To the people who have been hurt by Miyamoto and his horrible ending to Wind Waker. Miyamoto - I
don't completely hate you, I just needed to write something like this to get my anger out because of
your new flopping game.
Disclaimer: Anyone who sues me is a fag
In the year 2003, Zelda designer Miyamoto decided his ending to Wind Waker. This story takes place the day after.
Miyamoto wakes up to his alarm clock at 5:00 on the first day of February. The first thing he thinks as he walks towards the mirror to one again see how much he looks like a woman, "Wow. I know Zelda was supposed to come out in November, and then December before we decided on February 2nd, but I haven't made one move the Zelda fans have appreciated since Majora's Mask, so why start now? I think I'll postpone the game a little longer."
He stepped out of his house and was immediately bombarded with interviewers.
"What's the deal with this new game?" "How is it coming along? Why isn't it coming out?" "What's the storyline?" "What happens at the end?"
"Everyone, stop!" Miyamoto said, "Now look, I can't tell you everything, but I can tell you that I will like this game, regardless of how many millions of fans I will let down, and what everyone will feel when they learn what has been a great legend has been ruined by my cartoon. And I have modified this game so younger children will like it just so I can get them in the sack easier (as no woman or man will have sex with me voluntarily, and I am too weak to force anyone to nail me above the age of 12)."
As Miyamoto stepped away from the interviewers, he fell into a manhole, where he saw Link.
"You bastard!" said Link, "you ruined the Legend of Zelda."
"Ruined, or made it better?" replied Miyamoto.
"Due to your bad deeds," Link began, "I have no choice, but give the fans what they want, to crucify you."
Link knew he had not time to spare. He threw a deku nut at Miyamoto to keep him from running. Then he started by breaking all his deku sticks over Miyamoto's head. At the finishing of shooting Miyamoto with Link's slingshot, Link took out his megaton hammer. Wanting to save the kill for later, he hit his victim with the hammer just in the feet, then slowly moving up to his knee caps. Once Miyamoto's legs were smashed into bloody pulps beneath the knees, Link forced Miyamoto to eat his boomerang, smothered with rotten mushrooms from the lost woods. Link grabbed Miyamoto with his hookshot in the arm, and flung him across the sewer, then ratching him back in and catching him with his shield. With little time left, Link used the strong edge of the master sword to slowly skin Miyamoto, while using his other hand to drop the iron boots on Miyamoto's face. As Miyamoto's skin was mostly off, only a minute of life, Link slowly drove the Mirror shield into Miyamoto's neck, until all the life was gone, and hit him with light arrows until the Devil himself came and conceded his title to Miyamoto.
I hope this has let some steam off of those who are really pissed for Miyamoto destroying Hyrule at the end of Wind Waker.
Also, I know my writing quality was merely mediocre, I wrote this in just a few minutes while I was still mad as hell at Miyamoto. R&R, but remember, flames are for flamers!
Disclaimer: Anyone who sues me is a fag
In the year 2003, Zelda designer Miyamoto decided his ending to Wind Waker. This story takes place the day after.
Miyamoto wakes up to his alarm clock at 5:00 on the first day of February. The first thing he thinks as he walks towards the mirror to one again see how much he looks like a woman, "Wow. I know Zelda was supposed to come out in November, and then December before we decided on February 2nd, but I haven't made one move the Zelda fans have appreciated since Majora's Mask, so why start now? I think I'll postpone the game a little longer."
He stepped out of his house and was immediately bombarded with interviewers.
"What's the deal with this new game?" "How is it coming along? Why isn't it coming out?" "What's the storyline?" "What happens at the end?"
"Everyone, stop!" Miyamoto said, "Now look, I can't tell you everything, but I can tell you that I will like this game, regardless of how many millions of fans I will let down, and what everyone will feel when they learn what has been a great legend has been ruined by my cartoon. And I have modified this game so younger children will like it just so I can get them in the sack easier (as no woman or man will have sex with me voluntarily, and I am too weak to force anyone to nail me above the age of 12)."
As Miyamoto stepped away from the interviewers, he fell into a manhole, where he saw Link.
"You bastard!" said Link, "you ruined the Legend of Zelda."
"Ruined, or made it better?" replied Miyamoto.
"Due to your bad deeds," Link began, "I have no choice, but give the fans what they want, to crucify you."
Link knew he had not time to spare. He threw a deku nut at Miyamoto to keep him from running. Then he started by breaking all his deku sticks over Miyamoto's head. At the finishing of shooting Miyamoto with Link's slingshot, Link took out his megaton hammer. Wanting to save the kill for later, he hit his victim with the hammer just in the feet, then slowly moving up to his knee caps. Once Miyamoto's legs were smashed into bloody pulps beneath the knees, Link forced Miyamoto to eat his boomerang, smothered with rotten mushrooms from the lost woods. Link grabbed Miyamoto with his hookshot in the arm, and flung him across the sewer, then ratching him back in and catching him with his shield. With little time left, Link used the strong edge of the master sword to slowly skin Miyamoto, while using his other hand to drop the iron boots on Miyamoto's face. As Miyamoto's skin was mostly off, only a minute of life, Link slowly drove the Mirror shield into Miyamoto's neck, until all the life was gone, and hit him with light arrows until the Devil himself came and conceded his title to Miyamoto.
I hope this has let some steam off of those who are really pissed for Miyamoto destroying Hyrule at the end of Wind Waker.
Also, I know my writing quality was merely mediocre, I wrote this in just a few minutes while I was still mad as hell at Miyamoto. R&R, but remember, flames are for flamers!