i do not own the hunger games
this story is set after the first book. Katniss and Peeta have returned home. A couple of months have passed.
Control
The sun gently rises above the trees as I sit on the smooth rock in one of the few places I feel at home. When Peeta and I returned from the games we each got a house in the Victor's Village. I no longer live in the little house in the Seam we used to call home.
It still doesn't feel right to me having heating and electricity while others are starving. We try our best and help those who are hungry, spreading our wealth across the district. It has been easier with all of the parcels being delivered now. It is almost worth all the pain of The Hunger Games to see all of children lighting up like a Christmas tree when they get food and sweets, more than they have seen in their lifetime.
The wind blows past me and I zip up my hunting jacket, thankful for something that the Capitol didn't get their hands on. The rock feels so much bigger without Gale sitting beside me. My heart tightens thinking about him. He came to see me when I got home. We went hunting and I described the Capitol to him and how strange the people looked. He didn't press me about the arena, for which I was grateful, but he did ask about Peeta. I don't know how I feel about Peeta. Of course I care about him but I am not sure if there is more. I told Gale everything about how much trouble we were in if everyone found out that me and Peeta aren't really in love. He responded the way I expected, ranting on about how cruel the Capitol is and how I should love whomever I choose and shouldn't have even be put in the Hunger Games. I let him get it all out. I am just glad to be back and to have my hunting partner again.
I don't need to hunt anymore but I help Gale. It took me a while to convince him but I finally made him realise that with him being in the mines he wouldn't have enough time anymore. Plus I love hunting and on Sundays it is the only time I get to spend with Gale.
Out of the corner of my eye I see a body coming to sit next to me. As always Gale is silent moving through the woods. I move over and give him more room. Since working in the mines his arms have become bigger from the work. I can only imagine the amount of girls lining up for him now. He yawns as he stretches out his arms.
"You're getting later each morning," I sigh as I take in the dark circle under his eyes. "You know you don't have to keep working in the mines anymore. I have more than enough money to support both our families". I shiver thinking about the dark creaking elevators he must go down on, only to be forced to work in dirty dangerous underground mines. Mines, where both our fathers were killed.
"I don't need your money Katniss. I can support my family on my own," he says as he gets up off the rock to start hunting and putting an end to this conversation. I give in knowing that he won't listen to me and follow him into the woods with my bow in hand.
We manage to catch a turkey, four squirrels and a rabbit. Gale decides that we have enough so make our way to the Hob to sell our meat. Usually we would spend most of the day in the woods but today he seems to want to cut it short. The Hob is where all the illegal trading goes on in District 12, in an abandoned building.
On our way we run into Madge, the mayor's daughter. I'm surprised seeing her down this part of the Seam. She is richer than most of us.
"Hi Madge. What are you doing down here?" I ask as we get close to her.
"Oh I ... um ... I was just em ... bringing medicine to Vick, I heard he was sick and I had spare medicine at home," she says while looking down at her shoes, rushing the words out. She peeks a sideways glance at Gale and I do too. Vick is Gale's youngest brother, he is only about 10 years old. This is very strange. Gale had always hated who Madge's family represented and how fortunate they were while others suffered. He was never friendly to her or spoke to her much. He only ever saw her at school or to sell strawberries to the mayor. I am sort of friends with Madge. We always end up paired together in school and we sit at lunch together. And now here she was helping his family.
"You didn't have to do that but thank you," Gale answers much more softly than necessary and gives a slight nod.
"It's fine. I better go. See you later Katniss. Bye Gale," she says quickly before hurrying off.
"Well that was weird," I say as soon as she had disappeared.
Gale only replies with a quiet mumble. I look up at him and I can see him staring off thinking about something.
"You never told me Vick was sick," I say while studying him and breaking the silence.
"I didn't want to worry you," he answers looking down at me with those deep grey eyes. I can't tell what is going through his head. "Anyway I don't want or need your help. I can fix it on my own," he adds. He was getting on my nerves. What is wrong with me helping him out a bit? Ever since I had returned we had never been fully back to the way things were. There is this distance between us now.
"You don't want my help but you will gladly take Madge's?" I question him, the hurt shown in my voice. "Since when were you two all buddy buddy? I thought you couldn't stand her!" I was beginning to shout. All the rage I kept hidden since I came home was coming forth. "What is going on with you?"
"Me? What about you?" he shouts back. "You have changed. They changed you. He changed you," he spits out the word 'he' like poison. Peeta and Gale have never been close but I always thought that they accepted each other. This conversation all of a sudden is getting very serious.
"Changed? Of course I'm changed! I had to fight for my life. And Peeta changed me for the better. He helped me!" I shout throwing my arms about. "He was always there for me," I whisper, tired of shouting. Gale stands silent beside me. I look up at him after a minute and am surprised to see his face full of hurt and anger.
He turns around suddenly and starts walking away from me. I almost didn't hear the words he whispered as he stalked away. "Unlike me". His words almost get lost in the wind but not before I hear them. I turn around and watch his back slowly getting farther away. I want to shout for him to stop, to tell him I am sorry but my throat dries up and I am unable to say anything.
Does he think that I don't need him? I have relied on him since I first ran into one of his snares in the woods. He has always been there for me.
I think back to one time where I was perched on a tree waiting for some game to pass. Gale had continually warned me that the branch would not be able to hold me for long but I didn't listen and told him to be quiet. Of course the branch snapped and I fell. My leg was hurt so I couldn't walk. Gale carried me all the way back to my mother – despite my protests. He was told that by carrying me it helped as it was only sprained but walking on it could have made it worse. I couldn't wipe the smug grin off his face. He went back to the woods that day and the next on his own and still split the game. He is always there for me. And I am for him.
I realise that I am still carrying his turkey and rabbit. I decide to go to the Hob to sell them off for him. Even though we are not exactly on good terms at the moment, I still want him to get the best possible price for fresh game.
I have a few jokes with Greasy Sae and a couple of the other merchants while trading. We all have come to rely on each other for trade. I still can't get the conversation with Gale out of my head. Does he think that I don't need him?
"Say where's that handsome cousin of yours' today? Normally he's here on a Sunday," says Conan, one of the regulars. "He usually would never miss one of Greasy Sae's Sunday specials," he says while giving Greasy Sae a wink. I almost forgot about the lie the Capitol fabricated while we were in the arena in order to not allow anyone to think that there might be something going on between Gale and I. Everyone said how much time we spent together so this lie was created saying that Gale was my 'cousin'. Most people have forgotten the truth already.
"Oh he is just tired," I quickly say, not wanting to explain to them that he doesn't want to be around me. "I should be going home now anyway. Prim and my mother will be wondering where I am," I say.
"Alright be careful," Greasy Sae says as she clears away bowls.
I walk slowly back through the district, my boots crunching on the thin layer of snow. I realise that I have Gale's money from the game I sold but decide against dropping it off at his house. I will tomorrow when he is in the mines and I am less likely to run into him. I wonder what his problem was today. Why does he think I changed? I will admit that we haven't been back to the way things were before the games but I'm still the same girl. And why was Madge down helping his brother Vick? I feel angry that he didn't tell me. I could have helped him. My mother even helps all of the sick in District 12. I am not the one who changed – he did. He is more distant and will not tell me everything like he used to. Maybe we need space from each other.
I look up and see the huge grand houses in Victor's Village. Two houses have lights on, giving a homely effect, while Haymitch's lies in darkness. I sigh knowing and understanding finally why he is a drunk. After being through The Hunger Games myself I now experience the sleepless nights and dark nightmares. The games never end. Haymitch uses drink as an escape. I can't blame him. I constantly wake up in a sweat expecting to see Rue's dying body beside me or Cato's face above me with a knife. I now understand that no one ever wins the games. Me and Peeta no longer have control over our own lives. We are puppets of the Capitol.
I open the door to my room and collapse onto my bed, the events of the day catching up.
"You're home early today," Prim says from the doorway. She eyes me suspiciously, taking in my exhaustion, confusion, hurt and everything else I'm feeling. "What's wrong?"
I give a small laugh. She always knows when something is bothering me. She is very good at reading people. Before I get to answer we hear the doorbell ring. I get up off the bed and walk past Prim down the stairs. I open the door to see Peeta standing there.
"Hi Peeta," I say stepping out of the way to let him come in out of the cold. "You are a bit late to be delivering bread, it's nearly bedtime," I joke. Every morning Peeta brings us a fresh batch of bread and in return we give him cheese from Prim's goat.
"No I was just here to tell you that Cinna and Portia will be coming over next week to prepare us for the Victory Tour," he says while looking at me with those deep blue eyes. I have been dreading this. The Victory Tour happens about six months after the end of the games. It consists of the winner travelling from district to district celebrating and reminding the districts what happens if people rebel – just another way for the Capitol to control its' victors and Districts.
"Okay," I sigh knowing that there is no way out if it and also knowing how Peeta and I will have to pretend to be 'love-sick love-birds'. I love seeing Cinna and talking to him. I would consider him a very good friend. It's just seeing him means that I will be seeing the Capitol, which I resent.
"Oh hello Peeta," my mother says coming out from the kitchen.
"Hello Ms Everdeen," Peeta says with a slight nod being polite as always.
"Are you staying for dinner?" she asks. Peeta looks at me with questioning eyes, asking me if I mind this. The last time we have acted in love was in the Capitol after the games. Now we just act like friends. Peeta knows that I do not feel the same way he feels about me. I always feel guilty knowing that I will probably never feel the same way about him. I can never give him what he deserves. I have basically signed the rest of his life away to being stuck with a girl who does not love him nor wants to. I have told Peeta that I do not ever want to marry or have children. I never want to see my child go through what I did. But for now we are friends trying to get out of the mess we created.
"You should stay Peeta," I say giving him a sweet smile which he returns.
We all walk in and sit down at the table. I enjoy having Peeta over and listening to his stories about customers in the bakery. As I look across the table at him talking animatedly to Prim I wonder what would have happened if he had never been reaped. Maybe he would have found a girl who really loved him, a girl who didn't use him. No this is unfair. I am determined to get us out of this mess. This is not Peeta's fault and he shouldn't have to suffer. In a few months or so we can just say we broke up can't we? I sigh knowing deep down that it will never be that simple. Peeta looks up at me and gives a small smile. He pushes back his chair to stand up.
"I better get going. Thank you Ms Everdeen dinner was lovely as always," Peeta says as he stands.
"I'll walk you out," I say getting up.
We walk out into the hall and he opens the front door.
"Haymitch wants to talk with us tomorrow," he says emphasising the word 'talk'. Obviously this isn't going to be a social talk. I nod slowly not looking forward to it. Peeta sees my expression and lets out a small laugh.
"I know but he does care about us," he says as he zips up his jacket.
"Okay I'll see you there in the morning," I say knowing he is right.
He makes his way back to his house and I close the door. I lean my head against the closed door and close my eyes. Everything is so different now. Maybe Haymitch has found a way to get us out of this mess.
Please review and tell me what you think. Should i change anything or improve anything ?