This popped into my head one day while I was raking leaves for my dad, and I thought about what Max would say if an ex of hers refused to leave her alone and she had a full conversation with him through a sibling. It sounded funny in my head.
Background info: Max and Nudge are sisters, and are human. For some reason, Max dumped her boyfriend Sam, and he won't give up, so she's really frustrated with him. And she's a huge tomboy.
Read and enjoy,
{-Inky--}
"Ma-ax!"
I turned to see Nudge, standing on the deck steps, waving the portable phone in my direction. I straightened, propping my hands on the top of the handle of my rake.
"What?" I asked, wiping some sweat off my forehead.
"Phone." Well, obviously, I thought. She was kind of waving it like a flag.
"Who is it?"
"Sam." I made a face. The oh-so-infamous ex.
"Ugh, tell him I don't want to talk to him." Nudge nodded, and put the phone to her ear, disappearing into the house. A moment later, she emerged from the door again.
"He says he won't stop calling until you do."
"Tell him I'm busy then." She spoke briefly into the phone.
"He says it's really important."
"Can't you just get rid of him?" I pleaded, fully aware that I would owe her one, which is a scary thought. She pretended to think for a moment.
"How?"
"I don't know. Tell him anything."
"Like what?"
"Like . . . I mysteriously died, or I'm actually a dude, or I'm out on a date with. . . Elmo. I don't care, just tell him something!"
"Uhh . . . he says he knows you're not dead, you're definitely a girl, and Elmo's a puppet."
"Tell him I'm gay."
"Are you really?" Nudge looked absolutely horrified.
"No, of course not! But it might throw him off."
"He says you're not gay, and he really wants to talk to his girlfriend."
"Girlfriend! Ex-girlfriend is more like it!"
"He says he wants to know why you're his ex."
"Because he's a back-stabbing, sexist asshole, that's why!"
"I can't say that."
"Why not?"
"Mom says not to swear."
"I'll say I gave you permission."
"'Kay. He wants to know why you think that."
"Because he wouldn't stand up and vouch for me when Coach cut our team, even though he knows I'm better than half the guys on his team."
"He says to act like a girl for five minutes, and he wants to know what else."
"Tell him I know that he did that red-headed skank at Joey's party."
"I can't—"
"I'll take the heat."
"He says that was an accident."
"Yeah, sure. He just accidentally boinked her. Puh-lease."
"He says he wants to talk to you."
"Tell him I said bite me. And then hang up."
"There. You know, you two really need to work your issues out soon."
"Yeah, yeah. Who died and made you Dr. Phil? Come down here and help me get this done so we can go." Nudge shrugged and bounced down the steps, snatching another rake from where it was propped up against the side of the deck.
So, what'd you think?
Rate it on a funny scale of 1 to 10.
10 being the highest.
Orville says hi!