Welcome to My Heart and My Soul! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have writing it.
Disclaimer: I do not own these character, or this world. I just play with them.
The first time Severus Snape saw Hermione Granger he realized indeed that it was not his first time seeing her at all. While the girl anxiously awaiting her sorting was younger, with bigger teeth and chestnut hair, he knew it was her. He had nearly given up on time, wondering when he would see her walk through those big, wooden doors, even convincing himself for a few years that she was just some cruel joke being played on his imagination. But alas, here she was, her entrance marking the beginning of the end. He turned to Dumbledore, to see that he was already staring at with him with knowing, twinkling eyes. Severus rolled his eyes and looked away. "Damn that old man," he thought to himself. Turning his attention back to the young girl sitting down nervously on the stool, waiting for the hat to touch the hair of her head, he let out the breath he hadn't been aware of holding in. He was not looking forward to being her professor. Just the thought of having to teach that insufferable know-it-all was enough to twist his insides out. As the hat was taking it's time sorting the damned girl, he determined that he must separate the Hermione Granger of the present from the girl he knew in his past. Suddenly, with a loud voice, the Sorting Hat cried out, "Gryffindor," causing Severus to nearly spit out his pumpkin juice. Sputtering, he put his napkin to his mouth to prevent the refreshment from falling through his shocked lips.
"Are you okay, Severus?" Madame Hooch questioned, concerned for the dark professor who never showed any reaction to any child being sorted before.
He growled in annoyance and simply nodded his head, swallowing the cursed drink.
Much later, in his own quarters, deep in the bowels of the castle, he poured himself a glass of firewhiskey. "Well, that was an unexpected turn of events," Severus said to himself. Remembering his reaction in the Great Hall, he sighed in frustrating, taking a seat in his chair by his fireplace. Balancing his glass of whiskey on the wooden armrest, he rubbed his eyes, embarrassed that he had made such a fool of himself. "You should count this as a blessing," he thought to himself, as he realized this was another thing he could use besides the color of her hair to distinguish between the two.
But a ruddy Gryffindor? Really? He shook his head in disapproval before swallowing the contents of his glass in one gulp.
Severus Snape was in for a hell of a few years.
Did that insolent twit of a girl seriously expect him to believe that she truly thought herself strong enough to take on a troll alone? Skeptically, he glared at the child in front of him. Her face wasn't giving anything away, but her eyes, oh her eyes, were telling him all he needed to know. Miss Hermione Granger was an incredible actress, but he knew those eyes. He knew her, probably better than anyone in that wretched bathroom did. The tick of her eyes to Potter and Weasley told Severus that it was their fault she was in the bathroom, presumably crying, in the first place. No matter, if she wanted to take the fall for those two idiots, let her. She was just a bloody Gryffindor after all.
Curse the gods! Severus Snape had no idea she could be this reckless. She had always been the voice of reason; the calm in the storm. And what does she go and do? She goes and gets herself nearly killed by a live chess set, trespassing in a part of the castle she had no business being in. Hopefully, next year would be better.
That Chamber of Secrets has been opened? Enemies of the heir, beware? "Buggering hell," Severus said aloud, "I need a drink."
"So let me get this straight. She stole from my personal inventory, made a potion well above her grade level, and then proceeded to use cat hair, believing it to be human hair, finally drinking the potion herself?" Severus questioned Madam Pompfrey, staring down at the cat-girl hybrid sleeping soundly in front of him.
She gravely nodded her reply.
Severus let out a chuckle, ignoring the hospital matron's quizzical look. Rapidly, his chuckle turned into full on laughter; he could not help the laughter rumbling out of his chest, and the tears running out of his eyes.
For all her talent, Miss Granger was an idiot.
When Severus Snape heard that Hermione Granger had been petrified, he was sure his heart had stopped beating. How could one girl be so prone to life threatening situations? He had to ignore all of the questioning glances he had been getting from the staff recently. Logically, he knew Madam Pompfrey and Professor Sprout were more than capable to make the solution themselves, but he did not care. It did not matter it would take longer for her to get her dose, he was making it himself. Blast it all to hell.
Not only did he insist on making her solution, he also insured he would be the one to administer it as well. "My best friend and closest confidant lying here a thirteen year old girl, and I sitting here, a thirty-two year old man," he muttered to himself, as he sat waiting for signs of life to take hold of the girl. "How ridiculous."
As she showed the first signs of breath, he left her swiftly. She was strong, and he knew she would survive. After all, there were still people she hadn't met yet.
A time turner? What adult in their right mind would give a bloody young teenager a time turner, no matter how smart and responsible she is? As Severus Snape stared in the flames of the fire before him, he suddenly realized what this meant. "So that hadn't been the first time you traveled through time, Miss Granger?" he said to himself. How remarkable. It was almost as if time herself had marked her.
"Turn to page three-hundred-and-ninety-four," Severus said, as he bore into Hermione Grangers eyes as if to say: "Come on, little miss know-it-all. Don't make me spell this out for you."
"El?" he heard Sirius Black question quietly. Peering into the room, he had to hold himself back. That dirty mutt had no business being near her. It was a matter that Severus found himself contemplating often. If she knew he would play the role of Judas, how could she have ever been with him? No matter, she always seemed to have a reason for everything.
"Sirius, that is Hermione," Remus said with a pointed look toward the malnourished man-child.
"But her eyes," Sirius said, taking a timid step towards the scared fourteen year old.
Severus felt his blood run cold. He gripped his wand tightly, determined to keep the horrid dog from harming her. He took a breath, and stepped into the room.
Severus Snape came to slowly. "What the hell just happened?" He thought, taking in his surroundings. "Damn that Harry Potter! Where did he take Miss Granger? I swear I am going to kill him."
Severus Snape felt her hand grip his shoulder as he stood as a barrier between the golden trio and the werewolf-who-couldn't-bloody-remember-to-take-his-potion. He would never admit it aloud, but he was afraid. He could feel the fear radiating off of the teenaged girl, and it unsettled him. She, who seemed to have no fear, clinged to him as if her life depended on it. Only once had that happened before. But this was simply not the place or time to think on such things, so he did the best to not dwell on the familiar heat pressing into his shoulder. He watched as Potter broke free to run after the two mangy mutts. Though afraid for her own life, Hermione had went to run to the aid of her idiot friend. Quickly, Severus latched onto her, pulling her back into him.
"No, Hermione," Severus said, though he nearly kicked himself in the ass for calling her that. Since when had she become Hermione to him? That wasn't even her name. She turned her head as if not to look at the scene in front of her, and began to cry. "Oh bloody hell," Severus muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes. He pulled her into his chest and gently placed a hand on the back of her horrid hair. "Please stop crying," he said awkwardly, shrugging at Mr. Wealsey's odd look on his face.
Hermione Granger used her time turner to save that blasted Hippogriff and scum bag Sirius Black. Of course she would. She always had a soft spot for animals.
It came as no surprise to Severus Snape when Harry Potter's name flew out of the Goblet. "Eternal glory? How could Mr. Potter possibly stay away from that?" he said sarcastically to no one in particular.
Ah, a Yule Ball. What a nightmare. Severus sneered when he saw her dancing with Victor Krum. The brightest witch of her age had terrible taste in men.
Severus shook his head. "Hermione Granger in the Black Lake, surrounded by Merpeople? I swear, if that dunderhead quidditch player doesn't come out of there with her in an hour, I am not jumping in there myself," he muttered. But really, he was just lying to himself. He would jump in a heartbeat if she was danger. He could he not? It was her.
He hissed violently at the burning in his arm, as he watched Potter clutch Cedric Diggory's dead body. With a nod to Dumbledore, he went to collect his robes. It was time; his master was calling.
Severus Snape saw Hermione Granger a few times that summer. With each passing day she looked more and more like her. He did his best to ignore the mutt, who did his best to make up excuses to be near her. But really, who could blame him? Severus couldn't help but feel a weed of bitterness sprouting up from his chest. Sirius got to spend so much time with her. It was no matter, the mutt might have had her heart, but he had her soul.
"She chose me, Snivellus. She always chose me," Sirius said viciously, holding his wand tightly, after cornering Severus Snape in the entrance hall of headquarters.
"Obviously," Severus said, frustration boiling inside him.
Sirius relaxed his grip on his wand. "It's almost time. She'll be leaving soon. Just a few years from now."
Severus couldn't help but feel a bit of pity for the broken man in front of him. Awkwardly, he shuffled pass the mutt. "Yes," he stated simply. He placed his hand on the door knob, and then hesitated.
"Do you think –" Sirius paused. "Do you think she. . . Oh forget it."
Severus sighed and turned around. "She loved you. She does." Swallowing down the urge to vomit from the look of pure hopefulness on the man in front of him, he sneered at him before turning to leave.
"He's got Padfoot at the place where it is hidden," said Potter. Bloody hell, could he have been any more subtle? Severus looked to Hermione, trying to tell her to stay put. But why would she listen? She hadn't even met him yet. Not really. Ah, time. . . What a fickle bitch.
He stared down at her barely functioning body. Why did the mutt have to go and get himself killed? No wonder she was so distraught the day she left to return. She knew he was already gone. Severus resolved to stay with her until she awoke. Hard-ass-deatheater-reputation be damned.
Severus Snape didn't have much time to think about Hermione Granger that following year with both his Masters asking far too much of him. But he would be damned if he allowed her to get hurt. He knew she would be pissed, but oh well. At least the lock should hold for a while. But now, it was time to go kill Dumbledore.
Stealing a dragon? After breaking into Gringotts? Could she have been any more of a bloody Gryffindor?
Severus Snape was nervous, despite keeping the solid, cold mask of a Deatheater firmly on his face. The Dark Lord claimed that this battle was going to be the end. But how could that be so if she hadn't even left yet? She had said she didn't know who would win. Surely, this could not be the end; unless, this was it. Was Hermione Granger running around somewhere with a time-turner around her neck, battling Deatheaters, just waiting to be hit with that fateful curse. Was she to be sent back to the beginning, to where it all started, at the end? It was possible. Granted, it was rather dramatic, but fate usually always was. He tried not to worry about the logistics. Hermione Granger would go back, simply because she has always gone back.
The snake. She had said something about the snake. But what? Severus couldn't seem to remember. All he felt was a numbing cold, spreading all throughout his body, running through his veins. And then she was there. She was standing there but no, she wasn't. It wasn't her, not yet anyway. He felt tears run down his face because God, he just wanted it to be her.
Severus shivered. "Take them. Please."
"Hermione, a vial," he heard Potter say.
No, no not Hermione. Please. He just wanted her.
He felt the warm glass touch his face, and he was in agony. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. She didn't deserve to lose them both.
She had made him promise. She made him promise that he would live – that he would survive. She made him promise to fight like hell. How could she have done that to him? Why would she make him promise something he could not keep? It wasn't fair.
She said something about the snake.
Surely, he must have been ice by now, frozen solid. Of course, he would die as ice when she burnt like fire.
"Do it for Lily," she had told him. She made him swear he would do it for Lily. And so he did. He did it for Lily, but he would have done it for her too.
Severus took a shallow breath, and his lungs burned. "Look at me," he said.
And so she did.
And everything went black.