PLEASE READ THIS: Okay, this story isn't sexual in the slightest. It's based on an inside joke my friend and I have. I heard someone once call courage 'having man balls' and I've heard people call them 'girl balls' also. Well, anyway, I was talking to my bestie and complaining about how my beloved gentleman of a boyfriend is super shy, and jokingly I said, "Because of him, I have to grow metaphorical man-balls. I am now a metaphorical he-she." She still laughs at me. Now, enjoy the story.
Growing My Metaphorical Man-Balls
Robin collapsed onto his bed in a huff and snatched up his cell phone, his fingers rapidly flying as he dialed a number he had memorized. He pressed the phone to his ear and closed his eyes tightly in anger. On the second ring, Wally picked up.
"Hey Rob, I was just about to call you! Happy Birthday," Wally said happily and Robin heard a party horn blow in the background.
His anger faded and he laughed softly.
"Thanks dude," he muttered.
Hearing the deflated tone, Wally's happiness shrank and he frowned.
"Dude, it's your birthday! Why are you all… why are you all Supey?"
"Soupy?" Robin repeated. "Is that an insult?"
Wally smiled softly, propping his feet up on his chair, eying the TV screen at the paused game.
"No, I meant… you know how Superboy is? Superboy… Supey?"
Robin chuckled. "Heh, I feel so stupid."
Wally still heard the depression on Robin's lips through the phone wires.
"What's wrong? Do you need me to come over?"
There was a brief silence.
"Rob?" Wally asked, longing for Robin to invite him over.
"I… uh… yeah?" Robin surrendered.
Wally grinned victoriously.
"See you in five," he promised and closed the phone, pocketing it quickly.
In half a second, Wally was nothing but a streak against the warm summer air, only his hair visible. On the other end of the line, Robin sighed and set his cell phone down on the dresser beside him, weakly opening his blue eyes and getting to his feet to open the doors. First he opened his door. Last time he had forgotten to open his door and Wally had gotten a bloody nose. The scarlet stain was still visible on the oak of Robin's door. He smiled at the memory before calmly jogging down the stairs and easing the locks from the front door until he could pull it open, leaving the warm summer breeze to tickle his back as he started up the stairs again.
Once back in his room, he positioned himself on the left side of his bed, seeing that the right was in the path of the door. The last thing he wanted was to get speed glomped. The last speed glomp he had gotten had severely bruised his chest and had raised several questions during training that night with Bruce. Then, before he knew it, a red flash sped through the door and Robin was thrown two feet in the air as his bestie landed on the bed beside him.
"Sorry I'm late," Wally apologized sheepishly, running a hand unconsciously through his hair.
Robin managed a weak smile.
"Nah, it's okay," he smiled.
Wally then adjusted himself on the bed and got comfortable before turning to the matter at hand.
"Alright," he threw an arm around Robin just like an older sibling might do, "tell me why you aren't acting like yourself."
Robin rested his head in the crook of Wally's arm and fixed his eyes on the dresser mirror in front of him.
"It's my birthday… and he doesn't remember," he whispered.
"Who doesn't remember?" Wally asked, his emerald eyes full with concern.
"Bruce… I've been with him for four years…" Robin closed his eyes tightly and furrowed his brow. "Four years! He still doesn't know it!"
Wally winced slightly and hugged the ebony haired boy tighter.
"How do you know he doesn't remember?" Wally asked slowly.
He hated seeing his little 'brother' like this. He preferred seeing the boy's blue eyes sparkling as he giggled at someone messing up or going down in battle. No one liked seeing Robin in any mood beside happy, besides the fan-girls. Robin closed his eyes so tight that he started to see white through the never ending black and struggled to find the words to say. Then he opened his eyes, a slight watery glaze to them.
"I went downstairs for breakfast and he was at the table… he didn't notice me so I said 'good morning'. He just sat there and didn't acknowledge me so I sat down next to him and asked what we were doing today…" Robin's voice was faltering, but he kept talking. "He asked what was so special about today that we had to do anything…"
"That man whore!" Wally yelled out before he could control himself. "He can get screwed in the nose!"
Robin laughed weakly and rubbed at his eyes.
"Yeah but…" his voice broke and he lay there in his big 'brother's arm.
The two were silent, drowning in thought, unable to call out for help.
"You should go down and tell him it's your birthday," Wally suggested.
He noticed immediately that Robin tensed up at the mention.
"No!" he cried. "Bruce would-… he'd-… I can't!"
Wally turned to face his friend and found the blue eyes meet his. He saw the fear in those scarred eyes and his heart ached, but he didn't avert his gaze.
"Why can't you?" he asked calmly.
Robin opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it and fell silent, averting his gaze as he surrendered.
"Grow some metaphorical man-balls," Wally commanded, dropping his arm from Robin's shoulders, standing to his feet.
Robin's face reddened slightly.
"I already have those! You of all people should know!"
Wally laughed at the memory.
"Yeah; poor Supes! You'd think that those stupid elf things would've taught him what those look like!" then he sobered up. "I don't mean those man-balls though. I mean the metaphorical kind."
"Metaphorical man-balls?" Robin repeated, doubt and confusion clashing in his tone.
"Quit being a pussy? Grow up? Man up? You know... Grow some metaphorical man-balls!" he tried to explain.
Robin smiled, finally getting it.
"I uh… I guess… I could try?" he laughed just thinking of it.
Wally grinned, feeling victorious as he heard the little girlish laugh.
"Metaphorical man-balls?" Robin repeated again, shaking his head slowly. "Only you KF."
Wally just patted Robin's back.
"I'm always here for you bro," he said simply. "Now go tell Bruce. I gotta go!"
"Thanks Wally," Robin told his intimate [1].
"No problem. Happy Fourteenth!"
Robin watched the speedster fade from sight only for a moment before he heard a cry of pain.
"Stupid door," he heard the red head grumble and he heard the door open again.
Robin kept shaking his head, giggling at his friend's stupidness. It always cheered him up. Then, remembering his words, Robin stood tall and sporting a new pair of metaphorical man-balls, he headed down the stairs.
XxXxX
-6 Years Later-
Richard ran a hand through his jet black hair, exhaling slowly.
"I can do this," he assured himself.
Staring at the red head a few feet away, he knew that he couldn't though. He was scared stiff. This was a serious matter, possibly something that could change his whole life! If he messed up now, his whole life could possibly be over.
Oh, I can't do this! Look at me, a pansy! Batman would head slap me if he was still alive Richard thought grimly.
At the thought of his mentor, some words he hadn't though on in a while came to mind.
'Grow some metaphorical man-balls' he heard the fifteen year old red head say in his mind.
He chuckled silently to himself.
Alright KF, I'm growing them.
With a deep breath, he strode over to his best friend of many years and tapped him on the shoulder. Wally turned around, the same cheesy freckles sparkling over the bridge of his nose.
"Hey Dicky-boy!" Wally greeted his near little brother. "What's up?"
Richard set a hand on his neck.
"I was wondering something," he began.
"Aren't you always?" Wally scolded. "Kick back! Relax! Par-tay!"
The red head's girlfriend of a year now giggled as she clung to his arm. Robin smiled.
"Sorry dude," he apologized.
Wally lazily shrugged, glancing lovingly down at his girlfriend before looking back over at Richard.
"What were you wondering this time?" he asked calmly.
Dick took a deep breath.
"I uh… would you be… the best man at my wedding?" he squeaked out nervously.
Wally's eyes widened and a grin exploded over his face.
"I uh- yeah! Yeah!" he cried happily, encircling Richard in a bone crushing hug. "When did you and Kori decide this?"
"Tonight?" the blue eyed babe said, struggling to breathe beneath the hug.
Wally released him, and Dick collapsed, gasping for air. Wally's grin was apparent.
"Dude! This is- oh my gosh! My little Richie is getting married!" he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, positively grinning.
The pinkette smiled shyly, being a close friend of Kori. She had already been asked to be a bride's maid.
Then after a long night of hardcore celebrating, Richard walked off into the night, sporting his new pair of metaphorical man-balls.
[1] Meaning close friend, not romancey stuff.
AHAHAA! I love saying man-balls. (: Anyway, 'pinkette' is a reference to Jinx who some people say the freckle faced boy was all over in Teen Titans and I couldn't think of anyone besides Megan who Wally crushes on in YJ (I hate Artemis, remember that, so I don't write about her, although he does seem to like her too). So, review?
-Frank Ann Jo III