A/N: I decided to make this a sequel instead of a second chapter, since it deals with Penny the theoretical scientist and Penny the girl dating Sheldon, instead of Penny and Sheldon the spies.
The following morning, around lunchtime, Leonard came stumbling out of his room, holding his head, grumbling about not remembering a single thing that had happened after yesterday morning, to find Sheldon and Penny sitting on the couch together, eating lunch and watching The Princess Bride. As Penny set down her plate on the coffee table, she leaned her head on Sheldon's shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"Since when do you let Penny touch you?" Leonard grumbled as he grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge, and headed to the cabinet in search of some pain meds. If Penny was in anguish about something, which was the only explanation for why she'd be so close to Sheldon and why he'd let her be that close, it was his job as her obvious future husband to console her. But with his hangover, he wasn't really in the mood to do so. Also, she seemed to be too content to be in anguish, but with his brain pounding to get out of his head, his cognitive processes weren't firing on all cylinders at the moment, so he brushed it off.
"Since we started dating," replied Sheldon, before taking a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.
"Since you what!?" he shouted in shock, sure he had misunderstood what his asexual roommate had said, and immediately regretting yelling, as it did nothing good for his headache.
"Since we started dating," Sheldon replied calmly. "I understand you have a hangover, but typically those increase your sensitivity to sound, not decrease. Or so I have read, having never been hungover myself."
"Well, everything sounds louder," corrected Penny, "but an increased sensitivity to all sounds, combined with a splitting headache, can result in an increased difficulty of understanding verbal communications."
"Oh. My apologies then," replied Sheldon, looking at Penny.
"You two are dating? You two? Sheldon Cooper, asexual robot, and Penny, big ol' five?"
"I do believe that's what the phrase 'we started dating' usually means," replied Sheldon, returning his attention to the movie.
"When did this happen? And how could you go behind my back and steal my girl from me?"
Finally reaching over to the coffee table and grabbing the remote, Sheldon took his time hitting the pause button, before slowly and deliberately turning and facing his roommate.
"We went on our first date yesterday evening. When we told you before we left that we were going out on a date together, you made the same arguments of possession based on first ocular perception that you are attempting to make again now. When we both told you, in no uncertain, but slightly less direct, terms that slavery is now illegal, you stormed out of the apartment spewing insults and claims of unwritten rules involving male comradeship before women who sell their bodies for money. It was why you went out club hopping in the first place last night, resulting in the hangover you are currently nursing, because 'bros before hos', as it is referred to by today's urban youth, is apparently somehow equivalent to going out as a group of guys to try pick up separate females to have coitus with, and upon failing, getting completely wasted. Seriously, can you not remember anything that happened yesterday?"
And…Condescending Sheldon is officially back, Penny thought to herself with a smile.
That evening, Howard and Raj came over for routine Sunday night Italian and classic video game night. They were playing Super Mario Kart, but as Leonard, Howard and Raj were all still nursing minor hangovers, it was quickly becoming a worse trouncing than normal. So it was to a bunch of already irritable scientists that Penny said she had an announcement to make.
"First off, since none of you seem to remember anything about yesterday, Sheldon and I are dating, and telling you guys last night that we were headed out on a date is what caused Leonard to decide to go bar hopping in the first place, dragging you two with him."
She quickly continued on before Leonard could start vehemently complaining about her and Sheldon's new relationship status. "But what I actually wanted to tell you guys was that starting tomorrow morning, I will be joining Sheldon in the Theoretical Physics department as the second resident String Theory Scientist at Cal-Tech. The past year and a half of being a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory was part of a long-term physics research project using the Cheesecake Factory as a base, and to get unbiased results, I had to be perceived as the typical dumb-blonde aspiring-actress waitress and couldn't tell anyone about my project. But that project is now complete, so I'm moving back into my original field of theoretical physics. Dr. Gablehauser is giving us the empty dual office at the corner of the building, office 2228."
The three guys just stared at her, mouths hanging open, brains trying to comprehend what they had just heard.
"But as I don't expect any of you to take me at my word, you can come by our new office tomorrow morning, or I'm giving a presentation on hyper-symmetric strings in the 18th dimension at 14:00 tomorrow afternoon in Auditorium 7003. Leslie Winkle has already texted Sheldon that she will be there to, and I quote, 'hear Malibu Barbie try to give a speech on something other than makeup and hair products'."
After over a minute, during which Penny went to the bathroom, Sheldon made himself a cup of tea, and both had resettled onto the couch, Howard finally spoke.
"You two are dating?"
Sheldon rolled his eyes, and looked at Penny, saying, "That's what they got out of it."
At Howard's words, Leonard's shocked into silence brain was reshocked out of silence. "Of course they're not," he practically growled. "It's all just some bazinga Sheldon's trying to pull on us."
Raj whispered into Howard's ear. "Raj does have a point. If there's a bazinga here, it's far more likely to be Penny being a theoretical physicist, than the two of them dating. After all, Penny is the only one who's ever been able to control Sheldon to any extent, and Sheldon's never accommodated his lifestyle to include someone outside his normal circle before Penny. Although as far as circles go, I suppose we'll have to wait until tomorrow to see whether she's actually more in his circle than any of us could ever be."
"You're kidding right?! You're okay with Sheldon stealing Penny from me, assuming it's not all still some bazinga?"
"It's definitely not a bazinga," stated Penny disinterestedly from the couch, but it was drowned out by Leonard's continued ranting.
"Whatever happened to bros before hos? You know Penny is mine, just as Sheldon knew Penny was mine! Now you're going to start defending them?"
Sheldon leaned down to Penny and whispered in her ear, "Perhaps we could retire to your apartment?"
Penny nodded her head, and grabbing his hand, they exited the apartment. They could still hear Leonard's continuing rant, and the occasional calmer voice of Howard trying unsuccessfully to get a word in edgewise. When they got over to Penny's door, they realized Raj had followed them out.
"Going home?" asked Penny. Raj nodded his head, and then held up a finger asking them to give him a second while he pulled out his phone. A few seconds later he held it out to them, where they could read the note he had typed: Congratulations on the relationship, and best of luck to you. And I'll be at the presentation tomorrow. Might stop by your new office in the morning if I have time."
Sheldon nodded his head, and Penny leaned up to give Raj a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, and I look forward to seeing you there tomorrow."
A few minutes after entering Penny's apartment, Sheldon and Penny heard the door across the hall open. Then a knock on Penny's door, followed by, "It's me, Howard."
Penny opened the door. Howard looked at her apologetically, and said, "Sorry about Leonard. He's got this crazy idea that he won't let go of that the two of you are supposed to be together, but he'll eventually get over it. That being said, I don't recommend going back over there for a while. Have a good night, and I'll see you both tomorrow, at least at your lecture. That I have to hear for myself."
After closing the door, she turned and looked at Sheldon. "So, is Dr. OCD able to sleep in a bed that's not his own, without his Sunday pajamas?"
"Now I wouldn't be a very good spy if I couldn't adapt to changing situations, now would I?" he replied with a smirk.
The following morning, Penny was woken up by a hand tapping out an unknown rhythm on her stomach. And that hand was attached to an arm that was wrapped around her, and that arm was attached to the lanky physicist (and spy) lying behind her.
"What?" she mumbled, refusing to open her eyes.
"You have work this morning, you can't just sleep in all day."
She finally opened her eyes, and looked at the clock beside her bed; way too early. "Yes, but I don't need to get up this early. Go shower, and make me breakfast, and I'll be ready in time to leave for work."
Sheldon rolled his eyes as he rolled away from her and got up. Walking back to his apartment, he showered quickly before Leonard could get up, and then took a few ingredients over to Penny's apartment for breakfast. When he walked in, he could hear Penny's shower start, so he walked over to the kitchen to start breakfast. He figured pancakes sounded good.
Fifteen minutes later, Penny walked in, dressed and ready to go, just as Sheldon took the last of the pancakes out of the pan.
"Ooh, pancakes! So the rigid food schedule is just a cover?" she asked as she sat down and grabbed the cup of coffee he had sitting at her spot.
"Being OCD it's nice, but certainly not required. And if everything's strict and rigid, everyone's much more tolerant of it."
He sat down beside her and forked some pancakes off the plate onto his own plate. Penny followed, and they soon had all the pancakes gone.
"Damn, you're a good cook," Penny said as she swallowed her last bite.
Thirty minutes later Penny pulled into their parking spot at Cal-Tech. Sheldon's spot had sat empty for so many years, that Dr. Gablehauser had relabeled his parking spot sign to include Dr. Queen's name as well.
"So are you ever going to start driving here?" she asked him, as they got out of the car.
"Yeah, I've been thinking I should. If nothing else, so you don't have to drive me here every day. And you can use us dating as an excuse to make me learn how." As they started walking to the building, he added, "But I'm not driving the Ferrari."
"I agree. The lime-green Lambo is much more indiscreet," she replied with a straight face as they walked through the doors. Sheldon just shook his head.
"But seriously," she said a few minutes later as he opened the door to their new office and walked in, "there's gotta be something down there you'd be willing to bring up and drive to work."
Sheldon sat on the edge of the secretaries desk that had been pushed against the wall. "Well, there's the British Racing Green '69 Mustang Mach 1, that has the Shelby GT 500 engine in it. Mach 1's are still reasonably priced, thirty grand-ish."
"Ooh, yes, drive that one!"
Sheldon's future car being decided, they looked around their new office. The collaboration/waiting area when you first walked in spanned the width of both offices, and had plenty of depth to set up a plethora of whiteboards, along with the couple of chairs and desk, all leftover. Each of the two offices had wooden doors that opened into them. Quickly looking into both offices, Sheldon said, "Your's is the one on the right, it's the corner office with windows on both walls. This one is mine, with just the one window that I'll probably eventually board up.
Sometime Saturday or Sunday (after the dead body had been removed, of course), all of Sheldon's stuff had been moved over from his old office to this new one, and the basic necessities for Penny's office had been installed.
Later in the morning Raj stopped by for a few minutes. He of course wasn't able to talk with her present, so after showing him her boards and what she was working on, she'd gone back into her office for a few minutes to let him talk to Sheldon.
When he had left, Sheldon told her that Raj had said that Howard had been planning on coming by with him, but had gotten caught up in an experiment. They would both be at the lecture that afternoon, though.
At lunch time, Raj and Howard had joined Sheldon and Penny at their normal table, but Leonard was nowhere to be seen. Howard and Raj (or Raj through Howard) both said they hadn't seen Leonard all morning. They assumed he was holed up his lab, trying to plot the downfall of the universe.
When Penny finished her lecture later that afternoon, nearly every hand in the audience shot up. Not that there were that many people in the audience, between it having only been announced the day before, the topic not being understood by enough people to make it a worthwhile event to attend, and Penny's complete obscurity, but nearly every hand that was there went up. Leslie Winkle had of course shown up as promised, along with Raj and Howard, Dr. Gablehauser and President Siebert, and about half a dozen others Penny didn't know. The noticeable absentee was of course Sheldon's roommate.
Penny called on Leslie first, since she knew the other female theoretical physicist wanted to try to bring Malibue Barbie down with the toughest questions she could come up with. After the eighth question by Dr. Winkle, Dr. Gablehauser had expressly prohibited her from asking anymore questions, giving the other's a chance to ask their questions, and ending Leslie's interrogation. An hour later, Dr. Gablehauser stood up to bring the lecture to an end, and make everyone go back to their real jobs, though several hands were still waving in the air hoping to get in one last question.
As Penny walked off the stage, Sheldon walked up to her. "Decent speech, but very well done on the Q&A. Half the questions Leslie asked were practically unrelated to the subject, and you still answered them all with ease."
Penny beamed up at him, but before she could reply President Siebert and Dr. Gablehauser walked up to congratulate her. As Penny and Sheldon were walking back towards their office a few minutes later, Raj and Howard caught up to them and joined them.
"Impressive," said Howard, as Raj nodded his head in agreement. "Our cheesecake-scented goddess is smarter than all the rest of us. So which one of you two is smarter?"
Before Sheldon could say anything, Penny immediately responded, "Sheldon. He still has a couple IQ points on me."
Raj whispered in Howard's ear. "Raj wants to know, when you say a couple points, are you being hyperbolic, or literal?"
"185," answered Sheldon.
That evening, Penny and Sheldon were sitting on the couch when Howard and Raj entered, bearing Monday's supper.
"Where's Leonard?" asked Howard, looking around.
"I believe he's in his room hiding," answered Sheldon. "His car was in the parking lot when we got back, and his door is closed, but I haven't actually seen him."
"He's always been jealous of you, even before Penny moved in across the hall. Always trying to pull the grad school chicks away from you," Howard responded, pulling the food out of the bag.
An hour later, the four of them were all contentedly watching tv; they had settled on watching Serenity after an argument had broken out between Firefly and Castle. Raj was on the far end of the couch, and Howard was in Leonard's normal chair, while Sheldon and Penny sat in their respective spots, with Penny cuddled up into Sheldon's side, and Sheldon's arm draped around her shoulder. About halfway through the movie, both of their phones sounded text alarms at the same time. Checking their phones, they both said, "I have to take this," at the same. They nervously looked at each other for a second before glancing up at Howard and Raj, and then headed out the door.
The other two glanced at them briefly, before looking at each other and shrugging, returning their attention to the tv. Sheldon and Penny had been acting weird ever since they announced that they were dating and that Penny was really a theoretical scientist, and then there was the whole thing with getting completely hammered at a party none of them could really remember, but Penny and Sheldon weren't saying anything, and if Penny could make Sheldon a little more human, along with giving them more opportunities not to have to follow Sheldon's strict schedule, who were they to complain?
As they hurried down the stairs, Sheldon looked over at Penny and said, "Why did I agree to go on active duty again? This is going to get hard explaining to the guys why we keep disappearing."
"Oh, you know you've missed it. The thrill of the chase. Hunting down bad guys. Driving ridiculously loud, fast, ostentatious cars that totally don't stick out like a sore thumb and scream 'I'm a spy!'."
Chuckling, Sheldon replied, "I didn't say I didn't miss it, I was just pointing out the fact it's going to be hard explaining why we keep disappearing every time we have a mission. Speaking of which, want to drive? I saw you eyeing the keys as we left the restaurant Saturday evening."
She leaned up and gave him a peck on the lips before scampering off to the cars.
A/N: As far as I know, hyper-symmetric strings in the 18th dimension isn't a real thing. But then again, I'm not a string theorist, nor do I have an IQ of 187 (or 185), so I can't say for sure.