As Riley loads the last box into the back of her hatchback and stares at her entire life packed up before her, she has to wonder to herself if she really is insane.
She could've just had her stuff shipped. She could've just taken a direct flight back to New York, had her stuff delivered within the next week, and made the whole journey quite sweet and simple. No hassle, no stress, from one coast to the other in record time.
All of this in retrospect. She could've. But she didn't.
She slams the back of the car shut, exhaling a deep sigh and hopping back onto the curb.
Jade waits by the hood, twisting her fingers together nervously and looking at the hunk of junk apprehensively. Her fidgeting drifts to the end of her braid hanging off her shoulder, twirling it. "Are you sure you want to do this, Riles? Cross-country is a long trip to take all by yourself."
Standing in front of her for what may be the final time, Riley suddenly realizes how great of a roommate Jade Beamon actually was. She wasn't particularly engaging or outgoing, nothing extraordinary, but then, in her deepest heart of hearts Riley knows she isn't either. But she was genuine, and kind, and didn't bring friends over at late hours or anything like the stunts her past roommates pulled. It's a shame she only got to room with her for senior year—for all intents and purposes, Jade's probably the closest thing she has to a true friend from her four years at UC Riverside.
And it's just now as she's facing her, about to take off on her own, that she realizes maybe she'll really miss her.
Riley steps forward and holds out her arms for a hug, grateful when Jade eagerly meets her halfway. They embrace, holding each other tightly for a few seconds.
"I'll be okay," Riley assures her into her shoulder, pulling away first. She gives her an optimistic smile. "This is something I have to do. And I'm excited anyway, it would be a shame to chicken out now."
"Jeez, 'something you have to do.' What a writer thing to say," Jade jokes. It's not the first crack she's made at Riley's choice of major in their couple of years of friendship. Considering she's a biology major and not exactly in tune with her creative side, she finds Riley's theatrics more than amusing.
Riley backs off a bit, holding out her arms and grinning. "Well, that's that then."
"Okay. Text me when you get back. Or at some point, just so I know you're not dead on the side of the road. Okay?"
"Will do," Riley agrees, pulling open the driver's side door. She hovers outside the car, propping her elbow on the window frame. "Have fun at Baylor, okay? Don't let grad school overwhelm you."
"Well, too late for that." Jade clasps her hands together sheepishly, giving her a shy smile.
Riley climbs into the car and closes the door behind her, taking in her surroundings. She holds her hands over the wheel uncertainly, inhaling deeply and letting the breath out calmly through her nose. She mentally reminds herself to keep her cool.
"I can do this," she mutters, buckling her seatbelt and reaching up to adjust her mirrors. "I can do this."
She catches a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, a little caught off guard at how tired she looks. Absorbing her disheveled state, realizing how disconnected from herself she feels, she remembers why she wanted to take this road trip in the first place. Because when she looks in the mirror she sees someone she doesn't recognize, and it's not because she's lost herself. It's because when she thinks about it—really, truly thinks about it—she discovers maybe she never knew herself to begin with.
That's what this trip is about. Finding Riley Matthews. Finding herself.
She puts the key in the ignition, immediately starting her carefully curated road trip playlist and staring out at the road ahead of her. Many miles from New York. Many chances to discover herself.
Jade crosses her arms, giving her a smile as she pulls away from the curb. Riley offers her one last wave before focusing on the dashboard, making the first dent in the long, winding road back home. She doesn't know what it's going to be like to get back there—with her parents and her degree and her lack of a plan—but she'll worry about it when she arrives.
For now, it's just her and her playlist and the open road waiting for her.