By: Matt Taylor
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and make no money from their use.
Notes: This is my own parody/humor fic about some of the common clichés found in Raven's fanfiction. I don't know how well I did, as this is my first real attempt at humor, do be merciful.
It was yet another normal day at Titans Tower.
Robin and Cyborg were sitting on the couch, playing Eternal Fighter of the Ultimate Championship '04 Platinum edition.
Starfire was in the kitchen, vainly trying to prepare an edible lunch.
Beastboy was doing something a little different, instead of being glued to a TV, or reading comics, or trying to make everyone else eat tofu, he was glued to what looked like a large stack of papers, reading what was written with great interest.
Raven was at the doorway, talking to one of her siblings.
"But Raven! I'm your long lost sibling!" The man at the door said.
"Look! I got five of you here yesterday, claiming that. You're the 58th one of those I've met since I took this job, now get lost!" She said, slamming the door in his face. Raven turned around and stomped from the room.
"What seems to be the problem with Friend Raven?" Starfire asked, holding up a bowl of a strange greenish substance.
"Nother one of her long lost siblings showed up." Robin mumbled.
"Hey! Robbie." Cyborg asked.
"Hhmm?"
"Since we are Raven's friends, Shouldn't we, you know, try to help her?" He asked.
"Are you crazy? This is fanfiction, you and I don't even have roles in this story." Robin said.
"True dat." Cyborg said, turning back to the game.
"According to this script, I'm supposed to go up there and do something." Beast Boy said. "And also…ooh la la, take a look at this later part of the script."
Beast Boy began to chuckle.
"Do not worry yourself friend Beast Boy, I will go up and speak to friend Raven." Starfire said, handing Beast boy the bowl.
"But that's not part of the script!" he said, waving it around, as she walked away. Beast Boy put down the script, and took a whiff from the bowl, quickly he dropped it, and went to find a bathroom.
'KNOCK KNOCK'
"Friend Raven! Are you alright?" Raven got up from her meditative position, and let Starfire in.
"Are you alright, Friend Raven? You seemed to be quite upset when you slammed the door into your new brother's face." She asked.
"Look, I'm just getting sick of it is all. Ever since we signed on for Fanfiction, its "lost brother this" or "lost sister" that. You'd think these people would try something else for once." She said, pacing around before returning to her meditation spot.
"Well, they don't always do this friend Raven, there's also…" Raven stopped her quickly with a look.
"Look Star, you and I are friends now and all, but if you mention Beast Boy just once, you don't want to know what I'll do." She said, scowling. Starfire paled and shut up.
All of a sudden there was a knocking sound at the door.
"Would you go see who that is?" Raven asked. Starfire got up and went to the door. There standing outside was Beast Boy, shirtless, and holding his pants up with one hand.
"Hey, Star! Is Rae in? According to the script it's time for a "special scene." He said, chuckling.
"How do you mean, "special" friend Beast boy?" She asked. Beast Boy used his free hand to pick up the script.
"Well, first I'm supposed to put my arm around her, and do some kind of sensitive stuff. Then we'll have a nice emotional bonding moment, then we get down to banging each other." He said, grinning salaciously at the last statement.
"Intriguing." She said. Wait here one moment. Starfire closed the door and went over to Raven.
"Pardon me friend Raven, But I have a question."
"Yeah?"
"Why would you and friend Beast Boy wish to hit each other?" She asked, innocently.
"What?" Raven said, turning around. Starfire quickly told Raven what Beast Boy had said, and she sighed.
"Wait here one moment." Raven said, getting up and heading for the door. She opened and Beast Boy was still there, grinning seductively (at least he thought it was seductive).
"Hey Rae, do you need any help?" he asked.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos."
Beats Boy went plummeting down the hallway, surrounded in black light. Eventually he crashed into, and then through a window.
"I'll come back laterrrrrrr!" He said as he plummeted down. Soon there was a light crashing sound coming from the broken window.
"Oh man I fell on my keys." Came his voice from below. Raven humphed and closed the door.
"That felt good." She said, sitting in front of her crystal ball. "You want to help me with my crystal?"
"Definitely." Starfire said, getting up from her chair and sitting across from Raven on the floor. "Perhaps, friend Raven, you would like to accompany me to the mall later?"
"Why not. That new black cloak I saw at Hot Topic looks real nice right now." She said.
"Excellent." Soon both of them were concentrating on Raven's crystal ball.
"I'm getting something," Raven said, "yes it's very close."
Soon enough both of them were staring into an image in the crystal.
"Friend Raven, is that not our rec room, downstairs?" Star asked.
"Yep, and that would be Robin."
Robin was in the middle of a large crowd of people, all talking loudly.
"Quiet!" He yelled. "Will all of Raven's lost siblings please wait in the guest wing!" He said, pointing to the entrance to the guest area. With that, the large crowd of people went towards it.
Raven looked at her friend.
"On second thought Star, can we wait awhile to go to the mall? I feel like staying up here for awhile longer."
"Of course Friend Raven."
THE END.