DISCLAIMER- I don't own the actual idea, and I took a lot of lines from the poem by Dr. Seuss, but I did add in a few lines that were mine. It's really hard to make the lines rhyme all the time, you know.
THE SNEETCHES STAR TREK STYLE
Now the blue-shirted officers,
had shirts that were blue.
For the red-shirted ensigns,
only red shirts would do.
-
These color weren't so bright,
The difference was small.
You might think such a thing
wouldn't matter at all.
-
But because they had blue shirts, all the blue-shirted officers,
would brag, "Out of the whole ship, we're the best kind of officers."
With their noses in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort,
"We'll have nothing to do with the red-shirted sort!"
And whenever they met, when they were in the halls walking,
They'd walk right on past them, without even talking.
-
When the crew was going to beam down in the transporter,
could a red-shirt come? No! And that was an order.
You only could come if your shirt was blue.
And there was nothing the red-shirted ensigns could do.
-
When the blue-shirted officers went to fight an enemy,
or to have a fun shoreleave, or meet the Crystalline entity,
they never invited the ones with red on.
They ignored them as they went to beat Khan.
They kept them away, never let them come near.
And that's how they treated them, year after year.
-
Then one day, it seems, while the red-shirts,
were sitting around, thinking they wanted blue shirts.
They were just staring up at the skies,
and a stranger appeared right in front of their eyes.
-
"My friends," he announced and his voice wasn't new,
"I am the one that many call Q.
I've heard of your troubles, I've heard you're unhappy.
But I can fix that, I'm a fix-it-up chappie!
I've come here to help you. I have what you need.
And my prices are low, and I work at great speed.
And my work is one hundred percent guaranteed!"
-
Q clapped and with a whoosh of air,
a huge machine appeared right there.
Q smiled and said "This will change what you wear.
I can give you a blue shirt, but I do expect pay.
just give me a phaser, right now today!"
-
"Just give me your phaser and hop aboard!"
So they clambered inside and the big machine roared.
And it klonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked.
And it tossed them around, but the thing really worked!
When the men came out their shirts were blue!
They didn't think it would work, but now they knew.
-
Then they yelled to the ones who had blue shirts at the start.
"We're exactly like you now, you can't tell us apart!
We're all wearing the same shirt that's blue!
Now we get to come on Shoreleave with you!"
-
"Good grief!" Groaned the ones who wore blue shirts first.
"We're still the best officers, and they are the worst!
But now how in the world will we know," They all frowned,
"If which one is what or the other way round?"
-
Then up came Q with a very sly wink,
and he said, "Things are not quite as bad as you think.
So you don't know who's who. That is perfectly true.
But come with me friends, do you know what I'll do?
I'll make you the best once again," smiled Q.
"and a phaser each is all it will cost you."
-
"Blue shirts are no longer in style." said Q.
Go into my shirt-coloring machine! Guess what it'll do?
It'll change your shirt from blue to red.
So you'll be different from the others, like I said."
And the handy machine work very precisely,
changed the color of their shirts, quite nicely.
-
Then with their noses in the air, they paraded about,
and they opened their mouths and they let out a shout.
"We know who's who! Just like we said!
The best kind of officers are officers in red!"
-
Then, of course those wearing blue all got frightfully mad,
to have a blue shirt now was terribly bad.
And of course, up came sly old Q,
Who said he could change their color to red, from blue.
-
Then, of course from THEN on, as can probably guess,
Things really turned into a horrible mess.
-
All the rest of the day, the shirt coloring machine was going,
the men changed their shirt color without even slowing.
Blue again! Red again!
In again! Out again!
Through the machine they all raced 'round and about again.
Changing their shirt color ever minute or so.
They kept giving Q phasers, they kept running through.
Until neither the blue, nor the red-shirted ones knew
Whether this one was that one.... or that one was this one
or which one was what one..... or what one was who!
-
Then, when they didn't have one
single phaser left to stun,
Q was done.
-
As he disappeared with a finger snap.
Q couldn't help but laugh.
"They never will learn.
No, you can't teach the Federation!"
-
But Q was quite wrong, I'm happy to say.
The crewmen got really quite smart on that day.
The day they decided that red or blue,
It's what's inside a person that's true.
That day all the officers forgot about color.
Now they focus on what's inside one another.
A/N- Hope you liked it! Review!
THE SNEETCHES STAR TREK STYLE
Now the blue-shirted officers,
had shirts that were blue.
For the red-shirted ensigns,
only red shirts would do.
-
These color weren't so bright,
The difference was small.
You might think such a thing
wouldn't matter at all.
-
But because they had blue shirts, all the blue-shirted officers,
would brag, "Out of the whole ship, we're the best kind of officers."
With their noses in the air, they would sniff and they'd snort,
"We'll have nothing to do with the red-shirted sort!"
And whenever they met, when they were in the halls walking,
They'd walk right on past them, without even talking.
-
When the crew was going to beam down in the transporter,
could a red-shirt come? No! And that was an order.
You only could come if your shirt was blue.
And there was nothing the red-shirted ensigns could do.
-
When the blue-shirted officers went to fight an enemy,
or to have a fun shoreleave, or meet the Crystalline entity,
they never invited the ones with red on.
They ignored them as they went to beat Khan.
They kept them away, never let them come near.
And that's how they treated them, year after year.
-
Then one day, it seems, while the red-shirts,
were sitting around, thinking they wanted blue shirts.
They were just staring up at the skies,
and a stranger appeared right in front of their eyes.
-
"My friends," he announced and his voice wasn't new,
"I am the one that many call Q.
I've heard of your troubles, I've heard you're unhappy.
But I can fix that, I'm a fix-it-up chappie!
I've come here to help you. I have what you need.
And my prices are low, and I work at great speed.
And my work is one hundred percent guaranteed!"
-
Q clapped and with a whoosh of air,
a huge machine appeared right there.
Q smiled and said "This will change what you wear.
I can give you a blue shirt, but I do expect pay.
just give me a phaser, right now today!"
-
"Just give me your phaser and hop aboard!"
So they clambered inside and the big machine roared.
And it klonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked.
And it tossed them around, but the thing really worked!
When the men came out their shirts were blue!
They didn't think it would work, but now they knew.
-
Then they yelled to the ones who had blue shirts at the start.
"We're exactly like you now, you can't tell us apart!
We're all wearing the same shirt that's blue!
Now we get to come on Shoreleave with you!"
-
"Good grief!" Groaned the ones who wore blue shirts first.
"We're still the best officers, and they are the worst!
But now how in the world will we know," They all frowned,
"If which one is what or the other way round?"
-
Then up came Q with a very sly wink,
and he said, "Things are not quite as bad as you think.
So you don't know who's who. That is perfectly true.
But come with me friends, do you know what I'll do?
I'll make you the best once again," smiled Q.
"and a phaser each is all it will cost you."
-
"Blue shirts are no longer in style." said Q.
Go into my shirt-coloring machine! Guess what it'll do?
It'll change your shirt from blue to red.
So you'll be different from the others, like I said."
And the handy machine work very precisely,
changed the color of their shirts, quite nicely.
-
Then with their noses in the air, they paraded about,
and they opened their mouths and they let out a shout.
"We know who's who! Just like we said!
The best kind of officers are officers in red!"
-
Then, of course those wearing blue all got frightfully mad,
to have a blue shirt now was terribly bad.
And of course, up came sly old Q,
Who said he could change their color to red, from blue.
-
Then, of course from THEN on, as can probably guess,
Things really turned into a horrible mess.
-
All the rest of the day, the shirt coloring machine was going,
the men changed their shirt color without even slowing.
Blue again! Red again!
In again! Out again!
Through the machine they all raced 'round and about again.
Changing their shirt color ever minute or so.
They kept giving Q phasers, they kept running through.
Until neither the blue, nor the red-shirted ones knew
Whether this one was that one.... or that one was this one
or which one was what one..... or what one was who!
-
Then, when they didn't have one
single phaser left to stun,
Q was done.
-
As he disappeared with a finger snap.
Q couldn't help but laugh.
"They never will learn.
No, you can't teach the Federation!"
-
But Q was quite wrong, I'm happy to say.
The crewmen got really quite smart on that day.
The day they decided that red or blue,
It's what's inside a person that's true.
That day all the officers forgot about color.
Now they focus on what's inside one another.
A/N- Hope you liked it! Review!