I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I'll know how it turned out--Nora Ephron

Johnny Depp. Orlando Bloom. Di Caprio before the beard. All names a female under 35 has heard of. But they are unattainable creatures and, to our discouragement, go for the "hot chick with the boobs". So after long, hard years of my life, I grew to accept this. I stopped drooling on my laptop of a Keith Harkin picture and finally set myself straight. As for my friends, it was too late for them.

I know, why be so practical? 'Cuz I thought that's how life should be. Right?

Until one day when my friend, Kate, called me to scream in my ear that the Jonas Brothers were coming to our town to perform. Fabulous. Someone I will never meet will come to entertain me. Of course I would have to pay for him. See where I'm going with this?

It's not love.

I calmly told her she should wake up because she already spent enough time dreaming and hung up. Really? Is she that boycrazy that she thinks she has a chance with a famous Disney band? Well, yeah, for 70 dollars each audiance member.

I walked over to my computer, bugged that it was raining rocks on my window. Hmmm, where to go?

" How about a little Jonas Brothers Myspace, eh?" I said to myself.

I find their official Myspace on Kate's top eight and clicked it. I scrolled down to see that she was wrong. They weren't going to perform at this town for another six months. Gosh, Kate's such a moth.

CRASH! The storm outside got worse.

I flipped my hair to the window, " Lighten up, will ya?"

RUMMMBLE. Went my tummy. I was too distracted to feed it because I was watching a movie on Jonas's Official Myspace about an English public toilet... or sink. Whatever it was, they drank from it.

"Idiots." I chuckled to myself, finally remembering that it was a butt cleaner.

I know I shouldn't be so close to the computer but my hazel doe eyes couldn't help it. After the video ended, I wanted to see another video that talked about Joe's driving lessons. Whoever Joe was didn't bother me at all, just knowing that both of us were without liscense caught my attention. I clicked on the clip to play but an ad popped up about medieval aliens and for me to fill out a survey about how i would like my corn and that's when the screen went black.

Confused, I looked around for any other problems but the keyboard was still on and everything.

" What the-?" I said. Finally giving up, after ten seconds of ambition which turned to anger, I struck random keys with way too much force.

" Evil computer!" I said, pressuring the "Esc" or "escape" button, your choice.

A light blue, almost white, bolt shot out of the computer and blinded me, paralyzing my body and burning the ends of my hairs. I could hear it sizzle away along with my cotton pajamas. I felt like a fried prune.

Finally, in that same second it stopped. I was really cold and not as hot as I thought I would be. I lifted my head, rubbing it with the back of my hand. The seat under me was stiff and bare, unreconizable. My soft rolly chair was gone. I opened my left eye first, then my right. My jaw dropped.

I was in a 1400's royal castle, adorned with the poetic renaissance of their society. Everything was angelic, Roman, and by God- is that frillyness? The room was a bedroom with a pretty chair of pinkish design and a huge mirror. The bed was the center of attention, seeing as how it hogged up most of the room with it's stairs. It. It has stairs. And a canopy made of... what is that? I walked over to feel the white mesh hanging from the golded rods of the canopy bed but froze. My feet were ice cold. I looked down to see that I was still dressed in my, well, used to be, pajamas.

The blue cotton pants were now whorts with a black sringe at the ends and same went to my... uh... bikini top? I felt like a prostitute. I didn't care who's bedroom I was in or what was going on but I wanted to cover it up RIGHT NOW. I tore the really heavy white blankets, stuffed with cotton, and threw it over me like a cloak.

I walked over to the hugs mirror on the desk thing with it's weird perfumes that had the balloon coming out of the ends of it.

" I'm sorta like Cousin It." I said to my blanket reflection. Why am I talking to myself? I laughed at the mirror. Then froze again. This time it wasn't because of my feet. It was my hair.

My mid-redish brownish blondish hair was gone. Insted, I had black frizzy short hair. I wimpered and grabbed at it. It was like dry hay.

Before I could think, I dropped the blanket and pulled open every drawer and pushing every nasty glass container onto the floor, hastely looking for a straightner. I passed quick glances at my reflection to see if my hair was still there.

" What are you doing?" said a mystery person from the entry way.

" Damn." I whispered, and slowly turned around. Before I could see the person- or their reflection- they gasped.

" You don't have anything on!" Mystery Male, as his name for now, said. " I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

I finally turned all the way around to see Joe Jonas dressed in some kind of noble Renaissance costume, holding both hands over his eyes. Stiff as a stubborn tree.

I quickly grabbed for the blanket and threw it all over me.

" I'm sorry if you've never seen a half naked girl." I said, trying to sound dull but in reality I was confused, scared, and embarressed. " Someone like you would have at least stumbled on one porn site."

An eyebrow of his shot up, " What?"

I was done covering myself, " I'm just glad you don't speak Renaissance English. So, uh, why am I here?"

" You're the new maid." He said, bringing down his hands. " I'm uh-"

"- Joe Jonas." I said for him. " Or... Nick. Steve?"

" Steve?"

"Steve."

"Um... no." He said, slowly shaking his head. "Actually, I was going to say 'I'm Sorry'. I didn't knock and all and... um.."

He pointed at the broken glass on the floor, " What were you doing?"

I looked over at the vanity mirror and back at Handsome Mystery Man. " Cleaning."

" Oh." He nodded, rocking on his shoes. "So um... I'm Joe."

"Amanda."

"Hi Amanda."

"Hi Joe."

"Enjoying you're stay so far?"

"It... has it's moments."

"Cool, cool."

"Yeah. So... I'll get changed."

"Oh. Okay."

Before he could leave the room, I eyed a wierd vase thing made of string.

"Um, Joe."

"Yeah?"

I picked it up, "What's this?"

"Underwear."

I dropped it,"Yikes."

He walked over to me and sighed deeply.

"You." he said.

"Yeah?"

"Are gonna need help."

As ridiculous as I may have looked, I don't let anyone imply that I'm and idiot, even is it's true.

"Look." I started. "I didn't know I'd be thrown into the past with the Jonas Brothers, ok?"

"The past?" he questioned.

I looked around, flaying my arms in the air, "Duhuh! Where are we now? Obviously not at my computer!"

"Wait, wait. Hold on."He rubbed his chin and then spoke again. "So you're telling me that you think you're in the 1500's or something?"

"1400's but that's close enough."I said."Why?"

He sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. For some odd reason, because he's hot, my heart excellerated.

"Look, Amanda," he said, "You're not in the 1400's. You're on a studio where we're filming a commercial. See?"

He pointed up and I followed his forefinger to see the room was being lit by stagelights. I brought my head back down slowly.

"Oh." I said, completely embarressed again. "So, uh, we're not in the past?"

"Nope." he said. "We're in a fake bedroom. On stage."

I didn't want to image the number of people laughing at me through the security cameras right now. Or who saw what when I was still prancing around in my half naked pajamas.

"So... uh..."

"Don't worry." Joe smiled, regaining posture. "No one saw you."

"Thank God!" I said.

His eyebrow went up again, "But if you're not the maid, then... what are doing here?"

"Well, you see," I started," During a storm, my computer crashed and I struck the keyboards out of anger, and then I was hit by a bolt of lightning-"

"-Um, oh." He said, hiding a chuckled with a loose cough."That's... interesting."

"You don't believe me!" I shouted.

"Of course I don't believe you. I met you in a bikini on a studio while you spazzed out because you thought you were in the 1400's and that my name was Steve." he explained.

" Fair enough." I said. I didn't want to argue while in a white blanket. Right now, I'm like the anciet Greek that never was.

"So, where do you live?" He asked.

I played with the end of the blanket, "Miami."

He stopped in a frozen gesture. Being frozen is appartenly the new "It".

"Miami?" he asked.

"That's what I said."

"You mean the place that was hit by a storm that killed someone last week?" he asked.

"There wasn't a storm that killed anyone last week." I told him.

" No no no no no." he rephrased it. "A girl, Amanda something, was found dead after a storm and they still haven't found the clues why but it delt with electrical stuff and math and I'm not good in math so I stopped watching the Miami news. That's why we canceled our plans to perform there. We're thoughtful like that."

"But you guys won't perform there for another six months." I corrected.

He shook his head a bit, "No, that was a typo on our Myspace. We're too lazy to fix it. We posted a bulletin and there was this one superfan, Kate, that wouldn't stop messaging us so we were going to delete her but it seems that Amanda was Kate's best friend and everyone mourned because you were popular or something and-"

"-Popular?" I smiled. "Me?" Then it sunk in. "I DIED?!"

furfiadz: i don't own anything recoginzable. i would really like it if my friend wrote the rest. i was bored, really. no i do not like the jonas brothers the way every girl under 17 likes them. they would make awesome friends, though.

myspace is not mine because i'm stupid and didn't think about making a site where you can chat with your friends but i guess the cellphone isn't what it used to be.

i don't own anything or anyone you recognize. unfortunately that includes keith harkin, johnny depp, orlando bloom, and joe jonas. i can't own them because there is no such thing as slavery, plus i'm poor.

i don't know if i'll continue this story because i still have to finish the other stories my friend and i started.

i want to be a princess. shut up, you do too.