[Edited!]
So, this is a story about AC Rogue, a what-if mostly. I really appreciated Rogues' characters even if little space was given to them in the game! In this fic we will see much more of the Assassins as well as *almost* everyone's favourite Templar... guess who he is...(!) and even take a closer look at Shay's relationship with Hope, which could eventually (but not necessarily) lead to romance or to heartbreak.
I am always opened for suggestions and corrections. Also, needless to say, I love to get feedback, it really makes me happy!
I hope you enjoy!
Life is a kaleidoscope of possibilities. Without acknowledging it, every movement, every gesture is fatal in deciding what is to become of us.
I did not know what miracle saved me from destruction, from throwing myself down that cliff. Maybe the spirit of the world had pity of me at last, and decided to spare me yet another suffering. I will never know.
"You are out of your minds!" I screamed in rage, blinded by anger and fear. Why wouldn't anyone listen to me? I reported a terrible mistake, a failure, and all I got was more blame heaped on my already weak shoulders.
That February night was not only freezing, but also forsaken by God. And now, like if what had happened in Lisbon hadn't been enough suffering for a dozen lifetimes, my friend Liam looked upon me as a liar. He wouldn't let go of me even though I struggled to break free from his grip.
"That is not the right way to address your superiors, Shay. I know that what you have seen in Lisbon was terrible, but we have to reason about it with a cold mind." he said once he managed to drag me out in the parlour. "You need to chill out. Tomorrow morning we will gather the council and talk about the matter" he finished, and let go of me.
Behind his rough touch and rushed words, I sensed his eyes looking at me with understanding mixed with pity and a sense of... fear. The damage was done, though, and instead of further analysing the situation I decided that he was making a fool out of me.
"What should I care about disrespect now? Thousands have fallen because of that damn artefact!" I yelled, drawing the attention of a small group of guards that stood nearby. I regarded them with a ferocious grow until they looked away, then I focused again on Liam. "Well?" I snapped, "aren't you going to reproach me now? I am being disrespectful towards you as well!"
"It is all right, Shay. It is all over now" said Liam gently, as if what I had just said was not meant to hurt him.
"It is not all right. I swear to God, you are the worst slimy scum that lives on this Earth!"
"I might be, but spelling it out loud in front of the Brotherhood won't bring the dead back"
I shook my head in disbelief. My anger was quickly subsiding to guilt and grief. Even though I meant every word of what I said, I had to admit that during those long weeks at sea, my temper had developed in a very unstable way and a trivial matter could trigger anger bursts or a sense of desolation with uncommon speed.
How could I be so self-centred? I looked towards the house, from which Hope's voice was rising, her hurried words barely understandable. Suddenly, I thought that things could never go back to the way they were before. There was no escape route for me, no hope of redemption, no coming back. Submerged by the acknowledgement of it and by the strength of my emotions, I bowed my head.
'No... I have to be strong' I repeated to myself as I struggled to hold my tears back.
"It is not all right" I whispered, "It cannot be erased. Death cannot be erased" I hid my face in my hands and let tears stream down my cheeks silently.
"Don't cry, Shay. Please" my friend pleaded, and I sensed the weakness in his own voice. He had almost never seen me cry, and I had been determined not to, not now. However, hearing his friendly voice made me burst into desperate sobs. After all I had all the reason in the world to, didn't I?
Immediately, Liam stepped forward and closed me into a tight brotherly embrace. I leaned on his shoulder and vented all the desperation of the past weeks. I felt so exhausted that shame did not matter any longer.
After a while, I regained control of myself and detached from him. Patrols and recruits had vanished from the area, leaving only snowy prints as a sign of their former presence. The whole valley seemed devoid of any life with its ghostly silence and dimly-lit fires, with cold penetrating not only walls and roofs, but also the deepest corners of men's souls.
"Sorry" I said simply.
"Don't be" Liam replied, taking me in his arms again. This time, though, his grip was stronger, too strong for an embrace.
"Please, let me go. I can't bear this" The situations felt quite embarrassing considering that we had never been that close physically.
His grip did nothing but tighten, and I suddenly realised that his intentions went beyond providing solace for me. Like any good Assassin would do with a target in dire waters, he was applying pressure to my neck.
"What...?" I managed to say before my lungs failed me. I gasped, desperate for some air, but my throat was sealed.
'I wonder what he intends to do with me' Once realised it was too late to do anything, and I let darkness engulf me.
The first thing that I noticed when I regained consciousness was the smell. It was the essence of flowers and wood. The air itself had a clean, pure aroma.
'It cannot be my room' I thought as I slowly opened my eyes.
"Where am I?" I asked, but there was no one there with me. Slowly, I sat up in the bed and looked towards the window.
It was clear that I was still on the Manor's grounds, but the side of the house I had been brought to had a quite different view from the one I was used to. Whereas most rooms on the ground floor I was admitted into faced the training area, the bedchamber I was in now had a beautiful view on the surrounding hills. Judging from the shining sun outside, I must have slept through the night and most of the following day. Nothing quite like a sleepers hold to get rid of nightmares.
Again, my focus moved on the current situation. Still dumb with sleep and confusion, I let my eyes linger on the refined wooden furniture and finally on the door.
"I wonder if it is locked"
Slowly, I climbed out of bed and took into consideration my possibilities to flee. The situation looked bad enough: my neck still hurt for the rough treatment of the previous evening, let alone the head. Furthermore, the long scar on my leg I had acquired while fleeing from the earthquake had opened again and blood was lazily pouring out when I moved. Finally, I was standing in nothing but my sleeping trousers. I didn't have a chance to face the snowstorm outside.
As I was lost in thoughts about my surroundings, I heard steps coming from the corridor. They were silent yet determined, and there was only one person who moved around the house that way...
... 'it must be Hope'.
I rushed under the sheets and covered myself. My heart began to pound in my chest as the door opened.
'Just in time. Another couple of seconds and she'd find me half-naked'. Not that it mattered that much. I imagined she had already seen a man's bare chest as she sometimes took care to seal wounds. I did not like the though much, but there was nothing I could do anyways.
As I had imagined, the door had been locked. I heard the click of the keys and then a strong smell of coffee wafted to my nose.
"Don't think I haven't heard you wandering around" she said somehow coldly.
"I was not" I said, puling the bed sheet up until my chin in a silly attempt to cover my ten-days unshaven face I suddenly felt ashamed of.
"You'd better not"
"Where am I?"
"This is my room, on the third floor of the Homestead. There is no way for you to escape, unless you like having broken ribs and a limp for the rest of your life" She gestured towards the window, and I sighed in amused frustration. "Liam brought you here. You were sleeping like a baby" she said with a small mocking grin.
"Hey! I was not sleeping. And I can't believe Liam carried me up the stairs like a bride" I said, sitting up in the bed and smiling to her.
But the bliss was not destined to last long. Memories of the previous night flooded my mind and brought me back to reality.
Had Liam known all along what I had planned to do as soon as I was left on my own? The thought itself made me feel giddy and nauseous. I fell beck and crawled under the cover. I did not want to risk another breakdown.
"He did. He cares about you a great deal" she said simply. She moved near the bed and she sat on a side.
I did not answer.
"I have brought you breakfast" she said after a small while.
I nodded, still giving my back to her. Truth be told, I had never thought I was going to have another breakfast, or to see another day. Now I suddenly felt ashamed of that.
"Do you believe me, Hope?" I suddenly asked.
"What are you talking about?" she said, moving away from me. I spotted uneasiness in her voice.
"I heard you discussing with Achilles last night"
"And I heard you wailing in pain. Do you believe me so insensible, Shay?" she said, looking straight into my eyes.
"You shoved me out of the room"
" You came in shouting. After all those months, you threw yourself in the room with such harsh words and accusations against us. You know how proud I am. We all are. What did you expect us to do?"
"You could have told me that you believed me"
She sighed. "I don't know what to believe, Shay. Until you are in the conditions to tell us what precisely happened, no one is going to be sure about anything".
She walked towards the door. A moment before touching the knob, she turned to look at me.
"I know you didn't lie, Shay. I had no reason not to. Nor do the others"
This time she did not lock the door.