"Ah... Herr Engineer!"

Engineer looked up from the blueprints for a level-three sentry he was modifying to see Medic holding a stack of papers. "Yeah, doc?"

"Vhat is zhis?" Medic asked, holding the papers out for Engineer to see.

"Well, that looks like the Warren Report."

"So zhis Kennedy vas vone of your presidents, ja?"

Hearing a topic that he could easily rant on, Soldier strode over to where Medic and Engineer sat at the mess hall table. "Oh yes he was! He was killed five years ago by the Soviets!"

"Really? It says nozhing about zhat in here..." Medic looked back at the warren report.

"Tha's what they want ye tae think! It's all a cover-oop!" Demoman said, walking over towards Medic, Engineer, and Soldier.

Scout sat down at the table as well. "Really? Cool!"

"Aye, th' bloody CIA's wot did it," Demoman continued, taking a swig of his scrumpy. "They were real mad after wot Kennedy did after th' Bay o' Pigs, they were."

Leaning on the wall with a skeptical expression, Spy snorted. "Ze CIA isn't powerful enough to pull zat big of a cover-up."

"The CIA had nothing to do with it!" Soldier said. "It was the communists!"

"Hey, Pyro, Heavy, Sniper, whaddya think?" Scout asked, noticing that the three in question had entered the room and were listening.

"Mmmphh mmmph," Pyro said, unintelligible as usual.

"...I think I'll stay outta this," Sniper said. "I don't really know all that much about it."

Heavy just shrugged. He didn't usually say much anyway.

"It's just zhat zhere's no vay zhe bullet could haff done zhis..." Medic said. "It would haff run out of energy in Kennedy."

"Oh yeah?" Soldier asked, standing up and glaring at Medic.

"Ja!" Medic stood as well and glared back at Soldier.
"Well let's test it out then! We've got Respawn!"

"Sniper can be Osvald-" Medic began.

Soldier cut him off. "-Scout can be Kennedy-"

"-Demoman can be zhe governor-"

"-Spy can be his wife-" At this point Medic and Soldier were shouting over each other.

"Hey!" Spy immediately jumped up.

"-Und you can be zhe president's vife, Soldier!"

"Hey!"

"Nein, Scout is too small to be zhe president. You should be Kennedy," Medic said.

"Well then you're Jackie."

Medic glared at him for a few seconds before acquiescing. "Fine. Let's do it."

Half an hour later, Soldier, Demoman, Medic and Pyro were sitting on top of Sniper's camper van, Spy was at the wheel, Sniper was perched up in his sniper nest, and the rest of the team watched. At Scout's signal, Spy started the car up and Sniper got into position.

And a shot rang out across the desert.