Joanna Baratheon, a girl of ten, had never dreamed of wearing a crown until it was placed on her head. She was forced out of her mourning clothes to don an extravagant gown of crimson and gold with a velvet cape that weighed down her shoulders considerably. She would have flung off the tiara and screamed for Tommen if she had any strength left. Instead, she remained silent and dazed throughout the whole ceremony because the weight of the world was quite literally placed on her back.
As the weeks passed, the pain of losing Tommen subsided slightly and she didn't have to sit prettily on the iron throne for official engagements. Her mother had stepped up as Regent, and she had named Uncle Jaime her Hand, even though he protested against it. For the most part, everything had gone back to normal.
Being Queen did have its perks, however. She had heard rumors that her Uncle Tyrion had snuck into the castle to negotiate a truce between them and the Dragon Queen. It had been years, but she remembered that she loved him and he always tried to make her laugh. She wondered if she had grown taller than him, and if he would recognize her. She would accept his offer to meet even if it upset her mother, for even she knew that their lives were worth more than a silver crown and the Red Keep.
"The Queen Regent doesn't want to be disturbed, your grace," Qyburn said as he stood outside Cersei's door, hoping the child would go away. However, the young Queen would not be persuaded. She swiftly brushed him aside and snuck inside the door before he could block it. She was the Queen after all, even if people were more inclined to treat her mother as the reigning monarch.
She saw her mother further down the room holding onto a man, and her blood ran cold when they both noticed her arrival in the room. It was her Uncle Jaime who turned to stare at her with a bit of guilt and sadness. He had been that way since coming home with Myrcella's body, and even worse since Tommen died. However, he looked a bit happier, which hopefully meant good news. Her racing heart stopped it's relentless hammering as she looked into his shining eyes.
"Come here my love," Cersei murmured letting go of her brother and held out her hand to her daughter. Joanna felt herself walk towards her mother as she sat down on her chaise lounge. Cersei held her arms out expectantly waiting for her to crawl onto her lap, and the girl complied. Even though Joanna was small, she didn't want to be held and coddled like a babe. She had long since traded her dolls for books, now spending her time learning the womanly arts and focusing on her lessons. However, she knew there would be consequences if she didn't fall lovingly into her mother's awaiting embrace. "I have something to tell you." Cersei said, glancing at Jaime before meeting her daughter's curious eyes. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears as well.
" I-I already know." Joanna sighed thinking of her mother's twin as Cersei caressed her cheek with one hand and stroked her long, pale golden hair with the other. She had heard the rumors and knew Uncle Jaime had taken up residence in her mother's bedchamber. Sometimes, when he would leave the room he would catch her as she tried to listen to what they were doing and wait until her guards and nannies would collect her. He had yelled at her each time for running off without anyone, and it frightened her for he had never raised his voice to her before. But he also tried to make her laugh and had tucked her into bed on several occasions. She had even taught him to braid her hair, which he had failed miserably at due to having only one good hand, but she had worn it all day despite the smirks and offers to fix it from the servants.
Cersei narrowed her eyes and Joanna's thoughts turned to the rumored appearance of her other uncle. As she didn't want the atmosphere to become tense, she refrained from mentioning Jaime. However, she didn't think either one of them would almost cry over her other uncle's proposition. "I heard that Uncle Tyrion was here and that he wants me to meet with Daenerys. I will listen to what they have to say, so we can come to a truce."
Cersei's eyes flashed with rage, and she had half the mind to slap the poor girl, who seemingly thought she was going to make the world a better place by dealing with her enemies with pretty words instead of violence. That was what had made Tommen weak and had inevitably gotten both Myrcella and Tommen killed. However, she softened her face and ignored the comment. After all, meeting with the Dragon Queen could ensure the safety of her children. "No, I have some good news to tell you." Her hand left Joanna's hair and went to her belly. "You are going to be a big sister."
Joanna couldn't find any words as she helplessly looked from her mother to her Uncle Jaime waiting for one of them to tell her it was a jape. She didn't remember Myrcella hardly at all, since she had been barely three when her sister left for Dorne. Myrcella's lifeless corpse in the Sept of Baelor was the only proof other than a few old portraits that she had a sister once. She had memories of Joffrey, but none of them had any meaning for he never acknowledged her existence except for the times when he would force her to sit on his lap and sing lullabies to impress Lady Margaery (and perhaps it was better that way because she wasn't particularly fond of either of them). She missed Tommen more than words could ever describe, and a new sibling could never replace him. Surely it was a lie.
"I just want Tommen," Joanna cried as tears clouded her vision. She jumped up from Cersei and let the sobs rack her body. Cersei tried to grab her arm as she turned to leave, but Jaime held her back.
"Give her some time." He whispered as his sister stared at the place where their daughter had stood moments before. He wrapped his arm around her waist as she sank into him. It wasn't Joanna's fault that it had been only her and Tommen for a good portion of her life, and then her alone after his death. Perhaps had the world been different, Myrcella would have been Queen instead of Tommen coming into the throne. Then their baby lioness would have never had to deal with such loss and difficult decisions.
...
"Joanna?" Jaime called stepping into the Queen's room. The servant girl who had been tucking the young girl into bed stood up and curtsied before leaving the room. Joanna didn't look at him as he sat on the side of her bed and waited for her to speak. She looked so much like Cersei, and it made him smile, even if she was blatantly ignoring him. "I remember when my mother had told Cersei and I that we were going to have a younger sibling. I could never picture anyone else besides the two of us." She still continued to stare at the ceiling as he sat down on the side of the bed. "Would you like me to leave, your grace?"
She stared at his golden Hand pin for a moment before speaking, "It doesn't matter. Ever since you brought home Myrcella, you rarely listen to me anyway. I know you aren't going to leave. I suppose you have to talk sense into me, since you're my Hand." She smiled meekly as she gazed into his matching emerald eyes. "I don't want to have another sibling just so Mother can replace my brother."
"We are not trying to replace Tommen. Sometimes good things happen, and we must cherish them before they slip away." He said as his thumb caressed her cheek. Perhaps, if the Sept of Baelor hadn't been blown to bits, he would have prayed to the Mother to protect Cersei, Joanna, and his unborn child. Perhaps he should have prayed for Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen long before they were nothing but ash.
"You said we," Joanna murmured. Jaime looked guilty, and now was as good a time as any to confront him. "I know about you and Mother. I know that you love her." She fidgeted with her hands as he figured out how he wanted to proceed with the conversation. "Her husband is long dead, yet she is having a baby."
"It's complicated," he responded looking over the side of the bed. "You wouldn't understand." He only wanted to protect his last remaining child, and if lying and defying her orders would keep her safe and happy, he would continue to do so. Even though it hurt, she was safer not knowing the truth.
Joanna was too young to remember when Ned Stark claimed that Jaime Lannister fathered all of them, but the rumors still lingered at court even now. Perhaps, it was easier to believe that Jaime was actually her father because she hadn't truly known the late King. She had spent a great deal of time in the library reading anything she could get her hands on, and she knew what forbidden love was like from the stories. She had noticed her mother and Jaime's lingering stares and how he would follow after Cersei when she was in a mood long before her siblings were dead.
She grabbed his golden hand and smiled at him. His heart rate quickened at her gesture of love, but it scared him to no avail, "I do. I know. I don't understand because I never loved Tommen the way you love Mother, but it's okay. I know that you are my father. Even if you and mother want to pretend that I'm a baby, I am not blind." She flung her arms around him and he numbly embraced her, the memories of Myrcella dying in his arms replayed in his mind. But this time was different because Joanna was safe, and they were home. She pulled back for a moment and smiled even though he didn't want to meet her gaze. "I don't remember Robert Baratheon, and I have always loved you."
She put her head on his shoulder, and Jaime didn't want to let her go as he brushed his lips against her pale hair. He had wanted nothing to do with Joffrey until it was too late, he hadn't truly thought of Myrcella's safety until she was gone, and Tommen was beyond saving by the time he realized what their baby boy had succumbed to. Joanna was the only child he had done right by for the most part by not completely ignoring her, and he was still trying to make up for lost time.
"Do you think that Uncle Tyrion will be excited to see me?" Joanna questioned, feeling more content than she had been since Tommen's death. A part of her had always known the truth. Being the fourth child, she craved the extra attention that was only reserved for Joffrey and later Tommen by default; it was nice to feel safe and loved in his arms.
"Yes," Jaime replied without any hesitation. Tyrion had always been fond of the three younger children, even when Jaime felt nothing more than familial duty. Tyrion had mentioned that Daenerys expected the Queen, and he looked forward to seeing her. It was more so warning him that the Dragon Queen wanted to negotiate with Joanna, rather than Cersei only. He didn't know how well it would work out anyway, since everything was going to be rehearsed.
"Do you think Daenerys really has dragons?" Her eyes lit up at the prospect of seeing one despite the fact that the dragons belonged to her enemy. Tommen had always told her not to believe in such nonsense, but she knew in her heart that one day she would see a living dragon. Jaime looked at her darkly, hoping that the plans to kill them were coming along. Her grin faltered as she noticed he was not as excited as she was. Of course Daenerys had dragons; he was nearly roasted alive, but they didn't release that information to her of course. "I still want to see them."
"I'm sure everyone in the Seven Kingdoms wants to see them," he responded. "It doesn't make them any less fearsome or easier to defeat."
She secretly didn't want them to be defeated. She was almost flattered at the fact that Daenerys was bringing them specifically to see her.
"Then I'll ask for Casterly Rock to remain untouched," she said quietly realizing it was foolish for her to ask for a dragon, as the Dragon Queen would never comply. Instead, she hoped that the Unsullied hadn't completely ruined the castle. It was Jaime's by right now that he wasn't apart of the Queensguard, and in the Red Keep they could never truly be a family. She wanted to go where they could live out their days in a secluded castle by the western sea. Joanna had never been there, but she already thought of it as home. She almost had half the mind to let Daenerys have the crown without any negotiation, but she could never go through with it due to her mother's wrath.
"You will do exactly what you are told." Jaime said, knowing how precarious the situation was. They couldn't show weakness by disagreeing with each other during the meeting. Much to his chagrin, Cersei was already making arrangements to get a whipping boy in order to scare Joanna into complacency. Unfortunately, it may be necessary.
"Don't you want to go home?" She questioned, frowning. She had expected him to be at least mildly excited at the prospect or touched by the fact that she could negotiate to get his childhood home back from their enemies.
"All the time," he said thinking of how he would jump off the cliffs into the ocean as Cersei screamed for him to stop. Had it been acceptable to marry Cersei, he wondered which one of his children would have done the same; Myrcella was always the boldest, even if she came off as timid some of the time. He imagined Tommen would have been the one who cried. Perhaps, there would have been other golden haired children frolicking around as well.
"Then why not let Daenerys be Queen? You could be Warden of the West, and we would be able to go home."
"You are the Queen, Joanna. The Red Keep is your home as it is mine," Jaime snapped, not wanting to hear any more talk of Joanna stepping down. Cersei would whip the whipping boy until he was nearly dead if she talked about giving up the crown, and he didn't want the light to be snuffed out of her so soon.
Joanna didn't understand why her mother and Jaime thought they had a chance. She had heard what the dragon and the Dothraki had done to the Lannister soldiers. She knew that Daenerys could take the city any time if she wanted to. Daenerys was giving them a chance to walk away; they just had to be brave enough to take it, or else she feared that they would be met with fire and blood. "Home is where your family is, and we will never be a proper family here. You don't have to lie, we will never win the War, and we have the opportunity to leave before we are killed."
"You will speak no more of this," even though he knew she was right. Varys had always said wisdom came from the mouths of babes. If only Cersei would notice the same.
Joanna's lip trembled in anger, "I can speak whatever I want. You are only the Hand."
And he wanted to tell her that she was just a child. A child who was wiser in the matter of politics than he and Cersei seemed to be at the moment, but a child who should not talk back nonetheless. He was under her as the Hand, and he was not recognized as her father, so he said nothing. He was tired of doing nothing, but that is what he chose long ago.
Instead he stood up and bowed his head, "Good night, your grace," for it wasn't his place to chastise her rude behavior.
After Jaime had closed her door, the little Queen softly cried herself to sleep and dreamt of a dragon and a far away castle by the sea.
...
Cersei begged Jaime to give her one more child, hoping the witch's prophecy wouldn't come true. She had never been more devastated than when Joffrey had taken his last breath. Her first born was dead, her darling girl was dead, and her baby boy was dead- all with golden crowns and golden shrouds. Joanna was supposed to save them. Now, she only hoped that Joanna and her unborn child were exempt from the prophecy.
She flinched while Joanna cried as a guard whipped the slave she had bought after her daughter failed to memorize yet another scenario of the meeting with the Dragon Queen. Jaime had his fist clenched, and she almost wanted to send the boy away. But they didn't have much time until the great meeting would commence and everything had to go according to plan.
Like Myrcella, Joanna was too good and pure. She didn't know how she managed to give birth to three of the sweetest children when she was a monster. Perhaps, the saying about the Targaryens were right; the gods flipped a coin to see if one was either born mad or great. She hoped the next would beat the odds as well.
"If any of them tells you that they will not accept our terms, what will you say?" Cersei questioned, signaling the guard to put down the whip. Even she couldn't take it anymore.
"I-I will tell them that there's nothing left to discuss," Joanna said, refusing to bring her hands off her face.
"Your grace," Qyburn said to Cersei as the poor little girl cried softly into her hands, "I think it's enough for today." Cersei glared at him, but Jaime wasted no time and nearly dragged her out of the room. He was glad that Qyburn had a heart in there somewhere.
"Why are you and mother doing this?" Joanna questioned as she sobbed. "It's terrible and he didn't do anything wrong." She didn't think the boy should be punished for her failures.
It was cruel, but he decided to say it anyway, "You would let the people who murdered your brothers and sister take your crown. Do you think it pained them as Joffrey turned purple because he couldn't breathe? Do you think they mourned for Myrcella as she bled out? Did they cry for Tommen as his body lied mangled in the street? No." He sighed as he took in her pained expression. He crouched down and cupped her cheek with his good hand. "Our enemies want to talk to a scared child who will do what they want. Show us that they will be talking to the Queen of the Seven kingdoms, and that boy will never be whipped again. Can you do that for us?"
She rubbed her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand, as determination coursed through her veins. Perhaps, they did have a chance to beat Daenerys, and she was being selfish for wanting to leave to go to Casterly Rock. She didn't want to be a scared little girl any longer; she wanted to make her parents proud.
"I will," she said as Jaime grinned. They hadn't been on the greatest of terms since he had suddenly left her room, and she was glad that he wasn't mad any longer.
"Show them what Lannisters are." He said as they walked hand in hand back to her chambers. She frowned, for she would never have the Lannister name.
Author's Note: I've always thought it was interesting that Cersei didn't actively try to get away from the witch's prophecy by having more kids than just three. I wanted to get this out before April, so I have finally decided to post this after it being on my laptop for over a year. Let me know what you think! Also, I really wanted Jaime to have a longer relationship with one of his children, so that's why it happened so fast.