the back of her head, small strands flipping backwards, to cover the pin. Her bangs were left to hang in front of her face, two thick strands hanging on each side of her features.
Light purple hues gazed at the man in front of her, the man that she had closed herself from. It had pained her to do so, but she did. Out of respect, and fear. Fear of total rejection and among other things.
She stood there clad in the white dress that held onto her body; black lace curling around the shoulders and slightly above the chest area; her hands were lowered down to her side, her purple hues shifting towards the floor.
She knew.
She knew that he didn't feel for her as she did him.
At least, that's what her mind told her.
The girl, or Aella Erasmus as she was known, turned and shook her head. It was fruitless to try and go about winning his affection, his heart. It just wasn't possible. Not for her. Closing her hues, she took in a silent, deep breath and turned to glance at him.
"...Goodbye, Ren." She said, her voice soft spoken as a small frown displayed on her lips.
It didn't take long for the door to be shut soundlessly as she walked away; her purple hues blurring as tear began to arrive as if they were a plague. She wished that he would chase her, tell her that of his true feelings and proclaim that she was his, but she knew better than that. She knew not to wish on senseless things.
Because, in truth, it was not going to happen.
Not now, not ever.
Unbeknown to the man, this was her last goodbye. Her last set of words to him, for him. He would no longer be seeing that stubborn girl and he would no longer get to see the smile that was reserved for him and him alone. All because her family was falling, and she turned to them, just as a coward would. She was a coward, because she was running.
Running away from the possibilities. Possibilities that she thought didn't exist. She knew that going home would be the end of her freedom, but what much could she do? Feeling broken and alone, she really held no choice, but she did...
Deep down, she knew she had a choice. She could confess, and take a chance to be rejected, but she wasn't so sure that she would be able to handle that.
The boy, Ren Tao, sat there silently staring out of the glass frame. His golden hues exposed to the world around him, not that any were there to see. A small frown claimed his lips as a long sigh escaped his being.
Again he let her leave.
Again, she left with the same words.
Her soft voice echoed in his mind as he shook his head. He couldn't allow that weakness. He couldn't, no...
He wouldn't allow her to become his weakness. To open up a new door, even though he longed for that door to burst open.
He just couldn't.
His right hand lifted, digits curling against his forehead; the tips brushing against the deep purple strands as his brows furrowed. Pursing his lips together, he turned his head towards the side; glancing over at the closed door. Lifting his head slowly, he blinked; a sudden realization seeping over him.
She was gone.
His expression remained cold and unreadable, but inside...
He was hurting.
He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and just gush about his feelings, but damned, he was a Tao. And Tao's don't gush. They don't exclaim such affections.
They just don't!
It was unheard of and he would not break that chain. He would not bring that kind of weakness down upon himself. He was strong, and wanted to get stronger.
The stubborn side of him got the best, a small glare shifting onto his expression, his golden tiger hues locking onto the door. He wanted to have the last say, but it was too late. However, for him, it wasn't.
"I don't need you..." He muttered, his voice firm; although, underneath that harden tone there was a barely noticeable hint of affection towards her being, but she wasn't around to hear it.
And he had no clue that she wouldn't ever be around again. She would never have a chance to become something that she longed, and that he tried to prevent.
Turning his form towards the right, Ren walked from the room and into the living room of the house. There sitting on the couch, all laid back and relaxed was none other than Yoh Asakura. His brown hair spiked, and his normal clothing latching onto his limbs.
The deep brownish-black orbs glanced at his closed off friend; his head slightly tilting to the side a bit as his hands lifted behind his head. Beside him was Keisam, Ren Tao's cousin and personal pain in the ass.
Keisam glanced over at his cousin only to give a slight glare; his arms folding against his chest. His long, brown hair, was tied back as usual and his chocolate colored orbs shifted to the side. Veronica, another cousin to Ren, had previously told Keisam all about Aella and Ren's situation and needless to say, Keisam was disappointed.
Then again, Keisam was usually the random, gushing one. Not Ren, so he really couldn't blame him. Picking up a random book, he began to flip through the pages; Yoh lightly shaking his head as his hues closed slowly as Ren turned to leave. Only to be stopped by a sentence that would haunt him.
"You know, Renny. She's leaving tomorrow morning." The laid back boy's spoke up, the lazy tone present as ever. Did anything ever bother him? It was unknown due to that damned tone of his.
Ren blinked, his golden spheres taking on a look of confusion, before he took on his usual mask before looking back at Yoh over his shoulder.
"She already left, idiot. Or were you spacing off, like always?" His British accent took it's toll. Shaking his head, he turned to leave once more, only to stop; yet again.
"No, he wasn't, Ren. You're just being difficult, like always. But, what he means is she's leaving tomorrow morning to go back to Italy. To her family." Keisam spoke up, his chocolate colored optics glued to the page before him. His brows narrowed with a look of confusion; his head shaking a bit as he lifted his gaze to the other.
Ren just stood there; a feeling of anger overtaking him.
Fine, if she wanted to go and visit her family. That was fine, but she would be back. She would always come back to him, even if she wasn't his, he knew he held her heart. How did he know? Through how she acted, even if she pulled off a show of being rude and cold, like he was, she wasn't.
She was far from it.
"...She's not coming back, Ren. Aella is gone for good now, after tomorrow. From what she said, she'll be getting married the day after she steps foot onto her family's grounds. Something about... Keeping her family strong, or something to that effect. Proud, I think. But, yeah..." Keisam's voice filtered, invaded the Shaman's mind. Echoing within the dark walls.
Ren's body tensed, his heart skipping a beat at the words; his golden hues shrinking to a small size. His hands hung at his sides, slender digits curling to form a ball. She was leaving and didn't tell him? How could she do that to him, to leave without a word. Or so much as a good-- His train of thoughts wrecked, realization coming to him like light to darkness, or a ton of bricks.
His lips parted, but no sound came out. Slowly, he closed his eyes and forced his lips to close; a grunt coming out of him. If she wanted to leave, fine.
Let her.
If she wanted to be with someone else, let her. He didn't care. He wouldn't care. He couldn't.
"I don't care, Keisam. Don't tell me something that's useless to me." He said without effort of holding back his anger. He was pissed.
She was his. She wasn't allowed to go to someone else, but apparently she was. Although, that much was his own fault. His own set of blame. If he would have spoken, then perhaps she wouldn't leave, and it wasn't too late. But, for Ren Tao, and his stubborn nature. It was too late.
Keisam sat there, the book laying on his lap as a rather known look entered into his deep colored orbs; understanding. He had been like Ren before, but he had changed and that was good for him. Though, he knew how Ren was, and with that...
If Ren didn't change his mind soon, both of them would never be truly happy, at least that's what he believed. Closing his eyes, he sighed lightly and pushed himself from his seat; disappearing to his own room for the night. Hoping that his stubborn cousin would come into true reason and chase after her, but that was a long shot.
Ren, after getting over the small shock of hearing that, retreated to his own room. What he would do? That was simple, he wouldn't go after her. He wouldn't do anything, at least, that was the thoughts that went through his head as he began to get dressed.
For what?
Bed.
There she sat.
Silent and hunched over on a park bench, her purple hues closed tight to avoid allowing the tears permission to fall. She didn't want to cry. Not in front of people, but there weren't that many people out. Due to the rain storm that would be approaching soon.
Her heart hurt.
Her chest tightened in pain as she sat there; her hands curling tighter against the bench's seat. Taking in a broken breath, she tilted her head back slowly; exhaling lightly, or to the best to keep her sobbing needs under control. Only, it wasn't as good as she thought.
The tears began to slowly fall from the corner of her eyes. She had told Yoh that she would be leaving, but Keisam got the full truth out of her. Well, from Veronica, but it was all the same. Biting her lower lip, she sniffled softly; her head turning to the side. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn't she just...be like she used to and push it aside without even thinking about it?
The questions continued, but not an answer showed up. Her brows narrowed slowly, her lips pursing together; her lower lip quivering.
She wanted to just break down and cry, but she couldn't. Her pride wouldn't let her.
People continued to walk past her, giving her curious glances. Some, however, were of understanding, even if they didn't know what was going on. Some had been in her situation, trying to keep back sobs before, it wasn't easy. Even though they gave her apologetic gazes, none walked over to comfort the girl they didn't know. And it wasn't like Aella would allow them that right.
Lifting her right hand, she curled her digits against her lips; holding back a sob as the tears continued to trail down her cheeks. The sky was blue, people were walking to leave the park, and some were even having fun doing it.
Not that she blamed them, but damnit.
She wanted her rain.
She wanted the puddles of muddy water, the cold air and the stinging drops of liquid pinching against her skin. She wanted this day to be how she felt. She wanted it to match her.
And she would be getting that.
Soon, rain began to pour down slowly; the clouds shading over the area. Beating down against her body, causing her clothing to get wet. The rain picked up and started to downpour as if it were angry, just as she felt. Soon, her hair was soaking wet against her head, her cloths clinging to her body. Her anger was there and her pain, but the sob that she tried to hold back earlier, they began to rise worse than anything, but she still fought them.
Even with the rain pouring down, she didn't want to let them out.
Her mind was too hazy to think clearly, and her vision was too blurry to see straight. How could she have let herself get into this mess? How was it that he wormed his way past her walls that she fought so hard to put up? What made him different?
An angry sob escaped past her lips, her voice lifting into the air as her hand quickly shot down; hitting against the bench. She hated it. She bhated/b this feeling. She didn't want it and now that she knew the cause of it, it would no more come to her. Hell, it made no sense to her why she was breaking down like this in the first place, then again...
She was leaving without telling him how she felt, she was leaving the guy she had fought so hard not to fall for, and he did nothing to stop her.
Nothing.
That pained her most of all. To walk away and not have him chase her as if he were afraid of letting her out of his sight, but no...
Instead, he was probably at home, sleeping or watching T.V. The thought of it brought forth another sob, although, this one was muffled by Aella biting her lower lip, her head turning towards the right slightly. Opening her hues, she tried to blink away the tears. The rain wasn't really helping on the fact to keep warm, being rather cold and stinging on her flesh. Pushing herself up slowly from the bench, she took in a deep, shattered breath and shook her head.
"I...It has to be this way." She muttered, her voice horse due to crying.
Lifting her arms, she curled them around herself. Now, the whole world could see her. She had so willingly gave her heart to the man she loved, but he ripped it out and showed it to the world, with no weapon at all, but his silence. Now, where her heart used to be was a deep, gaping hole for the whole world to see.
She bled.
Her empty space bled deeply as she began to walk towards the exit of the park.
She had to leave tomorrow morning, so there was no use of staying out and catching a cold. Usoa would be worried about her as it were, and probably end up screeching at her for being late again. But, with how her stomach felt and her heart, she doubted that she could walk that far, and she was right. It wasn't but two to three steps that she collapsed, falling to her knees; her hands pushing out to support her.
Her head hung, a frown on her lips; her purple gaze glued to the concrete underneath her. Slowly, her lower lip quivered; her lips pushing together as the pain she was feeling contorted onto her face. Her hues instantly shut, tear drops mixing with the rain as they fell to the ground. Her hands balled into fists as she lowered herself down.
Why was she so hurt?! She didn't understand it. It shouldn't have hurt this much, but...
It wasn't just her feelings for him, it was everything.
The pain she held in during all these years came leashing out violently. The pain of being forced to live without her childhood, the pain of being hated and called weak all her life from the father that claimed to love her, the pain of being hated and looked down on for being the way she was. The pain of never being able to fully admit how she felt, and to have that in return.
It all came rushing and she was powerless against it.
A sob wrecked from her body, her shoulders shaking as her right hand lifted up; only to shoot itself back down. Quickly, and rather harshly, planting itself against the concrete floor. That wasn't the smartest idea to do on her part, having earned a sickening crack, which she couldn't hear but feel. The pain shot up through her arm, causing her to wince and whimper slightly; her brows narrowing a bit in pain. Quickly, she lifted her hand up to her chest; cradling it with her free one. The pain wasn't bearable. She wanted it all to go away, to feel free from him.
And she would. Once she was gone, she would have Diamond pull off that one ability he was able, that one single ability that would forever change her world.
Unnatural colored orbs glanced at the window, thunder rolling angrily over the skies, along with the lighting that came beforehand. Lifting her right hand up, blond strands were brushed back behind the pointed ear; a soft sigh escaping her lips.
"Where are you, 'Ella?" The soft, worried voice lifted into the air.
The girl, or Angel as she was, had long blond hair. Unnatural pink colored eyes, and pointed ears. Along with see-through wings, and a halo that would often appear. A white dress that held a black hemming design followed, the clothing clinging to her form, with small crosses placed in random areas.
True, she was worried about her Mistress, but in a way she knew what was going on. She always did. Aella always told her everything, before she told anyone else. Hell, she even know how her young Mistress felt for the spiky haired male, before he knew.
Although, the reason behind her worry was so much more than it seemed. She didn't want Aella to leave and go to ihim/i. She wanted her to stay with Ren, and be happy. But both of them were stubborn. So much that it could drive someone crazy. -- Shaking her head, she lifted up from the window seat and curled her arms around her; eyes closing slowly as she stood near the white colored phone. She was waiting…
For what?
In front of her the phone seemed to give an invisible jerk, ringing loudly. The rings echoing within the walls of the room. Her hands were held tightly against her chest, her pink hues snapping open to look at the phone. She knew who it was, but she didn't want to answer it. She didn't want to talk to ihim/i. The man that would be taking her and her Mistress away.
Thin brow narrowed as the phone continued to ring as if beckoning her to answer. She knew Aella would get angry if she neglected to answer, and that upset her just a bit. Heaving a defeated sigh, she lifted out her right hand, digits curling around the handle of the phone to lift it to her ear.
"Hello?" She asked, her voice slightly distant; her pink optics glaring at the wall before her.
"Usoa, nice of you to pick up. Where is Aella?" The voice spoke, cynical tone tooting his voice. It was untelling what he was thinking in that brain of his.
"Nyaah. She's not in at the moment, I'll tell her you called, Matsuda-san." She said, frowning; lowering her gaze to the floor.
"Please do, Usoa. Ah, and Usoa… If she isn't on that plane, I'll stain her families name." He said, and with that hung up.
Usoa stood there, the dial tone ringing in her ear. She knew what he was capable of, and knew that he would try and get his way no matter what. Sighing softly for what seemed like the umpteenth time, she placed the phone down on it's proper hanger. Shaking her head slowly she turned and walked towards the window, placing her hands on it as she looked out.
"…It can't be helped."
The words escaped her lips easily, even though they were wistful. The rain continued to fall against the window, trailing down to make little paths as if it were a maze. Closing her eyes, she placed her forehead against the cold glass, between her hands and frowned.
She knew what had to be done but the small part of her wanted to fight against it, wanted nothing more than to run and hide from these problems. But she knew that Aella wouldn't allow that. She was a strong woman, and stood up for what she thought was right, and what she believed in.
What was she going to do?
Ren shifted, his eyes opening. He wasn't able to sleep, and he knew why. It was because of her. Placing his right arm behind his head, his left hand rested on his stomach as he stared up at the ceiling. He laid there in complete darkness, no light illuminating the room. Nothing but pure darkness, and the roll of lighting every now and then.
Turing to his right side, Ren watched the rain slid down the window. The droplets of water clinging against the glass for dear life. Closing his eyes, he lifted his left hand to place of his face. Honestly, he didn't want her to go, but there wasn't much he could do now.
Opening his eyes a moment after, he looked at the window, once more and pursed his lips together. It was as if the window had become a white screen so that his memories could play freely on it. He could easily imagine her smile, which caused one of his own.
Perhaps he was being too foolish, perhaps he should chase after her. To go and claim her as his own, never letting her out of his possession, but then…
Why would she give him that chance?
So many thoughts came to mind, but none seemed to stick. Closing his eyes, he knew there was only one way to truly solve things. He could only pray that he wouldn't be too late to stop her. With that thought in mind, the Shaman slowly began to drift off to sleep. He didn't exactly know what time she would be leaving, but he could get that out of his cousin.
Pushing the door opened, she glanced to the side. She was soaking wet, but didn't care. Lifting her right hand, she placed it over her eyes as she shook her head. Her shoes hit against the floor as she slipped them off. She really shouldn't have stayed out in the rain. She felt light-headed.
She knew that Usoa would have been asleep by now, unless she stayed up; something she highly doubted. Shifting her gaze ahead of her, she walked towards the bathroom. Passing by the living room, she glanced over at the couch and frowned.
"Just as I thought." She muttered, staring at the sleeping angel curled into a ball. Silently, she walked over and reached on the back of the couch. Pulling the mint creamed colored blanket down over her friend.
"…I'm sorry, Usoa." She whispered softly, and turned to go upstairs, and straight to the bathroom to take a quick, warm shower before she headed to bed.
Stepping out of the steamed tub, she walked over to the mirror. A towel wrapped around her torso, and going down to her thighs. Placing her hands on the sink, she tilted her head slightly to the side and forced a small smile.
"Soñaré con usted…( 1 )" A soft whisper let into the air of a promise that would only be heard by her, and none other.
Turning, Aella left the bathroom and went to her own, her hair hanging over her shoulders; the damp, cold strands touched against the bare skin of her flesh. It wouldn't be long until she was no longer free, but a prisoner to her fate.
Soon, the young woman climbed into bed, to await the morning. A morning of which would change her life, and cause her nothing but pain. That would be the beginning of her old self's return. This time..
No one would slip past her walls.
No one.
Stepping past the sliding doors, purple hues scanned the area, her head slowly canting to the side. In her right hand she held the handle to a suit case, the other hand curled around the strap of her purse. Her clothing was of the normal dress, a white and yellow decorated dress. Flowers and veins going here and there. Her sandals were white, and her hair was let down to hang around her shoulders.
Usoa stood beside her, glancing around at everyone and thing that seemed to take her attention. "Nee, Aella. Do you think this is the right thing to do?" She asked, shifting her gaze to her long-time friend, her hands hanging in front of her; holding a white suitcase. Aella shifted her gaze and shrugged, frowning a bit.
"I don't know, Usoa. But I have nothing to stay here for." She said, casting a gaze towards her friend, before walking towards her port. It would be soon that they would be leaving, and no longer would she remember them. No longer would she cry over them. They would no longer be apart of her memory.
Ren stood there, glancing up at the tall building, his hues slowly narrowed, a thin line resting on his lips. His hands were balled at his sides, his knuckles turning white in color. All he had to do was take a step into the building and search for her. All he had to do was yell out her name, and tell her that she wasn't allowed to leave. All he had to do… Was a take a step forward.
And that's exactly what he did.
One foot pushed forward, then the other. It repeated itself, until he was rushing in and running. His eyes scanned the crowd, looking for the one thing that would stand out, but it seemed to fail him. He didn't see her anywhere, that was until he glanced at the escalator.
There he saw her, but she didn't look his way. She was looking ahead, a concentrated look on his face. He wanted to scream her name to get her attention, but at the same time his pride seemed to be getting in the way.
Hands cupped round his lips as he watched her, "Aella!" Hoping that would be enough to catch her attention, but it wasn't. She seemed to glance around, but not to him.
"AELLA!"
The name echoed in her ears, causing her to blink. She did take a quick glance around, but she didn't see anyone looking at her. Usoa seemed to be oblivious to the shout, which only made her think she was hearing things. Sighing softly, she closed her eyes, before taking that needed step forward. That one step was a step closer towards the man she hated with all her being.
Why was she doing this again? Oh, right. Her families sake. Shaking her head, she continued to walk forward and soon she was handing the woman her ticket, just as Usoa and walked into the plane. Her prison.
Ren rushed up the escalator, not taking a moment to apologize to anyone he ran into. He had to get there before it was too late. Before she lifted off. He just had to. It couldn't end this way, and he would be damned if it did. He felt his heart pound against his chest as he came to a stop, his eyes widening slightly. There he saw her walk into the small hallway, there he saw her leave.
But he wouldn't lose.
"Aella, don't go!" He yelled out, rushing towards the hall itself, only to be stopped by one of the staff. He felt the hands grab his arms and jerk him back, but all he could watch was her form disappear into the small crowd. All he could feel was a rush of pain take hold of his heart. All he could do was scream her name.
Her form seemed to tense, her feet freezing in place. Her hand gripped onto the strap as she turned to face the exit, she expected to see him standing there. Having thought she heard his voice, and with the way people were looking around and back, she guessed they heard him too.
"Usoa… Did you hear him?" She asked, looking to her friend. Usoa turned and smiled at her, shaking her head a bit.
"Hear who, Aella?" She asked, tilting her head to the side with a curious gaze. Aella frowned and shook her head, her brows furrowing slightly. She heard him. She knew she did, but… Then why wasn't he there? Where did he disappear to?
"N-nothing. Let's go." She muttered lightly, turning to step onto the plane, soon taking her seat.
"Let me go, I have to get to her!" He said, scowling towards the man dragging him towards the stairs.
"Sir, I'm afraid that you aren't allowed to do that." The man spoke, making sure that he couldn't get back to the hall.
"But you don't understand! I have to talk to her!"
"I understand, Sir. But you'll have to do that another way, or buy a ticket."
Feeling defeated, Ren turned on his heel and watched as the plane lifted into the air. He didn't know if that was her plane, or another. But just the thought of her being on it. The thought of her leaving him to be with another sent a sharp pain through his heart. It wasn't like she wanted to go, right? She tried to speak with him, but he ignored it.
He refused to be defeated. He was Tao Ren, after all.
He would just have to go after her, even if he had to do it alone. He would, and no one would stop him. No one would defeat him.
No one.
Glancing down at the ground, she sighed softly; her head resting against the small glass window. This was it. There was no turning back, and once she stepped out on the grounds. Her wedding would start to be planned, and she would never be able to turn back.
But just knowing of them, and him, she couldn't bare that. So, she would have Diamond pull off his infamous trick. He'd be able to repress her memories of being near them, or with him. He would be able to make her believe something else. And for the sake of her being, she would have him do just that.
She didn't want to remember anymore.
Tears slowly fell down her cheeks as she watched the clouds cover the ground. Her eyes closing. She was really doing this. Not for the sake of her, but for the sake of her families name. Such pride.
"…Goodbye, Ren."
Travel to the moon
The dream where you first appeared fades out
The light of the star I longed for is taken away
The smile I had to forget in order to be strong, for sure
If we are together, we can take it back
1 - Soñaré con usted...: I'll be dreaming of you. I took this small piece form Selena's "Dreaming of you tonight". I don't exactly know why, but I felt that it fit.
I'm not exactly proud with the ending, it could have been better. But, I kind of rushed through that part. Pyuu, sorry if it sucks. This is, honestly, my first serious Shaman King Fiction. Now, I'm not sure, but I might end up turning this into a story. Depends on what the Reviewr's say. So, yes. If you want it to continue... REVIEW!
Push that little purple/blue button. It won't break your finger. Type a bit, it won't hurt or bite you. I promise.
Small Message: Travy, I hoped you like the story. I started writing it before you decided to re-do Kei, and started over. But, kinda glad you did, in a way. Still, hoped you liked it. Anyway, talk to you later, or now... Actually, I am talking to you now. Ohohoh! RENISMINE! -Evil little snicker.-
Until next time.